I just talked to Christina and learned a few things that aren't really new or important. She was worried that this guy, Josh, gave her a disease and just found out that he didn't after he visited the hospital. The guy who got her pregnant also is threatening that she will get an abortion, with or without violence so she's planning on staying with an Aunt in Daytona starting at the beginning of the new year. There goes my only connection with Shar¡. I changed the subject to Shar¡, and Christina complained that it seems like she keeps giving Josh these looks like she likes him. She also was joking about how much Shar¡ and I pissed her off back when we started going out. I joked about wanting to have sex with her now and she really liked that a lot. I told her that she didn't really miss anything but she said that she doesn't know that and I could be awesome in bed because Shar¡ never talked about us having sex to her. I really like that. I told her that either way I have been practicing a lot lately and we laughed.
Christina claims that Shar¡ definitely lost our baby. I tried to help her figure out why but she doesn't know. I asked about Livestock but she said that Shar¡ didn't go to Livestock because they were together that weekend...??????? I asked and she told me that Shar¡ has known for about two months and she was telling me again how much she thought Shar¡ should have told me from the beginning and how they used to talk about that. They are going out to Mulligans tonight and I asked her to please tell Shar¡ to call me and she said she would. I made a few cute jokes that will almost assure that she does.
What sucks is that my life suddenly feels so empty right now. I had a dream two nights ago about this confrontation between Shar¡ and I and she told me that she was having triplets!!! but then disappeared and didn't have much to do with me for the rest of the dream. It was my mind fearing that even if she does have my baby, that she'll stay with the other guy. I think triplets stemmed from my want of twins, plus Cord. I really feel that I was taken for a ride by Shar¡ and was meddling with something I wasn't ever meant to understand. I tried to change so much for her and that probably isn't right. That empty feeling inside just dreads having to start everything all over again.
It's weird I feel that way because I have Leigh Anne who wants to marry me and is pushing sex down my throat, Sarah seems pretty promising, Kimmeth is still a really good friend, Laura and I are on improving terms, and Ashley and I are better friends than ever. I've never had such an abundance of good women, and for so long it has been overshadowed by the love of the one bad one. Everything that could possibly be wrong was... love must be the strongest thing in the universe.
Ashley and I met downstairs at seven on Wednesday morning to walk to our Biology exam. She had stayed at her sorority house for the night to study. We went and took the test and I waited afterwards for her outside. I met up with Fran‡oise and we talked for a while. It turns out that she and Leigh Anne were next door neighbors last year. Anyway, Ashley and I cried about the exam afterwards on our trip home.
I took advantage of the little spare time I had to mail Christmas cards. I bought one for Granny, Kimmeth and Carey Ann before buying another much better one for Kim at the mall. The one I had originally picked out for her was really mushy and talked about how special our friendship is. I tried to rearrange the cards so that I could give them to four different people, not knowing how Kim would like two. It suddenly hit me how appropriate Ashley would be as a recipient of the friendship card. I filled it out and told her to give me a call in Tampa (that's another reason I gave it to her, to give myself an excuse to give her my home phone number!). It was really sweet. I only felt bad about not giving Laura anything. I then had the person downstairs put the card in Ashley's mailbox to formalize the whole thing.
I got a call from Ashley later on that night and she started off the conversation in a way that I wasn't sure if she had gotten the card. She finally thanked me for it and you could tell that he really liked it, a lot!!! She's the kind of girl that really appreciates sentimental things. I also had been worried about how I could keep our friendship going strong next semester and I think I did a damn good job of solidifying it. We talked for forty-five minutes until her phone battery started going dead.
She then invited me down and I stayed for over an hour. She gave me a Jolt cola and a bag full of candy. We talked a lot and a couple of times when I would say I was about ready to go just to make sure I wasn't imposing, she would whine and say that I have to stay to keep her company. Laura, Jessica and Rob showed up from seeing the movie, Jurassic Park and we all talked for a while longer. Jessica started an art collage due the next day that consisted of pictures from 1974. She kept holding up pictures and asking us who they were and I answered almost every one right and she was really impressed.
Laura and I were getting along really well, too. She kept cutting down Rob. One time I complained about the Muppet Christmas music, and he then agreed. Laura told him if he didn't like it he could leave and he jokingly complained that she was picking on him and not me. She then said that I am a real friend and came over and gave me a hug! I really liked that. We recommitted our engagement with a ring made out of a piece of Ashley's artificial Christmas tree. It was really cute. We also talked about our presumed date to Busch Gardens some more. Ashley and I have a little date planned for lunch when I come out to Brandon to pick up my ring as well.
Ashley then gave me a call last night from Tampa!!!
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Leigh Anne and my final words:
L - I'm tired of hearing about her, tell it to someone who cares...
D - I'm tired of hearing about us, tell it to someone who cares...
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