Shar¡ and I had the phone call of the year last night. I had told Leigh Anne that I didn't want to do anything with her so she ran off to Jason's house like she always so readily does. Heaven forbid she miss a moment that something might be going on. I think she'd die if she weren't with a guy every night. What a whore, but I'll deal with that later if I get bored. She came over when she got home even though I had asked her not to. She wanted to show me some stuff she bought at this huge media store. One was a book about everything men know about women. I asked her if the pages were blank before she even opened it and kind of ruined the joke. She also bought some bullshit book with over two thousand date ideas so I can't use the excuse that I don't have any ideas of what to do. She never caught on that I didn't want to spend time with her, I always have ideas.
Chris was on the phone with Marty well after midnight and had sung to her because today is her birthday. Leigh Anne wished her well and then I wished her a VERY happy birthday. Marty said something that Chris wouldn't repeat so it definitely was a little more friendly than he would like her to be towards me. The other night when I was depressed, she asked to talk to me and told me not to worry because she'll be back soon to cheer me up! Chris freaked out but I told him all she meant was that the fact that she makes it back to Jacksonville safe and sound will cheer me up. Good cover up, huh?
I heard him click over to the other line at 12:30 since he was out talking in the hallway and he was kind of confused and seemed torn. I figured it was Karen or something for Jon but when out and checked anyway. It was Shar¡!!!!! She called after all and CHris was stumbling because he was in an important conversation with MArty but knew how much a phone call from Shar¡ would mean to me. He told her I'd call her back in a few minutes. Fool! He's supposed to tell her to call back, but oh well. I waited until 12:40. Leigh Anne was kind of pissed because I was calling Shar¡ but I don't care.
And then the beauty began... I had said most of the things that I had wanted to say to her all along over the past five months last week but last night we got to all of the obscure and more controversial ones. It was awesome how well things worked out!!! She was having a really good time talking to me and mentioned once how much she likes talking to me. We were talking once and she suddenly, exasperatedly, asked me how come I always know how to say the right things at the right times. I obviously was making a wonderful impression by some of the other compliments we exchanged and she once again was falling for my overpowering charm. I was the one that broke the ice by complimenting her through hints. She picked up on it the first time and asked what I meant just to be sure and I told her that was my little way of telling her (how wonderful she is) or something like that. She seemed to like it.
We then both got pathetic. She told me that she likes to look at my pictures a lot and even has one put up on her bedroom wall!!!!!!! She asked me if I remember which one she really liked of me. I asked if it was the one of me holding Cord's hand walking along the beach. She said that he really likes that one, too, but she's talking about a newer one. I kind of doubted it was the Mardi Gras picture and then remembered the one of me in bed from the time she was in Gainesville. She said that's the one and said that I look really cute in it. That is a damn good picture of me and now I'm so very glad she took it that morning. I confessed that I had blown up the pool picture of her like we had always talked about. When I told her when I did it she realized it was before she first called and said that I had been thinking about her before she called and I said yes. I think she liked that.
I brought up my ring at one point and finally told her how Buffy said she couldn't find it. This was after she said that she had visited her dad's house yesterday. She said that was bullshit because Buffy always said she had it in her jewelry box and said that she would find out for me. I was really glad to get that out in the open. SHe asked me again if I had ever gotten her letter that her Grandmother was supposed to mail for her. I said no and she said that sucks because she'll have to rewrite it. I wonder what it said that was that important.
We then started talking about her being pregnant. I had mentioned how it has been almost five months since I've seen her in a good capacity. She then said that I saw her at Christmas and I brought up my birthday. She kind of laughed and said that must have been quite a birthday present. She claims that she really didn't want me to leave that night. That's cool because it makes some of the responses I thought I saw at the end seem more believable. But Christina had wanted to go somewhere, I reminded her.
Our then conversation got cut off by another call from Leigh Anne I think. It had also gotten intermingled with what was going o happen to us now. She suddenly got serious and said that she should have told me what was going on when she called instead of stopping her calls to me. I swore she was talking about the past two weeks and was saying that we got out of hand and she's not looking for a relationship right now. My heart dropped into my stomach as I asked her if that's what happened, and that I thought so. I really thought she meant over the weekend when she didn't call me back like planned and I was hurt. It suddenly clicked that she was talking about how she stopped calling me when she found out she was pregnant. I told her my mistake and she and I both laughed (mine was a laugh of great relief)!!! Damn that was scary!
