August 26, 1993 - Thursday - Shari's second 'love'!!!

I'm flying!!! I'm on a natural high that feels damn good right now. It's partially ego, mostly love!

I waited around this morning for Ashley to call so we could walk to Biology together. Chris had to meet a teacher during second period and was going to walk with me. I had my letters ready to mail home to my family and to Carey Ann. Ashley called and said that she wasn't in her room and said that I'd have to take on Biology alone. She said that she'd return the favor someday when I don't want to go to class. I walked with Chris to the postal box and then we headed our separate ways. I got to class and since Thursdays are solely discussion days, the teacher said that she would be reviewing what we had gone over the past few days for all of the newer people and won't ever teach anything new on Thursdays. I thought that was cool and left. I had started to think that today was turning into a bad day because Ashley hadn't showed up and all, because my days usually seem to follow a certain trend. I believe fate is funny that way. I knew that if I let that happen, I wouldn't receive my letter from Shar¡ or it would be much worse that I was expecting.

I decided to quickly turn things around and cheer myself up. I figured that I wouldn't have been able to leave Biology so early if Ashley had been there. That way I was able to head over to Criser and get the copy of my schedule that I needed and then head home early. I walked into the room to find a maintenance guy actually pumping out our bathtub drain. I was really surprised how quickly they responded and that cheered me up. I asked him if he could loosen up the shower head because it literally hurt to take a shower because of all of the mineral deposits in the head. We had to do that last year. He said that he'd just get me a whole new shower head!, and then I knew that my turnaround day had come true. I cleaned the bathtub to perfection after he left and was able to brag to everyone else about what I had done in the bathroom. They were all just as happy. That was about the only nuisance in our entire dorm except for the fact that the beds had yet to be bunked.

Just a little while later while Chris and I were eating lunch, they came in and bunked the beds as well! I then felt that the luck couldn't stop now so I headed downstairs to check the mail...

I had fully prepared myself for a disappointment as I was in the elevator but when I saw two envelopes in our mailbox I just knew that one was from Shar¡. I pulled them out and there it was! The stamp had a giant red heart on it and said, `LOVE.' She had written, `XXX OOO,' and, `Sealed with a lick cause a kiss wouldn't stick!!!,' across the back. I knew right then that this was going to be a good letter and I sat down to read it right in the commons. I wanted to read it to myself first without my roommates being there to harass me. She wrote the following:

Dan,
It's only been a couple of hours since you've been gone and it seems like forever. I really miss you alot and even more as each day goes by. I just wanted to write and tell you how much I've enjoyed the time we've spent together and everything we do. I also wanted to tell you how much I've fallen in love with you and everything about you. {That fucking killed me when I read that line!!!!! My eyes grew wide and I swear I almost had a heart attack!!! I just couldn't believe my eyes!!!} I always told myself that after 5 yrs. with someone I would never fall in love again, but I have and hopefully I won't get hurt this time. Cord has also enjoyed you being around and I can tell because he has asked for you already. It really means alot to me how you and Cord get along because he's gonna need someone here for him to. I would like for you to tell me how you feel about Cord being there all the time, (and hopefully it will) but if our relationship last for along time then he will end up calling you Daddy Dan because as you know his Dad will never come and see him and Cord has only seen him 1 or 2 times so he doesn't really know him. As far as I'm concerned I don't ever want him to come around. I also want you to understand something........ While you are up there I will be going to the beach and to clubs and other things and yes it will be with with guys mostly but I don't want you to be worried about it because these guys are only friends. See while I was growing up I was the only girl around because I was the only girl cousin that lives here in Tampa and all my cousins always brought their guy friends around and that's why all my friends are mostly guys. But I friends that I do have are strictly friends and nothing else, they have been friends with me for about 4 or 5 yrs. If it bothers you I would like for you to say something because I do care what you think. I am not going to be out looking for anyone else because I have my heart and mind set on you. When I do look around and see other guys all I see is you. When you left Saturday night I cried as I watched you drive away because it hurt to see you go. But then I said if it was ment to be you will call, write, and we'll see each other. Are you coming down the 10th and stay with me at Christy's? Well I guess I'll let ya go but not for long. I'll be thinking about you and counting the days that go by.
Love, Shar¡

I brought it back upstairs almost bouncing excitedly the entire way. I shared it with Chris and we had a long talk about Shar¡ and how she and I met. I had a class to go to eventually that is my new honors class. I took my camera and some coupons to get my film developed after class at Eckerds. I couldn't wait any longer to see them. My class ended up being pretty awesome. it was really interesting and the professor is a woman who is a little older but still attractive. I tried to flirt a little bit and even pulled her overhead screen down when she couldn't reach it. Afterwards I walked to Eckerds and put the film in and then headed across the street to McDonalds to eat and kill the hour it takes to develop the film. I sat there and read Shar¡'s letter over and over again. It just all seemed so unbelievable, like a dream. I thought to myself that I am either amazed and completely excited about what might be coming for us, or the girl is a damn good bullshitter or was trying to scare me off with the Daddy and `commitment' things. That's reading far too much into it I hope but it still does show my slight mistrust of her.

I went back to Eckerds and went shopping for a little while. I looked at all of the love cards and went through them finding each one far too mushy or lame. I then saw a beautiful one that turned out to have a brilliant message in it. I knew that I couldn't have said it better myself and was far beyond pleased with myself for finding it. Damn I was in a good mood. The card said something like, `Who?, When?, Where?, Why?' and the inside said, `You, Any time, Any place, You know why!' It was an awesome card! I looked at the pictures on the walk home and they came out rather impressively. She looks a little bigger in the pictures than she really is though. She's still gorgeous and I showed he off a lot when I got home. Even though she begged me not to, I showed the guys the one of her white butt sticking out but only gave them a quick glance at the one of her in her underwear because the way her thighs burned really emphasized her stretch marks. But between us it's a gorgeous picture the way she's holding her hair and showing off her tits.

I called her at three once everybody had left but she wasn't there. She ended up coming home just minutes later and called me not long after. We ended up not really talking about the letter to any great detail and I told her so as I wrote her a pretty emotional reply right after we got off the phone. When we talked later on I mentioned that and she said that I didn't sound like I wanted to talk about either. She really wanted me to read her my letter over the phone but I couldn't. She told me all about this talk she and her father had about me and how he really thinks she should settle down with me and mary me if things all go right! I had already heard this from Buffy because we talked for a little while before she gave Shar¡ the phone. She told me that Shar¡'s dad is really on my side and is trying to keep her from running about with her friends all of the time for my sake. That's pretty cool! Anyway, Shar¡ told me all about their talk and so on. That was pretty cool, too. She also told me that she had talked to Michael's mother the other day for the first time in six months and told her all about me. That impressed me.

