May 23, 1994 - Monday - Kristen's basketball sex

Shari seems to be gone for good this time. I called her up
tonight after getting the answering machine at Ashley's and I left my
name with the guy who answered. It was her brother Chad and he asked if she has called me lately because no one has heard from her for a
week and a half. I was stunned for a few seconds after I hung up and
I could feel my heart pounding in disbelief. I laughed to myself
about how my mother has been telling me to take Shari to small claims court to get my ring back.

I then gave Sarah a call. She got off the other line and started
telling me what has been going on. She just got dumped by this guy
for his real girlfriend whom he had said he was going to dump. They
were then all at Despaparados and she was there and he wouldn't have
anything to do with Sarah. She was about ready to cry and was really
confused about the whole thing. I then told her the story about Shari
and how I felt all along and she was amazed at how similar my
situation was and how I have experienced exactly what she is going
through. She kept saying that over and over while I was telling my
story and was saying that it all seems the same. I told her that guys
can go through that kind of stuff, too, but women don't think we do
and she disagreed that she knows better.

She was asking me how long it took me to get over Shari and I
picked out feelings that were similar to the ones I knew she was
having right then and told her about those. She agreed with a lot of
them. She wa telling me that she needs to find somebody new real
quick and wants it to be someone she can actually talk to and all
that. I wondered to myself if she considers what we're doing
"talking" because most guys aren't nearly as sympathetic as me. I
started telling her things like, if you get desperate enough, make
sure you always remember me! I was also plugging college guys for
being more mature and all that and she agreed that she wants to get
back into that.

I have a way of dragging things out of her that she normally
wouldn't tell a guy. She laughed once and I finally got the story
out. She told me that she will really miss the sex and then she
laughed really hard and wondered why she was telling me this. I just
told her she'll have to find somebody better (me!). She was saying
that she'll miss that part of him a lot. She kept wanting to call him
really bad and then I explained to her why she shouldn't so he won't
get annoyed with her since he obviously wants the other girl. She is
a virgin and has started birth control so I used my magic and without
cutting down the other guy, I explained the facts of life. She kept
saying that she wondered if he was just using her for sex and I told
her that he was probably because this girl wouldn't have sex with him
and now that she will he'll probably stay with her for good. She's
smart and agreed partially with the logic.

She was also saying that it's been a week and a half since she's
had sex and she's used to it weekly so she's going nuts. I told her
how long my hiatus has been, and then said I'll have to start going
over there after work if she needs me. It was funny. I then joked
that she'll have to resort to good old fashioned fingers and she
laughed really hard and said that she's resorted to her fingers on
various occasions but it's just not as good! She then said, at least
she's being honest and we both remarked on how good a trait that is.
I then said that I am picturing her in what she was wearing in
Gainesville using her fingers and she started yelling at me to stop
thinking about her doing that while laughing all the time. It was
great.

We then stated talking about Gainesville and I was telling her
all about how our new dorms will be and she really seemed to like
that and said tat she really wants to go back up there. We were also
reminiscing about her trip up there and she said it was horrible but
I said it was cool because she bought me lunch and we started
laughing about all that. She also said something about olive green
paint and I wondered what the hell she was talking about. I then
realized that she actually remembered how we had been picking through
the paint on the wall and found green and then complimented her on
her good memory. I also told her how I saw Amanda a few weeks ago and
she said that she knows which means they've been talking. I mentioned
Amanda's boyfriend who looks like a little boy and she laughed hard
and agreed perfectly!

I was also telling her about Georgia and the vacation we are
supposed to take up there pretty soon. She pretty much knows about
the area and would love to come along. We were talking about our
schooling as well and I was telling her how there is a doctor in Blue
Ridge who might be looking for a young assistant to take under his
wing. She is starting to be pessimistic about being a dentist and I
told her she can come be a nurse for me and she laughed. I then
changed it to she can be a partner and she liked that.

She had cheered up dramatically and she had said that I make her
laugh which is really good. She had said that she'll probably cry
about it when she goes to bed and has dead time just to think about
it. She then said that she doesn't like to cry in an extremely cute
little voice and I laughed and she said it a few more times. I
started laughing and told her that she could be in a no-tears shampoo
commercial and that was really funny. I ended our call although she
wanted to talk to me some more just because she has a habit of
sometimes cutting off our calls in midstream because of another call
and I didn't want to push my luck.

I did tell her if she needs to talk anymore to feel free to call
and she almost seemed surprised that I said that. She asked if I
meant it and then reminded me that I have volunteered if she does
start crying to me. It was cute. I told her I always play the
psychiatrist and then said it always good to take advantage of a girl
just after a break up and then we both laughed as I said I am just
being honest. That was a really cool talk.

I then tried calling Ashley again and she was home. She laughed
that she was thinking about me today and wondered if the bozo would
call or not and that she was going to wait for me to since my mom
says she calls too much! We laughed. She then told me what had
happened over the weekend. There is this big field out in Brandon
where all of the kids hang out on the weekends and on Friday night a
guy there pulled a gun and shot and killed one guy and injured two
others. The past was of the Martinez family who are extremely close
to Daniel Vargas' family so she was with them all weekend. Daniel is
on his way home as we spoke to attend the wake and the funeral with
her.

She then said that she has to do all of this and then go to
Jana's wedding this weekend. I told her to say hello to Laura for me
and to give my best to Jana and Jamey. She then told me that he mom
and Grandma are on a two week vacation to Hawaii and then her mom and
dad are going to play golf at Saddlebrook when she gets back. Must be
nice. She also told me that it was Daniel's little sister's
eighteenth birthday on Saturday as well which was basically ruined.
She also told me that she has heard of Erin Wilcox, but doesn't know
why, perhaps she also went to her church nativity. We talked a little
while longer before getting off the phone because I was getting tired
and have to go to work in the morning.

I've started having a wild time with Kristen. It started on
Saturday night at Chris' party which wasn't that great. I arrived
before he even did and the thing didn't start until an hour later
than it was supposed to. I helped them set up and met his two
Jamaican roommates, Francis and Ed. Some cool people started showing
up and I actually held a conversation with Debbie from Congo Rides.
I've known her since I worked at Flume and pooled at the bumper cars
once. That was cool. They finally brought a keg of Ice Draft and I
downed four small glasses pretty quickly. Kerri was there in a cool
black lace top and I talked to her for a few minutes. She brought her
sister and I asked for a show of animals which I got. It was quite
amusing. She has a dorky little boyfriend and I was extremely
unimpressed.

I had these two girls that were really cute try to get me to
join in and dance with them but I really wasn't in the mood. I also
kept talking to Karen all night which was cool. I also ran into her
on lunch in the breakroom and she talked to me about her and Ryan's
problems like I was her best friend or something. I am really glad I
brought her that one cup of ice water and get to know her before she
transferred to Congo because we probably would have never met then.

Finally Kristen showed up with her friend Julie form Beatty
Towers [snip]. She doesn't drink much if at all and also is
a people watcher who likes to hang out in a corner. I told her at
work today that I have only had a buzz once in my life and really
don't drink that much, if an effort to similarize myself to her. We
ended up joking around and hanging on each other, constantly
touching, all night long. I had a great time and made some perverted
jokes that she loved. They split at around midnight and I left about
fifteen minutes later after talking with Kevin and Mike for a few
minutes. I saw Dayanara once and she was with a guy but she gave me a
really surprised look when she figured out it was me.

Chris and I had partially been making fun of Kristen while we
were on the platform, although it was mainly him but I was laughing,
too. Fortunately I had an opportunity to make up with her as we were
both unloading for the last two hours. There were no supervisors
around and thus we played the entire time. It was cool because we
were doing so in front of people such as Lisa, Shannon's friend, and
Randy. I was making her laugh and crumple over hysterically quite
often and I liked that.