She then reconfirmed what she had said. She then was telling me how she then went back and read one of the letters I had written her about that weekend. She told me that I said something like how I realized the chances we were taking by having unprotected sex and was willing to take the risk with her. She said that after reading that, she felt like a total asshole for what she had done to me.....
September 7, 1993.... There's one thing I'm a little "curious" about. On Friday when we had first gone to bed I kept wondering if you were going to make me use a condom. I don't like to but I always have. That's why I waited letting you put me in you so that it would be your decision. I was willing to take any risk with you as long as you were doing the same. I guess "curious" wasn't really the word I was looking for, the whole thing was just a thought that had crossed my mind.
I think the original intentions were more stilted towards disease than pregnancy, but what the hell! I also used to think that paragraph was one of the more controversial that I sometimes regretted including in my letters, but now I'm so fucking glad I did!!!
I kind of admitted that I was more upset to find out that she had been pregnant and no longer was, than when I first thought I found out she was pregnant. I retold her the story of how I discovered that she was pregnant because I had remembered the day her period stopped on the phone and things matched up and put her most fertile day right in the middle of our weekend. I then told her the excuse I had wanted to say forever because she had one time asked me why I didn't say anything. I told her that's not the kind of thing the guy usually figures out first and brings up to the girl and we laughed kind of hard about that and she agreed that it's usually the girl.
She then repeated what I had said about being more upset that she had lost it and asked if I really would have wanted it. She said that she doesn't know because one is kind of enough right now. I lied as I agreed that it probably wouldn't have been good for us. I did say how I would have gotten out of school at the beginning of may just about the time it would be squirting out!!! She really liked the term "squirting" and we laughed about that.
Conversation turned to Cord. I asked her how he was doing at the very onset of the conversation and she told me that she ended up taking him to the emergency room today. They gave him a suppository and gave her one to put in today and she really wasn't looking forward to that. They said he has an ear infection and the common flu. They tested to see if he would throw up after being given the suppository and fortunately he didn't. If he had, they would have had to hook him up to an IV and she was very serious as she said it would be very hard to see Cord like that.
She also asked at the beginning if I could take her into the hospital where I volunteer if she came up to see me. I was kind of shocked and said that would actually involve her coming up and she said maybe so but it wouldn't be until after spring break. I said of course because I would probably be able to sneak her in without anyone noticing and if they did, so what, it probably wouldn't be a big deal at all. I could extremely easily bullshit my way out of it.
She then was telling me again how I had a different attitude about Cord than any other guy she had dated. She said they would all usually try to get her to dump Cord off on her mom or with a babysitter when they went out. She said that I never even asked that once and that really impressed her. She said that we did have our nights alone (except the big baby, Christina, was always there!) but I never complained about having to bring Cord along. I truthfully never thought of doing so any other way but I can see how Cord might be a burden for a guy just out to have sex... I just always hope that she doesn't come back to me more for Cord's benefit than hers, but I don't think she'd do that.
She asked me at one point what questions I was wondering about the other night. I was amazed that she had actually heard and remembered what I had said and I suddenly realized that she probably absorbs much more than I've given her credit for lately. For she has remembered a lot about our time together and she doesn't have a journal to remind her of us. I guess I forgot who I was dealing with. I just asked what will happen over the break again and she said that she figured we'd go to the beach like the old days and start as friends and go from there. I cringed as she said the "f" word and she laughed and said that we're definitely friends and I suddenly agreed that what she had said was hardly bad.
I was talking about moving back at one point and wa saying how much easier the decision would be if I had somebody there waiting for me. She cutely said that maybe I do and I acted all surprised and excited and asked if Christina really wants me! She laughed hard. I then asked if I know this person and she said that she kind of looks like her, but not really. She ended up sticking her foot in her mouth and digging a hole she couldn't climb out of because she's just not as talented as me in logical confusion and we had a good laugh about that. It was cute though that she was trying to play the game that I've pulled on her on various occasion.
As it was nearing time for me to go neither one of us wanted to get off the phone, especially her. She told me that she has a really strong urge to be with me right now and we regretted not being able to arrange it. You could really tell as we tried to hang up because we always have a problem because neither of us ever want to be the one to hang up on the other. It's funny and I had almost forgotten how we used to do that until just the other night and again last night. It's actually kind of cute.
