December 13, 1993 - Monday - Last fling w/ Leigh Anne

I've actually had a pretty eventful day, despite the disappointing setback of my car not working worth a shit. I slept over at Leigh Anne's last night and yes we had sex again. We had sex the night before as well for the first time since that Monday night when I dumped her. Marty was with with Chris for the weekend which is why I went with Leigh Anne, otherwise I would have been alone, like I will be tonight. Michelle walked in on us last night while we were having sex and Leigh Anne made a big deal out of it. I just rolled over since I was letting her do all of the work anyway and started to go to sleep. After Michelle settled in up on the top bunk, she went at it again. I decided to take advantage of the situation and asked her to finish a blow job she had started. I have never orgasmed into anyone's mouth before and have always really wanted to.

She was really unsure about being able to do so but I moved my hips to help myself out and after a while I did come inside her mouth and the feel of her sucking the come out of my dick was pure bliss!!! That felt awesome. It's a shame it had to be with her. Sometimes through the night I tried to picture that I was lying with Shar¡ but I just couldn't even though it was dark, there are just too many physical differences as well. It's weird, but it's almost as if Shar¡ is less dense than Leigh Anne, if that makes any sense. It's like Leigh Anne's aura is absorbing the life out of me while Shar¡ was filling me full.

I didn't wake up until 12:30 when I quickly split to run the day's errands. Jon wanted to come with Chris and I. Cecil was over and we dropped him off at an exam before heading over to check out my car. The problems seem to be deeper than just the battery now which sucks! We then headed to Wal Mart where I bought Christmas cards for Kimmeth, Carey Ann and Mema. I received two cards in the mail today before we left, one from Carey Ann and one from Mema with five dollars inside to buy snacks for exam week. I thought that was really funny because I complained sarcastically to my mom the other day that both Laura and Ashley's parents love them enough to send them baskets, but mine don't. I know that my mom ended up telling Mema that which is why she sent me money. I thought that was really sweet and my mom agreed tonight that it really happened that way and Mema didn't tell her that she sent the card until after she had already mailed it. carey Ann's card was really sweet and told me how she thinks constantly about our fun summer together and so forth.

We then went to Publix and bought a dozen glazed doughnuts. Chris and I picked out three additional fifty cent a piece doughnuts and she gave them to us for free. She was fat and we joked that she gave them to us because we flirted with her. The cashier was gorgeous, however, and I really enjoyed looking at her. We then headed home only to find a message on the answering machine! It was for me!!! It was my beautiful Sarah, and I thought she had forgotten about me! Thank God she hasn't! I didn't ever return her call today, though, but I will really soon. I also called Shands Hospital and made an interview appointment for the spring semester to be a cuddler for infants and small children. That should be fun.

Chris, Jon and I later headed out to the mall to do a little Christmas shopping and had a good time. I suggested that we stop by and pick up Cecil which we did. We ran all over the mall and had fun and found so much stuff to buy. I found this awesome semi-pornographic card that is personalized with Kim's name that she ought to love. I'll remind her of how much she bragged about going to the male strip club that time. I hope she likes it. I also bought a little black mouse.

I made spaghetti tonight and even gave some to Leigh Anne. It was delicious and we also made twisty bread sticks that came out really well. I ran downstairs with a small plate of hamburger after I browned it to give to Laura and they all thought that was pretty funny. I also had I called home to tell them about my car predicament and to brag about how good my spaghetti was. My mom told me that Shar¡ called the other day and Chrissy talked to her. She said that she wanted(or needs???) to talk to me! She thought that I would be home by then and my sister told her I'd be another week. That would explain why she didn't write to me... I'm really scared right now...

November 30, 1993 - Tuesday - Leigh Anne on her ass!!!

I finally consented to having sex again with Leigh Anne but I made her do all of the work. I sat in a chair while she gave me a long blow job and sucked my balls into her mouth. She told me that she never used to like putting a guys penis in her mouth but for some reason she loves doing it to me! I still felt like shit for having such low willpower that I didn't dump her on her ass Sunday night like I so much wanted to. I then dreamt about Shar¡ and was restless all night long. It's so weird how I'll dream a conversation that I know is coming and how exactly my mind perceives what will happen. I then couldn't get Shar¡ out of my mind all day long, not that I wanted to though.

But Leigh Anne had promised that she would stay by my side through this whole deal because she loves me so much and would never walk out on me like she would have in the old days. She did tell me that throughout the night she kept wanting to kill Shar¡ for trying to screw up OUR lives. She even surprised me with a single wrapped rose! That was a really sweet and unexpected gesture. I then was being really nice to her after she got home from a little religion seminar and was hanging out with her in her room and talking with all of her roommates. I was especially talking to Michelle, for she has her Phi Eta Sigma inductions Wednesday night and I'd like to go with her, explaining that I might meet up with Greta again! Michelle said that Leigh Anne would probably come with us if I went, though. We also looked at yearbooks and I was picking out attractive girls from Leigh Anne's senior class, and letting her tell me if my taste was good or bad.

Cecil then knocked on the door since nobody was in my room and I went home with him to tell him all about my weekend and about Shar¡. There was even a message that Sarah from Tampa had called!!! We had played phone tag all weekend and still haven't gotten a hold of one another. After Cecil and I had talked for a while, Leigh Anne called me and bitched about when I was coming back and why I had left her for so long. I told her in a few minutes. Ashley then called and was all excited about a dance that Laura and Jana had made up so Cecil and I headed down to their room. We all talked and had a merry time for about an hour. We were all being really silly and I was trying to hit on Laura a bit. Ashley really seemed to be hanging all over me and some pretty raunchy jokes were exchanged. It was a lot of fun. We even all inspected a bottle of tequila but nobody was willing to drink any of it. It had been Jamee's when he came down for Gator Growl.

Jana and Laura were in their pajamas and were kind of embarrassed about doing their dance in front of a stranger, but we eventually convinced them to. It was a really funny portrayal of The Twelve Days of Christmas. They were proud about wiggling their tongues outside of their mouths as they walked around like birds (French hens!). It was really funny and Ashley was standing on the fouton behind me hiding her head on my shoulder because we were laughing so hard. It was great, but Cecil kind of thinks they're strange. Ashley and I decided to get up at seven thirty this morning and go park her car out in the garage and then find out our biology exam scores. We said goodbye and then headed back upstairs where Cecil and I talked for a while more.

Leigh Anne stopped by and seemed pissed since I had been gone for an hour and a half when I said I'd be right over and said we needed to talk. Cecil offered to go apologize to her and say that it was his fault but I told him not to, and he soon took off to go study. Leigh Anne then came over and bitched at me. I told her that I hadn't planned on being long and she asked why I didn't call. I said I don't know her phone number and didn't really find it that important! I had warned her the night before not to fuck with me so soon after my talk with Shar¡, but she did anyway. So I dumped her. I tried to hurt her as hard as I could without making it look like I ever did anything wrong! I told Chris what all was said afterwards, because he was on the phone with Marty, and he was shocked at how mean I was and said that he has never even come close to being as harsh as I was to that girl, but if I was going to do it to somebody, she's was the best one for it.

I thought it was cool because I have never dumped anyone before, I have always been the dumpee, so I was out to destroy her. It was also really sudden for her.... ha ha!!! She also really pissed me off by saying that she is hurt that I run around bragging to everybody about getting Shar¡ pregnant like I am proud of it. I quickly made her feel lie shit when I told her only she, Cecil, Chris, and Ashley even know. She was surprised that I hadn't even told Jon. I bitched her out that I wasn't going to stop my friendships for her or anyone. She also said once that she doesn't understand because she gave me everything emotionally and physically that she could, and even would have raised the little shithead with me, saying she has to love it because it's part me. Well that pissed me off and I told her that she just ended any hope of us ever getting back together by saying that.

She cried the whole time and kept trying to hold me but I pushed her away. She was playing with a little noisemaker and I knew she'd eventually throw it at me, so I was ready when she did. She then tried to start hitting and scratching me so I threw her down into a chair pretty forcefully and then left her there by herself. She later decided that she wasn't going to give up this easily and wasn't going to leave me because she knows I really need her to be with me right now. She then climbed into my bed. I then pulled out the big guns and told her that I still love Shar¡ and would go back to her in a heartbeat even I she's not pregnant. That worked marvelously!!!!! Chris told me later that she came crying to him out in the stairway where he was on the phone and wanted to talk to him.

She eventually opened our door again and wanted to talk. I agreed but pointed out the door as she tried to walk in and made her talk out in the hallway. I told her there are no more chances for us and kind of let her think it was her fault for sparking me off by bitching. She was then saying that she'd forgive me if only I wouldn't give up on us, because this is the best thing that's happened to her in a long time and so on. She slowly was moving toward me to try and kiss me and get me back so I hurt her again and as she rolled against the wall, crying, I grabbed her blanket and pillows from inside the room and dropped them at her feet. I then walked back into my room for good!!! I was so proud of myself!!! I finally stuck up for myself. I want to tell Shar¡ that I dumped the girl I was dating and stopped having sex as soon as she scared me on my birthday... and now I can.

I then let Jon in on the whole weekend and later talked to Chris about it. Now I might just play confessor to Ashley and Laura by saying that I've made mistakes and want to make my life good again and so on. I might still be able to make amends and get Laura yet!!! It also felt so awesome to sleep alone again, spread out across my bed. It used to feel so good sleeping with Shar¡, but I compared Leigh Anne to having to share a bed with Ed to Chris earlier today and we laughed.