We were talking about sex quite often and it got extremely
interesting. The highlight of the evening was when we made a joke
about Ronnie and she said something about him joking about sex all of
the time. I asked if I didn't and she told me that I joke a lot
differently than Ronnie does implying that I am more mature and
probably sensuous about the way I do it. I told her that I got over
the phase he is in when I was in junior high and she liked that. I
joke around in a way that spotlights the girl I'm talking to and not
myself, and don't make it obvious that I'm hitting on them like he
does.

It partially started because I kept saying things that could be
taken completely seriously or extremely pervertedly and she learned
quick to do the later, sometimes to my surprise. It was amazing. She
then was trying to make baskets with the guests' basketballs, both
real and plush. She could make the soft ones in, but the hard ones
kept bouncing out. I commented that she's OK with the soft ones but
still needs practice with the hard ones and she loved that. I then
was explaining that sometimes even a hard one doesn't want to just
get tossed in right away, it too needs a little extra encouragement
and so forth. It was great!

At one point she was hugging one of the poles waiting for the
next coaster and looking at me really sensuously. I told her that
she's pretty affectionate with the pole and said it's because she
likes to hold on to things that are big referring to cuddling with a
guy rather than a penis but she took it wrong. We both really seemed
to be having a lot of fun. One of my favorite parts is that all of
this involves a lot of soft yet physical touching of each other and
we both are completely comfortable with doing so. We also will look
at each other extremely sensual and will sometimes have our faces
only inches apart. It's awesome!

She then got serious and was asking how much do I think she
actually knows. I told her that I don't know her that well but she's a
smart person and I know that I know she can figure a lot out on her
own. She then said that she can, but she still has a lot of
questions. I said that she can ask me anything she'd like whenever
she needs to and I'll try to explain them in terms of soft and hard
basketballs as best as possible, but she said not all things can be
explained with them......... I like her.

I also had a lot of fun hitting on Jennifer Sheppard on Sunday.
She just broke up with some guy but likes another who works on the
train. I was trying to convince her over to my side for a long time
and had her hanging all over me, too.

There was also the little girls today. One group of older ones
kept calling my name every time they went by and called me over to
the Bumper Cars' queue when I was walking to lunch. There was another
little group. One of the girls rode a few times before taking off her
shirt revealing her bikini top. I smiled and cheered and said how
happy I was because she was undressing and she laughed and told all
of her friends! Another of the little girls also complimented me on
my eyes!

And today was Cathleen's ninth birthday!!!

April 16, 1994 - Saturday - Best party!, Buzz Buzz!!

April 16, 1994 - Saturday
I received a phone call while I was making dinner tonight and Karen informed me that it is a girl! I got excited and it was a good laugh for Ashley and all of us as well. Ashley and I haven't talked this week because I have been off studying and she has been at the house doing initiation stuff. She said that she was calling just to say hello because nobody is at home with her when I jokingly asked her what she wanted. She asked me if I enjoyed laying out today because she had seen me while she was on the way to the library.

I was cooking black eyed peas, rice, and popcorn bread, and brought that up to her. I then had the profound pleasure of explaining what popcorn bread is. She said she wanted to try it and I told her she probably wouldn't like it plain. We eventually started talking about this project she has to do for art class: create something beautiful. She has the choice of doing a paper instead which is ten pages long and really doesn't want to.

I started suggesting all kinds of things that she knows about and was telling her ways that she could bullshit as to why they are beautiful to her. Any of them could have been pulled off but she's a little bit pessimistic. She thinks she's not that creative and I have been trying to tell her that she is. One idea suggested by the teacher was to plan and prepare a meal and I suggested to try that one because she knows a lot about food. As I made a few suggestions about how to go about it, she got more and more interested in the idea. I told her that I had to go and eat and she quickly said to come down when I am finished if I'd like. That was cool! I gladly said yes and went and ate.

As I left the room, I said goodbye to Jon and Karen and told them that I hope I won't be seeing them in five minutes, because hopefully Ashley will keep me longer than that and they laughed. I carried two pieces of popcorn bread down to Ashley on her advisement just so she could see what it is. She immediately said that she was hungry and asked if she could try it. I told her I wouldn't because it is bland and needs something with it. With that in mind, she ate it, said it was really good and finished off the whole piece. I was surprised. She smelled part of it and said that it does smell like popcorn, which I had noticed earlier at dinner.

I then looked around in the rooms with her just because I haven't rooted down there in a while. We eventually started talking about how she should go about this meal thing. I gave her a lot of ideas and she finally started writing them down just to compile them for later use. That was smart. She then was planning out what she would say and do in the video she would make and quite a few times she really liked my ideas and scratched out hers and wrote down mine. That was cool to see someone else use my ideas word for word. Especially this one time when I thought she wasn't paying attention to me until she wrote down exactly what I had said. That was cool. We both came up with some really good ideas.

She started getting hungry after all of this talk about food and she was asking where you could get a good chicken sandwich. She thought about Chic Filet but it was already eight. I told her that she had plenty of time and then said that I would go with her. She seemed to jump at that and we were soon heading off to the mall.

Once we had gotten home, Ashley asked me if I wanted to go to this big party and I said yes. We were going to walk there in the same tradition that she and Laura had walked there from Tolbert last year. The party was supposedly thrown by the water polo team with seven bands, sixty kegs and so forth. I came upstairs while she showered and got ready. I called Kimmeth while I waited and told her what was up. We only talked for a few minutes because she was heading out to the movies. She told me that he was wondering wether or not I had the common sense to call her or not. She also told me that she was talking about me to a friend last night. He is twenty-six and was debating on whether or not to pick up this seventeen year old he knows. She then told him about her seventeen year old (ME!!!) except that I'm nineteen now. She was saying something about how I taught her how wonderful youngsters can be and I was complimenting her earlier in the same way. When her ride came she came back to the phone and called me honey!!! as she asked me if I'd call her back sometime soon. That was cool!


Welcome to Danland!!! I'm butt assed wasted and love it!!! This
is the first time in my life I've been truly drunk and I owe it all
to Ashley. She knows it too, and knew what she was doing. I think I
went to the same big party the same time last year and it was so much
easier this year because I had a girl getting my beer for me. And it
tasted so good!!! We joked that it was bad that our sole goal for the
night was to fond another keg and get there in time to tap it before
it went dry. Wow. I'm so ready to pass out it's not even funny. My
head is spinning. Nontheless, Ashley and I went and found Ed in the
downstairs library and he convinced us into playing pool. Damn.......
I'm going to sleep now.

The above is not edited for spelling or grammar to catch the pure emotional bliss of the moment. Heh heh

October 29, 1993 - Friday - Ashley calls from Tampa!

Happy birthday mom!

The entire world seems to be falling apart... everything is coming crashing down, just like that letter said... maybe I believe in fate and stuff too much but there are always so many things to make it seem so real...

Shar¡ gave up her life again...

I always liked to compare my situation with Shar¡ with Ashley and Daniel because they always seemed to coincide in a sense. It was kind of a mental way for me to cope with having to be separated from Shar¡, kind of like bullshit in my mind. But my intuition has always been better than that...

So it all begins...

Let me elaborate: The phone has been ringing off the hook the past half hour and it's after eleven on Friday night. I figured I'd let the answering machine get them just to screen the calls. I thought I was supposed to go with Ed and Roswitha to a party with April. I was more than willing to go, but since it was getting late, I decided against it and didn't want to answer a call from Ed because I knew I would give in and I just didn't feel like it. Nobody left any messages which caused me to believe it was Ed even more. I finally got sick of it and answered one of the calls.

