November 29, 1995 - Wednesday - UF with Nedda

     Playing with Nedda has gotten me on one of those little roller coaster trips that make life oh so much fun. But we are new to the game so it's more like a kiddie ride than anything serious... I saw her in class on Monday and was excited when she decided to sit in my row instead of one row up with the guy she always sits with. She said hi to me and asked me how my birthday was. I said good, and asked about Thanksgiving. That was all. She moved up a row the next period and I didn't talk to her again.

     What's funny is that I'll have a really cool day with her, but then the next time we'll hardly talk, if at all. I'll just sit there and think that it really doesn't matter anyway because of Kristen, and because we'd probably be sent far apart from each other through the horrible course of grad schools and jobs. It just wouldn't be practical. But then I'll talk to her again... like today.

     We started by her friend asking her about studying this Saturday, but he wants to watch the game, too. She turned to me and asked if I knew when it was and I said it was around eight which surprised him. A guy behind us them confirmed my guess so I was cool, right? During genetics she turned to me and said she was going to come and sit by me. I smiled big and clapped my hands in joy. She said there is this Asian guy with long hair who always sits by her and she doesn't like him. Sure enough he came and was looking at her and smiling... her friend, Erika Jasmine was guarding her flank, however.

     She wanted to tell me her latest exploits from the pathology department. I think she saw an amputated leg with a huge sore on the foot, down to the tendons, and a malformed placenta. I told her how I tried to find out about volunteering there and she said that I should just come with her next Monday. But I can't! I have a parasitology lab practical at that time, unfortunately... damn.

     We eventually were talking about Thanksgiving and I told her how sad I was that she didn't bring me leftovers like she said she would. She claimed there was nothing left, and didn't really think I was
expecting anything after I told her I hadn't eaten that morning in anticipation. It was cute.

     I happened to look at her attendance scantron and saw that her social security number was quite similar to mine. ###-##-####! I accused her of cheating and when she saw my number she exclaimed that "You're the one!" (I hope so!) and then explained that she always sees that there are two people with the same exam number posted. In genetics it is done by the last four digits, and your initial. I had
always seen that one, too... A "N" with no middle name, which is right. Cool. She said that out of all the people, it just HAD to be me. Of course it did.

     During class our teacher was reading a list of ALL the food items that have potential carcinogens in them. Saffron was one of them and she said how her family eats that with rice. She then seemed
quite surprised when I said that I eat that all of the time as well. She said that it's a persian dish, I just know it as yellow rice... I then waited for her after class to say goodbye to Erika and we headed out towards biochemistry. I actually didn't think I was going to go, as usual, unless she let me sit by her. She even said she looked for me the other day "down in my little corner" but I wasn't there. But I
had to go volunteer anyway and was meeting Kristen for lunch there.

     Nedda mentioned that she was hungry and wished that she had gone to her car to get it. I told her that she should and that I would walk with her. She didn't think we should until I said I didn't
really care about class and was just going to volunteer later. That was enough and we cut through the lot behind the biology building. I was going to walk back up the road but she wanted to take the little
path through the woods. I was elated that she wanted to go that way because it shows trust, especially with a guy you don't really know on a path as secluded as that one, in Gainesville where freaks kill
and eat people somewhat frequently.

     We went the back way between the sewage treatment plant and the electricity plant on a path I had never been on before. She showed me a water retention pond with a very large alligator in it and we
stopped and looked for a few minutes. We were also bird watching and joked about the fact that we were. We saw a couple of cardinals, some finches, and a pretty egret. I was also telling her about scuttling up next to the alligators at Lake Wauberg.

     We made it out to her car, an emerald Grand Am, that she unlocked the trunk of with the touch of a button on her keychain. She pulled out her lunch and I noticed her MCAT scores. She refused to
tell me saying that it's none of my business. I've noticed she is like that with any test score so I reminded her that it won't be hard anymore with our social security numbers being the way they are. She fretted in agreement and later said that now I can change all of her registration and stuff. I told her I couldn't because I needed the pin number, so she wouldn't tell me her birthday which is what she kept it at. Fool.