I did run out with Ashley early this morning and we stopped for our grades. I pulled out an awesome 164 out of 200!!! That pulled my compiled scores to higher than Ashley's and rather high compared to the majority of the class. I saved my ass!!!



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I had just finished dinner a little while ago as Jeopardy ended and was washing the dishes I had used when the phone rang. I was afraid it might be Leigh Anne again so I planned on making it quick. To my surprise, it was Sarah!!! I instantly recognized her voice and we started catching up on things right away. She was sorry that she didn't get to talk to me at home but she was in Ocala over the weekend. Just the fact that she was talking to me long distance proved to me she cares. Well, we ended up having an awesome talk and she seems to think about me so much more than I would have thought.

I told her about my weekend including my little illegal ID deal at Busch Gardens, and the story of my trip up to Gainesville for the football game. She was really impressed that I had front row tickets. I told her about my birthday being Wednesday and she said that she was sorry and hoped it was a good one. I told her not to be sorry because I really didn't tell her and she agreed that I did only say so once. Her birthday is July 29th, a day after Chrissy's. She asked me when I am coming home next and I told her the 17th. She said that is the same day she gets out of school and that we'll definitely have to see each other this time around. She got a job at Busch Gardens as well through school and put in for operations but doesn't know what she's got yet. That'll be really cool if we work together over the break.

She then told me that I'll have a letter waiting for me when I get home for Christmas. I asked how, and she said that her mother ran my phone number through the police department's computer and got my address!!! She also tried to do it for my address up here in Gainesville, but it doesn't work out of county. We talked about our ages for a few minutes and I let her know that I think the difference between ours is really minimal. I told her how much older she looked the last time I saw her,a nd she excitedly told me that she looks a lot different now! I was afraid for a second that she was going to say she cut it, or colored it, but she quickly told me that it's getting long and straight. I told her that's really good and she wants to send me pictures and was going to mail them with my letter. I gave her my address up here and told her to still mail the letter home, but mail the pictures up here.

Well, she said she'll put some awesome pictures of her in the mail tomorrow morning before school so I'll get them by the end of the week. I told her I'll pin them up and show them off to everybody to make all of the girls up here jealous and she liked that. I then told her how I had been dating this girl and how I dumped her just last night. She remembers meeting the neighbors and wanted to know which one. She even remembers Ed as being the guy that lives with his girlfriend and rides a bike. I was very impressed and told her so. Well, I explained that I know I don't want to spend my life with this girl and instead of wasting both her and my time, I got rid of her. I told her how harsh I was, and also how it was the first time I've ever done the dumping. I then joked that I shouldn't be telling her this (because I'd hate for her to think I'm this way if we ever go out) and she got the idea and we laughed.

We also talked about school and what she wants to do after high school and how our classes and stuff are right now. I asked her about volleyball and she said they kicked ass this season, losing only two games, but she stopped running cross country. We also asked each other where we live, and she lives in North Tampa pretty close to USF off of Bruce B. Downs Ave. We talked about her little visit up here before and she apologized again for acting the way she did when she was here.

I then regressed further as we talked about the day we first met. She said that she really looked like crap that day, and I said that she actually looked pretty cute. I was saying how I was standing out in front of the Python in the rain when I met her, and I remember her in a white shirt. It was funny. I then told her how funny it is that the last time I saw her was only the second time we had ever seen each other, but we talk on the phone like we've known each other forever. It's really cool yet pretty weird and she fully agrees. She told me how she herself had been dating some guy from the Navy recently who started getting way too possessive who wanted to marry her. She said that she tore at his heart and she ruthlessly dumped him and I see it really good that we have told each other and both made it clear that we are single now!!!

She is going on a trip to Europe over the summer and I suddenly complained that I won't get to see her and how Tampa just won't be the same. I justified myself that it's fun to kiss ass and that was funny. She then relieved me by saying it will only be for nineteen days and then I'll have her back!!! Hurrah!!! Her mom came in the room and Sarah told her that it was me and her mom said hello to me!!! That was pretty cool, too! She also complained that she has a pretty big phone bill, and a lot of it is from that sailor guy. We agreed that it sucks to have to pay for a phone bill once you know a relationship is over for good. She also was asking me if I know for sure that Leigh Anne and I won't be getting back together and I said that is definite! I liked the concern she showed!!!

After I had given her my address up here earlier, I said, "All right...," like it might be time to go and she told me that I'm not going to leave her yet! that was cool as she told me that she still wants to talk to me for a while. I told her that she shouldn't talk to me for so long if she is broke and worried about her phone bill and she quickly told me that it's very OK, especially when it's me she's talking to!!! She then said she's sorry and I asked why!, and said that we're actually complimenting each other and then apologizing for it. We laughed a lot and she said that sometimes people just don't like such compliments. Hell yes I do!!! She was thinking about when she was going to call me back again, and I told her that I will call her and she was kind of surprised and really happy to hear me say so. I think this can definitely be good! I just must be dead careful not to get her pregnant because of age...

When I got off the phone, Chris had gotten all excited that I was talking to Sarah, for he remembered her as the gorgeous sixteen year old. Jon was there and Cecil started giving me all kinds of compliments about how I have all of the girls nowadays and have become the big stud. He said he idolizes me and wanted to kiss my hand after bowing to me. He was being completely serious about what he was saying though. It really is quite impressive, I guess, and I am glad to have all of the attention. Poor Dave.

November 29, 1993 - Monday - All find out about Shar¡

What a fucking insane weekend!!! I don't think I've ever had a more eventful period of days in a long time, and definitely not as drastic.

I tried one last desperate attempt to get my message to Shar¡ yesterday morning by leaving my zip code with Christina early in the morning before we left for Gainesville. I told her I was calling to say goodbye, but had many ulterior motives. It sucked to find out that what Shar¡'s dad had said is true, there is no telephone at Craig's house. Damn! I also found out that CraIg has a (ugly!) little boy of his own!!! I also let Christina know that Shar¡ had indeed told me the truth so that Christina would hopefully take me serious enough to really give Shar¡ my zip code. Christina said that she had told Shar¡ that she was wrong for not wanting to tell me and so forth. I just pray the message gets to Shar¡.

I then drove with Father up to Granny's and spent the middle of the day there. We had a small lunch and she gave me a birthday card with twenty-five dollars! I then drove the rest of the way to Gainesville where we pulled the battery out of my car to let it recharge in the dorm while we went grocery shopping. I spent most of the forty dollars my family gave me for my little birthday grocery shopping spree. We then jumped my car and returned it to working order although the battery didn't charge enough to recrank the car. Father plans on letting me drive it home at Christmas while he follows behind me so I can use it to drive to work.

I really wasn't looking forward to Leigh Anne showing up last night because I figured I'd have to dump her and send her home. I knew it would be a big mess when I did. She didn't show up until midnight and I had already been sleeping for a long time. I couldn't say no when she did arrive and despite all of my feelings and heart screaming for me to stop, we had sex. She gave me a killer blow job and I . This time I hurt her and didn't give a shit that I did.

She then kept asking me what my news was that I found out at home. I went and got my plastic fetus and told her that Shar¡ had given this to me. She has heard the joke often enough and did find it funny this time either, until my persistence forced her to realize that I was being completely serious. I told her the entire story of my going over to see Shar¡ at Christina's apartment and so forth. She cried but then gathered herself and wants us still to always be together despite this, no matter what happens. She asked me later if I had been surprised at how she handled it and I most definitely was. She said that was the old Leigh Anne that would have stomped out pissed but she loves me far too much to ever do that! I was definitely impressed. I just wanted her to realize that being with me might include a baby by my side.

That was a weird thought after I had time to think about it because although I know Shar¡ would never give up a baby of her own, I still wondered what it would be like to be single with our baby. I know that I could have it taken away from her if I wanted to, for her abuse of drugs alone. But, and hopefully Leigh Anne won't read this although I really think she should, I want far more for Shar¡ and I to get back together and live... I slept very restlessly all night tossing and turning. I kept dreaming about Shar¡ as my mind tried to figure out what will and what it wants to happen to my life. I then could not get her out of my mind all day long, no matter what I tried. Leigh Anne told me this morning that all night she had horrible thoughts going through her mind about wanting so bad to kill Shar¡, and she has never felt that way about anybody before. She says that Shar¡ knows exactly what she was doing by telling me since I am not like other guys and she knew that she could "control" me.

I told Gina about my ordeal in my German culture class and then headed home early so I could catch Chris as he got home. I dumped all of my problems on him and he was shocked about how things turned out like I had thought. I wondered a little while ago if Shar¡ knew that she could get pregnant that weekend, for she did tell me that she and Michael planned Cord, but all that means is that they had sex unprotected constantly. But how did she never get pregnant again??? She has to at least have an idea about how not to get pregnant because she didn't for a pretty long time and I seriously doubt she used condoms while she was with Michael, or afterwards because I'm sure she would have asked me to use one. I also seriously doubt she was ever on the pill, why would she have quit since she probably could have it paid for by the state. in other words my psychotic mind wonders if perhaps she tried to plan it for a fleeting instant. I know the thought has crossed my mind, just to try to snatch and keep the other person. I don't know?

November 9, 1993 - Tuesday - Eating with Leigh Anne

I was determined last night to finally get my act in gear and start studying again full time. I also took care of my advanced registration with Leigh Anne. She brought up White Castle in a conversation a few nights before and I mentioned that Krystals is the same thing. She hadn't ever been so we decided to go after registering. We both bought four cheese Krystals and they were actually delicious! She really liked them, too, and we ended up having a really nice talk during our meal.