It was Ashley!!! and it sounded like she was calling from a payphone. She left for Brandon this morning after biology class. I had a test today in my German culture class and wanted a good breakfast so I was late in meeting her at class. On Fridays, she has a first period chemistry discussion so we don't walk to class together. It was chilly but the air was really damp and I feel that if it has to be cold, this is the best kind of cold there can be. Most people don't like it but I know that it feels a lot better than dry cold after extended periods of time since I used to work outside at Busch Gardens. We joked around when I got to class and both were in a pretty good mood.

Our friend, Jason, came in just after me and we were looking for cute girls to ask out and it was pretty funny. At the end of class I admitted that our search for attractive girls was thwarted because I had looked at Ashley first and she spoiled me for any of the other girls. The fool made the mistake of cutting her down and she immediately came and hugged onto me. I walked up to the honors office with her because she had an advisement appointment.

I had gone down there yesterday and picked up a new honors course guide and found out that once you have sixty credits, you no longer have to take honors courses!!! Awesome!!! I'm finished!!! It's cool because I started with fifteen credits and didn't join until Spring so I was only obliged to take two classes although I was allowed into honors calculus my first semester. My early registration appointment letter had a nice little asterisk stating that my record had been flagged and I must have academic counseling before I can register. The lines to see your counselor are extremely long this time of the year and that was very discouraging. It wasn't until I was in the honors office that I realized that I bet I could get them to take care of it for me as one of the perks of being in honors. This girl immediately punched it up in her computer and said everything is fine and said that it was just a warning that I need to hurry up and finish general education and apply to a college. That was really cool!

Anyway, Chris and I went to McDonalds yesterday afternoon for a bite to eat. He also needed to get some batteries and I suggested Eckerds across the street. We always have a pretty cool time running about so I was more than happy to go with him despite the fact that I only had a dollar on my person. He said he'd lend me a dollar before we left and we were on our merry way. He read my letter from Shar¡ and we were commenting about her. I knew it was finally time to tell him about Shar¡ attempting suicide and how I could possibly fall in love with a girl with such a fucked up past. I kind of did it to clear my name a little, but also so he could realize what I am going through.

He (and I) agreed that she has got to be pretty damn heartless for what she did and stupid for throwing away a chance at a good life like she did. He agrees fully that if I had spent that amount of emotional effort on any "normal" girl, then she would be probably be mine forever, and there are lots of girls out there like that. But it's just so hard to make that initial spark between two people. Once it's there, we can both completely win them over, and I can do it on such a wide variety of types. I am extremely versatile, and it sometimes amazes me. I admitted that Shar¡ was kind of a challenge that I presented to myself and once I got going, there was no turning back to see how far I could take it. I just hope to someday find a girl that will be able to appreciate what I have to offer her.

Well, I put off heading to the library to study for my exam for a few minutes to be with Ashley because I wanted to tell her the whole truth about Shar¡. I think a lot of things about my relationship kind of fall into place when that last cornerstone is finally cemented in. I complained to both Ashley and Chris that it really bothered me when people asked me why someone as "good as me" was going out with a girl like that, and I could never tell them the real reason and probably the only reason why we lasted any amount of time at all. It was my humanitarian side kicking in and offering her a second and real chance at life... and once again I am separated from the girl when it is most vital that we are together. That's the story of my life...

I said goodbye to Ashley at that point and we were smiling really big at each other. She told me not to think about it too much and I truthfully told her that I wasn't, that I was just thinking about all of the crap I had to go and study then and she laughed. I proceeded to flirt with every girl I could on the walk to the library where I finally settled down and learned everything in probably twice as much detail as I needed to, for my goal wasn't only to get another A, but to impress Mr. Hasty as well.

...I heard her voice and asked her what was up. We talked for a second and she asked me if I knew who it was, and I said of course and said her name. I told her then like I have before that her voice is easy to tell and she doesn't have to tell me who it is every time she calls. I wondered why she was calling and first thought that she might of had car trouble and was calling me while she waited. She told me that she was at a 7-11 in Brandon on Kings Road. She acted a little surprised and asked why I wasn't out and about on a Friday night.

She finally got to the point of her call. She had told me that she was going out with Daniel's younger sister tonight when she got down there. She said that while she was at Daniel's house, he actually called and talked to his dad from Edmond Air Force Base. She then told me that she found out why he hadn't called all week, and why he told her he wasn't going to buy a car. She said that he had talked about buying a motorcycle a lot and had gone out and done so. On Tuesday he was in an accident and broke either an arm or a leg, some ribs, and his neck!!! Fuck!!! The way I used to be, I would have found this to be a wonderful event so I could move in on the kill... but I had feelings of sympathy that I have never felt before because I actually care about her and see her as a true friend. I think that's really rare.

We've been learning a lot of really interesting shit in psychology lately, and today he said there are only a few people that you can be your true self with, and I have found that with Ashley. I think the feeling is mutual because although she tells her emotional stories to quite a few other people, just like I do, there are certain things she tells me that I know she would never tell anybody else. We're kind of like each other's emotional dumps.

But she was telling me about Daniel and really hated the fact that she couldn't drive up there right then to be with him. She said that as soon as she found out, she got really hot and turned red and started feeling sick. Her nerves instantly kicked in. She said that Daniel didn't want to talk to anyone else but his dad and was being taken to have an MRI done right then anyway. She was so upset because she cant be with him or even talk to him, just like the last time he was in the hospital, out in Denver. At least he said that he is OK despite the broken neck! She took his sister out to a country dance club anyway and Shar¡ started getting sick. She left her there and said that she'd pick her up at midnight and then stopped to get something to drink.

I told her that I had been in my room with the radio on loud and it was really lucky that I heard the phone ring. Damn I'm glad I answered that one!!! She told me that she had called about ten minutes earlier and then just drove around for a few minutes until she stopped and called me again. She said that she didn't want to tell anybody down there because they'll just talk and start rumors and she didn't really want to talk to her roommates, so she called me!!! I felt awesome to hear her say that and told her that I'm always here and told her that now I am glad I stayed home tonight and knew there was a reason. Everything she did sounds so much like something I would do in a similar situation and it amazes me once again how much alike we are. She has the perfect romantic personality that I dream to find in a girl that cares about me... I just can't express how good it made me feel that she called ME and how much I want to be there for her.

I told her to be careful as we finally ended our talk. She was crying or almost crying and then laughed about being at a payphone in the middle of Brandon so late at night. I asked her what she was going to do for the next half hour until she was supposed to pick up his sister. She said she was just going to drive around some more to get an icee somewhere instead of a slurpee. At least she had a goal to keep her sane for the time being. Poor baby...



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I never did mention my little trip to the mall with Chris last Sunday... hell I never said anything about the entire weekend!!! And it was an awesome weekend!!! Actually my letter to my little sister kind of summed things up, but not really.

We were all hanging out with the neighbors last Friday night around seven and everybody was kind of drifting back and forth between the two rooms. Everybody was wearing dorm clothes which proved really interesting in Michelle's case. She was working on some quiz on her computer and couldn't figure some of the techniques out. Everybody pointed at me and I went in her room and helped her. I commented on what a really nice computer table they had, and asked where they got it. Leigh Anne said something about some really nice guy who built it for them. Well, Michelle was wearing this pink shirt with the neck ripped out that would kind of fall onto her shoulder quite often. I asked her out in the hallway a little later if she was wearing anything underneath that because she keeps pulling it off of her shoulder and she said no. She has a habit of not wearing bras quite often and I like that in her.

Chris had been massaging Leigh Anne's back and I was the next victim. She told me that it was my turn and I went and sat in a chair in front of her!!! She laughed and said no, that I was supposed to massage HER! I did for a while and Chris picked up later on the fact that she was extremely vulnerable that night and probably would have taken any one of us if we had wanted to. She likes to talk to me and comments every once in a while about how I always listen to her problems and she pulled me off into our room once away from everybody else to tell me why she has been fighting with Delisa.

