I've been thinking quite a bit about Kimmy Sue lately. That was our little joke and I called her that a couple of times at Adventure Island on Friday. It's very relaxing to just lie down and recreate us drifting around together in the refreshing water. I know fully that we will be parting in four weeks But I haven't seemed to let that bother me. I'm just very glad that we've expanded our friendship like we did. I'm hoping that when we part that we will leave our relationship wide open in case that we meet up again down the road. We have already said that we are going to write to each other. Being with Kim has aroused those sensuous desires from within me that I love so much. I've enjoyed listening to jovial dance music lately which means that I'm in a much better mood lately, with a good outlook towards life.
Back to Kimmeth, she's beautiful. I really like looking at her and looking into those gorgeous hazel eyes. I've never been able to softly stare into a girl's eyes as easily as I can Kimmeth's. For a while when we were floating, and while we were laying out, I looked at her with a somewhat glazed mentality. She often met my gaze and thankfully didn't do anything to divert it. I'm glad she didn't. I don't know if it's possible, but sometimes I seem to almost enjoy myself too much, but I don't mind at all. Kim is so sensuous, it's disgusting. One physical characteristic that I really adore are freckles. She has just the right amount scattered across her upper back and shoulders. She's built so perfectly. I'm intrigued.
We were talking over breakfast about why she dumped her boyfriend a couple weeks ago. She said something that could have been taken like she wouldn't have sex with him. I said, 'No wonder the two of you broke up,' and she quickly retaliated with, 'I did everything that I was supposed to do.' OK. She told me again how he was being a total asshole when he came down from St. Louis. The first night he called her and told her that he and his little brother were going to some club over here in Tampa. She was mad that he wouldn't come and see her since the club was only fifteen minutes from her house. She told him that she hoped she'd see him tomorrow and he told her that he did, too. After being a total asshole she dumped him. Whatever was going through this guy's head to treat a girl like Kim that way is severely fucked up.
I wonder if somebody were to read my journal, if they'd somehow get the impression that I really like Kim. Silly them if they did. Anyway, this guy's brother is only sixteen, and he asked Kim out but she turned him down. She told me Tuesday night when we had our big 'fallout' that it wouldn't be fair to him if we turned around and went out. Fuck him. I practically told her how stupid I thought that philosophy was. But he's gone, too.
I'm not sure what it is about Kim that is so overwhelming to me but I'd like to find out. The other day at Busch Gardens, Mark actually said something to me as we passed each other. He's probably heard about what I've done for Kim and has come to accept me a bit more. That's good.
Last night I dreamt a lot and it was really deep. I like dreams because they distort reality to suit your mind's desires. I also believe that dreams occur at a much more accelerated pace than real life, since in dreams your mind doesn't have to wait for your body and the rest of the world to catch up with it. I had my alarm set on snooze this morning, and every nine minutes I would wake up. Each time I would fall back into the same dream, but a lot would happen in those few minutes. In my first there was a dance occurring that everyone was calling prom. I went with Jana. I find it extremely weird that you can feel things in your dream. We were holding hands and hanging on each other, and she felt the same way in my dream as she did back at Leto when we would brush together or hand each other something. The alarm rang and then I ended up going home early with Kirsten because we had to help with her little brother's birthday party. We ended up sidetracked somewhere in my car but my alarm rang. The next segment was with Agnes from work and she's the one I ended up undressing. I think she was still pregnant. It was very interesting.
Later I was dreaming that I was with father at work. It was raining and then Kim and I were outside in front of the store in our yellow Busch Gardens raincoats heading for the door. We must of been eating because I smeared honey on her face and was saying I wanted to lick it off. She came up and rubbed her face on my back and I called her a jerk. Once we got inside we were trying to find a place where we could kiss. We were trying for some reason to find a place where no one would see us so we went into the stockroom. My father and Chuck, who was now a manager instead of a stockman, were there so we went on passed them to the back table. I lifted her and sat her up on the table. Chuck came by and sternly told me not to kiss that girl in the raincoat and quickly left. I told her to hurry and take the raincoat off and we both were snickering. And then mother and father wake me up coming into my room. I told them they just ruined a really good dream but I didn't tell them what it was.
Maybe someday someone will be able to give me an idea of what they meant. I think that dreams give a true description of your subconscious mind and they really interest me.
I just remembered a little talk Kim and I had when we were walking around at Busch Gardens. She told me how she wants to get a tattoo. I think she was somewhat joking. I asked her what of and she said she wants a chili pepper in full color. I told her that she should put it somewhere where she can easily hide it when she goes to some place classy or when she regrets getting it later in life. She told me that she doesn't believe in regretting things so I told her that she should make it easily hideable for when she hates herself later on in life. She agreed with that one. I asked her why she wanted a chili pepper and she said it is like her, different, hot and spicy, or something like that. She said that somewhat sarcastically. We then started brainstorming for some alternatives. She said she didn't want anything like a rose on the ankle. I told her that she'd look good with big anchors on her arms or possibly a dragon all the way down her thigh. She said that maybe she would get a naked man on her arm, like guys get naked women. She says naked really funny, like neck-id. I made fun of her accent. I hope she was kidding about the tattoo. Speaking of trends, I want a diamond stud earring.
My family and I went shopping today and bought some stuff for me to start off with up at Gainesville. I bought shampoo, toothpaste, dental floss, razor blades, shaving lotion, bath soap, and some other stuff. We were in the toy department at Target and my father goes you're going to need some of these, too. It was a bag of long balloons. I told him that I knew and figured I'd get them from Cindy over at Eckerds. I ended up joking about buying them to mother and to Chrissy but I'm sure as hell not going to go to college without a big old box of condoms. I actually should carry one with me now because I'm going to be screwed when I don't get screwed because I'm not prepared. Get it. I'd like to do Kim au naturale, though. She's been saying how she misses Joey lately, so I've been telling her that now she needs to go out and have her own. I'd be glad to help. I think I need to stop for now, and relax for a while.
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