We eventually made it home and soon all gathered around to watch Jeopardy. I fixed myself dinner because I was starving once again and she helped me to devour my fries. Chris made a rather lengthy phone call to Marty and then after finally ripping myself loose from Leigh Anne's grip, we headed out to study for a while. Chris noticed how much she didn't want to be away from me even for a little while and was really glad that I left and didn't let her have her way. We met up with Cecil whom I had chatted with earlier on the phone and we talked for a while about all of our relationships until we were kicked out of Turlington.

I stopped to say hello at the neighbor's room and Leigh Anne told me that she fixed me something to eat and told me to go to my room so she can surprise me. I was rather impressed although I had eaten only a little while earlier. It was sesame chicken and all of the guys were jealous.

I really like Leigh Anne's roommates as well because every one of them is starting to show signs that they enjoy talking to me and telling me things. Leigh Anne and I hung out back and forth in the two rooms for a while.

We made love at three in the morning on a chair in her room.

November 6, 1993 - Saturday - Off to bed!, Fair, Laura

What a meal!!! I just made my first and very successful attempt at duplicating spaghetti like "mom use to make." I really don't care for all of the spices and shit they put into already made sauces so I finally deiced to spend the extra time to make it from scratch, well almost. I cooked up half a package of ground beef and cooked it forever with a huge can of tomato soup and a can of tomato paste. The room started smelling like the house used to every Tuesday night on "spaghetti night." It can out almost identically to a batch of her best and it was so nostalgic when I took the first bite! It was also really nice to have familiar, REAL food. I fully enjoyed it and have another full helping waiting in the fridge for tomorrow night.

Well, now for my life. So much has happened in the past two days that it's almost scary. Leigh Anne went dancing Thursday night with her roommates and wasn't going to be home until late. I took the wild chance that she might actually try to come over again when she got home, so I left the door unlocked again. Chris had already left for Jacksonville so I figured only Jon might screw it up this time. I didn't really expect her to come either, and I fell right to sleep.

Well, stupid me never finished this journal in time to get all of the facts straight. By this time we had already had sex four times, three Thursday evening alone! Actually two of those were early the next morning, but what does that matter?



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December 3, 1993 - this is what happens when I don't finish a journal and try to go back to it later on. In this case, the following account of the fair is a month late, although I found out after I wrote it that I had already done so in tomorrow's entry. I'm saving both for comparison's sake...



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Tonight I decided to try and make Leigh Anne jealous, not really I just wanted to let her know I have friends of my own to go out with and also wanted to keep ties open with the others. I saw Ashley downstairs today just as Leigh Anne, Michelle, Aimee and I were heading off to see the end of the football game. I asked her if she'd give me a call if they decided to go to the Alachua County Fair. I had just laid down for a quick nap when Ashley called later on and she asked me if I still wanted to go. I said definitely and got ready in less than ten minutes by her request. It turned out that we were waiting for Rob and he took forever to come and they used my fine example to rag on his tardiness.

Laura and I were joking around quite a bit while we waited downstairs for Rob before Ashley and I headed across the street to get her car. I told her about Leigh Anne while we were gone. We then all headed off to the fair. Jamee, Jana and LAura rode in his truck and the rest of us, including a friend of Rob's went with Ashley. ROb was being a sarcastic ass and I was being nice and sweet and I think Ashley really liked that. We entered the fair and walked around for a while looking at all of the food places. They all decided to eat and I declined because Leigh Anne had just previously fixed me dinner. I sat with Laura and Ashley and we talked quite a bit. Ashley and I made fun of Laura who was in a daze at one point and was staring right at the big fat greasy fair cook. Ashley then turned on me and said at least LAura's not sleeping with her neighbor. I laughed it off but was pissed she said it so dramatically in front of Laura.

We then split up from Jamee and Jana and went to look at all of the rides and games. Laura was being a real sweetheart and kept telling me to come walk with her. The carnies were getting really desperate because of a lack of people and were offering us all kinds of deals. I knew a lot of the shit they pulled because of the stuff Shar¡ told me about the games or else I might have fallen for one or two. Ashley got sucked into one guy's bullshit and was too nice to say no. I walked up and put my arms around her shoulders like I was the big protective boyfriend and walked her away. She thanked me and told Laura how I saved her later. That as cool.

Of course I had an ulterior motive, I was desperately looking for Michael, or hell even for Shar¡! amidst the games. there were all kinds of freaks and there were actually a couple of pretty attractive girls. One really seemed to like the way I was looking at her and I had fun flirting like that. We then walked over to see the livestock, mainly the rabbits. Laura and I reaffirmed our date at Busch Gardens sometime in the future. I then asked her if our engagement is still on. She said no, that she broke it off for another one. I looked at her kind of funny and was hurt a little. We both then realized the miscommunication as she meant that she broke off the old engagement and ours is still going strong. We walked with our arms around each other for a few minutes after that.

After the fair, we stopped by Kash n Karry so they could buy fruit juice to mix with their alcohol. I bought a jar of mayonnaise because I had forgotten to the other day at the store, but the shock value was just as fun. I told Laura and Ashley after I bought it that I plan on having a lot of fun tonight and hinted at my bag. They thought I was gross.

September 6, 1993 - Monday - Shari... I love you!!!!!

I just had what must of been the most wonderful weekend of my life!

It all started shaping Friday morning while I was working out with Ashley. Shar¡ was coming in the evening via Greyhound Bus and I wanted to buy her a present of sorts. I had thought about flowers and was secretly debating in the back of my head how many and of what kinds to get her. I pretty much knew they'd be roses. Jon and I were talking about where to find roses a ta decent price and picked out a few good places. Since Shar¡ proclaimed a hatred towards the Gators when I said I'd buy her a keychain, I pretty much ruled out the tons of stuff offered at the bookstores. Ashley told me to get her flowers, because she personally really likes to get flowers. Ashley was thinking more along the lines of a cheaper bouquet because I didn't tell her the extent of the relationship between me and the `girl who is coming to visit.' She was talking about going home for the weekend to see Daniel and said that she didn't know whether to feel happy or sad or confused. She made it sound like the guy means little to her anymore. This is only the second time she has even mentioned him to me and the other was because she was talking to Laura as well. It was cool knowing the story behind what she was saying to get the full effect of what she was saying and hiding.

I had become kind of doubty again by that time about Shar¡ and my relationship for some reason just because I was in eager anticipation of her letter and always become nervous when such deep yet unknown information is coming. I also didn't know whether or not she'd like flowers that much because they die and go away and I just wasn't sure if she is the flower type. I prayed to find her letter in the box as I walked home from my last class because I really wanted to see it before seeing her. My wishes were answered and I pulled out the envelope from our box. It said, `for your baby blues only,' and I showed that to the guys later and then asked them if they wanted to read it! It was really funny. She then had written, `Smell,' with small arrow pointing to a spot where she had sprayed a bit of her perfume so the letter would smell like her. That was pretty cool and I really liked it. She also have put quotes around the word `LOVE' on the stamp on the front.

The letter went like this:



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* Love Ya Georgious *
Dan, August 30, 93
Hey I just got your letter and I read it over and over again. I am glad every one knows about me up there so if they ever see you with anyone else they can say hey what about "Shar¡." But I don't think you would want anyone else but me. I am happy that you are "in-love" or are you? Because I know I am, more than words can say. I was also scared to show or tell you how I really felt, but then I said well if I don't then you would never know. Now that I got your letter and know how you feel.... I am glad that I did give you that letter - "I ment every word of it." At first I didn't want any real commitments but then I realized how much I cared for you when you left and how much I enjoyed you being here while you were here. I also noticed how you and Cord got along and how much he enjoyed you. Then I realized that you are the first person that wasn't out for just my body, you were also interested in me. Then my heart said, "wait a minute, you haven't felt this way in a long time so you better speak up and say something." And my mind said, "he's not only interested in you, but you're little one to, and you're not going to find to many guys out there like that." I really don't want to find another one, I am satisfied with the one I have. Are you sure you can deal with an all ready made family??? I just don't want to let my guard down and get closer to you and then you say wait a minute I am not ready for someone that has a little kid already. As far as forgetting about you, "There's no way in HELL," I have 6 photos of you in my wallet, and you're ring, and most of all you are in my heart and mind every minute of every day. Every time I think about you I get a picture and look at it for hours. I sit there and think I wish I could be there with you to hold you and kiss you, give you the affectionate a dud needs. It really ment alot to me that you were there when I was in the hospital because that was when I needed somebody and it was Daddy Dan that cared enough to come see me and be with me almost every day. You mean alot to me and Cord even though Cord doesn't really know how to tell you, but I can tell because before he gets off the phone with you he gives kisses and says oud you ("Love You") and you are the only person he does that to every time. BEsides my mother but she's his granny. Well I can't wait until this weekend. I am coming up there with or without Cord just as long as I get to come and see you. I really miss you lots and can't wait to see ya. And by the way you are right about the potential thing.

Bye sexy!!!
Love Shar¡ (heart)
P.S. I am not going to say write me because hopefully I'll be up there FRIDAY.