We all ended up making plans to go out to a party and then to this nightclub called Kaos that was having the finals of their hot body contest where the girls get naked! Chris was so worried about his organic test, that he didn't even want to go. I think it's also due to the fact that he's falling for this girl named Marty and I know I would have felt the same back when Shar¡ and I were emotional. We weren't going to leave until 11:30, but I then got a phone call from Ashley at 10:30 and she asked me if I wanted to go out with them! I jumped at the chance to be with Laura and ditched Leigh Anne. I even had Leigh Anne say hi to Ashley just so she'd know I have other female friends. Leigh Anne was kind of pissed that I sold them out and I tried to talk my way out of it. I eventually did, but not until yesterday.

Laura and Ashley showed up at our room a little while later all dressed up for the night, and I introduced them to Jon and Ed and then went running into my room with Michelle for a minute just to show off. We then parted and drove to Oxford Manor to meet up with a bunch of guys. This one guy named Rob was there and was the one I met back when I gave Laura my blender. He ended up being pretty cool and I talked to him a little bit over the weekend. We drove around to almost every apartment complex in Gainesville and couldn't find a single damn party. Laura nd I were making a lot of our usual bullshit comments to each other and Laura accused me of flattering everyone, and not just her. I said that wasn't true at all and she asked Ashley, which was kind of funny.

After we dropped all of the stupids off, I pull out my party idea and we ran off to Roswitha's apartment complex where the big party of the night was. It was an awesome party, HUGE, and there were girls like Shar¡ everywhere!!! They were hot and ready and I would have loved to stay longer but the kegs were dry and Laura wanted to leave. Damn! We ended up going back to their room and Laura and I sat on the fouton together and watched the last part of Top Gun and we all talked for a while before I showed back upstairs.

Ashley and I decided to go to the biology lab review session Saturday morning. We walked over there and were very tired and really thought that the help session wasn't going to help a damn thing if we didn't know anything going into it. We decided to leave and study, and come back to Sunday's meeting. I remembered how the Florida Museum of Natural History used to have a lot of animal exhibits and suggested that we go inside. I couldn't have come up with a better idea because we ended up learning far more than we ever could have possibly learned in class and had an awesome time doing so! I joked that we should tell everybody but she said that we should keep it our secret so only we'll do good on the exam. Smart girl.

The museum had almost three-quarters of the classes we needed to learn about and was set up, it seemed, like it was tailor made for somebody learning our lab manual. We first learned all about crustaceans and sea animals and all about the special cases in each group because they were all on display as well. We learned funny cues, something we both learned about from Griggs, for some of the harder names. We then went through an exhibit with tons of live insects and we identified each and looked at the structures of the grasshopper which was much more fun on a live species because you could see them in motion rather than on a dead smelly carcass. We also went into the specimen room that has drawer after drawer full of fun things to identify. They even had these acrylic molds of worms that were really important for us to learn. I joked that this was the most use some of those exhibits had gotten in a long time. It was great and I just couldn't get over how much fun we were having and how much we were learning.

We kept naming the taxonomy on every living thing we saw and realized that we'd probably do the same once we left the museum to every animal we see. It was funny. We even went through the gift shop and identified everything we could find. The best part is that a lot of the information stuck in my mind and wouldn't have if I had just studied the book.

The museum also has an artificial cave that looks a lot like the ones we crawled in out in Newberry and I told Ashley all about that. We walked through the cave twice and stood against a railing inside once and talked in the very dim light for quite a while. We were really close and I had the instinctive urge to kiss her and we then joked about how jealous some people would be if they knew we had gone into a cave together like that. It was pretty funny. We eventually went home and I hung out in Ashley's room for a little while only to see Laura running around in her little nightgown looking more gorgeous than ever. That's so damn sexy! Ashley was in her green silk pajamas the night before which defined some very erect nipples rather nicely. I found that pretty interesting.

They called me a little while later and asked me if I wanted to go out. Of course! We went to the grocery store and bought orange juice. I couldn't help but think how much nicer it is to hang out with two attractive girls rather than the group of guys last year at Salem and Monte's apartment. We then went back to the room and Ashley made us all a drink. She made screwdrivers and fuzzy navels. I had three shots in mine and kind of guzzled it, to no avail. Chris says vodka makes him puke but I noticed nothing much for me. I sat with Laura again on the fouton and we got engaged! She broke off her engagement with the guy in the fraternity just to be my fiancee. When Ashley found out, she wanted to see the ring, and I told her that I'd have to wait until I go home for Thanksgiving to get it for her.

Jessica was there, and Rob and a few other people showed up as well. Ashley, Laura, and I took our drinks up to my room to pick out a movie to watch and I introduced them to Chris. We decided on Groundhog Day and went back downstairs. We all ended up watching the World Series and saw the most awesome ending to a baseball game ever! The Blue Jays hit a three run homer in the ninth inning to take the lead and win the game. I have never seen a happier player than the guy who hit that ball. Laura's "casual boyfriend" kept calling her an insisted that they go out and do something despite him being sick. He showed up later and Laura kissed him right in front of me. They were only simple kisses and I would bet that she was doing so just to get back at me for kissing Shar¡ at that party like I did. I completely understand.

The guy is a complete and total dork and I told her I am rather disappointed. The three of us were all on the fouton with Laura wedged in the middle. Carl was mean to her once and she said that it doesn't matter because she is engaged to me and rolled over, putting her arms around me. That was cute. We were looking at the yearbook from Bloomingdale High School and saw Laura with really short hair. The best way to describe it is silly and I love it being much longer like it is now. She complained a lot to me all weekend that it upsets her that people always complement her friends and all but they never say anything to her. I was trying to reassure her and maybe I need to be more serious when I do complement her. They eventually took off to a midnight movie and we all decided to try a party.

I rode in Rob's car with Jessica and we eventually found the party and hung out for a while. There were a couple of the guys there from the night before, Joe and Todd and we said hello. They stopped playing music about the time when we got there and Ashley and I figured that they were trying to get rid of everybody. When we finally did leave, we stopped by Taco Bell. Ashley, Laura and I had talked about Ashley and my trips to Taco Bell earlier on the way to the grocery store and Laura was saying that she is jealous and wants me to take her. I promised to do so sometime. I had told Ashley that I had only been to Taco bell about four times before meeting her and only went twice with Shar¡. We joked that we'll make her jealous by telling her we've been three times and even go at one in the morning together. It was kind of funny.

Ashley and I went to study again on Sunday and ended up sitting on these picnic tables in the middle of a small wooded area and talked about our failing relationships and how life sucks. We also were reading our newspapers, for I stole one for her when I bought mine. When we got home, Chris and I decided to head over to the mall to have our ears pierced. He was getting his second hole, and me my first. We came across the jewelry stand where Cheryl, the girl from my first semester German class works, and we ended up letting her staple our ears. She's looking pretty damn good and we joked around for quite a while. I had a "diamond stud" starter put in and Chris and I bought a nice pair of gold hoops with the twenty percent discount you get on the day of your initial piercing. When we got home, we walked past Ashley, Laura, and I think Rob, heading off to mass in Ashley's car and we said hello.

I went and studied later on and came back to Beaty only to find them under a fire drill. I walked around until I found Laura and she was still in her Church dress. She looked really good and I told her that the alarm rang because she is so hot. Jana was holding Stimpy and was sitting on this couch. Jessica and Rob were there and he had bought him and Laura both a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. She came right up and was standing next to me against the wall and then we sat down together. Leigh Anne was running around with her new boyfriend, Jerry, and Michelle. They were joking around with me for a few minutes and I made sure they saw me with Laura. Laura started feeding me her ice cream and was finding huge chunks of nuts and white chocolate for me to try. It was really fun and I enjoyed myself.