FUCK SHE'S AWESOME!!!!!
Showing posts with label Chris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chris. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 23, 1994
Friday, February 18, 1994
February 18, 1994 - Friday - Just waiting and waiting
I can't help myself!!! I don't know what it is about Shar¡ but she drives me fucking insane!!! Just hearing her voice again after all this time and then the confirmations that we gave each other has completely turned me into a madman. I have waited ever so impatiently since our talk on Tuesday with the faintest hope that she would call me eventually. I knew it would take a bit of time for my letter to get there if she had indeed given me the right address and her response would probably come after that.
I tried to lie down tonight after Chris and I had just been talking about Marty and Shar¡. He told me how they seem to have ESP and always call each other at perfect moments and often say the same things. I recalled instantly how Shar¡ and I used to always do that as well and it made memories of her start gushing out. Chris then left to do his laundry and I tried to lie down. I was extremely restless. I suddenly gave in and ran into the other room and called. She answered. I told her it was me and she said that he knows in an extremely cute voice. She said that she got my letter today and it was sweet but she had just ripped out a coupon and was going to pick up a pizza for dinner and had to go. We agreed to call one another sometime tomorrow.....
I tried to lie down tonight after Chris and I had just been talking about Marty and Shar¡. He told me how they seem to have ESP and always call each other at perfect moments and often say the same things. I recalled instantly how Shar¡ and I used to always do that as well and it made memories of her start gushing out. Chris then left to do his laundry and I tried to lie down. I was extremely restless. I suddenly gave in and ran into the other room and called. She answered. I told her it was me and she said that he knows in an extremely cute voice. She said that she got my letter today and it was sweet but she had just ripped out a coupon and was going to pick up a pizza for dinner and had to go. We agreed to call one another sometime tomorrow.....
Wednesday, February 2, 1994
February 2, 1994 - Wednesday - Collectable girl habit
What a sigh of relief to finally have Leigh Anne out of my hair. I don't know where she is right now but I don't care as long as she's not with me or making a big deal about not being with me. It's so peaceful and I actually have free time to get things done that have needed attention for quite a while in my life.
I found a piece of paper from back in October where I had written a note down after a phone call to Shar¡. All it says is that she told me that she had already bought me a cake for when I came down (for my birthday). Unfortunately circumstances didn't work out but it was cool that she had made the gesture. It reminds me now of how she made me that chocolate cake and then got Buffy to go along with her in saying that everybody got a hold of it and ate it already. I really felt like shit after that only to be surprised when she pulled the entire chocolate cake out of the oven. I can't quite remember if anything was written on it... I doubt it.
I also have been finding all of the little trinkets that I have collected that remind me of her. This isn't pathetic, it's just a habit I've always had. I have a napkin from where Kimmeth and I went to the Gators restaurant, the original Busch Gardens napkin when I first got her phone number, a pair of her socks that got stained by her leather shoes once, and even a piece of fishing wire that had some significance to us at one time or another. As for Shar¡, I have a plastic bag of Cord's baby wipes, one of his tiny socks, the rest of the cord to the ying yang necklace when I cut it to fit her neck, and even half a bottle of pills for her throat infection. I still love how she was wearing my necklace and bracelet at Christmas... but where is my ring???
It's unfortunate how the burden has kept me out of contact with women at the beginning of the semester and has thus screwed those precious moments when many girls are available at the beginning of each term. The fact that I missed the first week of lab kind of killed my chances in there as well. There are two extremely worthwhile ones in there. One looks European with long blonde hair and Shar¡'s face. The other is God's gift and I want to ask her so much if she realizes how blessed she is. She has huge perfect breasts. You could not ask for anything better!!! Anything smaller, larger would make them worse. It's amazing! She also has long beautiful shiny brunette hair and I am truly in lust. I've seen her in class and she is relaxed, putting her feet up on the chair in front of her, and that impresses me. We finally talked, if only about lab, for a few minutes on Tuesday as I explained how I did something in the lab that she couldn't figure out.
I called home today and my mom says she has sent me a nine hundred dollar check to throw my balance back over a thousand to avoid charges. She wanted to know how my volunteering was on Monday and a couple of other things. I went grocery shopping with Chris tonight just to keep him company and to pick up the few things I had forgotten on Saturday.