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Of course I was elated!!! I walked soon afterwards to a florist downtown that was offering a dozen European-wrapped long-stemmed roses for $9.95 with a coupon. That's pretty damn cheap! They were huge and looked gorgeous! I had her put in one yellow rose for friendship and I bought a card. It has and entire paragraph on the front of a shy little cat that says sometimes when someone has very strong feelings for someone but is a little shy, he finds it hard to express the way he or she truly feels... The inside then says, `Nevermind.' I loved it because I used to say that all of the time and thought it was ironically funny. I stopped by the gas station on the walk home and bought her two packs of cigarettes as well.

The traffic along 13th Street on the walk home was moving almost as slow as I was and I kept hearing remarks from the cars full of girls like, `That's sweet!' and so forth. It was really cool. I just really didn't want to run into any girls that I know. Jon was extremely impressed with the deal that I had found and said that I did a damn good job. I stood the roses in water so they wouldn't die any more. I showed them to Roswitha, Ed's girlfriend just so he'd fell even shittier about not ever getting her any. I ended up talking to Laura for a little while and told her what Ashley hasn't said to me about Daniel. She thought it was unbelievable and it was pretty funny.

At 9;30, Chris and I drove to pick up Shar¡ at the bus station. The place is in the black part of town and is pretty scary at night. We saw some prostitutes walking around on the way there and laughed about them. When we pulled into the parking lot I could see Shar¡ standing there by herself amidst all of the blacks. Chris instantly picked her out and we went and said hello. We checked her bag out and I carried it to the car and got in the back seat letting her ride shotgun. We talked on the way home about her trip and everything else. She met Jon when we got back to the room. Chris had gotten in touch with Dave and Hector and there was talk of a trip to Tampa to go clubbing. I joked to Shar¡ that we were going back to Tampa for the night right after she got here. His plans fell through, though and he and Jon decided to go to this reggae party that they had heard about. It was anything but appealing and we decided not to go along.

Jon kept telling Chris that he should sleep in Ed's bed when they get back. He didn't like the idea at first but said he would if Jon would shut up about it. That was really cool after he decided not to head to Jacksonville until Sunday morning. Shar¡ took a smoke break every once in a while and we would go downstairs to do so. The second time we walked down past the swimming pool before coming back. I fixed a big plate of French fries that she fed to me with tons of ketchup. We talked a lot about eating habits which was pretty funny. We have both told each other that we don't really like touching feet, but after pulling off our shoes I gave her an awesome foot massage that she really enjoyed! I figured what the hell since she's caused me to realize that there are so many things that can and should be enjoyed that I dislike so why not give it a try?

We also took a long time looking at the new set of pictures and talking about her new letter a little bit. She admitted that almost he entire roll came out awesome and she took about six more that I had saved for her to get when she came up. She showed me how she has cut the other six to fit in her wallet and it actually looks pretty good. She said that she was sitting next to this old guy on the trip up and she showed him all of the pictures of us. It was pretty cute. The neighbors wandered over every once in a while and Leigh Anne introduced herself to Shar¡. They wandered over periodically all weekend which accounted for some rather weird events. The big one came over once while I was standing in the bathroom and Shar¡ was in the kitchen. Shar¡ yelled for her to come in and she just stuck her head through the door and asked me what high school I went to. I told her and she was gone as quick as she had appeared. I kept a completely normal face like that was a normal event and went back into the bathroom.

It had been at least two hours since the guys had left and we had only taken off our shoes. I laughed to myself about how disappointed Chris would be if we were still dressed and sitting in the same place when they had left us alone to ourselves so generously. But that wasn't meant to be. We were both kind of tired and cold so we went into the bedroom and she hopped up into my bed and got under the covers. I kind of just stood there leaning my arms and head on the bed. I did that quite often over the weekend and she would always start laughing in disbelief that I am so tall that I can stand at a bunked bed and lean on it the way I was! I turned out the lights and shut he door before hopping up into the bed. She told me a story on the phone once last week about a camp she went to once and how she was terrified of sleeping on the top bunk. Thus she got the wall. She kept half-joking that we were going to fall off of that little bed but I knew that I wouldn't because I have a really good sense of balance, even asleep.

We started kissing and started caressing each other. We started to undress each other and were holding each other tight. It feels so good to feel her skin to skin and to hug affectionately the way we do.

[Big Snip!]

She told me that she's really glad that we met in a very truthful voice. I ended up by the wall and asked her if she wanted to switch even though we had just arranged the covers. She thought about it for a few seconds and then said a definite yes and we did. It was cute. We slept really good all night. I remember waking up once to see Chris asking me if I wanted him to sleep in the other room or not. I was still half asleep and didn't really know what he was saying so I said yes and effectively sent him away. I woke up at eight and she would wake up every twenty minutes and would fall asleep after we would talk for a few. She was laying on me once and told me that I look really cute in the morning. She took a picture of me laying there when she got up to pee and I took one of her running around in a sheet.

We got up towards eleven and I cooked her French toast for breakfast. It came out rather well thankfully. We took a walk downstairs in our pajamas so that she could smoke which was cool because anybody that saw us knew that we screwed because we looked fresh out of bed. We got back in the elevator with a girl and her mom and dad which was kind of funny. It's stereotypical college and probably filled there minds with doubts about the whole idea.

We then took our first shower together which was cool. She likes the water boiling hot!!! which kind of sucks but I got more than used to it by this morning. I stayed in after she got out and cooled down for a few minutes. We then got ready to go out for a while. We planned on going to McDonalds for lunch and just walking around on campus. She was fooled by the cold air in the room and put on too many clothes. We made it as far as the pool before coming back so Shar¡ could put on her bikini top. She had accidentally pulled the cord out of one of the cups and asked if I could get it back in. I used a pen and rethreaded it. I felt great to be useful and I was really glad that I was able to fix it for her. Ed's parents showed up while she was getting ready and I introduced them all. I know they looked down on her because she looked trampy and I just laughed to myself. I wanted to head out before they asked me to help them put the bar together. Shar¡ did tell Ed's mom all excitedly about the roses and showed them to her. That made me feel really good. We then left and first walked to Eckerds so she could get a hair tie and a lighter. This is the first time she has ever worn her hair up and liked it because the tie was bigger and matched her bathing suit. It was cool because Cindy Bush was walking around in Eckerds and had to have see me with Shar¡.

We then went to eat and each had a hamburger, fries, and a drink. Shar¡ asked how their banana milkshakes taste and they actually gave us a kid size sample. It tasted like melted banana pudding pops like the ones I ate in the hospital back when I had surgery. It was pretty nasty. We talked and joked around quite a bit with each other before finally heading out. We decide to walk down University Avenue to check out all of the stores and all of the stuff going on because it was a game day. She has been looking for a pair of sunglasses forever and said that she brought money and was determined to buy a pair up here. She had looked at Busch Gardens and I found something wrong with all of them. We looked in all of the shops and finally found a good pair in one of the bookstores. She wanted to walk back and get money and I decided that we'd come back right before going to the football game.

We kept looking in all of the stores and kept seeing people wearing these cool little facial stickers that were either Gators or said Gators. They were pretty cool and we looked until we found some. After a while we headed home and hung out for a while until Ed and his parents finally left to go get groceries. His mom asked if I wanted anything and I remember Shar¡ asking me if I had any deli meat. I asked her what she wanted and asked them for a pound of ham. Once everybody was gone we made out for a little bit and then put our stickers on. You have to use a damp cloth and hold it there for a while to get the thing off of the paper and onto your face. She applied one to my cheek first and then I did one on her. I told her it would look cool if there was one right between her boobs on the line her bikini makes. I pulled the fronts apart a little and applied one there.

They had been giving out these round orange stickers about two inches across out in front of the bookstores that said Gators and advertised their store. We put one on each tit like they were bright orange nipples. It was pretty funny but she didn't want to wear it out in public. We did take pictures of each other, though. We headed back out to the stores a while later and bought her glasses. We then walked to Burger King and ordered a chicken sandwich and a couple of chocolate milkshakes. We split the sandwich which was really good and talked about all of the people that were walking by. I was glad to see her getting in the spirit of the game by wearing the stickers and all. We headed over towards the beginning of the game and headed in. Ed and Roswitha had gotten our tickets in a block and Chris had shown up with one the night before. I used it to get Shar¡ through the main gate and then we just snuck past the usher and sat in seats next to each other. The others showed up soon afterwards and we watched the game.

It was pretty cool but exceedingly long and we left at the end of the third quarter with the score being 44 to 6 in our favor. Shar¡ and I walked behind everybody else and talked and hung on each other. When we got back to the room we ate and tried to figure out what to do for the night. I kind of wanted to be trapped in the room with Shar¡ all night and hoed they'd decide to do something stupid. One of the idiots mentioned Monopoly and Shar¡ joked that we should play Trivial Pursuit thinking back to that night at Wayne's apartment. Someone heard her and I offered my set to them figuring it would keep them busy and tire them out. We still kept on the notion that we'd either go to a party or dancing afterwards so Shar¡ and I slowly got ready.

While the others were in Jon and Ed's room we went and took a shower together. We listened to music on the radio the whole time off of a tape I had recorded just for the weekend. It had some dance stuff, rock, and reggae on it. We had been drinking beer while we were walking around and I carried mine downstairs in my bicycle water jug when she wanted to smoke. I wanted to just sit down for a while and talk to her but she kept running around. I know now that I should have said something. She went into the game room once and I went into mine and laid my arms and head down on my bed to rest. I was determined to wait until she came and got me. I heard when she came in the room and she then sat down on the chair. I almost lifted my head once but didn't. She finally through a lighter at me and laughed as she asked me what I was doing and said that she had been sitting there for five minutes just watching me.