Shar¡ and I also talked somewhat sexually for essentially the first time. She said that she and Christy might have a lingerie sale party and she said that she might buy something for her to wear for me when she comes up! I told her my general dislike for the things, skin is much better. She then said that it kind of... and I cut her off agreeing with her and told her to do so. I then wanted her to finish her sentence but she wouldn't. I told her about getting the shower finally fixed and she had said that she actually took a shower with Cord today. The three of us used to play this game that Cord and I were jealous of each other and always wanted Mommy's last kiss. I told her I was jealous and she promised that I'll get my turn.

Emily called me today as well! I recognized her voice almost instantly and we caught up as quick as possible. She told me that she's taking a year off from school and going to do missionary work down in Guatemala!!! I told her that I'd still take her to Busch Gardens if she wants to go as long as she drives and gives me back my Garth Brooks CD! We had a cool little talk but I had to get her off the phone when the second line beeped because I was expecting Shar¡. I gave Jenn a call and we talked for about half an hour, too. She's pretty much deciding not to pledge to her sorority until Spring and we talked a lot about that. She's still sick and wasn't really in the hyper condition to screw around like we usually do when we talk.

Leigh Anne from next door had come over once and asked me if we'd help her build a computer desk later on. I obliged since I've put together lot's of those prefabricated things at home and know what I'm doing. Her cute roommate was also there when I went over and both were in their pajamas. Leigh Anne helped me separate my hardware and we had a great time being perverted about my hardware and about screwing. It got really intense and I loved it. They both kept `accidentally' flashing me to a sense and the other one would always giggle and I would smile and pretend nothing was up. It was funny. They were both amazed and extremely impressed at how quickly I created a complex and beautiful desk for them. I did a great job and they were very happy. We'll I'm off to a good start with the neighbors this year!

Ashley gave me a call at 10:30 and I called her back after Chris was done using the phone. She told me that she would definitely be going to class tomorrow morning. She said she had gone to a party on Wednesday night and got wasted and never came home. She apologized and said that she hoped I'm not mad with her. Of course not. We talked socially for a few minutes and then I asked about Laura. She had answered the phone and I didn't even say hello to her because I wasn't really paying attention that I knew anybody there buy Ashley! I got back on the phone with Laura and apologized and started talking to her and actually being pretty nice. We were being perverted, too which was quite a bit of fun. We ended up talking for over forty-five minutes!!! which really surprised me. that was really cool though. Chris didn't know who I was talking to but kept laughing at some of the things I was saying to her. It was pretty funny and ass kissy.

But only Shar¡ matters any more... this is a feeling I haven't had in a long time where I actually don't have the need to be constantly talking to a girl. I have found social satisfaction...

April 21, 1993 - Wednesday - Emily, Kimmeth, Party

For unlawful carnal knowledge. Emily told me that prostitutes in Britain used to be arrested for this offense. It later became shortened to just FUCK. Van Halen used it recently as the title of their album. It's an interesting story about fuck's origin, creative if not true.

I heard a really good joke just a little while ago. A guy on TV was describing the benefits of a cellular phone. He said that if you ever get pulled over by a cop, just call 911 and report a burglary a few blocks away while he's checking your license plate! We thought it was pretty funny, and it sounded like a pretty good idea.

Well, it's been quite a while since I've had the opportunity to write in my journal. I didn't go on my trip with Kimmeth, which is fucking disgusting! Cecil told me that he'd kill me if I didn't go. It just worked out that I had too many important grades the past few days. I had a chemistry quiz, my calculus exam, and a German quiz and oral final exam! I called her back last week to tell her, but she was on the phone and called me back a little while later. Ed and I were supposed to go play pool and then work out, but she called just in time as I was leaving. We talked for quite a long time, and she was paying for it! We promised to make up for me not going over the summer. She seems interested in learning to play pool and she wants me to teach her. That'll be something cool for us to do.

We had a really cool talk. She did ask me what she should do, since she RSVPed saying that she had a date. Oh well. I did express how upset I was that I couldn't go, and she seemed to have sympathy. She mentioned this one guy who she had been going out with a couple times. She said that they've really started drifting apart pretty quickly. One big turn off was when one of her friends said that he'd make a good husband. She then told me that he had blue eyes, but they were the wrong color blue, not like mine! There were some other pretty interesting references that she made that really sounded like she's waiting around for me. I can dream, can't I!?!

I went to the induction ceremony for Phi Eta Sigma, the other National Honor Society for freshmen. There are only two such societies, and I'm in both! They make up for some pretty good resume lines. I dressed up all nice in my dark suit, and was definitely one if not the best dressed person there. And I wasn't overdressed, either. There were a lot of really cute girls there, what a surprise! I couldn't help but do some serious flirting. It was pretty cool. The only bad part was that I had to walk both ways to the hotel in my suit.

Saturday night, Ed and I were here and were trying to figure out what to do. We had studied until almost ten in Turlington Hall. They call this weekend one of the biggest party weekends of the year! Ed wanted to go dancing at Florida Theater. I kept suggesting that we drive down Fraternity Row to at least look at the parties. I had heard about a beach party at Chi Phi. While we were walking to his car, we even got beeped at by a car full of cute girls. We actually found a parking space and decided to check it out. They had filled the bottom of the house and their deck with sand, and had built a pool and waterfall. It was really awesome. They also had a real DJ. There weren't many people there for a while, though, but then the girls started pouring in. I was flirting more than I ever have, and Ed told me that he actually overheard a group of girls that were going to hit on me.

We met these two gorgeous girls who I would have sworn were sorority. Ed was talking to this one named Eileen. She had a strong resemblance to Nicole, but cuter. I fell in love with her roommate. the two of them were so much like the two of us. We talked just to the roommate for a few minutes and Ed kept making some bad statements that I quickly negated to the girl. He said that guys generally go after sorority girls, and I rebutted that it wasn't necessarily true. She asked me if I did, and I said no. Good move. It turns out that they are both moving into a room up on the twelfth floor in our tower next year!!!, and they are freshmen. That's going to be really cool, I hope!

Ed and I have perfected a little study routine lately. We'll do our normal day until about three or four. Then we'll take about a two hour frisbee and sun break. The exercise is really doing us good. We hang out at the pool now always. I knew that once I laid out there, i'd never be able to go to the field again. Girls, girls everywhere! I usually will jump in the pool for a few minutes before we head in. We'll then eat, take a half hour nap, and then go to the library at seven. It works really well and I've been getting a lot done lately.

