May 23, 1994 - Monday - Kristen's basketball sex

Shari seems to be gone for good this time. I called her up
tonight after getting the answering machine at Ashley's and I left my
name with the guy who answered. It was her brother Chad and he asked if she has called me lately because no one has heard from her for a
week and a half. I was stunned for a few seconds after I hung up and
I could feel my heart pounding in disbelief. I laughed to myself
about how my mother has been telling me to take Shari to small claims court to get my ring back.

I then gave Sarah a call. She got off the other line and started
telling me what has been going on. She just got dumped by this guy
for his real girlfriend whom he had said he was going to dump. They
were then all at Despaparados and she was there and he wouldn't have
anything to do with Sarah. She was about ready to cry and was really
confused about the whole thing. I then told her the story about Shari
and how I felt all along and she was amazed at how similar my
situation was and how I have experienced exactly what she is going
through. She kept saying that over and over while I was telling my
story and was saying that it all seems the same. I told her that guys
can go through that kind of stuff, too, but women don't think we do
and she disagreed that she knows better.

She was asking me how long it took me to get over Shari and I
picked out feelings that were similar to the ones I knew she was
having right then and told her about those. She agreed with a lot of
them. She wa telling me that she needs to find somebody new real
quick and wants it to be someone she can actually talk to and all
that. I wondered to myself if she considers what we're doing
"talking" because most guys aren't nearly as sympathetic as me. I
started telling her things like, if you get desperate enough, make
sure you always remember me! I was also plugging college guys for
being more mature and all that and she agreed that she wants to get
back into that.

I have a way of dragging things out of her that she normally
wouldn't tell a guy. She laughed once and I finally got the story
out. She told me that she will really miss the sex and then she
laughed really hard and wondered why she was telling me this. I just
told her she'll have to find somebody better (me!). She was saying
that she'll miss that part of him a lot. She kept wanting to call him
really bad and then I explained to her why she shouldn't so he won't
get annoyed with her since he obviously wants the other girl. She is
a virgin and has started birth control so I used my magic and without
cutting down the other guy, I explained the facts of life. She kept
saying that she wondered if he was just using her for sex and I told
her that he was probably because this girl wouldn't have sex with him
and now that she will he'll probably stay with her for good. She's
smart and agreed partially with the logic.

She was also saying that it's been a week and a half since she's
had sex and she's used to it weekly so she's going nuts. I told her
how long my hiatus has been, and then said I'll have to start going
over there after work if she needs me. It was funny. I then joked
that she'll have to resort to good old fashioned fingers and she
laughed really hard and said that she's resorted to her fingers on
various occasions but it's just not as good! She then said, at least
she's being honest and we both remarked on how good a trait that is.
I then said that I am picturing her in what she was wearing in
Gainesville using her fingers and she started yelling at me to stop
thinking about her doing that while laughing all the time. It was
great.

We then stated talking about Gainesville and I was telling her
all about how our new dorms will be and she really seemed to like
that and said tat she really wants to go back up there. We were also
reminiscing about her trip up there and she said it was horrible but
I said it was cool because she bought me lunch and we started
laughing about all that. She also said something about olive green
paint and I wondered what the hell she was talking about. I then
realized that she actually remembered how we had been picking through
the paint on the wall and found green and then complimented her on
her good memory. I also told her how I saw Amanda a few weeks ago and
she said that she knows which means they've been talking. I mentioned
Amanda's boyfriend who looks like a little boy and she laughed hard
and agreed perfectly!

I was also telling her about Georgia and the vacation we are
supposed to take up there pretty soon. She pretty much knows about
the area and would love to come along. We were talking about our
schooling as well and I was telling her how there is a doctor in Blue
Ridge who might be looking for a young assistant to take under his
wing. She is starting to be pessimistic about being a dentist and I
told her she can come be a nurse for me and she laughed. I then
changed it to she can be a partner and she liked that.

She had cheered up dramatically and she had said that I make her
laugh which is really good. She had said that she'll probably cry
about it when she goes to bed and has dead time just to think about
it. She then said that she doesn't like to cry in an extremely cute
little voice and I laughed and she said it a few more times. I
started laughing and told her that she could be in a no-tears shampoo
commercial and that was really funny. I ended our call although she
wanted to talk to me some more just because she has a habit of
sometimes cutting off our calls in midstream because of another call
and I didn't want to push my luck.

I did tell her if she needs to talk anymore to feel free to call
and she almost seemed surprised that I said that. She asked if I
meant it and then reminded me that I have volunteered if she does
start crying to me. It was cute. I told her I always play the
psychiatrist and then said it always good to take advantage of a girl
just after a break up and then we both laughed as I said I am just
being honest. That was a really cool talk.

I then tried calling Ashley again and she was home. She laughed
that she was thinking about me today and wondered if the bozo would
call or not and that she was going to wait for me to since my mom
says she calls too much! We laughed. She then told me what had
happened over the weekend. There is this big field out in Brandon
where all of the kids hang out on the weekends and on Friday night a
guy there pulled a gun and shot and killed one guy and injured two
others. The past was of the Martinez family who are extremely close
to Daniel Vargas' family so she was with them all weekend. Daniel is
on his way home as we spoke to attend the wake and the funeral with
her.

She then said that she has to do all of this and then go to
Jana's wedding this weekend. I told her to say hello to Laura for me
and to give my best to Jana and Jamey. She then told me that he mom
and Grandma are on a two week vacation to Hawaii and then her mom and
dad are going to play golf at Saddlebrook when she gets back. Must be
nice. She also told me that it was Daniel's little sister's
eighteenth birthday on Saturday as well which was basically ruined.
She also told me that she has heard of Erin Wilcox, but doesn't know
why, perhaps she also went to her church nativity. We talked a little
while longer before getting off the phone because I was getting tired
and have to go to work in the morning.

I've started having a wild time with Kristen. It started on
Saturday night at Chris' party which wasn't that great. I arrived
before he even did and the thing didn't start until an hour later
than it was supposed to. I helped them set up and met his two
Jamaican roommates, Francis and Ed. Some cool people started showing
up and I actually held a conversation with Debbie from Congo Rides.
I've known her since I worked at Flume and pooled at the bumper cars
once. That was cool. They finally brought a keg of Ice Draft and I
downed four small glasses pretty quickly. Kerri was there in a cool
black lace top and I talked to her for a few minutes. She brought her
sister and I asked for a show of animals which I got. It was quite
amusing. She has a dorky little boyfriend and I was extremely
unimpressed.

I had these two girls that were really cute try to get me to
join in and dance with them but I really wasn't in the mood. I also
kept talking to Karen all night which was cool. I also ran into her
on lunch in the breakroom and she talked to me about her and Ryan's
problems like I was her best friend or something. I am really glad I
brought her that one cup of ice water and get to know her before she
transferred to Congo because we probably would have never met then.

Finally Kristen showed up with her friend Julie form Beatty
Towers [snip]. She doesn't drink much if at all and also is
a people watcher who likes to hang out in a corner. I told her at
work today that I have only had a buzz once in my life and really
don't drink that much, if an effort to similarize myself to her. We
ended up joking around and hanging on each other, constantly
touching, all night long. I had a great time and made some perverted
jokes that she loved. They split at around midnight and I left about
fifteen minutes later after talking with Kevin and Mike for a few
minutes. I saw Dayanara once and she was with a guy but she gave me a
really surprised look when she figured out it was me.

Chris and I had partially been making fun of Kristen while we
were on the platform, although it was mainly him but I was laughing,
too. Fortunately I had an opportunity to make up with her as we were
both unloading for the last two hours. There were no supervisors
around and thus we played the entire time. It was cool because we
were doing so in front of people such as Lisa, Shannon's friend, and
Randy. I was making her laugh and crumple over hysterically quite
often and I liked that.

We were talking about sex quite often and it got extremely
interesting. The highlight of the evening was when we made a joke
about Ronnie and she said something about him joking about sex all of
the time. I asked if I didn't and she told me that I joke a lot
differently than Ronnie does implying that I am more mature and
probably sensuous about the way I do it. I told her that I got over
the phase he is in when I was in junior high and she liked that. I
joke around in a way that spotlights the girl I'm talking to and not
myself, and don't make it obvious that I'm hitting on them like he
does.

It partially started because I kept saying things that could be
taken completely seriously or extremely pervertedly and she learned
quick to do the later, sometimes to my surprise. It was amazing. She
then was trying to make baskets with the guests' basketballs, both
real and plush. She could make the soft ones in, but the hard ones
kept bouncing out. I commented that she's OK with the soft ones but
still needs practice with the hard ones and she loved that. I then
was explaining that sometimes even a hard one doesn't want to just
get tossed in right away, it too needs a little extra encouragement
and so forth. It was great!

At one point she was hugging one of the poles waiting for the
next coaster and looking at me really sensuously. I told her that
she's pretty affectionate with the pole and said it's because she
likes to hold on to things that are big referring to cuddling with a
guy rather than a penis but she took it wrong. We both really seemed
to be having a lot of fun. One of my favorite parts is that all of
this involves a lot of soft yet physical touching of each other and
we both are completely comfortable with doing so. We also will look
at each other extremely sensual and will sometimes have our faces
only inches apart. It's awesome!

She then got serious and was asking how much do I think she
actually knows. I told her that I don't know her that well but she's a
smart person and I know that I know she can figure a lot out on her
own. She then said that she can, but she still has a lot of
questions. I said that she can ask me anything she'd like whenever
she needs to and I'll try to explain them in terms of soft and hard
basketballs as best as possible, but she said not all things can be
explained with them......... I like her.

I also had a lot of fun hitting on Jennifer Sheppard on Sunday.
She just broke up with some guy but likes another who works on the
train. I was trying to convince her over to my side for a long time
and had her hanging all over me, too.

There was also the little girls today. One group of older ones
kept calling my name every time they went by and called me over to
the Bumper Cars' queue when I was walking to lunch. There was another
little group. One of the girls rode a few times before taking off her
shirt revealing her bikini top. I smiled and cheered and said how
happy I was because she was undressing and she laughed and told all
of her friends! Another of the little girls also complimented me on
my eyes!