When the time came around to go out once their game was over, Ed and Roswitha quickly split over to her house. Jon went to sleep and Chris was debating whether or not to go out. We sat there talking for a long ass time until he finally decided that since he was leaving for Jacksonville in the morning, he needed to go to sleep and headed off to Ed's bed. I was almost in the mood to go to a party by then but oh well. We peeled our shoes back off and I rubbed her feet a little. She then went and climbed in bed and asked for a plate of French fries. I joked to myself that we have to get our energy from something before sex, so why not let it be fries again? I went back out and started a batch and then came back in the room and talked to her while they got ready. We ate them and drank Pepsi up in my bed. I was already stripped down to just my Gator boxers which I really like now.

After we finished I killed the lights, turned on the fan, and climbed in bed. Chris was still up reading a book in the other room but he had already gotten his pillow and all which is cool. I massaged her back for a long while rubbing the tips of my fingers ever so lightly over every exposed inch of her back and shoulders. I try to imagine how I would enjoy the massage myself and in turn do that to her. I also like to slide my finger along the upper line of her shorts and where her skin touches me or the bed. It feels really good to her. She always wants me to do it more and I am more than happy to. She told me once to think of all the times I'll have to rub her back when we're living together and I corrected her saying how many times I'll GET to rub her back.

I also love how easy it is to get her out of her clothes. She knows how to move perfectly to make it really easy to get them off even when she's under you. She then told me to do her stomach and I massaged from there up around and onto her tits, down her arms, and along her shoulders and neck. I also have a massage where I'll move so lightly that it tickles over a small region and then I'll press my entire hand over the area to calm it down, I then keep continuing all over in a flowing fucking motion with my hand. That had to have felt good. We started making out and rubbing our hands all over each other.

[Big Snip!]

She looked at me and whispered, `That was awesome!' with this just-fucked smile on her face. That meant a lot. She wanted to take a cigarette break even though it was after three in the morning so we put on some clothes and headed downstairs. I only wore my boxers and there would have been no guessing to what we were doing. It was pretty bright in the hallways after coming out of the dark. Shar¡ smoked two cigarettes straight and we laughed about that. We worked our way back upstairs and had some Pepsi before going to bed.

I woke up earlier than she did and decided to go take a shower and brush my teeth before she woke up. When I came back she rolled over to see me about ready to hop into bed. She asked me what I was doing down there and I surprised her when I said that I had been out of bed for half an hour. She said that she didn't even feel me get out. I had been extra careful that she didn't. She really likes to lay on my bare chest with her face and just enjoy me while she's waking up. She got up once when we heard Chris and Jon in the other room to pee. She came back and we started making out and got to the point where we were completely undressed except for her pajama shorts. She kept asking if I was going to get up and make her breakfast and let her take a shower when we would stop for a few seconds and I really didn't want to start screwing if she wanted to get up soon.

It was already lunchtime and I showed her the big tray of fettucini in the freezer so I made that along with ham sandwiches and French fries. It came out really good and she memorized the box so she could get it at home. That was a really cool meal. We decided to go play pool downstairs soon afterwards and she put on her convenient zipper outfit. While she was getting ready we were talking about images and she said that she knows people think she's a tramp because of the stuff she wears. She said she's not at all, it's just the way she dresses nd it's not fair. I told her that I was spared of that first impression when I met her because she was wearing what half of the girls wear to Busch Gardens and she agreed. She did say that a couple of girls had looked at her funnily because of her outfit. I did admit that my first attraction to her was physical just because of the situation we were in. We had only seen each other and I liked what I saw. There was nothing else at that time to base my opinion on until I did meet her and get to actually talk to her.

She looked really good as we went downstairs and ordered the pool equipment. I took my two new sticks and borrowed one of theirs to break with. It turns out that we are almost exactly matched as players which is really cool. I was so glad that after all summer of no playing, I was getting in some pretty damn good shots. So was she and we split the games evenly. We almost always ended up with the loser only having one or two balls left on the table. I really enjoyed playing with her.

When we started walking back upstairs we saw Ed and Roswitha sitting on a bench waiting for a pizza. I asked to borrow Ed's old bike because she wanted to go to Lake Alice via bicycle. He said yes and we went upstairs so that she could change her clothes. She put on her bike shorts and T-shirt that she had worn up on the bus. While she was getting ready I pulled out my award book and let her look at it for a second. After she had looked at the first one I moved to pull it away just in case it didn't interest her but it did and she wanted to read every one. She told me that she has a lot of awards from little school and said that she did really well when she actually went. She was really surprised to find out that I went to Potter because she did, too. I think if she would have actually been motivated in school she is smart enough that she could have kicked ass all over the place. She is really logic smart and it all pertains to the real world in her case which is probably why I enjoy talking with her so much.

I let her use my bike just in case Ed's were to fall apart. We rode down to the park and then along the boardwalks for a while. We then rode to the grassy edge of the lake and found a secluded spot under some trees to lay out a towel and just relax by the edge of the. She laid perpendicular to me and put her head against my legs. It was really peaceful and she said that she really likes it in Gainesville but only as a place to visit, not to live, and I fully agree.

She asked me once if when I read a letter from her, do I actually hear her voice as I read it. I told her to not say anymore and I pulled a flashback in my head to remember if I did or not when I got her letter on Friday. I realized that I do and told her so. She seemed really interested in that which was kind of funny. She finally said that we need to start heading back so before she gets so relaxed that she doesn't want to make the trip back. We did and took a quick look at Fraternity Row and stopped by the ATM in the Reitz Union. When we got back we looked through my photo album and at some of my yearbooks. She told me that her dad said that he likes me so much because I am rally smart and have goals yet I don't act all stuck up like I don't want to associate with normal people. I then showed Shar¡ some of my signatures in my yearbook like the one from Andrea where she called me a cocky asshole. It was kind of funny.

She really wanted to read my little planner because she knows that I write down the stuff that I do in it. I was reluctant to to do so but did show her a few weeks worth including the time she was in the hospital. I also showed her my computer journal. She told me that she used to write a journal on a computer that belonged to someone in Michael's family until they one day figured out her password and read it. She then found Chris' erotic porno cards on the table and was looking at them. She told me that she doesn't see what's so erotic about a chic sucking a guys dick and I said how unfortunate. When she got to the ones with two girls she got disgusted and made some cute noises to go along with it like the ones high school girls would make if you'd say something perverted. It was kind of cool to know that she isn't as sexual as she makes out to be.

We decided to walk to Burger King for dinner even though it was after dark. Ed, Roswitha, and Jon had all been in the room and Ed brought up this thing he had read about chocolate having the same endomorphines that your body produces when you have sex. That led to a really interesting conversation for Shar¡ and I. We had this coupon to get a free chicken sandwich with a whopper and I then ordered a drink and fries and a CHOCOLATE shake for her. the guy taking our order sounded like he was stoned and the other fat black guy had a Jamaican woman's voice. The whole place seemed nutty and I wondered if we had somehow gotten stoned.

We had a really good dinner. We talked about abortion again and she told me that she could never have an abortion. She also said that she would never put a kid up for adoption either because you become attached when carrying a baby around for nine months. She asked me if I saw.. and I knew instantly what she was talking about and interrupted her about the teenage guy trying to get his baby back from a family in Tampa after his girlfriend put it up for adoption. Shar¡ thought it was cool that I knew what she was talking about. She also said that it pisses her off that some girls use abortion as a means of contraception and so forth. We then started talking about her being pissed off. We have never had an argument and she told me that she hopes I never have to see her truly pissed off because she gets violent and starts throwing things. She said that she had to learn to defend herself with Michael after he gave her a black eye when she was six months pregnant with Cord!

We (actually I) have been creating a little fantasy world all weekend where we would escape to. It consists of a little hut out in Jamaica modeled after Kimmeth and my dreams. We have Shar¡'s jeep to go driving through the mountains and the three of us are all there with our awesome tans and so forth. I'd add something to the scene every time one of us would bring up a dream about the future. After she was talking about being pissed I told her that we'd have to dig a big hole out next to her jeep and fill it full of pillows and beach balls and soft stuff of the sort for her to throw tantrums in when she gets pissed. I then said that we'd call it the Nut Pit and we both started laughing really hard. It was pretty funny. She was also talking about guys in general and said that 95% of them are uncaring and are just out for sex and so on. I then fought back saying that 95% of women believe that falsity and it really hurts those of us that are genuinely nice!!! It worked out pretty coolly.

I then just stared at her once and when she asked me what I was thinking I told her that I enjoy watching her drink her sex! We then were making all kinds of perverted little jokes about liquid sex and all. I then brought up Jon's and my talk about fantasies and told her my main ones. I told her about the classroom one in GPA as we walked by hoping she's say let's go. After last night's talk I'd say let's go next time. I mentioned the beach and then we were talking about having sex in a nice warm rainstorm. I confronted her with the problem that the girl might start choking as the rain went up her nose and she started laughing really hard. It was pretty funny. She was still carrying her milkshake and when she finally finished, I asked her if she wanted to cuddle. We were almost outside of Beaty and she asked why? and I told her that she just finished having sex!!!

When we got home we went and took a shower pretty soon afterwards. We slicked up and held each other tight. It felt pretty good. She got out first so that I could cool down for a few minutes. When I came into the room she was in bed wearing her baseball pajama top and her leopard thong underwear. I put on my boxers and hopped into bed. She joked that she wanted French fries but I quickly curbed her desire. We kissed and then she asked if I'd rub her back. I intended on a full body massage this time and pulled off her shirt and underwear. I pulled the soft tickle over her entire back half. I worked down over her butt and legs which she had bent at the knees towards me to make the reach easier. I traced ever crease in her skin including the one between her butt and back thigh right down between her legs. That's the really sensitive one especially on the front.