After frisbee yesterday, Ed had to go play music, so I didn't make it to the library on time. I looked around in GPA for Chris at nine. He said that he'd leave a message on the door. The only one I saw really looked like a girl's handwriting. We usually only right a name on the door, not a sentence. it turns out that he was in there with two girls!!! Darn. Cecil was also in the building somewhere, I found out later. I then went to CSE. I looked in the normal spot and found Emily. I had left my books by the stairs, because I figured she wouldn't be there and I'd rather study on a higher floor where the cuter girls are. I also don't want to impose on her. She told me to get my books and get my butt back over here! I was glad. Sheila and her friend were there around the corner, too.

I ran upstairs just to see who else was there, and found Jon. I then went nd played with Emily. I knew that we wouldn't get much done, but oh well. She said that she was really glad to see me in a happy mood again. She said that I've been rather pissy for about two weeks. I told her it was because I never get to see her anymore, and when I do it's only about school. Told her. We proceeded to mess around for quite a while and have a pretty good time. We were making some sexual jokes as well. We were laughing about earlier today when I was walking with Jennifer and Noel after German. Jennifer and I were leaning all over each other, and then somebody called my name from behind. I slowed down, and it was Emily on her bike. SHe was wearing a salmon weave shirt and had her hair down, and looked really good. I was surprised at how feminine she looked! I said, 'Cute!' pretty loud and then started talking to her. It was time for me to head off to calculus anyway, so I said goodbye to Jen and Noel. Emily was laughing because she was surprised that I just brushed them off like that! It was funny.

I then was complimenting her again in the library, telling her how much I liked her shirt. I did it a few more times and it was pretty interesting. We continued to play around and have fun, and not get a damn thing done!

April 7, 1993 - Wednesday - Melissa, Jennifer, Emily

The world seems to be falling apart for many of the people around me. I've spent so much time trying to comfort both Emily and now Jennifer in the past few days. Their confusion and misery is causing me to be in a very mellow mood. I've been listening to music from the late seventies and early eighties a lot lately. In fact, I'm listening to it right now. It helps to keep you calm.

I left the room late with Chris today. His bike got stolen so he has to walk nowadays. He went to the library and I went to the language lab in Dauer Hall to take the second half of the practice placement exam. The German department is testing it on us to rate how they should use it when placing students that take it for real. I arrived just in time. Everybody else was already there and seated. It was funny how a bunch of people were all trying to say hi to me at once. To avoid confusion I tried to avoid contact with a lot of them. I said hi directly to Fran‡oise. I then heard something and turned around to see Jennifer looking back, and we said hello. Christina also tried to say hello. I talked to Elaine as I came in and she said that I could come up to her office afterwards to find out my test grade from last week.

The test only took half an hour, and then I had the chance to talk to everybody. I coaxed Jennifer, rather easily, to come find out her test grade with me. Brad went, too. We also talked with Fran‡oise and Dianne for a few minutes. On the way upstairs, I looked into a room and saw a really cute girl and made a comment about her being so. Jennifer freaked out and said that I'm not allowed to look at other girls when I'm with her. That surprised me. She's also the kind of girl who will let the guy open every single fucking door for her, not that I'm complaining.

Jennifer was being really hyper, and I kept trying to control her. I was trying to hold her still by the shoulders, but eventually had to sit her down in a chair in the hallway. Elaine had yet to come upstairs to her office. We started talking about her and her boyfriend. She was saying how they are allowed to date other people, and touch, too, but if he sleeps with any other girl, she'll cut his dick off! I was surprised again, and an immediate interest was formed when she said that she'd mess around with other guys. Brad made a rude comment, and she wanted to hit him, but I wrestled with her to keep her under control. It was fun.

Elaine finally showed up, and gave us our tests. She said that she'd take us one at a time because her office is so small. Jennifer started whining that she needed me to be there for moral support. Elaine sort of laughed and we moved into the next office. She was asking if Veronica was in her office, and I said no, that she just left. They all thought that I was bullshitting and didn't know who Veronica is, but I really did. It was funny. I asked Elaine about the picture of Melissa from last semester. She was glad that I remembered about it, because she was going to let me have it and kept meaning to bring it to me in class. She then gave us out tests. It was a pretty hard section, but I did pretty damn good, an 87%. Jennifer was really pissed off and hurt because she only got a 75% and she felt like she had done much better. Elaine gave me the picture a we left.

The picture is beautiful!!! Except that Melissa has her eyes shut. We are centered in the picture, and Cindy and Fran‡oise are to our sides. It's practically every girl that I cared about last semester in that class. I'm so happy to finally have a real picture of Melissa, especially since I'm in it, too! What memories that picture will bring back...

Jennifer was really mad, and I decided to walk her home and talk. She asked me to come upstairs with her so that she can cry and complain to me. I decided to skip Calculus and hang out with her. We talked, and she asked me what's she going to do. I tried to help as best I could, and say he right things. I told her that I wish I knew what to say to make her feel better, but I don't. I was using all the lines that I thought of after I was talking to Emily on Monday. I was trying to help as best I could. She told me a story from her biology class. They were discussing ecology and environmental problems. The teacher told them to break up into smaller groups and discuss methods that might help solve some of these problems. She was called upon as a spokesperson for her group. Her response, `kill the people.' I agree fully!!! I think I came up with that idea in high school once. There are so many useless, sick, and unhappy people in the world that only lead to worse and worse conditions. Kill them.

I had to leave just before three to go to chemistry lab. I walked in right after Emily. Today was the day that we needed a partner, and we worked together. Like there was ever a doubt. I asked her how she was feeling, and she said good somewhat enthusiastically. I'm not sure that was good. She's in the mood to make some pretty rash decisions right now, and I'm hoping to help change that. She was a little mean today, and she said that I was acting as if I was in a pissed off mood. I was pouting when she was mean, and actually went far enough to make her feel guilty. I need to do some serious making up tomorrow in class!!! I didn't mean to carry it so far, but she did upset me a little. I think we both were just getting really frustrated with the lab which we had to do entirely because the answers were all data, not written out questions which can be copied, not that I'd do such a thing.

We were hanging on each other again, a lot. We would stand together, pressed against each other, and would gently rock back and forth gently pushing each other. She has been putting her arms around me to emphasize a point just as much as I do her lately. I think the other guys in lab got the point. We also will rest on each other, which can be a little interesting. We kept playing with each other hands, too. She laughed once and told me that we'll have to wait until after lab to hold hands! We then talked about amusement parks for a little while, and she told me some stuff about her childhood again, about going once to Coney Island and riding the roller coasters. She also says that she was scared of the big slides that you rode down on potato sacks. So was I!, and I told her.

I then had the honor to teach her what a 69 is!!! She knew it was sexual, and had a sexual reference when I said it, but she then asked exactly what it means. I drew a 69 on a paper and said that the balls represent each head. She asked what the stick parts were, the arms. I corrected her, saying that it's the rest of the body. She thought about it for a second and aid that it's not really sex then. I laughed and said that it definitely is, except you use your mouths instead, both at the same time rather than taking turns! Everything suddenly clicked and she freaked out wanting to know where I learned about it from. I said that it's common knowledge from high school, not really knowing what else to say. It was really funny!