And today was Cathleen's ninth birthday!!!

May 9, 1994 - Monday - Smile, Sarah & mom visit

Today sucked. It didn't really suck, I just wasn't really in the
mood to deal with the people I had to deal with, and wasn't on the
break schedule to deal with those that I wanted so badly to talk to.
I was rather upset when Shannon arrived and barely said hi and gave
me a peace sign and then disappeared into nowhere. I was then
replaced on height stick and later saw her talking to the guy out
there. My horrible mind thus thinks she avoided me out there so she
wouldn't have to talk to me. The problem was compounded later when
she unpleasantly talked to me out on boardwalk and so I left. I was
later sitting out at the wall daydreaming about Kristen lying on top
of me naked this fall in Gainesville when suddenly Shannon walked by
with a big smile and waved. I couldn't believe how a simple smile
could cheer me up so much, and also realized how horrible it would
have been had I seen her just walking by. I did get to talk to her up
at booth later on with Ronnie there as well.

So I concentrated a little bit more on Kristen. We joke around
whenever I see her but can still talk seriously which is a problem
Laura and I never solved. Chris and I were unloading and talking
about the women when I told him there's someone I'd do and pointed
into the line. Shannon was in there sweeping and he laughed and said
to get in line. He then pointed at Kristen in the booth and said that
there is someone he'd like to see more of. I agreed and said it'll be
cool together up in Gainesville. He said that if he could reserve
her, he'd be up in Gainesville all of the time and I laughed.

I wandered around boardwalk for a while later on and noticed
some really nice looking chicks in both the photo shop (Angie but I
don't know that yet) who looks like Marcella and in the gift shop.
They kept looking at me every time I walked by so I hope to meet them
soon. I also had the extreme pleasure of finishing up the day at the
river rapids with Kelly and some guy who talked to me the entire
time. That wasn't too bad and was a change of pace.

Continuing yesterday's thoughts: I was working across from
Briana and kept talking to her for a long time. Every once in a while
something funny would happen and we'd have a good laugh. Once she got
sick because this older hispanic was wearing a tight body suit half
way up her ass. It was great! There were this black woman who was
having trouble sitting in the seat correctly, since it designed for
the ease of a two year old, and we were desperately trying to get the
idiot to hold her arms up long enough to get the harness down. Jamey
(Elvis) was on button and he started making dramatic hand gestures to
make us hurry up. Since his is one of the slowest people there, I
looked right at him and yelled all the way across to the back of the
coaster for him not to start getting an attitude. I thought it was
hilarious.

That was right up when I noticed father and Chrissy in line for
they had come and finally bought season passes. I chatted with them
for a little while and Chrissy gave me a big hug right on the
platform.

Later on, as I was returning from the wall, I looked into the
crowd at all of the girls as I usually do and I saw these two eyes
that my mind instantly recognized as Sarah's! The rest of her looked
different until she looked up at me and yelled my name and then we
hugged each other long and hard and she was saying some bullshit
about it being so long since she's seen me. Her hair is a lot shorter
now which is why I didn't notice her right away. She then introduced
me to her mother!, her brother's girlfriend, and her little brother.
That was cool to meet some of her family and all. She told me that he
had gone up to Kumba to look for me and will find out Friday if she
gets to work there. She then said to give her a call sometime this
week and we all parted. That was quite interesting.

Kristen told me today that she'll be living in a triple this
year in Broward. Three people in a box!!! I told her that sucks and
there won't be any privacy whatsoever. She agreed and even said that
she can't stand one of the girls very much. I almost told her that
it'll be cool as everybody finds a boyfriend and starts staying at
their rooms, but I didn't want to imply anything that I could soon
suggest that she do with me.

March 14, 1994 - Monday - Reba with Ashley!!!!!!!!

This month is turning out to be rather eventful in the female category. It seems like I am able to build up a girl's lust for me and then place it in a limbo of sorts for later use. The only down side was the fact that I didn't get as far with Shar¡ as I thought I had wanted to. I did get some physical stuff from her which I am thankful for.

Then came Sarah whom I talked to a couple of times over the break. The first night we talked for over an hour and a half. We talked again for quite a while on Thursday night as well. She was talking about how she wants to come up a lo next year to visit and all and was asking where I'd be living. We also were saying how we are both looking forward to each other getting out of school for the summer which was cool. She'd trying for a job at the Kumba and we said how cool it would be if we ended up working together over the summer.

I was urging Christina to try and get a job in that area, too. There would be my direct access to Shar¡ for the summer. Christina and I also talked a lot about two of her friends, Tracy and Maria. She said both have little boys and are rather attractive. She was telling me what I would and wouldn't like about them and she seemed eager to introduce them to me over the summer. That'd be awesome! She joked once that she wouldn't introduce me to any more of her friends after what she did to me emotionally by introducing me to Shar¡. That was funny but I strongly encouraged her otherwise. She said Maria is really skinny and that's kind of a fantasy of mine. We'll see.....

I called Abby over the break and she returned my call later that night. I instantly recognized her voice and said her name. She seemed impressed. We ended up talking that night for four hours about everything possible from sex to religion. I confessed that I really should have gone out with her and was bringing up all of the good things that happened in high school to us and told her how I "really" felt back then. She asked me once if I have ever been in love and I stupidly told her the truth about Shar¡. She then said that she has twice, once she wasn't going to talk about because it was weird, and also with Trinity. She sounded solemn and I suddenly wondered if that other person had been me and I just told her about loving someone else. Whoops!

We soon overcame that and made a date for the next night. She kept mentioning how she was going to make pancakes for breakfast the next morning and I almost ended up going over but I was going to the beach so I didn't pursue it. When I got home we were looking for a movie to see and I said I was going to treat and she seemed really surprised and said that it is so rare to find a guy like that. I was tired and hot from sunburn and there were no good movies so I started thinking maybe we shouldn't go out. She was determined and we finally decided to go run around in the airport. That ended up being pretty fun. We then drove by the causeway and you could feel the tension between us. She asked me what I was thinking once, so I kissed her and we started our red light kissing game once again. We then went out to Publix and bought ice cream and ate it. We then started making out in the car and I only went as far as feeling her breasts. However, I think the point was made even after we hadn't talked in one and a half years, and maybe more will happen this summer.

I stopped by to visit father on the way home from the beach that day. He told me that Vicki was supposed to come in at five so we went to Burger King for lunch at four. Vicki is this girl who he has shown pictures of me to and he has always wanted me to meet her because she has big tits. She gave him a picture and she looks rather good. She ended up not coming in, though, so I'll have to wait to meet this one. He did give me the picture of her, though, and I have bragged that my dad is trying to set me up with this one and everybody thinks that is cool!

I was horny and also had a very evil ulterior motive upon my return to Gainesville. First, however came even more good clean fun. Ed and Roswitha showed up Saturday and we chatted. Roswitha looked rather nice with the bit of tan she did get. She had gotten four movie passes from her brother I think and they asked if I would like to go to a movie that night. I said sure and Roswitha called and found out what was playing. We opted for The Chase which ended up being an awesome movie and we all loved it. It was probably one of the best I have seen in a long time. Toys was cool for the props, Scent of a Woman was great, and the best of all time was The Crying Game!!! Roswitha really wants to see it but Ed won't let her and I joked that we'll rent it sometime if he won't. We all had a good time at the movies though which was cool. I felt extra special because they could have both gone twice but they broke up the second pair just for me.

I then had a dream last night that was really believable. Ed was in the kitchen cooking and I was in my bed reading the paper. Roswitha then came in and climbed in bed with me just to relax and we kept brushing against each other and finally started holding each other and kissing. It felt so real! I didn't wake up wither and the dream continued in other parts of the school where Roswitha would try and be with me whenever Ed wasn't looking. It was cool. Then tonight, they were getting ready to go study when all of the sudden Roswitha joked that she was going to stay with me and watched TV. She then got ready to walk out the door with her bookbag. I was eating. (Time to be careful... they just walked in the door!!!) I looked up at her remembering the dream and prayed that she would stay just for an awesome coincidence's sake. She suddenly turned back and did stay!!! It was awesome and I couldn't help but laugh about the whole thing!

I told Chris because he has had a similar dream about her before. What I have never told Chris is that I have had a similar dream about him and Marty. It was at the house in tampa and Chris was cooking in the kitchen. Marty and I were in the back bedroom and she was very mean tempered and was almost yelling at me to kiss her. I was just thinking about how controversial it would be if they were to read this anytime soon. That'd suck.

"You still have my heart in the palm of your hand, I still look like a fool in front of your friends. I wish somehow I didn't know now what I didn't know then." - just some country song playing right now.....

I had called Ashley Thursday night in Tampa but her mom said her cruise didn't return until Friday morning and my dad and I would be gone by then. She called me last night and asked what was up. I was in the middle of dinner and also on the phone with Leigh Anne at the time so I told her I'd call her back. Ed and Roswitha had showed up and the phone rang. I answered it but joked that it wouldn't be for me because I've just talked to the only two people who would be calling me. The phone rang again a few minutes later and Ed answered and it was indeed for me! It was Ashley again. She said she was going to run over to Fruit and Yogurt for a salad and asked if I'd come with her. She said that she was just going to drive over and come back but didn't want to go alone. I had just finished eating and said I'd go.

I told her, however, that I'd much rather walk. My only goal was to spend as much time as possible with her sop we could talk. SHe asked me if I realized that the place is all of the way over by the fitness center and I said yes, and said that the exercise would do us good. She quickly agreed and told me that if we walk she wants to eat over there and I'll have to watch her eat her salad and I didn't lie as I said that was perfectly fine.