     We made it all of the way up to the biochemistry door before I decided to go ahead and go in with her. I stood by her seat for a minute talking to her before asking if I could sit there. She said only if I have a potato chip so I gladly took one. I joined her after quickly running upstairs to check my exam grades. We studied for a while and talked about other things. I was making her laugh and she called me strange at one point. Oh well...

     I was just so happy to sit with her two periods in a row, making it hopefully much more than just a one class random event. We'll see, I guess.

November 24, 1995 - Friday - Lonely drunken birthday

     Nothing better than a drunken stupor to entice the best of journal entries. It's amazing how my fingers move so fast without my head much knowing what they are doing. This must be the best time to express myself... I just realized how the first two days of this Thanksgiving break, while Kristen is down in Tampa has been an extremely wondeful vacation. She would be rather upset to hear this
but I must say that it is so.

     I just "stumbled" home from the Purple Porpoise, one of Gainesville's most famous college bars. I dressed up all spectacular not knowing what tp expect. I wore my black Levis, my Timberlands, my
best flannel shirt with blue in it to accent my eyes... etc. I was rather optemistic as I prepared myself. I packed a pen to write phone numbers, a Gold Circle condom, my pack of Marlboro lights, a lighter,
and any other essentials that I just can't imagine now. It's funny how it looks like I am typeing so fast but the entry is lengthening so slowly. And my fingers fall short of the desired key quite frequently.

     I started my birthday celebration by having a full shot (at least!) of my newly aquired Goldschl„ger birthday present to myself. It came with a free candelabra wine/shot glass that was very nice and a symbol of my twety-first birthday. I wanted the huge jug of Malibu with the free mug, but could never have carried that on my backpack. I headed out and got a couple of looke from cute girls that appeared like they wanted me. I wish. I went to the bicycle shop where I bought a seat bolt in January and he let me return in no problem. that gave me an extra five bucks of guilt free spending money.

     I toured the local used CD shops but nothing was very interesting. I wwnt as far as Specs but their prices were blown away by the mall today. I dreamt of going to Kaos tonight where they are having an UF-FSU amateur fight and then the famous hot body contest. I would have loved that, but walking or biking would have probably gotten me robbed by a black man. Such crimes are extremely frequent
these days as reported by the school newspaper. I consented to go to the Porpoise despite the fact that it would be much harder to make it out alive.

     As the Goldscl„ger wore off, I got more and more nervous about going into a bar, which I know nothing about. I went in and the fool doorman said I am not twenty-one yet but let me in after I let him know how stupid he is. I went and stood by the bar like a fool and felt like everyone was laughing at me, but probably weren't. I finally got a seat and two bartenders passed up my stupid attempts to figure out what to drink. Eventually a gorgeous girl asked me and I had her tell me what was on draft since I couldn't read it from where I was/ I knew there was a special and opted for it... a pitcher of Miller, afraid that it was disgusting. I asked her if they still do birthday specials and she said yes and made me up the strongest, Sex on the Beach. It was good!

     My pitcher turned out to be pretty tasty. A guy came and sat to might right and asked if that wasn't a lot of beer for one person. I admitted that it was but said I would try, and finished the whole
thing rather quickly. The Nebraska game soon ended and I realized that nothing could happen there like I wanted... so I headed home. Even now I can tilt my head back and feel fucking AMAZING!!! I'm going to lye down now and enjoy myself........

November 22, 1995 - Wednesday - Smiles return with Nedda

     I finally had a good day after such a long time of emotional distress. I can't remember being this genuinely excited about life in quite some time. It's horrible to think that I wasted so much of one
of my last undergraduate semesters deserted by happiness.

I don't even know where to begin... so much has been happening but I haven't felt good enough about any of it until now to write about it.