I had mentioned halfway through lab about wanting to go to this record shop across the street after lab, and said that she could come with me. I didn't really say anything afterwards,. She actually asked if I still wanted to go, and then we did. They didn't have anything that great, though. They had a used copy of the new Garth Brooks CD a couple of weeks ago and I wish that I would have bought it. It's really smart to buy used CD's because the recordings don't age because a laser is used. Only a bad scratch can ever downgrade the quality of the music. It's also about half the price of a new CD.

We then walked to a pizza place called Leonardo's and had dinner. There was a cuter blonde alternative girl there with her friends who kept flirting with me. One thing that I like, and she knows this, is when a guy and a girl sit together on one side of a four seated table. I sat across from Melissa at Cafe Gardens that time, which might have been a major mistake. A very major mistake!!! I might have once or twice at the beginning with Kimmeth but never anymore. I chose the table, and when she arrived, she sat next to me on the one side, thankfully. I complained when the waiter at Bono's put us across from each other at a table for two, asking what if I had wanted to sit next to her? Of course, I did...

April 6, 1993 - Tuesday - Movie and food w/ Emily!

April 6, 1993 - Tuesday, Dienstag
Emily and I have taken our Chemistry test, which is a major relief to finally have done. It has caused quite a bit of stress this weekend. When I got home from studying with her Sunday night, I decided to check the date for my Alpha Lambda Delta inductions. It was about six in the evening. I had received the invitation a couple of days ago but had never read it. I was shocked to find out that they were held at three that day and attendance was mandatory for membership! I called the girl's phone number, and fortunately she said that if you missed the inductions, you can come by their office on Monday to get your certificate and pin! Thank goodness! Once again I slip past a seemingly impossible barrier easily and unscathed.

Emily called me, and then came over a little while later so that we could go on our date to the movies. We decided to see Jack the Bear with Danny DeVito. It was a pretty sad movie, and she cried towards the end. I think it's really cute, and when I smile at her when she's crying, she gets really bashful. She'll then try to keep me from looking at her. It was hard to relate to for both of us though, because it is about a family where the mother dies, the father is an alcoholic, and thus the kid is pretty tormented. There was a really cute little kid in there that made you laugh every time he said something.

I would have been thrilled to be there even if they hadn't played the actual movie. Not only because I'd be with Emily though, there was something better. Not really better, but really cool. They had a huge Kumba promotion going on with Busch Gardens and AMC theaters. They had posters and signs outside announcing that it is finally open! The track is aqua, and the coaster is yellow. It's four people wide which is very cool. I signed up to win free tickets as well. And then the beautiful thing happened. They showed a virtual reality ride on the movie screen, as if you were really riding on the Kumba!!! They showed the entire ride!!!, and it's awesome!!! the graphics were spectacular, and the scenery in the background even looked like real land. I was very impressed. I'd love to have a copy of that video! I can't wait to ride it. I hope I get my job soon.

We then went to a place called Bono's which serves barbecue. We each ordered a very big and delicious steak burger. We had a good time laughing and joking throughout dinner. We were telling stories, and I was listening and enjoying hers, without any urge to make fun of them or to make a sarcastic comment. She told me how her family went on vacation to San Francisco when she was seven. Her father bought her an old brass horn that she fell in love with at a shop, and she walked around with them in the streets blowing her horn. She continued to do so at home, and said that these German neighbors, who she called Nazis, used to call the police to have them tell the little girl down the street to stop making so much noise. It's cute picturing a seven year old Emily. I'd really like to see some photos. She also told me that they were on vacation through one of the big parks out west. They had stopped to take a picture, and as her dad would always tel her, she locked all of the doors to the car. Thus they were stuck at a scenic lookout because Emily had locked the keys in the car. She said that her father was very pissed off!

Bono's had a little section on their menu called porch snacks. We jokingly wondered if you had to eat those outside on the rustic little porch. It was really funny. We sat down on the porch as we were leaving to get the full effect of the Bono's meal. It was funny and we were having a really good time. After we got back to my room, we decided to go to the hospital to study. There's a place called the Blue Room where med students study. It is supposed to be quiet, but we joked around quite a bit. We were reading and playing around with each other's date books. She was sad because there would be nobody here this summer for her to do much with. I wrote down the day in August when I am coming back, so she can be happy once again. She told me that her parents are buying a new house up the road from where they are now. She wrote down her current address and phone number, which I pretty much knew anyway, in my leather planner. She did write down that it is subject to change! There was one free space left, and I told her that she could write in her measurements, but she wouldn't.

She also wrote down for me all of her free weeks in the summer, just so I'd know! She then filled in her birthday, and wrote me little reminders throughout the month that it will be coming. She said also said that ANY present will do! On her birthday she wrote:


Emily's 21st Birthday!
Party @ Dan's, His money, My I.D.
You never know what might happen on a full moon!

It still gives me goosebumps. Chris was all happy and gave me a high five when he read that one!

We have suddenly started making sexual jokes and references to each other all of the time this weekend. She mentioned how she has done it before, which helped overtake my too careful attitude with her. I didn't want to offend the `innocent little Catholic girl'! She said that Nick thinks of her like that and thus she acts like that around him. I'm not quite sure when it started, but it seems to be after the quarter fell into her underwear, and I asked for it back. We would occasionally joke before, but it was usually more mean than sexual.

We started writing on each other's arms and hands while we were studying. I was even writing on her notes, and she doesn't complain whatsoever anymore. I still had a faint trace of the under twenty-one stamp from the Coliseum on my hand. She wrote `Under 21, not even close!' on my hand. She usually won't let me writ eon her, but this time she was going to. When the time came, I couldn't think of anything good to write! She was then actually begging me to write on her hand! She said something a little derogatory, so I wrote our favorite saying on her hand, `Bite me!' She asked me if it were an invitation or a demand!! I told her that it doesn't matter, because I'll benefit either way! It was raining when we left to take me home.

I planned to meet Emily in the library at three yesterday. It didn't take me long to find her, and it didn't take long for her to start crying either. She had just found out that she did really bad on her calculus quiz, and her biology test. That wasn't helped much by the fact that we had a really hard chemistry test in just two hours. She keeps having serious thoughts about changing her major, but I'm still against it. It doesn't matter if you do perfectly now, if you do much better in your college when the courses really count. It's similar to my doing less than perfect at the beginning of high school, and then not ever thinking I had a chance at valedictorian, which was obviously a misconception. She was pretty upset though, and I really didn't know what to say.