I got ready and met her down in her room as planned. Laura was cooking her dinner and we said hello. She herself looked very good. Ashley looked awesome with her tan. She showed if off very well with flimsy white cotton shorts and a matching V-neck shirt!!! My favorite, especially when she would pull it out on various occasions during the evening which would give me a nice view because of my height. We chatted with Laura for a few minutes and then headed out. Just outside the dorm, she slid on something and came close to busting and we laughed that maybe walking wasn't such a good idea after all. I then took her by her shoulders to guide her.

We made it out to the restaurant across University Avenue and the little place was rather packed. There was a nice little table outside on the sidewalk that had just opened up and I went and got it for us. I even stood back to open the door for her as she arrived with her food. I made her wait for me to get the door back at Beaty and she says that she's just not use to a guy being nice enough to do hat anymore.

We had a very good talk all of the way over and all through dinner. She told me all about her cruise to Mexico and how she lost LAura and almost got stuck there. It was a funny story now that she looks back on it but she was scared shitless at the time. We were close to the O'Connell Center where Reba McEntire was having a concert with John Michael Montgomery and John Barry. They are all awesome! I had just heard about it on the radio earlier that day for the first time and thought that it would be cool to go. Ashley was saying how much she and Laura had wanted to go and we joked that we should go listen outside.

After Ashley had finished her dinner, she went inside for some yogurt and asked if I wanted any. I declined and she returned with fat free mint chocolate chip with fat free fudge brownie yogurt. She asked if I wanted to try it and I said no. She told me that she'd eat it on the walk home so I wouldn't have to wait any longer and I told her to sit down because it was a beautiful evening and neither one of us were in a rush. She agreed and hopped down.

This black fellow walked up and suddenly told us that he has two Reba tickets for five dollars a piece and we should really go because it would be great. We figured it was probably too late and said no. It quickly hit us what had just happened and we realized what an opportunity that we had just passed up. She didn't have enough money but I was more than happy to treat and say it was a birthday present. I called for him to come back and I don't know if he heard me but he was there again a few minutes later. I bought the tickets after he said they were pretty good seats and he then hopped right in a car and sped away. I thought that was odd, but for ten dollars for two Reba tickets, it was worth the risk.

She jumped up with her yogurt and we hurried over to the stadium. We were both extremely amazed at the chances of something like that happening to two people who wanted to go as much as we did. It was a chance in a million and we just couldn't get over how lucky we had been. She told me that if I hadn't said to wait while she ate her yogurt, then this wouldn't have ever happened. I later kept thinking to myself as I looked around at the full stadium that all those fools paid in excess of twenty five dollars a ticket and we got ours for five!!!!!

Our seats were indeed good, right in front of the speaker with an almost full view of the stage. We got to hear the last two songs of John Michael Montgomery, one by John Barry, and we saw Reba's entire set!!! For five dollars!!!!! We could never have planned it better if we had tried forever! It was the purest form of spontaneity which had given me a natural high. What an awesome way to impress Ashley!!! And I knew how much she's brag later, especially to Laura and that we be awesome, too.

We had an awesome time and that was definitely the best concert of my life. I recognized and liked all but one song and she even sung my favorite of hers, The Greatest Love I Knew. It was perfect. A lot of her songs are love songs about the other person doing you wrong and I pertained it to Shar¡ and she to Daniel and we talked about that the entire time. We would pretend to be upset and would put our arms around each other and I asked why do we keep doing this to ourselves. It was the funniest thing. We were laughing about the whole thing and I said at least we can joke about it all and she agreed immensely. It was just so fucking awesome!!!

I called her tonight to see if she wanted to study but she was still at chapter so I actually talked to Laura. Laura is pledging but got to come home early. Our conversation turned to Shar¡ and I told her that we weren't back together and Laura said that she thought we were. We eventually were talking about the party again and she mentioned again how I broke her heart. We mentioned a few other things about the possibilities of us going out and if she keeps it up I might actually begin to believe her! She was complimenting me a lot and she said that she missed how we used to work and sweat and bullshit together back at Busch. She also was swearing that she remembers now how there used to be two tall people in chemistry and she used to think we'd make a good couple. I laughed and said I couldn't date Emily because she was Catholic!!! So is Laura but I quickly changed that. I even had the opportunity to remember Laura's birthdate off the top of my head and she was impressed.

She said that she and Eric used to talk about me at Busch which is why he knows who I am, but she was being basically sarcastic. She was telling me how she never called either him or Ronnie back and they finally got the idea and quit bugging her. I complained like I had a stark realization that she never called me either, so she must hate me, too. Actually we had been arguing all along that it is the other person who never calls. It was funny. She told me if she didn't like me that I would definitely know it, because she does like me!!! That was interesting.

Ashley returned my call later and we chatted for a few minutes. She told me how she had gone to this awesome concert last night with this really nice guy she knows and had a really great time. I was amazed and told her I had gone, too, and that we should have gone together. It was the funniest thing, but we soon said goodbye because I was cooking. I owe that black fellow one.

Coming soon: the statistical marvel that not many a stud can even manage!!!!!

March 12, 1994 - Saturday - Here's the deal Shari...

Dear Shar¡,

OK friend, I'm going to let you in on a pattern in my life. I have always gotten a rush out of splitting up couples. It's a huge turn on and takes up a lot of my social time up here in Gainesville. I love to become friends with a girl who is in a relationship and then mentally, or sometimes physically, convince them that their man is worthless. I've done this so many times in the past few years it's not really funny.

I'll go in and just start talking to a girl making them believe I only want to be friends. I have always had good advice and am a good listener so the girls will tell me all of their problems without much convincing. I then start pointing out all of the bad aspects of the relationship while hiding the fact of what I am really trying to do. I never toot my own horn and try to make myself look better than the guy. I let the girl realize how right I am on her own and a lot of the times the girl will fall for me on her own. It's a lot of fun and I have become quite good at it.

I have quite a few impressive victories under my belt. There was a girl named Melissa my first year up here who was about four years older than me. She had been dating this guy very seriously for over three years and had just started having trouble when I met her. The girl was gorgeous and was getting ready to go to Yale on full scholarship! I felt like she was way out of my league but I was very eager to take the challenge. It took me a month but the rewards were cool and quite a few people were surprised that I accomplished that one.

There was this guy named Clint at Busch Gardens over the summer and we were pretty good friends. Christina knows him. Clit's gorgeous little girlfriend Sarah dropped by to see him at work one day and the fool introduced her to me. I immediately picked up on her and started ragging on him right in front of him. I did it in a way that he didn't really catch on and was laughing along with us. Nobody ever said he was smart. I then went on break and walked her out and gave her my phone number. The very next night I received my call and started convincing her to axe Clit it happened very easily. It was almost so easy that the fun was taken away along with the excitement. It also helped that I had just met you. Anyway Sarah wants to be a dentist and wanted to see Gainesville so she is the one I told you came up the weekend after you were here. Her two friends told me that all she kept saying on the drive up was how she was going to rape me when she got here. Unfortunately for her I was in love with you and for some reason didn't want a thing to do with her. She left very pissed and I didn't talk to her again until long after you an I broke up.

Leigh Anne... I finally told the neighbor why I had gone out with her a couple of days before Spring break. It was only because I had just been hurt by you and needed a close and convenient way to keep my mind off you so I wouldn't get depressed because exams were coming up. She was pissed. She was stupid though because she knew how much I cared about you because I used to talk to her about you almost every day when you and I were going out. And then she suddenly thought that I liked her only a week after you dumped me??? There's a nut for you! Back to subject. Not only was Leigh Anne close and convenient, but she had a boyfriend who lived with her in the dorm!!! there argued a lot and she used to slam the door and sit in the hallway. On one occasion I took her in a gave her a massage and almost fucked her the first night. You know what a good massage can do to someone, and hers was only about half of what you used to let me give you. Well, four days later, her boyfriend was gone and I was in......... IN HELL!!! But that's another story and you know it I think.

You have been the only girl that I have dated since eighth grade who didn't have a boyfriend when I fell for them. Or at least I don't think you did, you never seem to tell me these things (JEFF!!!!!).For some reason I think your looks made me think you were too good for me at the start and that set up the challenge. Once I got to know you I fell for you. I still can't tell you why I fell as much as I did and that's something I really wonder about a lot. It feels like I'll never find someone else that I will feel that strongly about which is why I still haven't entirely let go five months later. I think I'll always save a little place in my heart for you that would swallow you up if you ever give it the chance and will never allow me to hate you no matter what you do or say to me. That's also why I asked if you had gotten YOUR ring back. Even if I eventually get it back, I will always associate it with you and will never let another w

Back to topic. There was this girl named Abby in high school who "fell in love" with me after being friends with me for six months. She just told me this Wednesday night over Spring break but I had figured it out in high school. The girl used to skip her classes at the end of my senior year and come to mine and give me back massages!!! It was the funniest thing. I never was interested in her but I kept her around because she was useful. She finally figured this out and started dating some guy. When I came back from Gainesville that following Thanksgiving I figured their relationship had grown strong enough so I started picking it apart. I was screwing her in the ocean at Sand Key and at a park later that same night. We had sex one other time at Christmas but we called it off because I was too far away and her boyfriend was starting to get suspicious.

The bad part is, almost every one of my relationships have ended because one of the two people move away and we then couldn't handle the long distance. Most of the time it was me who was doing the leaving and it seems like every time I have to leave again, there is someone new I'll have to hurt in the process. I left my best friend Kim the first year and we would have ended up together had I not left. We have been friends now for a very long time and have decided that it is better left at just friends as not to take the chance of ruining our friendship.

I never felt more guilty in my life than the night I left you on your doorstep as I left for college. I was leaving one of the best things that had ever happened in my life and knew deep in my heart that leaving would cause the end of us. I just never had any one person that could make me so happy by just being with them. You wouldn't believe the relief I felt when you wrote that first letter telling me how you felt and I will never regret what happened as a result of that. But I still left, and that once again ruined something perfect in my life. Bummer.

