Dear Shar¡,
OK friend, I'm going to let you in on a pattern in my life. I have always gotten a rush out of splitting up couples. It's a huge turn on and takes up a lot of my social time up here in Gainesville. I love to become friends with a girl who is in a relationship and then mentally, or sometimes physically, convince them that their man is worthless. I've done this so many times in the past few years it's not really funny.
I'll go in and just start talking to a girl making them believe I only want to be friends. I have always had good advice and am a good listener so the girls will tell me all of their problems without much convincing. I then start pointing out all of the bad aspects of the relationship while hiding the fact of what I am really trying to do. I never toot my own horn and try to make myself look better than the guy. I let the girl realize how right I am on her own and a lot of the times the girl will fall for me on her own. It's a lot of fun and I have become quite good at it.
I have quite a few impressive victories under my belt. There was a girl named Melissa my first year up here who was about four years older than me. She had been dating this guy very seriously for over three years and had just started having trouble when I met her. The girl was gorgeous and was getting ready to go to Yale on full scholarship! I felt like she was way out of my league but I was very eager to take the challenge. It took me a month but the rewards were cool and quite a few people were surprised that I accomplished that one.
There was this guy named Clint at Busch Gardens over the summer and we were pretty good friends. Christina knows him. Clit's gorgeous little girlfriend Sarah dropped by to see him at work one day and the fool introduced her to me. I immediately picked up on her and started ragging on him right in front of him. I did it in a way that he didn't really catch on and was laughing along with us. Nobody ever said he was smart. I then went on break and walked her out and gave her my phone number. The very next night I received my call and started convincing her to axe Clit it happened very easily. It was almost so easy that the fun was taken away along with the excitement. It also helped that I had just met you. Anyway Sarah wants to be a dentist and wanted to see Gainesville so she is the one I told you came up the weekend after you were here. Her two friends told me that all she kept saying on the drive up was how she was going to rape me when she got here. Unfortunately for her I was in love with you and for some reason didn't want a thing to do with her. She left very pissed and I didn't talk to her again until long after you an I broke up.
Leigh Anne... I finally told the neighbor why I had gone out with her a couple of days before Spring break. It was only because I had just been hurt by you and needed a close and convenient way to keep my mind off you so I wouldn't get depressed because exams were coming up. She was pissed. She was stupid though because she knew how much I cared about you because I used to talk to her about you almost every day when you and I were going out. And then she suddenly thought that I liked her only a week after you dumped me??? There's a nut for you! Back to subject. Not only was Leigh Anne close and convenient, but she had a boyfriend who lived with her in the dorm!!! there argued a lot and she used to slam the door and sit in the hallway. On one occasion I took her in a gave her a massage and almost fucked her the first night. You know what a good massage can do to someone, and hers was only about half of what you used to let me give you. Well, four days later, her boyfriend was gone and I was in......... IN HELL!!! But that's another story and you know it I think.
You have been the only girl that I have dated since eighth grade who didn't have a boyfriend when I fell for them. Or at least I don't think you did, you never seem to tell me these things (JEFF!!!!!).For some reason I think your looks made me think you were too good for me at the start and that set up the challenge. Once I got to know you I fell for you. I still can't tell you why I fell as much as I did and that's something I really wonder about a lot. It feels like I'll never find someone else that I will feel that strongly about which is why I still haven't entirely let go five months later. I think I'll always save a little place in my heart for you that would swallow you up if you ever give it the chance and will never allow me to hate you no matter what you do or say to me. That's also why I asked if you had gotten YOUR ring back. Even if I eventually get it back, I will always associate it with you and will never let another w
Back to topic. There was this girl named Abby in high school who "fell in love" with me after being friends with me for six months. She just told me this Wednesday night over Spring break but I had figured it out in high school. The girl used to skip her classes at the end of my senior year and come to mine and give me back massages!!! It was the funniest thing. I never was interested in her but I kept her around because she was useful. She finally figured this out and started dating some guy. When I came back from Gainesville that following Thanksgiving I figured their relationship had grown strong enough so I started picking it apart. I was screwing her in the ocean at Sand Key and at a park later that same night. We had sex one other time at Christmas but we called it off because I was too far away and her boyfriend was starting to get suspicious.
The bad part is, almost every one of my relationships have ended because one of the two people move away and we then couldn't handle the long distance. Most of the time it was me who was doing the leaving and it seems like every time I have to leave again, there is someone new I'll have to hurt in the process. I left my best friend Kim the first year and we would have ended up together had I not left. We have been friends now for a very long time and have decided that it is better left at just friends as not to take the chance of ruining our friendship.
I never felt more guilty in my life than the night I left you on your doorstep as I left for college. I was leaving one of the best things that had ever happened in my life and knew deep in my heart that leaving would cause the end of us. I just never had any one person that could make me so happy by just being with them. You wouldn't believe the relief I felt when you wrote that first letter telling me how you felt and I will never regret what happened as a result of that. But I still left, and that once again ruined something perfect in my life. Bummer.
AND NOW FOR THE POINT!!!!! I bet you didn't think there was one! You asked me on the phone if it upsets me when you talk about Jeff, and you have made some other references to that before. My life revolves around listening to girls talk about their lovers as you have seen so far. I want to know what is going on and I want to hear it from you, not from Christina. That way I can rise to the challenge and know who I am up against!!! (smile) That's also a part of being friends. I don't want to hear the edited version of your life just because you think I might get upset about something. That's bullshit! I am truly interested in everything that goes on in your life and more importantly I want to hear it from you, even if it's about the guy you're dating or whatever.
As for wanting you. Christina said that you told her that I don't understand that you just want us to be friends. That's fine with me, but until I hear it from YOUR mouth I will assume nothing. I view you as a prospect. A special prospect because we are already friends, but that's not my point. I will try to hit on you as much as any other girl I like, despite what has happened to us in the past. The present is the only thing that matters and I view you as a woman who is truly worth the time and effort. You also have a lover.... how exciting!!!!! J/K!!! I've started over concerning you and want to see where life will take me in that respect. If I am wrong in thinking this way, tell me so, if not, then tell me so...
We talked about this on the phone, but..... I just hope you aren't too mad at me for my bargaining over money with you for your Daytona trip. I just wanted to see how you would react when you would have to give up something important (Jeff's ring or sex to me). You held your ground and I was very impressed and gained a higher respect for you that I had never felt before. Perhaps you really do have a moral or two buried in that gorgeous little head of yours. J/K!!! Either that or you just find me so repulsive that sex is entirely out of the picture.
Had you said yes, I would have gone as far as gotten you undressed and turned on. I then planned on dropping the money on your chest or back and then I would have walked out... very disappointed. Also, there used to be a time when you knew me well enough to know I feel about sex. It's important but never important enough to ruin a friendship (or whatever we have) over. That's why I've done so so sparingly in my life. Sadly I blew all of my morals when I kept having sex with Leigh Anne. My only reason at the time was to be able to better please you if we ever got back together. I realize how much like bullshit that may sound, but it's really not... One final thing, I just wanted to thank you for what you did and didn't choose to do with me while I was down here. However, the shower wasn't as HOT as they used to be..... (frown).
Write me soon, if this doesn't warrant a response, I give up on figuring out what does! Take care sweetheart... and smoke a big one for me!
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