We studied as much as we could for the chemistry test, slowly but surely starting to have fun and make sexual jokes. For the longest time, I had my leg crossed, and she was leaning over towards me using it as an armrest. That put her head about a foot away from mine as we talked, face to face. We were reading about osmotic pressure. I suddenly came up with the perfect little realization. I told her that since our skin can be considered a membrane, looking down at my leg and her arm, then were osmosing with each other right now. She laughed and pulled her arm away, saying that she has cooties now, but it wasn't long before she was back. It was a really funny tension breaker.

Sometimes she'll be really warm, and I'll ask her why she's so hot! She'll say it's genetics, or some other cute remark, and then I'll play along like her looks were what I was actually referring to. It's fun. I was using her thigh to warm up my hands on occasion. I jokingly admitted that I was just doing so to touch her leg, and we laughed. I also kept playing with her bra. If she's mean, I'll pretend like I'm going to snap it, although I never would. I told her once that I didn't plan on snapping it, I was going to pop it open! She gasped in surprise and started laughing. I was doing it one handed, too. She asked me if this was from experience, but I failed to give a truthful answer.

It made my day as we were walking to the test and she told me that I always have this surprising way of cheering her up! I really liked that compliment...

Hell struck again after our test. It was really hard, unfortunately. She was stressed out again because she still had to type a biology lab through the night which is due today. Poor baby. We just collapsed on a patch of grass and relaxed for a while, trying to forget the worries of the world.

April 4, 1993 - Sunday - Emily, Daytona Beach!

I've managed to have a rather interesting weekend so far, and I hope it doesn't take away from the chemistry test tomorrow night. I just got home from studying with Emily in the library. I met a bunch more of her friends today, mainly Sheila, who she kept talking about me meeting for quite a while. She's actually pretty cute, but is interested in this one guy named Derek. She has a couple of really cute friends, though. I used to be a little tense around her friends, but I've loosened up a lot. I did however fall asleep for a little while as Emily and Sheila blabbed.

We were talking about this nice little vest she was wearing, that she had purchased at some used store. Her mother doesn't like it, but I thought it looked really good on her when I first saw her this morning. I wanted to see where it was made, so I gently flipped up her hair in the back. It's getting really long nd pretty, and I complimented her on it, like I always do. It's amazing how much it has grown. I bought a newspaper as we headed over to the library. I had an extra quarter, and she kept joking that I have to pay her a quarter since she is my friend. I finally gave in, and slid the quarter down inside the back of her shirt. She wondered for a second what I was doing as I was lifting her hair again. She laughed and told me that this isn't Mardi Gras any more. I then pulled my emergency string of beads out of my bookbag and slid then down her back as well. The quarter slid down into her pants, and we were really laughing as she pulled the beads out and was sticking her hand in her butt. Everybody at Sheila's table were giving her dirty looks. She then went to the bathroom and took it out. I asked if I could have it back, because it's a collectible now!

We later went downstairs and bought some food. After returning to our table, and reading the newspaper, we talked pretty seriously for a little while. She then blurtedly asked me if I wanted to go to a movie tonight. I agreed. Valerie from last Tuesday then came up and talked to us for a few minutes. I then sent Emily off to church so that we would have free time tonight.

Well, the boys and I took another little road trip this weekend. We're starting to become famous for taking long trips, but staying for only a little while. It's still a lot of fun, though. We left for Daytona Beach at eight in the evening Saturday night! We took both Cecil's and Dave's cars. Chris, Hector, Ed and I finished up the group. It was only a two hour drive, which wasn't that bad. I rode with Cecil and Hector. They were drinking rum and Coke in the other car. Instead we talked about the girls we like, and about stuff like that. Cecil has seen Emily, and knows what's up. It was really cool. Dave stopped behind us at a light in this tiny little hick town. When Cecil pulled over to wait, you couldn't see this ditch because of the grass, and his tire fell in. It took all of us to eventually lift it out. It was pretty funny afterwards. I kept telling him to steer left if his right tire falls off to keep us on the road. He said that was real reassuring!

We went to this huge dance club called the Coliseum. I personally thought we should have hit the stretch where al of the partying Spring Breakers would have been, but I forgot I was hanging out with worthless losers who actually thought that they were going to pick up women. It was an awesome dance club though, eight dollars to get in! It had a second floor overlooking the dance floor, and lots of different levels on the first floor. The actual dance floor was a hollow wood box to make the bass that much more awesome. I dance almost the entire time, almost three hours!!!, without ever taking a break! The most memorable scene was this one gorgeous girl. She was short, but HOT!!! She was wearing a tight halter top and was perfect in every way. I had my hands on her skin on her sides, and on her waist. Because I was taller, she was able to dance straddled over my leg, which was bent, and rub herself all over it! I had fun!!! I also did a lot of flirting. There were a couple of girls that liked me, because I watched them point me out to their friends, and keep staring. It was pretty cool.

We lost an entire hour of dancing do to the time change. We all relaxed in the big comfy chairs in the lobby and looked at all of the girls as they left for the evening. We then went to Subway at three for dinner. I stayed awake the entire time just to make sure Cecil did the same. It was funny because the road we took was the same way father and I drove to Gainesville from Granny's after my Spring Break. What an evening!

April 2, 1993 - Friday - Pool date with Emily!

April Fool's has come and passed, you're the biggest fool at last! I just got a call from Emily a few minutes ago and she wants me to accompany her and some guy to her pool bar in Archer. She wants to try her luck. Not that this has anything to do with the first sentence, but I said that I'd come along.

It's all quite interesting. She finally told Chris essentially that she's not going to go out with him, but still wants to be his friend (i.e. still wants him to do her Calculus homework!). I called her house last night, which is surprising because it's something I rarely ever do. I had a question about which class we were going to take together in the fall, but she wasn't home. Well Emily just showed up...



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Well, now back to earlier today. Emily called some time around three, ten minutes before I got home. It was essentially too late now because I already registered. I still wanted to talk to her though. Jon gave me the message that I am supposed to call her back, and i did. She was cleaning her pool, but talked to me for quite a while anyway. I told her that I just saw Pablo again. I was coming home from Calculus, just thinking how I'm starting to build up a lot of acquaintances all over campus. I looked by a tree and saw Christina from German. I stopped and we talked about the test. She was just waiting for a ride out to her car on the far side of campus. She later said that she could see her ride coming, and I looked up realizing that it was Pablo! When he showed up I asked him what was up and we shook hands and talked for a second. Christina thought it was really cool that we knew each other. The entire ordeal was pretty funny. It's weird how the people you know will know each other. Emily said that he's been talking about this blonde for a couple of months now since he met her.

She asked me what I was doing tonight, and I said nothing, because we all have something big planned for tomorrow night. We talked a little bit longer before I let her et back to her work, and me to my sleep. I actually had a couple of things planned for tonight. They were showing Aladdin and another movie on their big outdoor movie screen tonight. I wished I would have thought of that on the phone, because I would have invited her. There also was a free reggae and dance party and the Orange and Brew German club. If I would have stuck around, I probably would have gone with Cecil and Dave, and about three girls. I would have caused Chris and maybe Jon to go too instead of sitting at home studying like they did.