AND NOW FOR THE POINT!!!!! I bet you didn't think there was one! You asked me on the phone if it upsets me when you talk about Jeff, and you have made some other references to that before. My life revolves around listening to girls talk about their lovers as you have seen so far. I want to know what is going on and I want to hear it from you, not from Christina. That way I can rise to the challenge and know who I am up against!!! (smile) That's also a part of being friends. I don't want to hear the edited version of your life just because you think I might get upset about something. That's bullshit! I am truly interested in everything that goes on in your life and more importantly I want to hear it from you, even if it's about the guy you're dating or whatever.

As for wanting you. Christina said that you told her that I don't understand that you just want us to be friends. That's fine with me, but until I hear it from YOUR mouth I will assume nothing. I view you as a prospect. A special prospect because we are already friends, but that's not my point. I will try to hit on you as much as any other girl I like, despite what has happened to us in the past. The present is the only thing that matters and I view you as a woman who is truly worth the time and effort. You also have a lover.... how exciting!!!!! J/K!!! I've started over concerning you and want to see where life will take me in that respect. If I am wrong in thinking this way, tell me so, if not, then tell me so...

We talked about this on the phone, but..... I just hope you aren't too mad at me for my bargaining over money with you for your Daytona trip. I just wanted to see how you would react when you would have to give up something important (Jeff's ring or sex to me). You held your ground and I was very impressed and gained a higher respect for you that I had never felt before. Perhaps you really do have a moral or two buried in that gorgeous little head of yours. J/K!!! Either that or you just find me so repulsive that sex is entirely out of the picture.

Had you said yes, I would have gone as far as gotten you undressed and turned on. I then planned on dropping the money on your chest or back and then I would have walked out... very disappointed. Also, there used to be a time when you knew me well enough to know I feel about sex. It's important but never important enough to ruin a friendship (or whatever we have) over. That's why I've done so so sparingly in my life. Sadly I blew all of my morals when I kept having sex with Leigh Anne. My only reason at the time was to be able to better please you if we ever got back together. I realize how much like bullshit that may sound, but it's really not... One final thing, I just wanted to thank you for what you did and didn't choose to do with me while I was down here. However, the shower wasn't as HOT as they used to be..... (frown).

Write me soon, if this doesn't warrant a response, I give up on figuring out what does! Take care sweetheart... and smoke a big one for me!

December 25, 1993 - Saturday - Shari's pictures, Shari!

Merry Christmas!!! Well, things worked out rather good today in the woman department. I had memorable rendezvous with at least four of the things throughout the day.

I woke up around eight thirty this morning and quickly helped the girls wake up mother so we could get things going. I didn't have all day because I had to be at work at noon. I took lots of pictures of Cathleen opening presents and soon ran out of film. That happened to be the same roll that Shar¡ and I used back in September when she came up for the weekend and I was kind of excited about finally being able to get them developed. I looked through last Sunday's newspaper to see if Eckerds was running a half price sale and indeed they were, and they were open today! So I ran over there at ten so I could pick them up an hour later before I went to work. I ended up dropping off copies of the Christmas pictures before heading off to Busch Gardens.

I spoke briefly with this food service girl named Kelly as I walked into Crown Colony. She's the one that Rich likes and whose house he was eating Christmas dinner at with an invitation from her parents. I soon found out that there had been some major call ins and started work early. Mark is this Italian guy who is really funny and I tried to match some of his joking today and was doing a pretty good job. There's this ugly girl in food service named Shari and it scared me a couple of times when people would say or call her name until I figured out what was going on. I thought I was going nuts for a second. Mark was joking with her that I like her and I was playing along that I like her right in front of the girl. I then was saying about all of the things I could do with the two gallon tubs of whipped cream they have in the back. It was funny and he and I joked around all day long.

I then got the balls to go talk to this nice looking long haired girl in food service who was finally exposed out at the cash register. We started talking and she has an awesome country accent and I fell in love immediately. She was awesome until I saw the engagement and wedding rings!!! Shit! That really sucked and I went and pouted to everybody.

I then got a lovely little phone call at the bar from Sarah over in the Stanleyville train station. We talked for about fifteen minutes before I told her I had to go so I didn't look too bad in front of the guests or supervisors for that matter. I did get her number and promised to call her back. We ended up talking back and forth all day long and decided to meet up after work at a gift shop in the front. I walked around impatiently for her until she finally showed and she didn't look at all like I had remembered. She definitely looks a lot better with a tan and sun bleached hair but who cares about being choosy... We met up with this girl named Destiny that was taking her home and hugged before realizing we were walking the same way. I had also put my earring in to show off and she noticed. It seemed like an effective encounter, although really quick.

I came home to an empty house and called out to Mema's where they all were. I then waited for them to bring home the leftovers from Christmas dinner. I had my Christmas dinner at work today which consisted of a lot of fresh carved turkey, stuffing, yams, corn, a roll, a drink and carrot cake. It was just like the meal I had on Thanksgiving day except this time it was free for the employees! That was cool. Claus and I got our lunches at the same time so we could take the long walk to where they were serving it.

At about a quarter to ten I answered the telephone and we all figured it would be Mema checking to make sure they got home. There was the same pause that she always does but then a girls voice said hello. I instantly thought it was Sarah. It wasn't until almost a whole sentence later that I realized it was Shar¡!!!!! SHe joked that she was just trying to be nice and call to say Merry Christmas and stuff and I as mean and asked her if that's not very easy for her to do. She then said that she has tried to call me a couple of times but I was at work. We only talked for a second because I actually told her I was getting my food ready to eat and I actually didn't drop everything and talk to Shar¡!!! What the hell am I thinking??!??

After I put my food in to cook the phone rang again and father ran deviously to answer it and joked that she didn't give me very long to eat. It was Ashley!!!! I was rather surprised by the call on Christmas but was extremely glad. She was very hoarse and asked if I knew who it was even after I seemed to recognize her voice from the very first instance, which I did. We both seemed rather glad to be talking to each other and we both had a lot to say. She told me about her brief weekend with Daniel and I then let her know who I talked to for the first time just a few minutes before she called. It was funny.

She wants me to stop by and see her the day I go and get my ring which is really cool. I then told her that my only day off is Tuesday and I'm planning on going with Laura to Busch on that day, and told her how she came by to say hello the other day. Ashley thought that was sweet of hr and then confessed that she hasn't talked to Laura since she dropped her off Thursday afternoon even though she lives just two minutes away! I told her I need to call her soon and she said to tell her hello and that she loves her. I then said no and told her that I'll tell her that I... and then realized what the hell I was saying and Ashley caught on really well. It was funny and Ashley seemed to actually push the idea rather than criticize me. That was some nice encouragement in a meaningless way. Maybe Laura likes me because they had to have talked about the idea... everybody talks...

Well, if Shar¡ could see some of the pictures I have of her now, she would shit!!!!!

December 24, 1993 - Friday - Kelly!, Kimmeth!, Sarah

Work is actually turning out to be pretty cool. It just seems to be getting better and better. I worked on the bar starting at noon and staying until closing. This guy named Matt was up there with me and he is the biggest faggot I have ever seen. He's pretty cool though and I've made it perfectly clear what my preferences are.

I was looking for attractive women all day long and actually saw a few today. I wore my glasses this time so I could get a clear view of the entire restaurant. There is this really cute tall and skinny girl with long straight auburn hair. I would normally call it light brown but I picked up the new color from the fag. I really like this girl and noticed her staring a lot at me from the gift shop where she works while I was walking around in grounds on Wednesday. I have been impressed ever since.

I bought a pizza later during a break and walked into the basement lounge and she and some hospitality guy were the only two people in the room. I sat facing away from her by the door so she couldn't watch me eat. I first ran off to the bathroom and started at her hard while I walked back in. The guy soon left and she then got up and washed her hands, arching her butt right at my face while doing so. She then ran off to the bathroom. I kind of wondered why she washed her hands in front of me if she was going to run off so quick to the restroom. She then came back and sat down. As soon as I was done, she got up and followed me out and headed towards the elevator until I turned for the stairs and along she came. I handed her the door and then held the door open for her upstairs and she and I both smiled and laughed as she told me she was still going up, but she did thank me. I walked into the office to sign back in from break only to see her walking back to her shop... why the fifteen second detour upstairs? Matt and I were talking about her later because he knows her. She walked by once and he called out to her and after a short exchange he called out something like, "I want you!" or something. I then said about half as loud, "I love you!" and he looked at me with a laugh. It was funny. He says she's really sweet. I'd really like to find out.

Later on there was a group of three really good looking girls that came and ate dinner at a table towards the far side of the bar and I kind of hung out there and stared for a long time. It wasn't crowded so it didn't matter. One girl was eating strawberry shortcake and I suddenly blurted out that there much better things to do with whipped cream than that. Matt looked at me really quick in surprise until he realized what I meant. I really think they could have heard me, and who cares because I kind of wanted them to! When it was time for me to go on break, I joked that I know exactly where I want to be on my break and hinted at that third empty chair. I then looked and flirted hard as I walked by their table repeatedly. It was fun.

I had quite a bit of fun with Kelly, too. We stop to talk to each other all of the time and we both seem to give each other these awesome love me puppy dog faces. Mine are perfect and it's kind of funny. We have a really good time talking, too. Yesterday we had a really good time because this forty year old guy just stayed and talked to her forever after she served him his beer. It was really obvious that he was in some perverted way trying to hit on her and I told her after he left. She thought that was really funny and said that she doesn't pick up on things like that and then I was mocking what he had said and we were laughing really hard.

We also joke around with each other a lot and I'm always really talkative when she comes around. For some reason we were talking about dating and she told me that she hasn't been on a date since August. I acted surprised and told her that we'll have to go on one before I leave and she said that she'd really like to. I suggested dinner and she said that sounds good, she eats dinner! I then added my own sarcasm and said that's great because I like to eat dinner, too, and it's so hard to find people that do nowadays. I then asked what she likes better, Burger King of McDonalds, and then remembered she likes Kentucky Fried Chicken! It was funny but I would like to go out with her once and maybe write letters or something. Cool!