Leigh Anne was over in the room on Wednesday night after I had gone to sleep and she came in the room with a big smile and ruffled my hair. We talked for a few minutes and she told me how upset she was at me for ditching them on Friday night. I told her that I really made a mistake and hoped that she would forgive me. I met up with her outside the room on Thursday on the way to class and we walked together the entire way. The first thing she asked when she saw me is why she felt like shit because she though relationships are supposed to make you happy. I said that I know how she feels and that they hardly ever seem to work out that way. I decided to jump in and take advantage of her fragile state when she told me that she and Jerry have fought continuously ever night this week. She said that he wants her to change a lot, like working out so she can compete with him. She asked me if I like those women with tons of muscles and I truthfully told her that it makes me sick and that I like her just the way she is. I put my arm around her as I said that and she thought it was really sweet.

She mentioned that they are getting along really crappily and they've only been going out for a week. I corrected her saying six days, and that I'll be keeping track until the day we get her back. She counted and realized I have been keeping track, although it was just some quick addition in my head, but she thought that was amazingly well put. I just kept saying all of the right things and she did tell me that she's going to get rid of him if he pulls his shit any more! That's cool. I even went out of my way to get the doors for her and she thought I was being really sweet. She commented once that sometimes she forgets that I was a valedictorian because I act kind of silly. Thanks. But I wasn't being silly then and I though to myself how versatile I can be and how I can make almost any girl very happy by telling her what she wants to hear and what I have to offer.

I almost told her that, but that would have screwed everything up. Chris and I were talking about how I should have stuck around Friday night because she was very vulnerable and I could have easily had her. Maybe I still can... and we talked about how cool it would be to have convenient sex right next door. That would be awesome, and it wouldn't stop very quickly because she is the kind of girl who really needs what I have to offer. She kind of reminds me of Abby, except I want Leigh Anne. Chris and I have also been joking around a lot about how we are constantly starving nowadays. I joked that we used to think about sex all of the time and how much we want it, now we think about food and how nice it would be to have it. We ate like animals last Friday night when we went to this restaurant named Quincys where he took me for my birthday last year. All four of us went and ordered the hot bar and tried tons of everything. I was really surprised I ate so much because I did just official find out about Shar¡ just a few hours before and I recalled how I just didn't care to eat anymore after Nicole and I broke up way back when.

I've been having an awesome time with Karen in psychology class this week. I save her a seat now with my bookbag that I didn't do the first couple of times because I didn't want to seem to eager for her to come sit with me and possibly scare her off. It's cool now that we know about each other's relationship situation at least a little bit. She came bouncing up again to the seat next to me with a big grin on her face on Friday. I smiled and slowly moved my bookbag as she laughed and sarcastically told me to hurry up. I really like just being around her and am trying my best to impress her in any way I can. She's so damn hot!

August 14, 1993 - Saturday - Great fun yet distant

I'm gonna go nuts waiting for Shar¡ to call! We talked about three different times this morning cutting it off at about eleven thirty. Our final talk was the most meaningful. We talked for a few minutes about the night she attempted suicide. She was at her Aunt's house and just found out that none of her family was in the ambulance as she was taken to the hospital. She really thinks that sucks. We were talking about her being passed out and she told me that she thinks it was the ten 800mg IBUs she took that actually put her in a coma. She also took about twenty small blue pills called xylene(?) that she says give you a quick buzz and then drop you way down. they are depressants and she said they were easier because they were smaller. I tried to look them up in our physicians's reference book but couldn't find anything. I mainly wanted to know what a normal dose of each would cause and build from there.

Anyway, she went with Christina last night to her cousin's house in Sarasota for Christina's birthday. She said they came back and went to 911 last night but left really soon because Chrissy didn't like the heavy metal and atmosphere. Shar¡ says she really thinks I would hate it and probably won't take me either. They then went to Tally Hos butt they weren't doing karioke, so they went to Mulligan's and sang for a while. She spent the night at Christina's house and is with her now. that really sucks because it's killing one of the few days left hat we could have been together. She knows how I fell about it, too. I'm really starting not to like Christina at all. That's probably not a good attitude to take since they are probably going to live together someday but who gives a fuck?

I've been packing for Gainesville all day long just to kill time. Well the worthless piece of shit finally called around 8:30 and talked as if nothing were a matter. It wasn't really, so I let things slide without ever a complaint. She had been helping Christina move into her new apartment all day, and had also gotten in a fight with her dad which may prove to be a little detrimental to our week together. She asked me if I was ready and dressed to go. I said no but if we are still going, I will be very soon. She wanted me to meet them at Tally Hos at ten, but I kind of rearranged her plans for her. I decided that they would meet me at the McDonald's near there so I could eat and also so that I wouldn't have to be there by myself with her family since I knew she'd be late.

Well, they were more than late. She said to give them between ten and ten-fifteen, but they ended up not showing up until almost eleven. I was pretty pissed and figured that perhaps they just went on to Tally Hos figuring that I am smart enough to figure to go there on my own if they didn't show up after a while. I later was reassured that she isn't that way and not to worry so much. I even left once and almost went home but decided to have a heart and come back just in case. I know how the two of them can take forever doing nothing getting ready. When they showed up, I bitched at them both nicely and then sped off ahead of them to the club. I took the pictures in with me so that we could look at them. She apologized dearly for being so late and then joked that I should know better by now. Go ahead and think that bitch...

We walked in and I met a bunch of people, hugged Melanie, and said hello to her brother Wayne and his girlfriend. I was introduced to Melanie's sister and to this young cuter woman who asked me if I was Shar¡'s boyfriend. Shar¡'s mom was working behind the bar and the first thing I did was order us each a Pepsi. She had bitched the first night that I didn't buy Shar¡'s drink and that was because she had gone and gotten it before I knew otherwise. It was kind of funny having dear old mom cleaning up al of the trash on the table and all. At least Shar¡ wore her new Budweiser shirt, as did I, so that we matched. She had told me that she might wear this black see through leotard top with a black tube underneath. That's kind of like what Valerie and I were looking for at Victoria's Secret that time but she chickened out and never wore it. I was glad she wore my shirt just so her mom could see her in it. Shar¡ showed me that she has changed cigarettes again for the fourth time to Camel Lights. I asked her if she usually changes guys as often as she changes cigarettes and she replied with a quiet no.

I had a pretty cool time and I loved being able to talk this time!!! Shar¡ sang the usual two songs, especially The Rose! The pictures of us ended up making their way around the table and beyond. Melanie really liked the close up one of Shar¡ and Cord in the Skyride and I told her that she could have it if she wanted it. She was really glad. Shar¡ took a copy of the picture of us holding the parrots, the one of me holding Cord, Cord holding the pan and broom, and the two up-close ones of me in the river. Towards 1:15, the manager of the place said that Cord really shouldn't be in there anymore. We talked of going to Mulligan's where Shar¡ and I would be able to play pool. By that time, Wayne and his girlfriend were getting a ride home with Christina as well. There wasn't going to be enough room for everybody so I offered to follow behind with Shar¡ to their place. We nixed the second bar idea because they were closing at two.