     I've met this fabulous girl named Nedda Salehi, originally born here in St. Augustine, but has an Iranian ethnicity. Her family returned to Iran after her birth and didn't return until she was around nine.

 I had noticed her a few times before I ever met her during one of my morning classes. She had a mystical appeal to her. Her hair is extremely long down to at least the small in her back. She is
somewhat petite but carries herself very well... almost floats.

    And look at this new annoying habit... of pausing as I write... kind of like the infamous pause acting by Captain Kirk of the starship Enterprise... I picked it up from Kristen's cousin Marcy,
whom is another story entirely...

     Nedda... There was an exam today in Eukaryotic Cell Structure which I basically had to ace to salvage my grade in that class. Parasitology was cancelled because of Turkey Day, which gave me an
extra hour. I headed to the library early with Shari and Kristen as they walked to their education classes on the far side of campus. Just as we passed the computer lab, Laura LaRussa walked out and I waved and said hi, but kept on. Moments later Kristen said that girl tried to walk up behind us like she was going to talk to me and was surprised when I said it was Laura. It's so strange to think back
about the decisions I made that summer and the consequences that resulted...

     It figured that some shit had beat me to the library, just minutes after it had opened, and checked out the sample test material I needed. I headed to class and studied until it was exam time. Something interesting happened during the test... it was proctered by three of the major microbiology professors! A lot of people were impressed to see them all together at once. Dr. Achey from last semester even came up and asked how I was doing... he then said that he sees a lot of familiar faces that look one year older. He then asked if he looks one year younger and I said of course. He thanked
me and went on...

     Many unhappy people were forced to remain on campus because Dr. Duggan refused to cancel his microbial genetics class. He cited that we have many important things to cover despite the fact that he spent two days talking about cancer which will never be on the exam. I have started making a point to sit by this group of girls in the Alpha Delta Phi sorority. I am in particular love with Molly McButter... no, Addison. One of the group, unfortunately the least appealing, is a scrawny blonde with a funny shaped face that tries to talk football with us guys in parasitology lab. Her name is Jennifer L. Anderson (although I do not know this). She has finally begun to accept me as someone to sit next to and has done so for the past few days. Today she even borrowed my pencil... WOW! (severe sarcasm). that's actually good because she accepts me as at least a normal person and not a
freak, hopefully.

     Only Jenn and Molly showed today, and then Nedda sat on their far side and we said hi to each other. Jenn wanted to suddenly move to the back so they could leave as soon as role was taken. I quickly (and to my own amazement) became happy that Molly left! I can't believe I felt that way. Nedda moved over to talk for a minute... We hadn't even said hello in a long time until last Friday for a brief minute. We started talking and she ended up getting her stuff and staying with me.

     When I told her I wasn't going home for Thanksgiving, she was all surprised and seemed to feel bad for me. I told her it is because I want to complete my medical applications. She said I could do so at home but I said my computer is up here. She then said that she would have invited me to HER house if she had known that!!! I WISH!!! She lives in Ocala, by the way. I felt quite a glow inside at that comment. When I told her that it's my birthday, too, she seemed even more surprised that I was going to be alone. We mentioned the UF-FSU game briefly, and talked about how she's never been to a game yet.

     She asked me at one point if I wanted to listen to Duggan and take notes, or talk... and guess what I opted for? He always yells at people and I was quite pleases that he didn't yell at us when we
ended up talking all period, especially since a third of the class was gone. She started telling me about volunteering in the surgical pathology department. I mentioned a four week old baby that had dies
of full cardiac arrest in the ER last week. I also mentioned the suspected anal abuse... very sad.

     She told me how she has seen and played with lymph nodes that were removed due to cancer, a kidney, and liver tissue, and quite a few stones. She told me how tumorous tissue looks pretty disgusting, and how human skin is really hard to cut with a scalpel and dulls the blade much more quickly than one would suspect. She was drawing little pictures of everything on her paper and it was getting quite detailed. I joked that he has to go back and label everything now, and we did it together.