Instead, I got another phone call from Emily! She woke me up at about 7:30. That is when she said that she was going with a friend named Carl to her little pool bar in Archer, and then talked me into going. It was cool because, pathetically, this is the first time that I've had a girl calling me on a weekend asking me to go out with her who wasn't directly related to one of my roommates, like Valerie. It's even better because I really had nothing to do with it, never saying that I wasn't need of anything to do tonight. I was so happy. She said that it is a hick bar, and I excitedly asked if I could wear my flannel, and she said yes, because she is. She was even going to pick out one for me, but I went ahead because I wanted to be ready when they got here. I didn't know how Carl would be, possibly protective, not wanting to waste his time in some other guys room. I wore a pair of Jonny's jeans with the cool discolorations where your wallet and keys are in your pockets, just like a hick's. I also wore my leather hiking boots.

Anyway, I had a pretty awesome time! Carl, was a bit of a nerd but he was pretty cool and has my sense of humor, although toned down a bit. He's the one that gives her little neck and back messages. I'm going to look for an opportunity as soon as possible to give her one of my massages. Abby is always the first person to pop into my mind, but I just remembered that I gave a couple of good ones to Valerie. No wonder Ed was jealous. Anyway, we drove out to Archer in Carl's old little Celica. I had to scrunch into the back seat. The little hole in the wall town only has two traffic lights and is quite a ways out past the interstate. It reminded me of the trip to Newberry when we went spelunking. Emily gave one revelation, when she's with other people and it's dark, she always has to pee!!! I don't know, maybe that will come in handy someday.

The bar was actually much nicer than I had expected. They had an entire eating area, with glazed cypress tables. They had a big screen TV with a hockey game on, and a jukebox full of country music. The pool room had two fifty cent tables, and wonderfully wasn't filled with very much smoke. With the music, it was a pretty cool atmosphere. The hicks were pretty nasty, though. We didn't quite fit in because the two of them dressed too preppy and my clothes were clean. Emily had on black jeans, instantly ruining the hick look, and an undershirt, a big no-no. She actually looked really pretty this evening. She did her makeup just right so that her eyes seemed to sparkle. I was impressed. Emily and I were joking around that I wasn't allowed to flirt with the locals, especially the big fat hairy drunk ones.

Emily put down dibs on one table where two fat girls were playing pretty awfully. I really liked the place because almost everybody there, even the guy patrons are only as good as Emily, except for this one guy. It makes for a more relaxed atmosphere when there aren't a couple of people kicking everybody's ass. Emily won her first game, and then played Carl. I didn't have any quarters because I didn't know that I'd need them. Carl spotted me two without me even asking. It was pretty cool. I then played the best game that I've ever played against Emily! And what an awesome place to do so! I made one awesome run of at least three balls! I was playing damn good with everybody watching! She beat me with just one ball left on the table! I was really happy. She complimented me on a lot of my shots as well.

I had one beer, a Budweiser, and shared some with Emily. It tasted pretty damn good. It was the first Bud I've ever had. Busch can make beer! Emily would start getting a little tense, and we'd do our best to cheer her up. She remained happy all evening, which was really cool. Carl and I kept up on the hockey game throughout the night, and talked about basketball. I told him to realize how lucky we are, because we're leaving tonight with the best looking girl in the place!

March 31, 1993 - Wednesday - Do I still love Jen?!?

March 31, 1993 - Wednesday, Mittwoch
Emily and I just parted for the evening. She'll get frustrated and stressed as our chemistry problems get harder, and will all of the sudden leave in a hurry. Sometimes it's annoying because I won't know if I've done something to offend her, but I think she just gets frustrated with herself. She almost wanted to change her major th other evening, because it only gets harder, and it took me a little while to hopefully convince her not to.

Anyway, I went to German today and sat between Jennifer and Fran‡oise. Jennifer has been unbelievably friendly lately. We were joking around all through class. Elaine asked me a question once but then quickly asked somebody else when she saw that I was laughing away with Jennifer. She was also doodling on my arm. I made some kind of mistake and Jennifer told me not to worry, because she still loves me. She asked me a little earlier if I still loved her, but I don't remember exactly why. It was funny, and weird. She got really hyper towards the end of class. We talked some on the walk after class, too.

After calculus, which has seemed so easy lately even though this is the hardest material, I went to chemistry lab. It started raining just after I got there, and Emily arrived quite late. She came in soaking wet because she went biking through the rain to move her car. She looked pretty cute soaked down like that. She was wearing a white T-shirt and it showed through. She wears these cute little lacy bras with very thin straps in the back. You know, why overdo it when you don't need much support anyway! That's mean!

We talked and played around a lot as usual. We talked a little about the concert. She did mention that Cindy and I really seemed to hit it off there. Glad she noticed. That was kind of the point...

March 30, 1993 - Tuesday - Emily, late talk, Eagles

It's a beautiful, hot, sunny day outside right now. The trees are finally green again, and there are stunning girls laying out everywhere. My social problems class just got cancelled, and I was thinking that I might take the time to enjoy it. Instead, I wholeheartedly decided that my latest feelings about Emily must be told before the memories of them fade away. I've had a very busy schedule lately, but fun nonetheless.

My first inclination Sunday night was to go to a classroom and study, without any interruptions from the rest of the world, but the prospect that either Kimmeth or Emily might call kept me home. I worked on chemistry for a while, and Emily did indeed call. She came over about half an hour later, and we studied for quite some time.

I had baked a chocolate cake with milk chocolate frosting topped with M&Ms on Saturday. I wouldn't let Karen or Kelly cut it for fear that they would eat it all! It had yet to be cut when Emily was over. I told her that I baked her a cake, and she was really surprised to see that it really wasn't cut yet. It was really funny. She joked that she gains more calories in my room than anywhere else. She has fun doing so, though. I was thrilled to learn that my cake came out deliciously!!! She exclaimed that it was so moist, and tasted so good! It was, in fact, some of the best cake I've tasted in a long time. She kept saying all of the things that are usually wrong with a cake, and how mine wasn't like that. Chris also said that it was delicious, and moist, too. I was really happy!

Anyway, I found out more about her personal feelings and thoughts that night than ever before. We started talking about the problems between men and woman, and how they pertain to us. I personally believe that the biggest problem is that we don't communicate well enough. If everybody could truthfully tell each other how they feel about each other, then the world would be an entirely different place.