I called Sarah on my break for a few minutes and again later tonight but we only talked for a little while. It seems so much like she doesn't give half a shit most for the time but then she'll do something good like call me a bunch long distance or a bunch of times down here. I don't know.

Kimmeth called me last night!!! I'm kind of glad she put of coming home right now because I don't think I'm quite ready for her yet. We talked a long time about things and I let her in a little more on Shar¡ and she seemed very wise and picked up things about Shar¡ very intuitively which impressed me immensely, seriously. I was really glad to talk to her. Her psychic told her that she has a year before she'll want a definite commitment and I joked once again that she can date around for a year and then we'll have to get together. She laughed and then asked me what about myself, for she had a dream about Tobin screwing every girl in Fort LAuderdale and then remembered it stemmed from something I told her. I then said that I'll finish up everything between now and then and she liked that. She also got my Kim Exposed card from Spencers and said that she really liked it and it worked very effectively because the way she ripped it opened, the title was the first thing she saw and it scared her for a second. Cute.

December 23, 1993 - Wednesday - Impressing Kelly Bo Peep

Well, work is cool. It's kind of an easy and very relaxed job and I'm not the least bit upset that I didn't get the rides or other grounds area. Actually I think this is probably the best place to work during the winter because it's mostly indoors. The only bad part is the fact that there aren't too many girls coming through to flirt with. On my first day I worked in grounds and met everybody. I worked along with this guy named Claus who is a Puerto Rican born German. He's just as tall as I am and we got a lot of attention because of that, much more than if we had come in by ourselves. It was funny. He's a pre dental student at the University of Tampa. We got along really well and were both looking for women and flirting with anything we could find.


One supervisor is named Kelly, a decent and very nice blonde, but I noticed an engagement ring right away. I then met this rather teacher looking girl and noticed no ring. I kind of gathered that she is pretty silly if she is old, but cool if she is young. Claus and I talked about her age for a second so I decided to go in and ask her while she was working at the bar. She looked up at me and to start conversation asked me how old I am!!! That scared me. It turns out that she is eighteen and I like that a lot. Her name is Kelly.

One part time supervisor is named Rich and he is pretty cool. He's a little guy from the deep swamp in Louisiana. We get along really well and talked all about Mardi Gras. He was there last year and I joked that I remembered seeing him there! Claus and I walked into the office once and Rich explained that they've been having Christmas parties in the Crown Colony after the park closes and asked either one of us if we wanted to work. I gladly volunteered for the hours and told them I wanted to work as much as possible since I'm only here for two weeks and this is my food money for next semester. They then explained that all we'll do is rearrange the tables and chairs and then hide for about five hours until the party is over when we have to put the furniture back in its proper place. There is a really nice VIP room where we get to hang out. Rich also said that the Crown Colony workers are probably the most pampered employees in the park with the exception of those in the Hospitality House. I now fully agree.

I started talking to Kelly a lot. Her nickname is Bo Peep. We started getting along really well and she latched onto me not after too long. Most of the girls in our area are goody goodies and she is no exception. We had a lot of fun running around, though.

We then had to actually do a little work in preparation for the party for about an hour. I used it as an opportunity to exercise and to show off a little. They have these curtains and poles that you have to assemble into a shadow box covering the food service. Rich, Kelly, some girl from grounds, and I all stayed. The little people usually have a hell of a time putting up the shadow box but I was able to reach it with ease and they were very impressed. By the end of the night I had impressed Kelly a hell of a lot and I really loved the attention.

We flipped tables and moved chairs. They all can only handle two at a time so I decided to test my strength and size by caring four at a time. I made sure to walk in front of them so they could both see. There were some security guards walking around that complimented me. The next day there was a big group of people in the office and we were talking about the night function and Rich told them that he wanted to keep me because I did a damn good job. He then actually bragged about me and how I carried four chairs at a time all night long!!!!! That was awesome and was exactly the attention I was out to get.

Early in the day I had joked with Kelly by asking her when she is going to take me to dinner. I picked up the line from Chris in Gainesville. Well, she went out and got Burger King for us to eat while we hung out in the VIP room. We then called people on the telephone and also watched the party. Kelly and I were leaning right on each other as we peeked around the shadow box. There were some awesome girls there that I was looking at rather intensely.

The next day I flirted a lot with Kelly again. We had to start preparing for another night function on Sunday night as well and they definitely wanted me to stay and help them. She kept running up to help me flip tables. When she told me that she wanted to help me, I acted all surprised and happy. She laughed and said that she is my Christmas present then and I smiled and said that she is what I always wanted. We then put our arms around each other for a second. That was great!

I was also trained on the bar that day. Rich was supposed to do it, but Kelly ran to take over. I impressed her once again by tapping perfect cupfuls of beer right from the start and by poring multiple beers without stopping the fountain. She really liked that. She also was amazed by the spiel I gave the first person I reminded that they are limited to two beers a day. I guess she forgot that I have worked at Busch before and now how to be courteous but get my point across. She said that I sounded exactly likes she would have done it. I like her.

I talked to Sarah on Monday and Tuesday repeatedly all day long both days.

Shar¡ called my house today while I was at work. At least she's making an effort...

December 13, 1993 - Monday - Last fling w/ Leigh Anne

I've actually had a pretty eventful day, despite the disappointing setback of my car not working worth a shit. I slept over at Leigh Anne's last night and yes we had sex again. We had sex the night before as well for the first time since that Monday night when I dumped her. Marty was with with Chris for the weekend which is why I went with Leigh Anne, otherwise I would have been alone, like I will be tonight. Michelle walked in on us last night while we were having sex and Leigh Anne made a big deal out of it. I just rolled over since I was letting her do all of the work anyway and started to go to sleep. After Michelle settled in up on the top bunk, she went at it again. I decided to take advantage of the situation and asked her to finish a blow job she had started. I have never orgasmed into anyone's mouth before and have always really wanted to.

She was really unsure about being able to do so but I moved my hips to help myself out and after a while I did come inside her mouth and the feel of her sucking the come out of my dick was pure bliss!!! That felt awesome. It's a shame it had to be with her. Sometimes through the night I tried to picture that I was lying with Shar¡ but I just couldn't even though it was dark, there are just too many physical differences as well. It's weird, but it's almost as if Shar¡ is less dense than Leigh Anne, if that makes any sense. It's like Leigh Anne's aura is absorbing the life out of me while Shar¡ was filling me full.

I didn't wake up until 12:30 when I quickly split to run the day's errands. Jon wanted to come with Chris and I. Cecil was over and we dropped him off at an exam before heading over to check out my car. The problems seem to be deeper than just the battery now which sucks! We then headed to Wal Mart where I bought Christmas cards for Kimmeth, Carey Ann and Mema. I received two cards in the mail today before we left, one from Carey Ann and one from Mema with five dollars inside to buy snacks for exam week. I thought that was really funny because I complained sarcastically to my mom the other day that both Laura and Ashley's parents love them enough to send them baskets, but mine don't. I know that my mom ended up telling Mema that which is why she sent me money. I thought that was really sweet and my mom agreed tonight that it really happened that way and Mema didn't tell her that she sent the card until after she had already mailed it. carey Ann's card was really sweet and told me how she thinks constantly about our fun summer together and so forth.

We then went to Publix and bought a dozen glazed doughnuts. Chris and I picked out three additional fifty cent a piece doughnuts and she gave them to us for free. She was fat and we joked that she gave them to us because we flirted with her. The cashier was gorgeous, however, and I really enjoyed looking at her. We then headed home only to find a message on the answering machine! It was for me!!! It was my beautiful Sarah, and I thought she had forgotten about me! Thank God she hasn't! I didn't ever return her call today, though, but I will really soon. I also called Shands Hospital and made an interview appointment for the spring semester to be a cuddler for infants and small children. That should be fun.

Chris, Jon and I later headed out to the mall to do a little Christmas shopping and had a good time. I suggested that we stop by and pick up Cecil which we did. We ran all over the mall and had fun and found so much stuff to buy. I found this awesome semi-pornographic card that is personalized with Kim's name that she ought to love. I'll remind her of how much she bragged about going to the male strip club that time. I hope she likes it. I also bought a little black mouse.

I made spaghetti tonight and even gave some to Leigh Anne. It was delicious and we also made twisty bread sticks that came out really well. I ran downstairs with a small plate of hamburger after I browned it to give to Laura and they all thought that was pretty funny. I also had I called home to tell them about my car predicament and to brag about how good my spaghetti was. My mom told me that Shar¡ called the other day and Chrissy talked to her. She said that she wanted(or needs???) to talk to me! She thought that I would be home by then and my sister told her I'd be another week. That would explain why she didn't write to me... I'm really scared right now...

December 1, 1993 - Wednesday - Sarah: twice in two!!!

I didn't bother to wake up for biology this morning because I was really tired. Ashley called early to tell me that she wasn't going either, but had to move her car again. She would have wanted me to go with her if I had actually gotten ready, but oh well. Speaking of Ashley, I remember the other night in her room, she finally admitted to everybody that she called me up here from a Seven Eleven down in Brandon one Saturday night. It was pretty funny. She was saying that she got a lot of answering machines before calling me back. I cried that she just picked me because nobody else was home and she said that, on the contrary, I was one of the first people she called but nobody answered! Boy did I feel special!

I dressed up kind of nicely today and donned my glasses as I entered my German class today. I said good morning to Noel who was sitting in the front and stopped to talk to him for a minute. I leant against the teacher's table without any fear of being in front of the class, actually I sometimes like that. There was this really attractive blonde in the back who isn't in the class, just visiting a friend. She asked the girl if I was her teacher and I just found it funny that someone would even mistake little just-turned-nineteen year old me as a teacher. I then enjoyed a really fun talk with Karen and was actually a little perverted with her. She was asking me what kind of doctor I want to be and I said that I'm not sure, maybe an obstetrician. She was surprised that she had wanted to do the same thing at one time until she found out that you must be a gynecologist as well for that field. I was surprised and told her I didn't mind.