Wayne said that we could all come over and hang out at the apartment for a while. We stopped and picked up a case of Bud Dry and then headed over. Shar¡ and I kissed a couple of times on the way over, nothing big. When we got there, they put Cord to sleep in their son's crib since he was still at the babysitter's. Wayne told me to pull up a chair from the table and I sat down. Christina took the recliner and this third guy that lives there was passed out on the couch. Wayne pulled up a chair right next to me and we started talking. I told him that the last time I was over here, he was passed out on the couch and he was surprised until we explained that it was the night they were taking care of Cord. His girlfriend and Shar¡ were off cleaning up and putting Cord to sleep. he asked me how old I am and I said eighteen. He was surprised again and said that Shar¡ usually brings over guys who are twenty-six or seven. I said that the last girl I dated was twenty-five and Shar¡ is my first eighteen year old in a while as well.

he grabbed me a Busch beer out of the refrigerator. I work for them but I don't think I've ever had one before. I also usually hate drinking beer out of a can, but this one was damn good. I guzzled the entire thing like I would Pepsi at the beach and actually enjoyed it. I would have easily gotten wasted if I didn't have to drive. I ended up having an awesome time socially, it was a lot of fun, but Shar¡ and I never really paid much attention to each other all night. It was a rarity for her to even look at me during the entire Trivial Pursuit game that Wayne suggested after we couldn't find a deck of cards or anywhere to play quarters. I noticed the distance, but it didn't really bother me at all because we all seemed to be having so much fun. Shar¡ and I were partners against Wayne and his girlfriend, leaving Christina to rot watching TV. By the time three o'clock rolled around, I think we could have just kept on going forever if Christina hadn't started bitching so hard. We all hated her for ruining the fun. She was complaining that she hadn't slept since Thursday morning. I laughed and told her to grab a pillow and take a nap and Wayne thought the idea was brilliant.

Wayne was being pretty perverted all night and I slipped in a few good ones but he had the advantage because he's screwed his girlfriend, and I haven't. I don't think he knew that. I came up with some great stuff though that made them all crack up. One of the questions asked how many [snip] died during some sporting event. I answered, `Not enough!,' and we all started laughing. He told me he should give me the question just for saying that. It was hilarious. Oh yea, we had a rule that we have to drink after every missed question. It was pretty cool.

When it was time to go, and we had all finally gotten it through our heads that Christina wasn't going to just go away, we got up. Shar¡ went and got Cord. Wayne told me that he had fun and anytime we want to drop by and do something, to feel free. That was really cool. Christina told Wayne to stop being so rude once, and he was defending himself that he isn't rude. He then said that mom is rude, though. Christina objected but then he pointed at me and said that I know she is rude and I agreed. That means he knows his mom's feelings about me. He talks to her a lot and I was really extremely glad to get on his good side like I did. Maybe some of this will get passed along to dear old mom. I wonder how she liked it when I was sitting at Tally Hos taking care of Cord in my lap...

Shar¡ ran back into the house one last time to get her stuff as Christina and I waited out by the car. Christina had bitched once in front of Wayne that if it hadn't been for her, Shar¡ and I would have never met. She was obviously upset at me probably for excluding her like we did. I waited for Shar¡ to walk up to me and then we hugged and said our goodbyes. She told me to give her a kiss and we kissed twice rather dryly. I just want to spend time with her alone again. that's all we need.

July 18, 1993 - Sunday - Awesome party w/ Shari!

I went to what I would say is the best party of my life last night!!! Man I was feeling good!, both socially and physically by the time it all came to an end!

As we concluded our phone call Thursday night, I told Shar¡ to give me a call Saturday morning to see about going out to Ryan's party. She joked that she was going to call me at six in the morning and was surprised when I said OK. By that time I would have found out the time and place of the party and could give her some better details. I went to Adventure Island just to lay out for a while before work on Friday. When I got home that night I found out that `the Cherry girl' had called just after I left after reading my bulletin board. My mom told me that my girlfriend kept calling and wanted to know when I got off of work. We had a night function and she told her after midnight.

I became worried that Shar¡ might have gotten confused and called me Friday morning instead of Saturday, and then wouldn't call me back when she was supposed to! I also knew that if she did call, it would be during the eleven to twelve hour when Mother always is talking with Mema on the phone! When I woke up, I found a message that they had all gone shopping, and Shar¡ did indeed call at 11:20! I was so happy to hear from hear. I knew that it would be a milestone in our relationship if Shar¡ did go out with me despite Christina's constant bitching and threats! I found out that they did have a few spats and Shar¡ argued that she really wanted to go out with me, or she wouldn't be fighting Christina so hard!!! She and I came up with all of the faults in Christina's reasoning on why we shouldn't go out, and I was glad to hear that she believe's them!

We talked for an hour until her mom woke up and wanted her off of the phone. We had a good funny conversation and then ended up making plans for the night. I told her that I'd pick her up at 8:45, figuring that would give me half an hour to change and make it to her house. She gave me directions to her house and laughed when I told her that I was using my little sister's Magna Doodle to take them on. It's cool because she lives right around the corner from Busch at Fowler and 53rd St. She was trying to tidy up her room while she was on the phone. She says that she rearranges her room all of the time because she really likes change. I thought about that not being good for relationships... Cord kept squealing and getting into trouble so she was feeding him cookies that she bought at Publix where she works. Her last day was today, though, for she has a new job at the Boston Chicken across the Street from her house. I realized that I should have told her to call my house if anything came up and I could call home before going to her house. I guess I was being pessimistic because so many things that I plan don't work out too great.

When I got to work, I found out that the fucking park was staying open an extra half an hour and my being on time would be severely fucked!!! I was really pissed because I had no way to get a hold of her and this wasn't a good way to start out on a first date. I just happened to be in the lounge as Christina came in and was calling Shar¡!!! She was still pissed at me but told me I could talk to Shar¡ anyway. While I was waiting, Laura came up and sat next to me. Nice... I then told Shar¡ about being late and she said it was OK. Christina invited herself to the party so we wouldn't be alone together and the was told by black Chris that it was a Congo employee party only! I tried to agree with her saying the only reason Shar¡ could go is because she would have been my date, but Christina ended up not falling for it. I was then much happier and my day passed on with less stress since I knew Shar¡ wouldn't be pissed at me. The tension built up towards the end of the work night as everybody was anticipating an awesome party!!!

I got dressed in the parking lot and then headed over to Shar¡'s apartment. It wasn't that hard to find. Of course, Christina was there, but oh well. Shar¡ was just as beautiful as I had remembered, and as I had bragged to the guys about at work. I especially told my buddy Stephen. She wore tight jeans and a cut off black top that showed off about two or three inches of stomach. Having not seen her for a few days, and since I hadn't really looked at her hips and thighs that one night, my mind had tried to play a trick on me. I remembered how beautiful she was from the waist up but figured there must be something wrong! The only thing wrong was me!!! She's beautiful!!! I stood in the bathroom with her as she got ready. I love her hair and eyes, and have told her so. Her face is beautiful and I also melt over the sound of her voice. She has a slight smoker's rasp which makes it sexy. We talked and she showed me the pictures on her walls and in her photo album. She had one from her last day of school at the end of seventh grade! She also was very fat for a while especially after having Cord. She gave me some water to drink which tasted really good after being in the heat all day, and she and I each ate a cookie. It was funny. I didn't want to take Cord's cookies at first but she insisted!

Christina then offered to drive. I wouldn't be caught dead with that psycho bitch, not knowing whether she'd try to kill me or abandon me somewhere. I also didn't want her in my car with us, and it sounded like Shar¡ didn't either. Thus we took two cars. Shar¡ and I talked the entire way over and at the entrance to the apartment complex, we actually told the security guard that Christina was with us and to let her in as well. Stupid us. When I told the guard the apartment number, he laughed and asked us if we were going to Ryan's. It was kind of funny. We wrapped our arms around each other and headed to find the apartment. We found it rather quickly and went up.

In the living room, they had set up a strobe light and an awesome stereo. It was dark and they were all dancing. Karim was on the couch and we said hello. Jenni came up and we hugged and kissed on the cheeks. Everybody was calling out my name and checking out that girl I had under my arm. I felt awesome!!! Scott and Ryan were in pajama's and told us that the keg is in the back room. A lot of people seemed really happy to see that I showed up. We walked into the dining room and saw them playing drinking Uno! We both thought they were rather stupid and wanted to know when they were going to play quarters. We ran to the back first and got some beers. It tasted damn good but I only drank two since I was driving. Landry, MArk, Tamica, Paul, Karim, Chris, Stephen, Dayanara, Jenni, Jeff, Jason and others were dancing. James, Kevin, Sean, Damien, Michael, Melissa, and some others were playing cards. There weren't a lot of people there for a party, but it was cool that almost everybody knows everybody so well. I felt much more comfortable with my baby not knowing anybody thus giving me something to do.

