D - So was Livestock worth it?
S - What do you mean?
D - That's when you killed my baby.
Why do you think I was so against you going to Livestock, I thought I had figured out that you were pregnant and knew what would happen! Remember how I kept saying you had to stay for Cord's birthday, yes that's important but obviously wasn't important enough for all of the time I spent trying to convince you not to go. I had other reasons that I was afraid to bring up. If I had "accused" you of being pregnant, and you weren't, I was afraid you'd get pissed at me for some reason and leave me.
When you did leave me on your own, I figured that your important news wasn't that you were pregnant, but that you had found somebody else. That's why it was so easy for me to let you go at the time. It's not until now, over an entire month later that missing you is tearing me to pieces!
The scary thing is, I still find myself forgiving you for everything you do (or everything I think you do) and that scares me. Why am I like that, why do I like you so damn much? I have a bad habit of convincing myself that everything that went wrong with us is entirely my fault. If only I hadn't kept shut up and had talked to you about being pregnant from the start, then everything might be fine... If only I didn't have to leave you in the first place...
Well, I've spent the past month improving my stamina and technique. I just wanted so much for you to be the one that showed me how, but now I ask you to judge me.... he he.
Leigh Anne is trying her hardest to get me back, and I'm accommodating her but I'm not telling her anything or doing anything that I feel is wrong. I constantly refuse to kiss her and deny her pleads for me to let her stay the night with me just to hold me and be there for me through all of my problems. She gave me a cassette of "I miss you" songs that she stayed up Friday night for eight hors making for me, and then gave me a pink rose and foil "I love you" balloon yesterday. I put it in my makeshift vase with the red rose she gave me Monday. She claims they were out of red roses this time around. She also was making a big deal out of things because yesterday would have been our one month anniversary and she was telling me that she had big plans for today back before Thanksgiving Break.
All I have to say is that if she thinks my attitude after only four days back in Tampa was bad, wait until I have to deal with two and a half weeks worth of the bliss. I hope.
Oh yeah, for statistic's purposes, she claims the count ended at 25/28/2. I think she included our final fuck, where I almost came two times before finally doing so as having sex three times. That's not the way I do things. Thus 23/26/2 is more accurate. Let me explain. 23 times I orgasmed / 26 times we had sex / 2 times we had anal sex. An even better one would be 23 times I orgasmed / 26 times we had sex / 1 time I orgasmed during anal sex / 2 times we had anal sex / lots of blow jobs, but 0 orgasms. 23/26/1/2/N/0. Shar¡ was 4/4, Abby was 1/2. Total score... 28/32/1/2/N/0.
So when Shar¡ got me, I was a completely unexperienced worthless piece of shit, and had only had sex six times in my life once she had gone. Now I've learned and practiced and could make her oh so happy! Nix the jinx... but I hope so much for just one chance to have sex with her again.............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it would matter!
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