We were also joking that someday she'll be the head of a group of doctors, and I'll just be the guy that pushes around the cardiopulmonary resuscitator machine. She laughed and joked at how she'll be the one slapping me around to work harder and faster. I then said that someday I'll advance to a surgeon in her group, and then one day she'll get sick and will be under my knife and I'll remember all of the abuse. We laughed a lot about that nd joked around quite a bit more. Afterwards I walked her to class and told her (bragged!) about the problems that accumulated over the weekend and she was one of the most receptive people that I have told it to. She had already told me in class about how she has a boyfriend and seems dedicated so I didn't mind if I killed any possible interest between us, since it's probably made up in my head. That will probably make our friendship better because she'll know that the interest in her isn't physical, necessarily.

I also told her how I just dumped my girlfriend and she exclaimed that she didn't know I had one!!! I explained to her how I've been dating my next door neighbor for a month since just after I got my letter from Shar¡. She asked if that's the girl she always sees me walking with and I said I don't think so, that's Ashley. She then said that she's just being nosy but I don;t care or mind at all, I actually invite her to be. Today was AIDS awareness day and they set up a tent with a lot of educational displays inside and were having a rally out on the Plaza where all of the alternative freaks hang out. A thought suddenly transgressed through my mind: AIDS ===> sex ===> safe sex ===> condoms ===> free condoms!!! So I headed over and sure enough there were baskets full of free condoms and I grabbed a handful of five and a little red ribbon, to safe face, which I threw away when I was out of eyesight of the ordeal.

I saw a rather attractive girl there and realized that a lot of those hippie freaks are rather attractive and carefree and it might possibly be easy to have sex with them. Hmmm. I want to tell Shar¡ someday that after she left me, I just started fucking for fun, and want to tell her that I don't like it much when I don't care about the person, which is why I want her back so bad. Well, the Plaza, might be a cool way to pick up some chicks. We'll see.

I was sitting in the kitchen talking to Chris later on about girls and had brought up Sarah in our conversation and was telling him a lot of the promising things we told each other last night. He was kind of impressed and I can't wait to show him the pictures of her on Friday. While we were talking, she called!!!!! It took me a few seconds to figure out who it was because she was the last person I expected to call. It was awesome to get two long distance phone calls two days in a row!!!, when there wasn't really anything important to talk about! It was entirely social on her part and I loved that. I went into my room and we talked for forty-five minutes until her mom came home with groceries and she had to go help her. When she got back to the phone, she called me "Hon" and asked me if I'll call her Sunday night, and I said yes, of course.

She was packing for a leadership program in Orlando for HOSA during which she'll be running for state historian. She's local historian at her school. We were being really sweet to each other and were saying how much we like talking top each other. I told her that she made my day by calling and then we talked about each other's day. I told her about my little condom excursion and she laughed and called me a typical male. She has been sick recently and has only been to school about four days of the last three weeks and is really far behind. She said her day was really stressful and on top of that, she dropped her books in the hallway and was really embarrassed.

I was wondering today what her middle name is and I asked her tonight. She said that she isn't going to tell me because hardly anybody knows, not even her little brother. She says that the people who do know always make fun of her and I promised not to, asking when I ever make fun of her. She asked mine and I told her. She finally told me that it is Holm, and explained that it was the maiden name of one of her mother's best friends. Sarah was born on this woman's birthday as well. She is named after her grandmother on her mom's side as well. She then told me that she did mail me my pictures this morning but didn't get a chance to write anything on them!!! That's cool and I made a big deal out of it to her. It's funny how I can show my excitement so easily to her and actually tell her some of my ulterior motives in reference to her. I've never been able to tell a girl stuff like that before.

For example: we started talking about how we met on the first day. It had rained and she said that for the first time in her life, some drunk guy said, "Nice headlights!' and she actually thanked him!!! She didn't realize what he meant and had to ask Amanda and was really embarrassed when she found out the guy was talking about her nipples! I then brought up how I went and got her popcorn that day and she remembered that well and started laughing! She said that she thought I had gotten that for her friend, and I said no that I was actually trying to figure out how to try and hit on her, but I couldn't say that then because it might have gotten to Clint and come back to haunt me. She said that it was really good popcorn and I said that it was the best that I could do since I was working and didn't have many options available to me. It was a really cool conversation. I then told her how I didn't think she'd call back that first time when I gave her my phone number and so on.

At the beginning I exclaimed that I thought I was supposed to call her back, and she said that she wanted to do so first!!! That was cool, too. She also told me how she hasn't completely told this guy in the Navy that she's dumping him but she knows for sure that she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore, she doesn't write to him or call him. He can't call her because his superior officers won't let him. She just asked me what a good way would be to get rid of him for good, nicely. I told her to tell him that she's a lesbian and she joked that she is! I then told her to hurt him good because that will teach him to be a little more careful in future references. my advice ended up being really good I think.

Well, once again we had a beautiful talk over the phone and I'm convinced more than ever that the hopes for the two of us are very strong. My group of fab four from the summer seem to be jumping back into my life right now stronger than ever: Shar¡, Sarah, Carey Ann, and Laura!!! Those few days of work at Busch Gardens impacted my life so strongly that it often amazes me, even more the longer and stronger the relationships get!

Kostas called Dave a little while ago down in Tampa and told him that I'm working on girlfriend number three!!! and was bragging a lot about me. He was saying that I'm the man nowadays and am getting all of the women. He also told Dave how I viscously and ruthlessly destroyed the next door neighbor, despite the sex! He then told him that I told Leigh Anne that I never meant anything that I told her and that everything was physical, and I don't need her anymore. He was doing a lot to glamorize my situation and did a damn good job. I felt proud and was loving every second of the attention. Go me. At least now I can be happy again!!! Even without Shar¡, either Kimmeth or Sarah can make me so happy right now!!!

November 30, 1993 - Tuesday - Leigh Anne on her ass!!!

I finally consented to having sex again with Leigh Anne but I made her do all of the work. I sat in a chair while she gave me a long blow job and sucked my balls into her mouth. She told me that she never used to like putting a guys penis in her mouth but for some reason she loves doing it to me! I still felt like shit for having such low willpower that I didn't dump her on her ass Sunday night like I so much wanted to. I then dreamt about Shar¡ and was restless all night long. It's so weird how I'll dream a conversation that I know is coming and how exactly my mind perceives what will happen. I then couldn't get Shar¡ out of my mind all day long, not that I wanted to though.

But Leigh Anne had promised that she would stay by my side through this whole deal because she loves me so much and would never walk out on me like she would have in the old days. She did tell me that throughout the night she kept wanting to kill Shar¡ for trying to screw up OUR lives. She even surprised me with a single wrapped rose! That was a really sweet and unexpected gesture. I then was being really nice to her after she got home from a little religion seminar and was hanging out with her in her room and talking with all of her roommates. I was especially talking to Michelle, for she has her Phi Eta Sigma inductions Wednesday night and I'd like to go with her, explaining that I might meet up with Greta again! Michelle said that Leigh Anne would probably come with us if I went, though. We also looked at yearbooks and I was picking out attractive girls from Leigh Anne's senior class, and letting her tell me if my taste was good or bad.

Cecil then knocked on the door since nobody was in my room and I went home with him to tell him all about my weekend and about Shar¡. There was even a message that Sarah from Tampa had called!!! We had played phone tag all weekend and still haven't gotten a hold of one another. After Cecil and I had talked for a while, Leigh Anne called me and bitched about when I was coming back and why I had left her for so long. I told her in a few minutes. Ashley then called and was all excited about a dance that Laura and Jana had made up so Cecil and I headed down to their room. We all talked and had a merry time for about an hour. We were all being really silly and I was trying to hit on Laura a bit. Ashley really seemed to be hanging all over me and some pretty raunchy jokes were exchanged. It was a lot of fun. We even all inspected a bottle of tequila but nobody was willing to drink any of it. It had been Jamee's when he came down for Gator Growl.

Jana and Laura were in their pajamas and were kind of embarrassed about doing their dance in front of a stranger, but we eventually convinced them to. It was a really funny portrayal of The Twelve Days of Christmas. They were proud about wiggling their tongues outside of their mouths as they walked around like birds (French hens!). It was really funny and Ashley was standing on the fouton behind me hiding her head on my shoulder because we were laughing so hard. It was great, but Cecil kind of thinks they're strange. Ashley and I decided to get up at seven thirty this morning and go park her car out in the garage and then find out our biology exam scores. We said goodbye and then headed back upstairs where Cecil and I talked for a while more.

Leigh Anne stopped by and seemed pissed since I had been gone for an hour and a half when I said I'd be right over and said we needed to talk. Cecil offered to go apologize to her and say that it was his fault but I told him not to, and he soon took off to go study. Leigh Anne then came over and bitched at me. I told her that I hadn't planned on being long and she asked why I didn't call. I said I don't know her phone number and didn't really find it that important! I had warned her the night before not to fuck with me so soon after my talk with Shar¡, but she did anyway. So I dumped her. I tried to hurt her as hard as I could without making it look like I ever did anything wrong! I told Chris what all was said afterwards, because he was on the phone with Marty, and he was shocked at how mean I was and said that he has never even come close to being as harsh as I was to that girl, but if I was going to do it to somebody, she's was the best one for it.

I thought it was cool because I have never dumped anyone before, I have always been the dumpee, so I was out to destroy her. It was also really sudden for her.... ha ha!!! She also really pissed me off by saying that she is hurt that I run around bragging to everybody about getting Shar¡ pregnant like I am proud of it. I quickly made her feel lie shit when I told her only she, Cecil, Chris, and Ashley even know. She was surprised that I hadn't even told Jon. I bitched her out that I wasn't going to stop my friendships for her or anyone. She also said once that she doesn't understand because she gave me everything emotionally and physically that she could, and even would have raised the little shithead with me, saying she has to love it because it's part me. Well that pissed me off and I told her that she just ended any hope of us ever getting back together by saying that.