After going over her twice, I rolled her over and went to work on the front. She was extremely relaxed and turned on at the same time as I then moved up to her face and touched and tickled the whole thing. As I pulled my fingers away ever so slightly moving them in a slight circle almost to signify and end to the `massage' I leant over with her eyes still closed and kissed her softly. We then took each other in our arms and started kissing very passionately.

[Snip]

This time I was determined to get at least part of a massage and she obliged. She did make fun of my whit butt as I was lying there because it `glowed' so brightly even in the night. She had me roll over and after massaging my front she ended up with my dick in her hand and was kissing my nipples and licking them the same way I had done her just a little while earlier. She then came back up and started kissing me. She stopped after a bit and looked at me and I told her that she didn't have to stop. She asked if I wanted her to keep on what she was doing or to carry it further. I told her to carry it further and if she runs out of ideas she can always draw a card. It took her a second but then she started laughing. She then got a little serious and said that she draws the line at sucking a guy's dick and wanted to set that straight. It was cute although once again I'll be deprived of one of the few things I've never had done to me.

She then got on top again and I asked her if she wanted to be and she said yes. We then had the best sex of the weekend and the best sex of my life!!!

[Snip!]

I told her once that I never knew that slow sex could be so good and she really liked that. When we finished almost two hours later!!! We just lay there holding each other tight and then started talking. I asked her if I was better than the milkshake and she said definitely. We then were trying to pull stuff out of each other's heads. She then asked me if I have trouble expressing my emotions. I admitted that I am still a little shy for she had ready my gifted psychological report from 5th grade in my yearbook. Not only did Linda Horowitz say that I have very pretty eyes and long eyelashes but also that I am shy and have trouble answering questions if I am unsure of my response. I thought it would possibly be beneficial to let Shar¡ see that.

We then started talking about sex. She asked me if I talk about sex easier than my feelings and I said that we'd have to find out. I just opened up and we both essentially spilt our guts. She told me about liking to have sex for up to four hours at a time and likes to take it slow. She asked me how long I can go and asked if I should rest for say half an hour and then get back into it. I asked what time it was and then said yes I could because it had been half an hour! I said that I'd be more than willing to accommodate her lengthy desires as long as she wants to take it upon herself to take the top for a majority of the time.

She asked me how many girls I've slept with and I said two. She asked if she was the third and a million thought raced through my head during that instance. Should I tell her yes so that she won't think i'm too unexperienced or tell her the truth so I won't have to lie to her for the rest of my life? That answered my question and I said no, that she was my second. She really seemed to like that fact! I told her that I could tell her when as well and she wanted to know. I said December 28, 1993 and she exclaimed (and reminded me) that it's been nine months!!! I told her that relationship ended when her boyfriend found out and she really started laughing about that. She told me that she has been with four or five guys which was happily low on my pessimistic expectation scale. She told me that she's sorry to bring him up but she never really enjoyed having sex with Michael because he would put it in, satisfy himself, and then be about his merry business. She said that she refused to have sex with him at all the third time he came back. She told me that she really enjoys having sex and needs the affection.

She then asked me if I'm daring. I told her that I'd take her out in the pit right now and have sex with her. She was taken back a little and said that she guesses I am and then we started talking about sexual positions. She asked me what all I've tried. I said at the beach, on a park bench, on top underneath, and sitting up. She kind of got embarrassed to ask this but I made her spit it out: she asked me if I ever wanted to try it doggy style and I said yes. She told me both ways to do it, one with the girl on all fours and the other with her standing against the wall. We agreed to try it. I said that it sucks that we won't have a chance this time to try my GPA fantasy to which she said that I should have said something earlier and that there will be a next time! She then told me about all of the places she's had sex from a boat to an elevator to the table, sink, beach, shower, pool, and more. It doesn't bother me because hopefully this was mainly with Michael, her husband. We said that we'll have to start trying things.

She then asked me If I have a certain time of the day when I like sex. I laughed and told her that since I haven't been married I haven't had the opportunities to have sex around the clock. She liked that and we essentially said that we'd have to change that. She did say that she was trying to get me aroused this morning and I complained that I was but she kept saying she wanted to get up soon. She then told me that she puts sex before eating, sleeping, and almost anything else! We let it rest and I knew that I wouldn't let her get away in the morning without making love. I did admit to her that after sex I always get hungry. She kind of liked that and said that I could get something while she smoked so I had to go downstairs with her. She bought some Zingers and I got a Zero bar. She has never seen them before and as I pulled it out I told her that it's my prejudice candy bar because it's all white. It was pretty funny. We ate in my bed and then talked and cuddled a little more before going to sleep. I was wide awake and told her so but oh well.

I woke up early again and took a warm shower to defrost and to brush my teeth. I then slowly and gently woke her up. Once she had, she pulled off my shirt and laid on my warmth. I started rubbing her back with my hands and extending them down into her underwear. We finally started going and she was rather kissy all over my neck, chest, and mouth. I licked her all over and then went down on her. I then moved back up and started kissing her and before long I was in her. I didn't last very long but never let her know the difference as I kept on going rather quickly inside her. We had no regards for anybody else in the other room at all. I slowed down for her for a little while until I got tired. I then slowed down and started kissing her. I eventually stopped and we smiled and looked at each other. I then told her that it's half time, we have to switch courts!!! and she started cracking up. It was really funny and she was more than happy to hop up on top! We then kept going for quite a while until we finally just held each other for our cool off period. She whispered, `I love you!!!' to me very softly and I said it back to her instantly! That was awesome! I though I had heard her say it once towards my ear last night but I wasn't sure. She also called me sexy to my face while we were lying there.

We eventually got up and I cooked her a French toast breakfast while she ran downstairs to smoke a cigarette. She fed me a few bites of her food but I ate the leftover fettucini mainly. We were kind of worried about finding her a ride to the bus station by 2:30 and I was ready to call a cab. I did tell her that Ed didn't have his bookbag and would start feeling guilty after a while and should walk in. A few minutes later he did and said that he would drive us over. I was pretty happy. We then went and laid down in bed with her on top of me for quite a while just holding each other tightly and kissing. it was our physical way of saying goodbye. We then got up and took our last shower together for the weekend even though I just had one a little while earlier. She used a washcloth and washed me down with soap and I insisted that we hold each other all slimy. I thought it felt rather interesting and didn't want to let go.

We started kissing and moved into the stream of water to rinse off. She then pulled both of our heads under the water. it didn't bother me at all and I kept kissing her just as good as before but she started laughing saying that it felt weird. We then kept going for a little bit longer before getting out. I just realized that I almost forgot her best kiss! The other night she just came out with her tongue and pointed it, licking my lips and my teeth and my tongue as well. It felt awesome, almost like what she should be doing if she were giving a blow job. I told her that I really liked it when she first did it and we keep doing it all of the time now. We'll even run our tongues all over each others without our lips touching at all. It's pretty cool.

I also told her once on the phone last week that I miss her kiss. It did sound kind of corny and I didn't know how she took it after she didn't say anything about it. She was kissing me in bed once and she popped out with, `I'll miss your kiss, too!' which meant that she had listened and remembered and thought about what I had said! I liked that. We then quickly packed her stuff and met Ed downstairs. I had him leave us at the bus station and thanked him telling him that I'd walk home but if I didn't make it by seven to call the cops! Shar¡ said the same thing at the same time and we laughed. She was all excited that her roses lived as well as they did because she really wanted to take them home and show them off. That's really cool, too. We sat on a bench outside at the station and talked and kissed for our last half hour and she told me again how much she really wishes I was coming home now with her. When the bus came she boarded and I headed home.

I had a while to think on the way home. One of the best things about our relationship is our compatibility. We get along perfectly, we play pool the same, we have plenty of the same tastes, and from what I've seen, heard, and felt - we get along very well sexually. We have the potential for an awesome relationship that I hope will continue to grow to ultimate proportions.

December 29, 1992 - Tuesday - Take two, not as good.

I received a phone call from Abigail today at about twelve. I had just waken up an hour earlier. She was at her little photography job over on Memorial Avenue. She wanted to know what's up. If she hadn't called, I probably would have never talked to her over this break. I just wasn't really up to talking to her right now. She asked me why I never wrote her back. I had already conceived a nice little lie to cover that one, I told her that I wrote her and asked one of my roommates to mail it, and he must of lost it. It worked. She was getting off from work at one and asked me if I wanted to visit her. I eventually said yes and we decided on meeting at her house at two. She drives her parents' car to work and picks them up, so there was no fear that they'd mysteriously pop up at a bad time.

We talked for a while and played with her new little dog for a little while. we eventually got to the point where she wanted a back massage in return for the one she gave me back in high school. I asked her if she had any baby oil, and we ended up finding some hand lotion. She went and took off her shirt and bra and came back in, covering up with her shirt, and laid down on the couch. I gave her a half hour massage, and she said that i'm actually pretty good at it. We then got to the point where she got up and was walking around showing off her breasts. She was trying to play mind games with me by asking me all kinds of questions about my feelings. She wasn't being fair with some of the stuff she was saying and later admitted that she was playing mind games.