I found out that Chris, Emily's little freak nerd friend, has expressed an extreme liking for her. He has practically given her an ultimatum to go out with him. She thinks he's a freak. She says that he can be really sweet, but he's the ultimate social outcast. She says that she never has a good time with him in public, and he is very undecisive. She ended up saying that she really hates him, but doesn't want to completely blow his feelings out of the water. He's causing her a lot of stress, and I've been trying to comfort her through it. She also knows my opinion of him.

Anyway, Ed then comes in, and I brought him into the conversation. We had our first late night roommate talk in a long time. I recalled the times that all four of us would stay up until three in the morning, sometimes with Valerie, just talking about life. It's been a while. We had a really good discussion just about the way things are between men and women, about love, and sex. I found out that Emily has no attraction to Nick whatsoever, but he's a good friend and is there when she needs him. I was very relieved to her so, because he worried me. She also restated her hatred for Chris. Ed started some kind of bullshit saying that it really sounds like she likes him, and she and I just looked at each other and almost laughed. He kept telling her that she should try and overlook his faults because people can't be changed. I started getting really pissed at him because he was trying to undo all that I have worked for towards her entirely ditching Chris. I think he finally got the fucking idea because he tried to redeem himself by telling her to get rid of him, because she obviously doesn't like him.

He then kept rambling on and on and we really wanted him to shutup. She had some really good points during the conversation though. It seems like she doesn't really want to date anybody right now. We were talking about meeting people quickly that want a relationship very quickly. She then said that it's a lot better in classroom situations, and then she referred to me, where you get to slowly know the person. She was also talking about how some guys that she really doesn't want to be with will always ask to see her during a meal. She views that as a more private time and doesn't like it when they try to force themselves on her just because she has to eat, too. She also again expressed her dislike of guys that are completely devoted to a girl, because it removes all of the mystery.

Emily used to have a `problem' of constantly talking about lots of other guys to her guy friends. Even when there is no romantic interest, a guy doesn't really like that. She has toned it down a lot, and has admitted doing so. Ed started cutting her down for doing it. She retaliated by telling him that she shouldn't have to hide interesting parts of her life just because she did it with another guy. She then said told him that it's perfectly all right to tell Chris that she had a really fun time with Dan on Sunday night, picking an arbitrary day. I still felt special, though.

We finally got back to doing some more chemistry, and she then went home a little bit after two.

Chris and I went and finally bought groceries yesterday afternoon. I had coupons, so I bought the ingredients for two more cakes. I also bought more Oreos and Cool Whip, for Emily and I. Chris had to carry a couple of letters to the mailbox in the commons when we got back, and I went with him. I always look into the study lounge to see the cute girls! Right at the table by the door, sat Emily! I was surprised and wondered why she was there. I figured that she called, and then studied there until I got back. I figured that I'd leave her alone until we had carried up the groceries and unpacked them. To my surprise, there was no message! Ed then decided to leave to study. I walked down with him to see Emily, and to make sure that he didn't sit with her. It turned out that she saw Jon leaving, and he told her that I was shopping, hence no message was left.

She asked if I wanted to play pool and I said definitely. I rented the only remaining unbroken Q-stick so that nobody would get it while we were upstairs, and then left it in the lounge with Ed. We went up and she helped me to finish unpacking my groceries. She said it was fun looking at all of the stuff I bought. She asked for a piece of cake, and we split a drink. She beat me three times, but I only have about three or four balls left nowadays. On one shot, I called a pretty hard combo. Not only did I make the combo, but I sunk two more of my balls as well!!! That was awesome, and she saw the entire thing!

We then played table tennis. She beat me when we played real games, but not by too much, considering that the only time I had ever played was once at the beginning of the fall semester. She then played the piano while I practiced. She is literally awesome. She took lessons for thirteen years until her Junior year in high school. It was really beautiful listening to her play, and she seemed to like the attention. She played a couple of love songs from the radio. We then would play short games of table tennis in between. It was fun.

We later went back upstairs and talked for a while. She organized a group of people to have spaghetti at her house tonight, and then go see the Eagles concert. An opening came up and she told Chris about it. She really regretted doing so. I didn't want to rush and say that I'd like to go instead. I didn't have to, because she soon asked me if I wanted to go. She said that she'd call him and try her hardest to get him not to go. She handled herself very well, and ditched him very efficiently, for tonight at least. It's really cool because I'll be with her now. There are lot of guys going, but still. Maybe I'll make some beneficial new acquaintances. She was asking me how exactly to make spaghetti, and I volunteered my services. We're meeting in a little while to get the groceries and head to her house to make dinner. It will be fun spending the day with her again.

I'm meeting her outside of GPA right after sixth period. Her biology lab and my class both end then. I have to walk all of the way there again since mine was cancelled. It really sucked. I did meet this one girl who I had been looking at in class, and we talked for quite a while. We've already promised to talk again on Thursday, so I'll see. What a week? The endless summer is back!!!



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It's just past 11:30 in the night right now, and I just got home from Emily's. Here's how my day went:

I walked again to the front of GPA with my bags when sixth period should have ended. I sat around the rock, looking at the gorgeous girls that practically live in that area between classes. A little freak preacher guy walking around talking to people sitting by themselves. I was ready to tell him to fuck off, but I instead laid down and `slept' for a little while. He didn't bother me either. Emily soon rode up. Her lab was let out early, and she had been off playing pool. Scum. We then went to her car parked way across University Avenue. Her mother was going to pick up the sauce and dessert for our spaghetti dinner, but we had to go to Albertson's to get the rest.

We had a fun little time shopping. I used my superb produce selection skills to help her find quality vegetables for our salad. She just wanted little shitty iceberg lettuce, but I insisted on a real head of leafy lettuce, which made a very nice salad. We then walked around getting all of the other stuff, playing around a lot in the process. I figured that I'd better have fun with her now, before all of her men came over. I vowed to actually befriend them and have a good time. I remembered a couple of essential things that she almost forgot, such as the garlic bread, which she was very glad I remembered. We then went to her house and listened to music and messed around for a little while.

When her mother came home, we met, and talked for a few minutes. She seemed a lot less `confident' than I suspected Emily's mother to be. Her dad was the same way though. I found out from Emily a little earlier that they own three additional houses that they rent out. Real estate, I'm impressed. She then went into her office and tended to her business, leaving us alone, which was cool. We browned the five pounds of hamburger, and added almost four jars of Ragu sauce. We also added pureed canned tomatoes, and lots of spices. We were just going through her cabinet, oregano, garlic, cinnamon, and more. I thought the cinnamon would add a bit of sweetness, and it worked very well. Our sauce turned out to be awesome considering that it's made from Ragu. We were really proud of ourselves. We then cut up all of our salad stuff and made an awesome looking salad. We also heated the bread in the oven, and I sliced it. We set up the tables on the patio in two groups. We talked and relaxed all the while, having a pretty cool time. I also met Tommy, her brother.