She cried the whole time and kept trying to hold me but I pushed her away. She was playing with a little noisemaker and I knew she'd eventually throw it at me, so I was ready when she did. She then tried to start hitting and scratching me so I threw her down into a chair pretty forcefully and then left her there by herself. She later decided that she wasn't going to give up this easily and wasn't going to leave me because she knows I really need her to be with me right now. She then climbed into my bed. I then pulled out the big guns and told her that I still love Shar¡ and would go back to her in a heartbeat even I she's not pregnant. That worked marvelously!!!!! Chris told me later that she came crying to him out in the stairway where he was on the phone and wanted to talk to him.

She eventually opened our door again and wanted to talk. I agreed but pointed out the door as she tried to walk in and made her talk out in the hallway. I told her there are no more chances for us and kind of let her think it was her fault for sparking me off by bitching. She was then saying that she'd forgive me if only I wouldn't give up on us, because this is the best thing that's happened to her in a long time and so on. She slowly was moving toward me to try and kiss me and get me back so I hurt her again and as she rolled against the wall, crying, I grabbed her blanket and pillows from inside the room and dropped them at her feet. I then walked back into my room for good!!! I was so proud of myself!!! I finally stuck up for myself. I want to tell Shar¡ that I dumped the girl I was dating and stopped having sex as soon as she scared me on my birthday... and now I can.

I then let Jon in on the whole weekend and later talked to Chris about it. Now I might just play confessor to Ashley and Laura by saying that I've made mistakes and want to make my life good again and so on. I might still be able to make amends and get Laura yet!!! It also felt so awesome to sleep alone again, spread out across my bed. It used to feel so good sleeping with Shar¡, but I compared Leigh Anne to having to share a bed with Ed to Chris earlier today and we laughed.

I did run out with Ashley early this morning and we stopped for our grades. I pulled out an awesome 164 out of 200!!! That pulled my compiled scores to higher than Ashley's and rather high compared to the majority of the class. I saved my ass!!!



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I had just finished dinner a little while ago as Jeopardy ended and was washing the dishes I had used when the phone rang. I was afraid it might be Leigh Anne again so I planned on making it quick. To my surprise, it was Sarah!!! I instantly recognized her voice and we started catching up on things right away. She was sorry that she didn't get to talk to me at home but she was in Ocala over the weekend. Just the fact that she was talking to me long distance proved to me she cares. Well, we ended up having an awesome talk and she seems to think about me so much more than I would have thought.

I told her about my weekend including my little illegal ID deal at Busch Gardens, and the story of my trip up to Gainesville for the football game. She was really impressed that I had front row tickets. I told her about my birthday being Wednesday and she said that she was sorry and hoped it was a good one. I told her not to be sorry because I really didn't tell her and she agreed that I did only say so once. Her birthday is July 29th, a day after Chrissy's. She asked me when I am coming home next and I told her the 17th. She said that is the same day she gets out of school and that we'll definitely have to see each other this time around. She got a job at Busch Gardens as well through school and put in for operations but doesn't know what she's got yet. That'll be really cool if we work together over the break.

She then told me that I'll have a letter waiting for me when I get home for Christmas. I asked how, and she said that her mother ran my phone number through the police department's computer and got my address!!! She also tried to do it for my address up here in Gainesville, but it doesn't work out of county. We talked about our ages for a few minutes and I let her know that I think the difference between ours is really minimal. I told her how much older she looked the last time I saw her,a nd she excitedly told me that she looks a lot different now! I was afraid for a second that she was going to say she cut it, or colored it, but she quickly told me that it's getting long and straight. I told her that's really good and she wants to send me pictures and was going to mail them with my letter. I gave her my address up here and told her to still mail the letter home, but mail the pictures up here.

Well, she said she'll put some awesome pictures of her in the mail tomorrow morning before school so I'll get them by the end of the week. I told her I'll pin them up and show them off to everybody to make all of the girls up here jealous and she liked that. I then told her how I had been dating this girl and how I dumped her just last night. She remembers meeting the neighbors and wanted to know which one. She even remembers Ed as being the guy that lives with his girlfriend and rides a bike. I was very impressed and told her so. Well, I explained that I know I don't want to spend my life with this girl and instead of wasting both her and my time, I got rid of her. I told her how harsh I was, and also how it was the first time I've ever done the dumping. I then joked that I shouldn't be telling her this (because I'd hate for her to think I'm this way if we ever go out) and she got the idea and we laughed.

We also talked about school and what she wants to do after high school and how our classes and stuff are right now. I asked her about volleyball and she said they kicked ass this season, losing only two games, but she stopped running cross country. We also asked each other where we live, and she lives in North Tampa pretty close to USF off of Bruce B. Downs Ave. We talked about her little visit up here before and she apologized again for acting the way she did when she was here.

I then regressed further as we talked about the day we first met. She said that she really looked like crap that day, and I said that she actually looked pretty cute. I was saying how I was standing out in front of the Python in the rain when I met her, and I remember her in a white shirt. It was funny. I then told her how funny it is that the last time I saw her was only the second time we had ever seen each other, but we talk on the phone like we've known each other forever. It's really cool yet pretty weird and she fully agrees. She told me how she herself had been dating some guy from the Navy recently who started getting way too possessive who wanted to marry her. She said that she tore at his heart and she ruthlessly dumped him and I see it really good that we have told each other and both made it clear that we are single now!!!

She is going on a trip to Europe over the summer and I suddenly complained that I won't get to see her and how Tampa just won't be the same. I justified myself that it's fun to kiss ass and that was funny. She then relieved me by saying it will only be for nineteen days and then I'll have her back!!! Hurrah!!! Her mom came in the room and Sarah told her that it was me and her mom said hello to me!!! That was pretty cool, too! She also complained that she has a pretty big phone bill, and a lot of it is from that sailor guy. We agreed that it sucks to have to pay for a phone bill once you know a relationship is over for good. She also was asking me if I know for sure that Leigh Anne and I won't be getting back together and I said that is definite! I liked the concern she showed!!!

After I had given her my address up here earlier, I said, "All right...," like it might be time to go and she told me that I'm not going to leave her yet! that was cool as she told me that she still wants to talk to me for a while. I told her that she shouldn't talk to me for so long if she is broke and worried about her phone bill and she quickly told me that it's very OK, especially when it's me she's talking to!!! She then said she's sorry and I asked why!, and said that we're actually complimenting each other and then apologizing for it. We laughed a lot and she said that sometimes people just don't like such compliments. Hell yes I do!!! She was thinking about when she was going to call me back again, and I told her that I will call her and she was kind of surprised and really happy to hear me say so. I think this can definitely be good! I just must be dead careful not to get her pregnant because of age...

When I got off the phone, Chris had gotten all excited that I was talking to Sarah, for he remembered her as the gorgeous sixteen year old. Jon was there and Cecil started giving me all kinds of compliments about how I have all of the girls nowadays and have become the big stud. He said he idolizes me and wanted to kiss my hand after bowing to me. He was being completely serious about what he was saying though. It really is quite impressive, I guess, and I am glad to have all of the attention. Poor Dave.

September 11, 1993 - Saturday - Screwy weekend!, Sarah!

I've had one majorly fucked up weekend and I only wish there was a way to let Shar¡ know how much she's changed me for the better! I actually had to exert an effort today not to have sex with a gorgeous girl because she more than wanted to try...

Anyway, Ed's parents came up to Micanopy last night for a personal camping trip and to drop off the television!!! That was awesome!!! We all stayed home and watched a James Bond movie to celebrate. Afterwards, I pulled out my home video of Shar¡ and popped it in the player. I waited until Jon, Ed, and Roswitha had gone out of the room to start playing it. I didn't want it to look like I wanted to show her off even though I was planning on it. Of course they were all back in the room watching it a couple seconds later on their own doing. It was awesome to see that video again and to hear us talking on our first `official' night. I call it that because it was really the first time that we ever made out for any extended amount of time. Like I said yesterday, it was also the night that Shar¡ passed Kimmeth in my heart although I didn't know that to be the case for a few more days.

After Ed and Roswitha had headed over to her place, I watched the video over an dover again for a while. I then used the bathroom and the phone rang while I was. Jon got up to answer it and I had him tell the person to call back in five. He said he thought it was Shar¡. It turned out to be Laura which was rather interesting. She said that she had a big favor to ask me but I turned the conversation over to a personal nature. One of the first things she said is that she heard I have a girlfriend now. I quickly told her that after I got rejected by her, I had to turn to someone else. I then refreshed her memory that it was the girl at the party and the one I met the day we were supposed to go to Despaparados. She argued that she didn't reject me and we started into a pretty serious talk where she eventually said that she would have gone out with me if I had only asked. I made her realize that I had been being nice for a reason all of those times and it was quite funny.

What I keep asking myself over and over is why the girls always come at once!!! Ed told me that you don't even have to tell a girl, but if she can smell a girlfriend on your skin, then it'll make her want you more. Chris and I have said that it excites some girls and poses a challenge that makes them realize that the competition is there and they'll want you even more. I guess it just has a lot to do with fate. I've had to make a lot of decisions in the past couple of months and every single one of them has been for Shar¡. I'm nit sure what it is about her but it's got me.

Laura wanted to borrow my blender and I said of course. She came up with Ashley, Jessica, and some goofy little guy friend of theirs. I had changed my clothes and looked pretty nice when they came in. Laura asked me to come along but I said that I needed to get some rest because Clint's ex-girlfriend was coming up today. We kind of had a little talk about that, too. I greeted Ashley very nicely because I was really glad to see her. They all came in and checked out our new bar and to talk for a few minutes. Laura and I still tell each other that we love each other and were standing there with an arm wrapped around each other. It was kind of funny in front of Ashley. I asked Ashley if she had gotten her letter from Daniel which was kind of mean. She frowned and then pushed her way past Laura and we hugged and she put her head on my shoulder. We said that we'd be there for each other and I told her that we can even hold hands! That was pretty funny in front of Laura.