We only had a half hour left when we first kissed. I soon started feeling her breasts, and then complained about her still being clothed. She kept asking me if I was encouraged enough yet. It was sort of a joke between us. We eventually were standing up kissing in the center of the room. We only had fifteen minutes left. I took off my shirt and went for her belt and jeans. She started on my shorts. We very quickly were into each other's underwear. She started laying with my dick and i pulled her close and kissed her deeply. I then asked if we could find a place to lie down. We were both still in our socks. We went into her bedroom and cleaned off her bed. I ran and got my condom and we went at it. I think she came but I never did. We rushed pretty quick and it really sucked. My wife is really going to love me, I'm easily persuaded, and can go a long time having sex...

I guess we parted on pretty decent terms. She told me to make sure and call her the next time I'm down. Since I might not have my car, I joked that I'd see her in May! She said to call then, or at least write. I guess I will. Right now I'm really thinking that I don't ever want to see her again. Maybe I'll change my mind later, but I doubt it. It was good the first time, but that almost eighteen years of suppression. I want better now. Seriously.

For the record, I was screwing at 4:30, five minutes before, and five minutes after.

I went to Kash n Karry afterwards and picked up some stuff that mother gave me money for before I left. One was ice cream for the chocolate cake I made before I left for Abby's earlier today. I then went to Eckerds and picked up the reprints of the picture of Cathy and I in the water at Sand Key. I had mailed the other two to Tracey and to my new german pen pal, Natalie.

When I got home, I called Kim. She was sleeping so we only talked for a second. I asked her if she'd call me back later. I then went to sleep until about 7:45. I then called Melissa Aubin's parents' house in Pace. Her mom told me that she is at her grandparents' house. I then called there. Her grandmother answered. I asked if Melissa is there, and she said no, that she just left about ten minutes ago. She didn't know when she was coming back, and then asked who's calling. I said that this is Dan down in Tampa. She suddenly said, 'Oh my!' I asked her if she'd tell her that I called and she said yes. She had a very pretty grandmothery voice and seemed very nice. It was weird the way she said, 'Oh my!' It almost sounded like Melissa was talking about me to her, like she had been expecting my call for a while and then was upset that I hadn't. It was interesting.

October 18, 1992 - Monday - October 18, 1992 - Monday

October 18, 1992 - Monday
To think, I come all the way to the University of Florida to go to school, and I have to go back home to Tampa to get laid. So, I've had sex, and it was pretty good. The other funny part is that she turned out being Abby.

Thursday night I went and met Cheryl out in front of the room where we were taking the computer mid-term and we talked for a little while. The test was a pain in the ass because Girish makes so many mistakes and sometimes has trouble getting his point across in English. It's not that hard for me to figure out what he wants, but I feel sorry for a lot of those people. This Indian woman teachers one of the other sections of the class and I kept flirting with her as often as I could. It was funny. I, of course, was the first person finished and I hurried back to my dorm so I could head for home. I'm really glad Jon leant me his glasses because it would have been a real bitch driving in the dark for me.

During, parts of my trip, there was nobody near me and I took my car up to at least one hundred miles per hour for a little ways. It's an awesome feeling going so fast. I had complete control over my car. It was great. I was in my dorm at 7:30 and was in my house by 9:30. That's fast. I sat around and caught up with my family before going to bed.

Chrissy and Cathy had school off on Friday, which I had no idea, so we all got up early and went to Sand Key. There were hardly any people there which made it that much better. I set up the cabana. Cathy and I started digging a hole and making a mountain out of the sand. She hasn't been to the beach very often and I wanted her to have some of those childhood 'at the beach' memories that I like so much. We ended up digging a huge three foot deep hole that filled up with water. She thought it was really neat and was jumping down into it. Then we went swimming. Chrissy and mother were on their periods. Ha ha. Cathleen really took to the water, she wasn't afraid at all. It was a bit cool being the middle of October, but it was very bearable. My family hasn't seen me with my shirt off in a long time because they have never been to the beach with me at all this year. I was already surprisingly dark. Running around like we did all day, I got a more even tan all over. Right now, my tan is beautiful.

After we got home I called Abby for old times' sake. We hadn't talked since about the middle of the summer, so she never got to give me her address so that I could write her. I could have called, especially right before I left but I was busy, and for a long time over the summer, she was up with her relatives in Massachusetts. She told me to come over and visit for a little while and I did. Her mom came home about forty-five minutes after I got there. We just sat around and caught up and did a little revealing. I asked her if she is still seeing Dave. She said yes, and it's been five months. They've even been having sex now for about a month.

We then started talking about why we never went out in high school and I was being really open. She said that she really likes how I talk a lot more now. I told her that for a while, I didn't really pick up on her hints, and then that I didn't ask her out because we became pretty good friends and I was afraid of turning her away by being forward. That was before I realized how wonderful and gorgeous I am. I asked her why she went out with David in the first place. She said that she sort of stopped chasing me at the very end because I was going away to Gainesville. We joked around about having sex until her mom came and it was about time for me to go. She came outside with me and I asked her what she was doing on Saturday. She said that she would be finished with her class at HCC by two, but she has to take pictures at Berkely Prep's homecoming later at night. She told me to call her and come over after two. We hugged, she called me a coward for never acting on my promises, and I went home.

I also tried calling Jon's girlfriend, Karen, over the weekend, but I think she is on a road trip with the USF girl's volleyball team. I was just going to say hi and possibly surprise her that I was down in Tampa.

After I got home from Abby's house at about nine, I called Kimmeth. She has a boyfriend now that goes to USf and is a year older than she is. I congratulated her for finding a guy that is her age this time. We talked for quite a while before finally deciding what we were going to do over the weekend. We ended up saying that we'd call each other at ten on Saturday morning and go out for breakfast at Denny's.

I was up early and this time had a shower and was already dressed when I called her. Usually I'm not ready and it takes me a really long time to get to her house. I called her at 10:10, and she answered the phone and told me that her ducks were running down the street and she'd call me back. And she did. It turned out that a big dog had gotten into her backyard and had chased her mom's ducks out of the yard while chewing on one of them. She saved the one duck and then had to lead the others back into the yard. It sounded like a really funny story and we were both laughing. We talked for a little while before I left to pick her up. I thought to myself that we shouldn't do all of our talking over the phone, because then we won't know what to say while we're eating. When I got to her house she was on the phone with Teresa, her friend from St. Louis. She's the one that always got in our way when we planned on doing something. Kim thought it was funny.

We ended up not getting to Denny's until lunch time. She still ordered a big breakfast, and I used a coupon from the paper to buy one lunch, get one free. That gave us twice the French fries to munch on. We wee joking about those, too. There were these little cardboard signs on the tables that said, 'THE FRIES HAVE IT! And it's a zesty ne flavor: seasoned fries. For an additional 25›, you can substitute these new fries for regular French fries.' We thought it was funny, so we stole it and she signed it when we got out to the car. She wrote, 'To Dan, Fries Forever. Julia Roberts,' and then signed 'Kimmeth' on the inside. We talked a lot and had a really good conversation.

She mentioned again about wanting to come up to Gainesville to visit me soon. She wants to take a shorter road trip before driving all five hours to Ft. Lauderdale. She asked me where she was going to sleep, and I told her that she'd be in my room, of course. I also told her that we have open visitation hours so it won't matter if she is there. She staid with her ex-boyfriend who is in the Air Force once when she was eighteen and the Military Police busted in and took her into custody because she was sleeping in his room. I can see why she might possibly be concerned.

After lunch, I drove he home and she invited me up to finally see some of her paintings. She told me to definitely not looking her room. Before today I had never even been in her house. It told her that I like it because it is rustic and reminds me of Georgia. It has that wooden house smell that is really cool. One of her paintings is of a nude girl swimming in the ocean so she was asking me if I had either an ID or parental consent to see it since I am under eighteen. Her mom laughed that she'd show me that painting but wouldn't let me see her room. I looked in her room anyway and she yelled at me. We took the painting out on the porch and sat down. She had a small one of a pelican that I would have bought to hang up here. She is really good. She had a very large painting of purple passion flowers that was beautiful. The detail was perfect. I was amazed. I told her that if I ever need a mural painted on my house in the future, I'd give her a call, and she gladly accepted my offer. It was starting to get around that time when I was supposed to see Abby, so I had to go. Kim said that maybe she'd call me later so that we could all go out to Ybor city to go to a haunted house.

When I got home, Abby had just called, and I couldn't get a hold of her for a long time. I really got a hold of her on Sunday, though. She ended up calling me later and said that her mom made her run some errands with her. On Sunday she said that Dave was coming over in the morning to mow her grass. We decided that we'd go to the beach afterwards and that I should call at about ten. I also found out that Chris and Jennifer, from Ecology, broke up and now Chris is going out with Jena. Abby and I kept talking about sex and confessed a lot more. She told me that she ended up going out with Dave, because I was leaving for Gainesville at the end of the summer. She then asked me if I was being serious about what I was saying, unlike back in high school, and I said yes. It was a really interesting talk.

That night mother made spaghetti, yum yum. We then watched movies and I went to sleep earlier so I'd be awake for Sunday. I called Abby at ten the next morning and she said that her mom had taken the car and she was just going to mow the grass herself. After she took a shower she called me and I went over. I didn't tell anyone in my family that I was taking Abby with me to the beach, just that I'd be home at around four. Her mom was home when I got there and she asked me where I went to school now before running off and talking on the phone. Abby told me that she called Dave and when he asked her what she was doing, she told him that she was going with me to the beach. He said something like, 'Oh really?' Poor Dave. Ha ha. We talked and listened to Toad the Wet Sprocket on the way over. I took the new way to Sand Key so that I didn't have to pay the 75› bridge tolls.