I found a piece of paper from back in October where I had written a note down after a phone call to Shar¡. All it says is that she told me that she had already bought me a cake for when I came down (for my birthday). Unfortunately circumstances didn't work out but it was cool that she had made the gesture. It reminds me now of how she made me that chocolate cake and then got Buffy to go along with her in saying that everybody got a hold of it and ate it already. I really felt like shit after that only to be surprised when she pulled the entire chocolate cake out of the oven. I can't quite remember if anything was written on it... I doubt it.
I also have been finding all of the little trinkets that I have collected that remind me of her. This isn't pathetic, it's just a habit I've always had. I have a napkin from where Kimmeth and I went to the Gators restaurant, the original Busch Gardens napkin when I first got her phone number, a pair of her socks that got stained by her leather shoes once, and even a piece of fishing wire that had some significance to us at one time or another. As for Shar¡, I have a plastic bag of Cord's baby wipes, one of his tiny socks, the rest of the cord to the ying yang necklace when I cut it to fit her neck, and even half a bottle of pills for her throat infection. I still love how she was wearing my necklace and bracelet at Christmas... but where is my ring???
It's unfortunate how the burden has kept me out of contact with women at the beginning of the semester and has thus screwed those precious moments when many girls are available at the beginning of each term. The fact that I missed the first week of lab kind of killed my chances in there as well. There are two extremely worthwhile ones in there. One looks European with long blonde hair and Shar¡'s face. The other is God's gift and I want to ask her so much if she realizes how blessed she is. She has huge perfect breasts. You could not ask for anything better!!! Anything smaller, larger would make them worse. It's amazing! She also has long beautiful shiny brunette hair and I am truly in lust. I've seen her in class and she is relaxed, putting her feet up on the chair in front of her, and that impresses me. We finally talked, if only about lab, for a few minutes on Tuesday as I explained how I did something in the lab that she couldn't figure out.
I called home today and my mom says she has sent me a nine hundred dollar check to throw my balance back over a thousand to avoid charges. She wanted to know how my volunteering was on Monday and a couple of other things. I went grocery shopping with Chris tonight just to keep him company and to pick up the few things I had forgotten on Saturday.
Monday, December 13, 1993
December 13, 1993 - Monday - Last fling w/ Leigh Anne
I've actually had a pretty eventful day, despite the disappointing setback of my car not working worth a shit. I slept over at Leigh Anne's last night and yes we had sex again. We had sex the night before as well for the first time since that Monday night when I dumped her. Marty was with with Chris for the weekend which is why I went with Leigh Anne, otherwise I would have been alone, like I will be tonight. Michelle walked in on us last night while we were having sex and Leigh Anne made a big deal out of it. I just rolled over since I was letting her do all of the work anyway and started to go to sleep. After Michelle settled in up on the top bunk, she went at it again. I decided to take advantage of the situation and asked her to finish a blow job she had started. I have never orgasmed into anyone's mouth before and have always really wanted to.
She was really unsure about being able to do so but I moved my hips to help myself out and after a while I did come inside her mouth and the feel of her sucking the come out of my dick was pure bliss!!! That felt awesome. It's a shame it had to be with her. Sometimes through the night I tried to picture that I was lying with Shar¡ but I just couldn't even though it was dark, there are just too many physical differences as well. It's weird, but it's almost as if Shar¡ is less dense than Leigh Anne, if that makes any sense. It's like Leigh Anne's aura is absorbing the life out of me while Shar¡ was filling me full.
I didn't wake up until 12:30 when I quickly split to run the day's errands. Jon wanted to come with Chris and I. Cecil was over and we dropped him off at an exam before heading over to check out my car. The problems seem to be deeper than just the battery now which sucks! We then headed to Wal Mart where I bought Christmas cards for Kimmeth, Carey Ann and Mema. I received two cards in the mail today before we left, one from Carey Ann and one from Mema with five dollars inside to buy snacks for exam week. I thought that was really funny because I complained sarcastically to my mom the other day that both Laura and Ashley's parents love them enough to send them baskets, but mine don't. I know that my mom ended up telling Mema that which is why she sent me money. I thought that was really sweet and my mom agreed tonight that it really happened that way and Mema didn't tell her that she sent the card until after she had already mailed it. carey Ann's card was really sweet and told me how she thinks constantly about our fun summer together and so forth.