Laura ended up back under my arm and before they left Ashley stuck her hand out at me and told me that she wanted me to hold it!!! That was pretty awesome! I'll tell her next time that I feel guilty about having unprotected sex with her and we'll laugh about that. I had never been happier to have stayed home on a Friday night after that little interlude, though.

Well, Sarah called this morning at eleven. I had cleaned up the rooms and made the place look really nice. They ended up making it over by noon and I went downstairs to let them in. When I saw Sarah I was amazed because she looked taller and much prettier than I had remembered. Amanda was there with her boyfriend, this big country fraternity guy with a scruff beard. He ended up being really cool, though. We all went upstairs and thankfully there were no roommates at the time. We talked for a few minutes while I finished getting ready and then we decided to go out for a little while. the guy wanted to go look at motorcycles so we obliged. Sarah has a four door teal Saturn which I love. When we got to the place we looked at tall the awesome recreational stuff like the jet skis and so forth. I was joking around with the girls a lot just like the last time at Busch Gardens. Actually this was only the second time I've ever seen them. Sarah and I had kind of grabbed each other's hand by the time we left the store.

We then were debating between going tubing on the river, going to these springs, or just going to see a movie. After quite a while of just driving around, we finally decided to see about a movie. We stopped at a McDonalds for a few minutes and Sarah and I went in for her to change. We ended up each getting a big shake and some fries and we argued forever but she ended up treating. We then sat and talked for a long time and really pissed the other two off out in the hot car. Sarah has the most beautiful tanned freckled breasts and a very attractive body. It has always been a fantasy of mine lately before Shar¡ to do a younger girl for the experience of what I missed in high school. Just to get one while they're still somewhat fresh seemed exciting and shoved itself right in my face today.

We decided to head over to the mall to see a movie or just to walk around. Sarah was starting to get really tired because she had been awake so much over the weekend. When we got there most of the movies had started and we eventually decided to look around in some of the stores. Sarah grabbed me by the hand and we went into a record store. Amanda soon ran up with the idea that we go rent a movie and go back to my place. On the walk out the girls paired off up in front of us and stated talking while we did the same. He had said earlier that all Sarah was talking about on the trip is that she hasn't been fucked in along time and was really looking forward to seeing me! He and I had also joked around making sexual references and he said that he really likes `this guy.' That was pretty cool. Anyway we were talking about sex and he said that he hasn't gotten any in quite a while and I laughed and said that my last was Monday morning!!! He called me a lucky bastard because he knew what was up with Sarah as well. I later mentioned to him that this other girl is my girlfriend which really surprised him.

What really surprised me is how much I've changed since meeting Shar¡ for the better. It used to be that I would have eagerly had sex with two different girls in the same week but Shar¡ means so much to me now that didn't even want to do more than casually touch this girl of my `fantasies!' I really wish there is a way that I could tell Shar¡ what happened so that she could appreciate how I truly feel for her. It ended up that we couldn't rent any videos because we didn't have a major credit card so we went back to my place to see what I have. I bought a box of Vivarin so that Sarah could take a few on her way home so at least they'd live on the drive home at four. We decided it was best if Sarah lay down and I gave her my bed. I ended up going in and talking to her by leaning up on the bed like I did with Shar¡.

I tried to leave a couple of times so she could rest but she kept yelling at me to come back. She really wanted me to kiss her because I would move my face towards hers every once in a while and she would answer back with the same movement. At almost any point all day I could have kissed her and ended up having sex with her. It was entirely my decision because she had yes written all over her face. Amanda and her boyfriend took my main entrance key and kept going downstairs to smoke every once in a while during their Basic Instinct movie. I was alone talking to Sarah and we had been lucky so far that none of my roommates had shown up. Ed walked in and I introduced them. It was pretty funny because we were both in my room and she was already in my bed. I let his imagination wander as he left on his bike ride.

She eventually sat up and I put my arms around her legs and we were holding onto each other and touching a lot. The great impulse to kiss her if even only to make her happy kept rushing through my mind only to be violently stopped by Shar¡. I kept thinking about what my conscience would do to me if I did sleep with Sarah. I probably wouldn't be able to talk to Shar¡ straight and she might figure that something's up. I finally said fuck it in my mind and decided that if she wanted to kiss me, she could do it, but I wasn't going to start anything. I eventually ended up escorting them down. Sarah kept telling m,e throughout the day that she wants to come up pretty soon by herself to stay with me for a weekend. She didn't know where she'd stay until I told her that you can have members of the opposite sex stay in your rooms. That surprised her but she really liked the idea and she said that she'll even cook for me when she comes up. We hugged long and hard before they drove off.

I then went and bragged my ass off to Jon because I was so damn proud of what I didn't do. We had a talk about it for a little while. I then went next door and hung out with the neighbors for a little while. I had already changed back into my dorm clothes. We were joking about sex and I was talking to Leigh Anne about my two girlfriends. I told her that I stayed loyal. She was asking me about Cord and if he is really Shar¡'s baby. I was standing there with them at the kitchen table only to see Sarah and the others walk by to my room! This was more than an hour after they left!!! They saw me in the other room but weren't sure if it was me or not. they wanted to call their moms back in Tampa and try to tell their moms that they would be home even later than they had planned. The hardest part was the fact that neither of them were supposed to be in Gainesville at all. Sarah is really good at home and both of the girls' moms love her a lot and it really made her nervous that Amanda was doing this. Anyway it got done and we all decided to go out. They needed to get ready and I wanted to take a shower so I sent them back to the guy's room for a while. Sarah and I held hands the entire way down and just before she got in the car, we kissed on the lips...

I knew that Shar¡ was probably still at Christine's for the weekend but I tried calling her anyway. Buffy answered and said that they got my new letter but Shar¡ hasn't seen it yet. I then called Christine's house and asked for Shar¡. I then talked to Christine for a few minutes and she was all excited to hear from me. I apologized for being mean to her that night and she really didn't seem to care anymore. It turns out that her party was tonight!!! instead of Friday night. I knew that but just wasn't thinking. I told Shar¡ that I would have come in a second if I would have known and Shar¡ said that she really wishes I had. We talked for a little while and had a really good conversation. I told her that my new letter is waiting for her and it's kind of a different one. She said our little, `Uh oh!' that we make now when we think something bad is going to come out of the other's mouth. I told her just to wait and see. She was telling me first how she really did write me six pages worth in the new one. I told her about how I was getting ready to go out and all. She ended by telling me to be careful and some other stuff and I essentially only told her to be good.

They came back later and the guy still hadn't gotten in touch with his friend about the party yet. The Florida versus Kentucky game came on TV which is really cool because it is pay per view and the student government bought the broadcast for the entire campus! That was great so he and I started watching the game while the girls went out and bought food for us. Sarah kept saying that she really needed to talk to Amanda before they left and they didn't come back for an hour. I called Laura while they were gone and talked to her for a while. We started talking again about how we should have gone out and I was convincing her that I did really want to back at Busch Gardens. I told her how I always told Ronnie to back off and how Mark and I used to talk about us a lot. It was funny and we talked until the girls came back. She accused me of ditching her again but we laughed it off as we said goodbye.

Sarah had taken two Vivarin earlier and was nervous in the first place about her mom so we put her in bed when they got back. Amanda tried calling their moms again because they hadn't been home earlier. Amanda majorly fucked up and ended up hanging up on Sarah's mom!!! Sarah freaked out and started crying because she knew that her mom would end up taking her license away again after all of this was over. I went in the room and held her and she said that Amanda is always getting her in trouble for as long as they've known each other and how she can't wait to come up to Gainesville to get the freedom that living alone gets you. She kept saying all day that she wanted to run away.

I just kept thinking to myself how glad I was that their night was falling apart so I wouldn't get any more chances to be unfaithful. I eventually calmed her down and we were sitting on the stools in the living room alone again. I had both of her hands and she kept asking how I put up with her and that I must hate her for ruining my day. I kept reassuring her that she hadn't in any way. We started looking at each other starry eyed and came very close to kissing a couple of times. I did have my hands all over her but I did keep it respectable. She started getting really nervous again and said that she really just wanted to go to that party for a little while and then they could just go home. Amanda was being a completely stupid bitch to Sarah about the whole thing because she didn't have anything to lose out of the whole ordeal. After both the guy and I said that we can't go to the party because he hasn't even talked to him yet and by that time they'll only have about fifteen minutes before they have to go home.

Sarah then said that she just needed to drive and none of us wanted to give her the keys. The other two walked out right before her and I still didn't think she should be driving right then. I essentially told her that if she left, I wouldn't be going with her and asked her if she's still going to write. She said what? and then asked if I was being serious. I think I said that it was nice knowing her and she got pissed and slammed out. I knew she expected me to follow her and I then heard Amanda ask her what I had said to her. There was no way in hell I was leaving my room right then for something so stupid and dangerous. I was kind of glad that they were gone, too. I figure I'll give her a call sometime this week just to `make up.'

I then started watching the game with Jon and Leigh Anne who came over to talk to me. We were talking about sex and I said that I am depressed. She said that I have no reason to be depressed because I have sex flying at me from all directions, but she's the one who can't get any. I told her that my second girlfriend and I got in a fight and then told her what was said. She said that I am cold, but oh well. She was hungry and was rooting through our refrigerator. I offered to make her a plate of French fries and later said that they brought back memories because Shar¡ and I usually had a plate of them before having sex last weekend. That was funny. We were really pissed that the year was over already as the Gators were losing to the Kentucky Wildcats in the final seconds of the game. The Gator's had rallied and completed a two point conversion to tie the game but Kentucky answered with a field goal. We had essentially lost all hope and had turned our attention away from the game when (I have chill bumps right now just thinking about it!) we looked up to hear screaming and every Gator on TV holding up their arms!!! Our replacement red shirt freshman quarterback had completed an awesome pass to a walk on receiver for a touchdown with only three seconds remaining!!!!! We freaked and I knew that both the year and this week will be awesome...

It was a very screwy weekend.