     She thought I was laughing at her at one point about telling me all of this because of the way I was smiling at her. I told her I was definitely not, and she then explained how she likes talking to me about this because I am the only one who will listen to her about it and she wants to talk about it. I suddenly experienced a second ball of warmth... I've always loved hearing a girl say how much she likes talking to me because I'll actually listen. I later asked her if that was really such a good thing.. that we both like dead tissue?

     At one point he yelled at the people a few rows ahead of us to shut up so people around them can learn. She asked if he was talking to us on the paper and I asked her what? She then wrote asking if I
can read? Her grammar wasn't perfect so I said yes, I can read ENGLISH. She then wrote "English" in Arabic. I've always thought Arabic is a beautiful written language and asked her if she could
write her name, since I saw that she wasn't fluent. She did and then explained how words are written backwards, but numbers aren't. And the books are read from the "back to the front" of the book.

     I was trying to show interest and she seemed surprised and glad that I was. She started trying to remember the alphabet and write it down. I asked her about the letters in her name and she explained them to me, and then wrote the names of the letters above each one in her alphabet. At the end of class I asked her if I could have that page. She seemed surprised that I wanted it and said she would have written a nicer copy if she had known. I then said I had wanted the whole page with the drawings, too, so when she is famous I can say she drew this when... and we laughed.

      As class ended some dork came up and asked her how the test was. I refused to lose her again like the first time we walked together to biochemistry and was persistent. When he was done, he
asked if her name was Nedda and seemed proud that he remembered it... I almost felt embarrassed for him. We then started walking. I told her I wasn't going to biochem, and she scolded me. I said I was
hungry and was going home for lunch. Unfortunately, I only had an hour to eat and get ready before Kristen was driving me to Shands to volunteer as she headed home to Tampa. I never wished more that I didn't have to meet her to say goodbye, because I would have gone on one of my infamous walks like in the days of old.

     It's so hard to be nice with Nedda, though, because she will always try to walk as far as possible with me, while I am doing the same thing with her. She is too easy like that with me. She quickly
decided that he should go to her car and get her lunch and I smiled. If I didn't have to meet Kristen I would have gone with her... SHIT. She mentioned something about having to arrive an hour early to get a parking space, and then sits in her car and waits for class. It reminded me of how anal I am about being early and often used to sit in my Mustang once I got to work and all. But I didn't admit that because the similarity might only be in MY head.

     I asked her what she does for Thanksgiving if anything. Her mom cooks a big turkey dinner with all of the classic fixins like sweet potatoes (which she doesn't like because potatoes aren't supposed to
be sweet). I told her that if she has any leftovers that I'd be very happy if she brought me some... but I don't know if she thinks I was serious. I hope she does.

     We were talking about the body more. I brought up how amazing I thin it is that all of those organs are packed so neatly in such a tight little space as I looked at her tiny little chest. She agreed
and we were talking about where things are. I explained the trick about finding your stomach, and she said why you have to be careful performing CPR so the bottom of the sternum won't puncture your
liver! We were also talking about he orientation of your kidneys because she got that wrong when the doctor in pathology asked her if she knew...

     I was quite turned on by her when she was touching herself pointing out her organs. When she found her lower ribs to find her stomach, I especially liked it. She was wearing a very classy outfit
today and looked very nice. It was a long v-neck emerald sweater with a very sexy lacy undershirt... YUM!    

 I also brought up a conversation Kristen and I were having this morning. I told her it is domestic violence awareness week and asked her if she's hit anyone at home yet to celebrate. She laughed in
surprise, and I explained myself. People celebrate black history month in order to learn black history and put it to use. So violence week means you have to hit someone in order to appreciate not doing
so all the time. I asked how we should celebrate AIDS week, perhaps running around all week trying to get it by having sex. She suggested that we just have a sex week... and took her turn surprising me... I just didn't expect to hear something like that from her...

     We soon parted near the parking lot, unfortunately...