We then went to Publix and bought a dozen glazed doughnuts. Chris and I picked out three additional fifty cent a piece doughnuts and she gave them to us for free. She was fat and we joked that she gave them to us because we flirted with her. The cashier was gorgeous, however, and I really enjoyed looking at her. We then headed home only to find a message on the answering machine! It was for me!!! It was my beautiful Sarah, and I thought she had forgotten about me! Thank God she hasn't! I didn't ever return her call today, though, but I will really soon. I also called Shands Hospital and made an interview appointment for the spring semester to be a cuddler for infants and small children. That should be fun.
Chris, Jon and I later headed out to the mall to do a little Christmas shopping and had a good time. I suggested that we stop by and pick up Cecil which we did. We ran all over the mall and had fun and found so much stuff to buy. I found this awesome semi-pornographic card that is personalized with Kim's name that she ought to love. I'll remind her of how much she bragged about going to the male strip club that time. I hope she likes it. I also bought a little black mouse.
I made spaghetti tonight and even gave some to Leigh Anne. It was delicious and we also made twisty bread sticks that came out really well. I ran downstairs with a small plate of hamburger after I browned it to give to Laura and they all thought that was pretty funny. I also had I called home to tell them about my car predicament and to brag about how good my spaghetti was. My mom told me that Shar¡ called the other day and Chrissy talked to her. She said that she wanted(or needs???) to talk to me! She thought that I would be home by then and my sister told her I'd be another week. That would explain why she didn't write to me... I'm really scared right now...
She was really unsure about being able to do so but I moved my hips to help myself out and after a while I did come inside her mouth and the feel of her sucking the come out of my dick was pure bliss!!! That felt awesome. It's a shame it had to be with her. Sometimes through the night I tried to picture that I was lying with Shar¡ but I just couldn't even though it was dark, there are just too many physical differences as well. It's weird, but it's almost as if Shar¡ is less dense than Leigh Anne, if that makes any sense. It's like Leigh Anne's aura is absorbing the life out of me while Shar¡ was filling me full.
I didn't wake up until 12:30 when I quickly split to run the day's errands. Jon wanted to come with Chris and I. Cecil was over and we dropped him off at an exam before heading over to check out my car. The problems seem to be deeper than just the battery now which sucks! We then headed to Wal Mart where I bought Christmas cards for Kimmeth, Carey Ann and Mema. I received two cards in the mail today before we left, one from Carey Ann and one from Mema with five dollars inside to buy snacks for exam week. I thought that was really funny because I complained sarcastically to my mom the other day that both Laura and Ashley's parents love them enough to send them baskets, but mine don't. I know that my mom ended up telling Mema that which is why she sent me money. I thought that was really sweet and my mom agreed tonight that it really happened that way and Mema didn't tell her that she sent the card until after she had already mailed it. carey Ann's card was really sweet and told me how she thinks constantly about our fun summer together and so forth.
We then went to Publix and bought a dozen glazed doughnuts. Chris and I picked out three additional fifty cent a piece doughnuts and she gave them to us for free. She was fat and we joked that she gave them to us because we flirted with her. The cashier was gorgeous, however, and I really enjoyed looking at her. We then headed home only to find a message on the answering machine! It was for me!!! It was my beautiful Sarah, and I thought she had forgotten about me! Thank God she hasn't! I didn't ever return her call today, though, but I will really soon. I also called Shands Hospital and made an interview appointment for the spring semester to be a cuddler for infants and small children. That should be fun.
Chris, Jon and I later headed out to the mall to do a little Christmas shopping and had a good time. I suggested that we stop by and pick up Cecil which we did. We ran all over the mall and had fun and found so much stuff to buy. I found this awesome semi-pornographic card that is personalized with Kim's name that she ought to love. I'll remind her of how much she bragged about going to the male strip club that time. I hope she likes it. I also bought a little black mouse.
I made spaghetti tonight and even gave some to Leigh Anne. It was delicious and we also made twisty bread sticks that came out really well. I ran downstairs with a small plate of hamburger after I browned it to give to Laura and they all thought that was pretty funny. I also had I called home to tell them about my car predicament and to brag about how good my spaghetti was. My mom told me that Shar¡ called the other day and Chrissy talked to her. She said that she wanted(or needs???) to talk to me! She thought that I would be home by then and my sister told her I'd be another week. That would explain why she didn't write to me... I'm really scared right now...