We got there at about one. It was a bit windy but the sun was out full blast. Another perfect day. A cold front had come through though and I asked her if she'd go swimming in the cold water. She said definitely, that she liked it better that way. I was glad that I finally found someone who'd stay in with me. I figured she would since she is from up North. She said that when she comes with Dave to the beach he always starts whining about something and leaves early. I put in three hours' worth of quarters and it turned out just right. We threw our stuff on the beach and went straight into the water. There weren't many people at all. I told her that it was a perfect day for my fantasy. I had told her that I always wanted to have sex out in the water on a public beach and she said that it sounded good.

A few minutes after we went out, I stepped on a stingray! I felt the flat slimy part under my foot, and then something brush me on the ankle as it was swimming away. It seemed to tingle for a second and it scared the shit out of me. If I would have been stung, my foot would have been so swollen that there is no way I would have been able to drive back to Gainesville last night. During the next two and a half hours, we shuffled, and bumped into a bunch of them. It must have been the colder water, and the fact that there were no people except us to scare them out deeper. We also kept kicking fish all of the time as they swam around us. There definitely was a huge abundance of wildlife out there. We joked about what were happening if we were having sex and a stingray decided to sting me in the dick. That would hurt. I realized though that a swollen dick would be very beneficial for me when I came back up to Gainesville. She thought it was really funny.

After she kept stepping near sting rays, she started keeping her legs up, letting me pull her to 'safety.' I would then lift her into my arms and walk around out in the water with her. We would keep talking about sex and saw another couple down the beach that were fooling around. I kept making jokes about them. She kept calling me awful and I had to defend myself. I kept saying how nice and wonderful I am and had some really good arguments. We kept splashing each other and kept horseplaying, too. She asked me why I wanted to come with her to the beach. I told her that I was hoping for great sex, and she said that she really doesn't want to disappoint me. We were talking about what I'd tell my roommates when I got home. We were still both pretty much in the bullshitting stage. We were also starting to get cold, so I said how nice it be to have a second body with me to keep me warm. At the same time she stepped on another stingray and it brushed me as it swam away. She said that she wasn't going to stand anymore except for on my feet. She ended up straddled around me as I had my hands planted on her ass to hold her on to me.

We had a good talk about how I'd rather be spontaneous than make plans, because plans often will either get broken, or the result will not be to your expectations. We ended up talking about her exposing herself and she kept asking me if she should just rip off her entire bathing suit. I said yes, but I would do it myself. She called me a coward Friday night because I never acted on any of my promises. She then dared me too, and I asked her if she really wanted me to. When she said yes, I slid the straps off of her shoulders and pulled her top down, and then gave her a peck on the lips. She has really nice tits, much better than I had expected. I never saw Nicole's in broad daylight, but I'd dare say that Abby's are much nicer. Really cute pink nipples... really cute. After the initial shock she pulled her top back up and I complained that we're never going to get anything done if she keeps reversing what progress I make.

So we got in a big water fight, and then I pouted and started swimming out deeper. She called me back, and we were both smiling wryly. I'm not sure what all we said right then, but I ended up asking her if we should be spontaneous, and she said yes. So I kissed her. She's a pretty good kisser, too. I was the better, she hit my teeth with hers a couple of times, but I'm definitely not complaining. The one problem was every time a larger wave would come, we'd get a mouth full of salt water. I told her that if Dave asked, we aren't kissing, we're cleaning the salt of of each other and she laughed. She kept saying that she really should have dated me in high school. I untied the front of her bathing suit, as not to be too obvious to the people on the beach, and slipped my hand in and began massaging her breast. We had talked earlier about how it would be easy to have sex without taking off her bathing suit, just reach down and pull it to the side. After a little bit, I took my hand out of her top and pulled her close again. We kept kissing the entire time.

There were these two parents on shore with their kids who kept watching us. I still had my face towards the shore. I then pulled both of my hands down and pulled the bottom of her suit aside and began massaging her. I slid one finger in and out and she moaned. I then pulled my dick out of the side of my shorts. I had been hard for some time now, even in the freezing water. Chris and Ed were right about it not being easy to have sex in the ocean. I got in her about half way three times but kept slipping out. Chris said that was his problem when he tried the same. I gave up and told her that it'd be better if we went and found some secluded spot to finish our little talk. I asked her if she had any good ideas of where to go. She said that we should just start driving and be spontaneous. I joked about going to Upper Tampa Bay Park but there aren't many good hiding spots there, especially on a Sunday. She asked me why she should have sex with me. I think she was rechecking my intentions. I told her that it is something that probably should have been a long time ago, I just never saw that. She then asked me if I had a condom, and I told her it was in my car. We were also starting to get waterlogged so we headed in.

We went up and took showers and she went off to the bathroom. I then went up and sat up on the bench by the bathrooms. I started thinking that this probably wouldn't happen, because every time I stop something, I usually never get back to it. We started talking and I thought that a cool place would be Brooker Creek Park. When we got to the stop sign, I asked if I got a kiss, and I did. So the rest of the way, every time I had to stop, we made out. We could only kiss on legitimate stops, though, because she said that the more times that we stop, the longer it is going to take for us to get there. I sped up. We drove around inside the park, until we realized that there were no good concealed places, and we both agreed that we didn't want to get arrested. I then had a brilliant idea!!! I remembered the picnic docks that stick out over Lake tarpon off of the boardwalk. That is where we usually have Cathleen's birthday parties. We decided to give it a try.

I put on my tank top as not to look too obvious, and grabbed a towel and my condom, and we went walking. We went to the very last dock shelter, and I left my towel and flip flops out by the walkway, hopefully to deter anyone from coming, except us. Ha ha. It didn't work to begin with though because a family with a bunch of little kids came along and they all came down the walkway. When their parents saw us sitting there, they called to the kids and told them that it is just a dead end. I thought it was funny. Abby and I joked about where we were going to do it, from under the table, to up on the rafter. I pulled off my tank top. She asked me what I thought of her since she has a boyfriend and was here with me. I told her that I think she is an easy screw, and then told her I was just kidding. She asked me what I would say when I bragged to my roommates, since I already said that I would. I told her that I would say that she is an old friend from high school and she liked that.

We started kissing again. She told me not to expect too much because she hasn't had that much experience. I reassured her that neither have I. I slid my hands up her shirt and tried, and failed, to get her bra undone. that's the first time it's ever taken longer than four seconds for me to get a bra off. Of course, they were al Nicole's and she probably made sure that they were easy to undo. Abby's had some weird little clasp and I bet her that she wore that one on purpose but she swore that she didn't. I started kissing her down her neck, and then raised her shirt and licked and kissed her right tit. I then went back up to her lips and kept my hands caressing her breasts.

I don't think she's ever really had sex with anyone who really had an idea of what he was doing because afterwards she asked me, 'OK Mr. Inexperienced, how many partners have you really had!?!' I didn't tell her yet. She also told me how Dave thinks that her job is to please him. I told her that I disagree, I think it is my job to use her to please me. There really is a difference there, I'm not sure how much of one though.

I again pulled my dick out of the sid of shorts. I was very hard at the time, and directed her hand down to it. She began squeezing and pulling and knew what she was doing. I had hoped that she might give me a blow job, but I'm not sure if she ever has, and I didn't want to force her to. We then stopped and she pulled off her shorts after I started to unbutton them. She then told me that I couldn't tease any longer, that I had to take my shorts off, too. I joked that now we'll both get arrested. I pulled her legs over the edge of the table top and then gently eased her back so that she was lying across the table. I spread her legs and then ate her out. I tried to get in as deep as possible with my tongue. I then got up and slid one finger in, and then two, and tried to get her as aroused as possible. I pulled them out and pulled her back up. We decided to do it sitting up on the bench. I put on my condom and she came down and straddled me. She moaned as we moved to get me completely inside of her, but otherwise we were pretty quite.

She could move her hips pretty good, but I kept my hands on her butt to keep the motion and to help her out. We kept our mouths pressed together the entire time we fucked and ended up pretty messy. I came first, and I am pretty sure she did soon after me. Even if she didn't she seemed very satisfied. We both agreed again that we should have gone out back in high school. We sat there talking and holding each other for a few minutes before I figured that we risked it long enough and needed to get dressed. I was very surprised, and very very relieved that nobody ever walked back where we were while we were having sex. I thought for sure that a Park Ranger might come back since it was getting closer to dusk. I also thought about how ironic it would be if I went home and said, 'Hey mom, do you remember the place where we have Cathy's parties, well I just got laid there!'

We kept kissing the entire way home, and as I dropped her off at her house, we shook hands and thanked each other for the weekend. We had talked earlier about how I should call her when I am coming down, and she'll reschedule her weekend around me. We agreed that she can keep Dave, and have me on the side. She said that she'd really like to marry us both. She was going out to dinner with Dave after I dropped her off.

I didn't get home until six, and couldn't tell my family the truth. I told them that I was swimming and talking to this girl, but not who it was. I had dinner and then headed back up here to Gainesville. I never got to call Kim and say goodbye, though. When I got back up here I bragged, and bragged. I even called Valerie and told her that one of my fantasies came true. She was happy for me. She had gone down to Miami for the weekend, so we both talked about our trips. Chris agreed that after you get laid, it boosts your ego for a while, and it definitely has.