It took us a little bit, about a beer to get going. They finally started playing quarters and I let her get in on the game while I went around and talked. Clint, Martin, Ron, Nilsa, and Stephanie all showed up randomly. Ron and Krissie even showed up for a few minutes. We took her a cigarette break outside on the stairs after a while. We had been hanging on each other all night. The way she actually grabs a hold of me feels so awesome! We talked outside, not without Christina, though. Everywhere we would go, the lonely bitch would show up. We tried to hook her up with both Chris and Clint who were both drunk. Chris had already told me that he wanted to screw her that day she came in with Shar¡.

On our second trip outside, just to cool off. We started kissing. No farting around in this relationship. Boy have I learned!!! I overcame her smoker's breathe immediately just for the opportunity to be kissing a girl again, especially the most beautiful that I've ever been with!!! Not long after, Laura came in with her cousin, Chrissy. She introduced us and told me that she is coming to Mardi Gras as well. That's cool because she looks damn good. Boy I'd love for Shar¡ to go with me. Every once in a while when I would detach myself from Shar¡, I would sit and talk with Laura. She asked me if that was my ex-girlfriend, and I said no. Unfortunately I alienated her for a little while over a relationship that might not last long. Damn! I hope Laura hasn't talked about liking me to Chrissy only to see me making out with some gorgeous girl. Laura grabbed a hold of my arm and pulled it a little bit as she walked by us on the stairs one time, not saying a word.

We made out on the couch for a while and finished up there as well. We were squeezing each other tight and pulling ourselves as close as possible every once in awhile. True bliss! She was also kissing my chest a little bit where my shirt was unbuttoned at the top. She also had her hands all inside my shirt, both front and back, and I had mine in the back of hers. We danced to a slow song and then one really bassy one, to which I grinded her on my leg as much as was proper since I was in front of so many friends. I knew that she was enjoying that, though. Stephen came over to talk to me when Shar¡ went to the bathroom once. He said that I scored big time and he was damn proud of me!!!!! DAMN PROUD!!! He was really impressed by this one and said that all I said was true!!! I felt awesome again.

Christina took to a bottle of one hundred proof vodka to ease her `broken heart.' She was really wasted and kept wandering outside to the stairwell and we would push her back inside and plop her down on the couch. Although I really wanted her to, we figured it'd be bad if she fell down the stairs. We were also bouncing this small plastic basketball off of her forehead. It was funny. She finally told us that she doesn't care if we go out forever anymore! Thank God! Since she obviously couldn't drive, we gave her to Chris to take care of for the night. Chris tried to steal Shar¡ from me once on the couch. I quickly got up and pulled his big ugly ass away from her. She later told me that he came up to her later and asked her why she rejected him and then shows up at his house two days later!

Earlier today when Christina was on the phone, she would be secretive every once in a while and would tell Shar¡ not to tell me something. Of course she spilled her guts on her on on the stairway. She said that Christina was feeding her a bunch of shit about me having a girlfriend already and so on. I was glad that Shar¡ was honest enough to tell me what's up.

Shar¡ and I actually tried to play a game of Uno. I sat on a stool and she leaned her whole body against me. Everybody ended up ditching the game after a while, though, leaving James there by himself. I congratulated him for winning and we took off out to the couch. We were supposed to pick Cord up at twelve and I asked her around then if she was about ready. We had just gotten comfortable with her legs up across mine. She said that we'll stick it out a bit longer and we started making out. She's so great!

We split at 12:30 and drove around the corner to her brother's apartment. His girlfriend just had a newborn. He was crashed on the couch and never woke up. Cord was a little stingy because of such an abrupt wake up, but he soon settled down. I took him while she put the car seat in the back of my car. She then ran inside to get Cord some milk and I sat there and was trying to get him to talk. he's almost two and is still shy, but soon he was asking about his momma and was smiling really big. He's a really cute little kid, but he's big. We drove back to her apartment and put Cord to bed. We then went into the living room and were standing there holding each other tightly. She feels so good. She had to be at work at six in the morning and I had to be back at Busch at 7:30. She walked me downstairs and we kissed good night. She waited at the bottom of the stairwell for me to get going and she peaced me.

She asked when she could call me today and I said that 4:30 would be safe. I fell asleep when I got home but woke up fifteen minutes later as she called. I have a small cold that gave me a sore throat. I then proceeded to lose most of my voice. At times I can't even talk at all! I drank Pepsi to break up the mucus and could talk well enough to hear on the phone. She says that she went in to work this morning and ended up not having to be there until six P.M.! She says that they usually will write P.M. but not A.M., and nothing was there. She said that one of her managers then took her to breakfast. She ended up going to this park near her house with her mom and got some sun and went boating. She was bragging later that she was playing captain and was driving the boat.

She told me that her mommy wanted to meet me and is going to this little country bar called Tally Ho. She asked me if I wanted to come, and I said sure. She had to go and get ready for work and drop Cord off at the baby sitter's but she said that I could come over at ten. I then went to sleep.

I was on boardwalk today at Kumba and saw Laura coming up in street clothes. We conveniently `ran' into each other and started talking. She has an exam in that one class she is taking at USF tomorrow. She said that she was going to study today but had to stop by and get her schedule first. We talked for a few more minutes, but I felt it just wasn't the same. We bid each other goodbye as she left.

I'm really enjoying dating Shar¡. I have had two great dates and haven't spent any money except for gas! The party was all paid for, and the entertainment at Tally Hos was free. Her mom bought her a Pepsi and some popcorn that we shared a little of. They had an awesome karioke setup with laser disk videos to tons of songs. They were all taking turns singing. It sucked not being able to speak right. I said hello to her mom and her friend, and another couple there with them. We sat together to the right of her mom. I talked every once in a while with this group next to us. They asked me if I was going to sing, but then I told them I'm losing my voice. One girl asked how and I said at work and I ended up telling them about Busch Gardens on the Kumba and that I lost it screaming at the Brazilian's. they thought that was really funny.

My baby actually went up and sang. She started with The Rose, and did really well especially since it is a slow song. I was proud. She did a couple with her mom and sand Sister Christian by herself later. She's a lot better than she thinks she is! We massaged each others arms and legs the entire night when we weren't holding hands. She knows how to tickle you just right with those little fingernails. She was in a red crossover top and black pants. She had her tits stuck out nicely for me. I kept noticing the guys in the other group looking at us playing with each other. It was fun.

`Mom and Daughter' sang a final song towards the end of the night. I really liked this one. It's called Crazy. It starts off by the singer telling her mama that she's found a new kind of love, like none she's ever found before! It then says that the guy is crazy... crazy over her! It was a really cool song and I would have loved it if it had been `dedicated' to me. We were throwing popcorn up in the air and trying to catch it in our mouths. She kept screwing up and told me to do it. I threw it high and caught it with ease. I finally got her to feed me one, too. I suddenly had a strong memory of Nicole and I eating popcorn at Busch Gardens that time and had to think about that for a minute. I don't think her mom really likes me yet. I didn't get to really talk to her yet because of my voice. I would have had the whole table laughing if only I could have talked... Fuck.

We also tried to play pool. She says she is really good and was taught by the number two player in the world at the time when she was in Atlanta. that would have been fun. We went back to the really nice pool room only to have the bouncer come back and tell her that you have to be twenty-one by state law after 9:30 to be in there. I took her by the shoulders and laughed as I said, `I can't take you anywhere, can I!?!' She laughed but admitted that I could easily pass. She was telling me that she wants to get a wavy perm when her hair grows longer. I was looking at her beautiful full-bodied straight hair. It is light brown with awesome sun blonde highlights. I told her that I love her hair and really think that she should keep it straight. She asked me if I really think so and I said definitely!

We headed out at two. She was telling me about being on the phone with Christina when I got there. It turns out that she had called me at home at 9:30 and father said she was surprised that I was out. She was then on the phone with Shar¡ when I got there. I wouldn't talk to her though. She says that she and Chris fucked at his apartment. Well she got what she wanted, and so did he., but I still got the gorgeous one and he's stuck with the dog! I told Shar¡ about the events at the party after we left. they said that Ronnie finally passed out and they put talcum powder on his face to make him look dead! When Chris saw him, he ran and called 911! but Scott soon corrected the situation. There also was almost a fight when some guys from Skyride tried to come and pick up Stephanie. I had heard at lunch from Nilsa and others that this was the best party they have ever been to. I agreed and they admitted that I was rather occupied! It was funny.

We drove back to her apartment after saying goodbye to everybody. She had joked that I could spend the night with her, but she has to pick up Cord at seven and be at work later on. Her mom was also right behind us. Something that keeps surprising me is the fact that Shar¡ wears red lipstick, but I've never gotten any on me. It has disappeared both times so far and I never noticed when! We stood there in her house and she had taken off her shoes and we were laughing about our height differences. We figured out that if I sat of the arm of the couch, she would be about an inch taller, and she liked that. We held each other tight when her breast right against my heart which was racing. She noticed. We kissed and it was hard not being able to breathe out of your nose. I started working my hands into her shirt right at Mommy Dearest's car door shut! We kissed goodbye and she walked me downstairs. As I looked at her standing there, we looked really guilty, like sex starved kids. Our hair was rustled and we looked so bad. It was funny. Shar¡ told her mom that she thought she had to drop her friend off somewhere else. I knew that Shar¡ was hoping for more time for us together. Mom was being a bitch and told Shar¡ that there aren't supposed to be people in the house when she isn't there. I took off to let bitch cool off.

But I feel so great being with Shar¡! I'm really glad I met her and hope we'll go far!

April 21, 1993 - Wednesday - Emily, Kimmeth, Party

For unlawful carnal knowledge. Emily told me that prostitutes in Britain used to be arrested for this offense. It later became shortened to just FUCK. Van Halen used it recently as the title of their album. It's an interesting story about fuck's origin, creative if not true.

I heard a really good joke just a little while ago. A guy on TV was describing the benefits of a cellular phone. He said that if you ever get pulled over by a cop, just call 911 and report a burglary a few blocks away while he's checking your license plate! We thought it was pretty funny, and it sounded like a pretty good idea.

Well, it's been quite a while since I've had the opportunity to write in my journal. I didn't go on my trip with Kimmeth, which is fucking disgusting! Cecil told me that he'd kill me if I didn't go. It just worked out that I had too many important grades the past few days. I had a chemistry quiz, my calculus exam, and a German quiz and oral final exam! I called her back last week to tell her, but she was on the phone and called me back a little while later. Ed and I were supposed to go play pool and then work out, but she called just in time as I was leaving. We talked for quite a long time, and she was paying for it! We promised to make up for me not going over the summer. She seems interested in learning to play pool and she wants me to teach her. That'll be something cool for us to do.

We had a really cool talk. She did ask me what she should do, since she RSVPed saying that she had a date. Oh well. I did express how upset I was that I couldn't go, and she seemed to have sympathy. She mentioned this one guy who she had been going out with a couple times. She said that they've really started drifting apart pretty quickly. One big turn off was when one of her friends said that he'd make a good husband. She then told me that he had blue eyes, but they were the wrong color blue, not like mine! There were some other pretty interesting references that she made that really sounded like she's waiting around for me. I can dream, can't I!?!

I went to the induction ceremony for Phi Eta Sigma, the other National Honor Society for freshmen. There are only two such societies, and I'm in both! They make up for some pretty good resume lines. I dressed up all nice in my dark suit, and was definitely one if not the best dressed person there. And I wasn't overdressed, either. There were a lot of really cute girls there, what a surprise! I couldn't help but do some serious flirting. It was pretty cool. The only bad part was that I had to walk both ways to the hotel in my suit.

Saturday night, Ed and I were here and were trying to figure out what to do. We had studied until almost ten in Turlington Hall. They call this weekend one of the biggest party weekends of the year! Ed wanted to go dancing at Florida Theater. I kept suggesting that we drive down Fraternity Row to at least look at the parties. I had heard about a beach party at Chi Phi. While we were walking to his car, we even got beeped at by a car full of cute girls. We actually found a parking space and decided to check it out. They had filled the bottom of the house and their deck with sand, and had built a pool and waterfall. It was really awesome. They also had a real DJ. There weren't many people there for a while, though, but then the girls started pouring in. I was flirting more than I ever have, and Ed told me that he actually overheard a group of girls that were going to hit on me.

We met these two gorgeous girls who I would have sworn were sorority. Ed was talking to this one named Eileen. She had a strong resemblance to Nicole, but cuter. I fell in love with her roommate. the two of them were so much like the two of us. We talked just to the roommate for a few minutes and Ed kept making some bad statements that I quickly negated to the girl. He said that guys generally go after sorority girls, and I rebutted that it wasn't necessarily true. She asked me if I did, and I said no. Good move. It turns out that they are both moving into a room up on the twelfth floor in our tower next year!!!, and they are freshmen. That's going to be really cool, I hope!

Ed and I have perfected a little study routine lately. We'll do our normal day until about three or four. Then we'll take about a two hour frisbee and sun break. The exercise is really doing us good. We hang out at the pool now always. I knew that once I laid out there, i'd never be able to go to the field again. Girls, girls everywhere! I usually will jump in the pool for a few minutes before we head in. We'll then eat, take a half hour nap, and then go to the library at seven. It works really well and I've been getting a lot done lately.

After frisbee yesterday, Ed had to go play music, so I didn't make it to the library on time. I looked around in GPA for Chris at nine. He said that he'd leave a message on the door. The only one I saw really looked like a girl's handwriting. We usually only right a name on the door, not a sentence. it turns out that he was in there with two girls!!! Darn. Cecil was also in the building somewhere, I found out later. I then went to CSE. I looked in the normal spot and found Emily. I had left my books by the stairs, because I figured she wouldn't be there and I'd rather study on a higher floor where the cuter girls are. I also don't want to impose on her. She told me to get my books and get my butt back over here! I was glad. Sheila and her friend were there around the corner, too.

I ran upstairs just to see who else was there, and found Jon. I then went nd played with Emily. I knew that we wouldn't get much done, but oh well. She said that she was really glad to see me in a happy mood again. She said that I've been rather pissy for about two weeks. I told her it was because I never get to see her anymore, and when I do it's only about school. Told her. We proceeded to mess around for quite a while and have a pretty good time. We were making some sexual jokes as well. We were laughing about earlier today when I was walking with Jennifer and Noel after German. Jennifer and I were leaning all over each other, and then somebody called my name from behind. I slowed down, and it was Emily on her bike. SHe was wearing a salmon weave shirt and had her hair down, and looked really good. I was surprised at how feminine she looked! I said, 'Cute!' pretty loud and then started talking to her. It was time for me to head off to calculus anyway, so I said goodbye to Jen and Noel. Emily was laughing because she was surprised that I just brushed them off like that! It was funny.

I then was complimenting her again in the library, telling her how much I liked her shirt. I did it a few more times and it was pretty interesting. We continued to play around and have fun, and not get a damn thing done!