At six, we changed into our better clothes. Jonathan and Rick, whom I have met in the Plaza of the America's came in first. This surfer guy named Pablo showed up, too. I went on the patio and talked to Rick and Jonathan. Rick turns out to be a graduated aerospace engineer from Purdue, but he is taking mechanical engineering at UF because he can't get a job!!! He says there are people much better than him that couldn't find jobs either! It sucks for Jon. I told him that my original declared major was aerospace, and Rick told me to definitely find another route. Jonathan is a mechanical engineer. Pablo and Emily came in and sat down, Emily next to me. We had a generic little conversation. It turns out that out of all eleven people, no more than two knew each other before this, which was pretty cool. That way nobody felt alienated by everyone else already knowing each other. We were all in the same situation.

Valerie, a hot blonde, showed up. She instantly looked at me and exclaimed that she recognizes me from somewhere. that was cool. I asked her where she went to high school. She said Rio. I guess I obviously don't know her from before college. Her father as in the military, and she has lived all over the world. Her parents live in China right now, which is where she will be over the summer. She has no idea of what she wants to become, and I tried to help her a little, but she ended up deciding that she will just marry a millionaire. Emily kept offering and getting a cupful of lemonade for each of her guests. I laughed and said that I would like a cup, too. I was nice and got it myself, though. As soon as I was back on the porch, I sat down and drank some of my drink. Emily came back in and sat next to me again. She picked up my glass and took a big swig, and thanked me. It was funny, and Valerie laughed.

We served the spaghetti pretty soon, and I sort of nicely forced my way into the seat I wanted. You could tell that Pablo wanted to sit with the cute girls and didn't want to really associate with the rest of Emily's friends. Instead, I got to sit with Emily and Valerie, across from harmless old Rick. Dinner was really good and everybody seemed to like it well enough. This girl named Cindy also came. Emily said that I wouldn't like her because she is fat, but she was barely overweight and was actually somewhat cute. She's a middle class country girl, and she's already 28! She works in the pediatrics division at Shands Hospital, which is how she knows Emily. Cindy sat with Emily's family and this gay guy named Farell. He would have been much better off if Emily hadn't of told me. We served turtle cheesecake for dessert. It was really rich.

We then headed out to the Eagles concert. Emily and I went in the back seat of Nicks car. We almost left without her because she ran back in her house without telling anybody, fortunately I saw her. Dipshit Pablo jumped in front of me and took the fifth seat by Emily in the top half of the ten seats. Shithead. I got to sit next to Cindy. Farell then showed up, and I knew that he would want to sit next to Cindy. that would put me on the end with him being the only one to talk to. there's no way in hell I'd let that happen, so I made him sit on the end. Good move. Cindy and I had a grand old time during that concert! We laughed and talked constantly. It was really cool. Farell was all alone with nobody to talk to or dance with. When we'd do a line dance, there was no way in hell that I'd put my arm around him, but definitely around Cindy! Morally, one should realize that just because you're a guy, doesn't mean a fag is going to be attracted to you. Fuck that!!!

While we were sitting, Valerie, who was behind me, ended up with her legs split around my back. It made for a comfortable backrest, and a beautiful one. When we were standing, screaming, and dancing, my arm would continuously brush against Cindy's tits right across her nipples. If she wasn't aroused by that... It was really interesting. I looked for a wedding or engagement ring and found none. She later stood up onto the seat in front of us. It made her about as all as me. I helped to keep her up, essentially letting me put my hands all over her. Fun fun. Emily would talk to everyone periodically, which was cool.

The concert itself was awesome. I recognized all but two of the songs, and knew most of the words! They sound much better in person than on the radio, and they sound damn good there! The bass was awesome, too. This was actually the first real concert that I have ever been to in my life!!! and it was a fun one. Thanks Emily!

After the concert, and after it was time for all to go, Pablo gave me a ride home in his noise piece of shit Volkswagon.

March 28, 1993 - Sunday - Fuck up at TJ's, Emily

March 28, 1993 - Sunday, Sonntag
Well, I just screwed up something fierce! There was this really beautiful ethnic girl dancing at TJ's with her friend. They looked very european, and she had green eyes and freckles. Beautiful. I had just come back from getting a drink with Ed and was starting to dance again. They were behind me and Jon stated looking at me telling me to dance with her. He kept pointing at his eye. I just figured he wanted me to dance with her because she wasn't yet taken. I just fucked around, not doing much. She even came around, and danced right in front of me. I got scared and waited too long. Ed put his hands on her waist and dance for about twenty seconds, until she looked at him, and spun away. This big goofy looking jock then made a serious pass at her and she fled. I was fucking pissed!!! Jon later told me that she was giving me the eye while I was in front of her, and really looked interested. He said that he even tried to push us together while we were dancing. I really missed what good of been an amazing opportunity. I have been `depressed' ever since we got home.

I remember waiting for her to look me in the eye when she was in front of me, but she didn't really. If she had, I might have pounced. Fuck! I know how I am when I show interest in a girl, I don't really smile much and try to be casual. It seems like she did the same. Fuck!!! Fuck!!! Fuck!!! That really sucks!!! I also saw Derek there.

Besides my little failure, life seems to be pretty amazing and wonderful again! The weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders the instant that I turned in my sociology term paper. It felt so good. The entire ordeal seemed to fall into place rather well. Emily had a lot to do with my paper coming out professionally, though. She's been a really amazing influence on me lately, and I am very grateful. I find it amazing that I am this attracted to a girl that I can't have sex with.

March 24, 1993 - Wednesday - Emily, Date, Dan Quayle

March 24, 1993 - Wednesday, Mittwoch
Well I'm skipping classes right now to do work. Oh what hell! I will be so exasperatedly happy when I turn this paper in and am finally free. Emily and I are going to go to Chili's to celebrate one of these days. I saw her yesterday morning in Chemistry, and we screwed around a lot. I didn't want that to be the end of our day, so I asked her if she were going to see Dan Quayle tonight. She said that she didn't know, but will call me. I missed a social at Joe's Deli for my new national honor society, èHä, waiting for her to call. I guess she misunderstood when I said to call BEFORE six. It didn't matter though, because I was buy with my term paper. She showed up instead at seven. We messed around for a few minutes and I got ready to go. She had left her car parked on the sidewalk downstairs. You could see two cops blocking her in with their lights flashing, but they had just pulled over a car. Besides Emily had her hazards on. I looked in the car, and it was Jana and Gina!!! I laughed and went on my Merry way with Emily. There were no parking spaces so we drove to this family's house that she knows from Church. We then walked back to the O'Connell Center. It filled up quite a bit, and there was security everywhere. I really respect Dan Quayle a lot, and find the press very stupid for making fun of him the way he did. It was just a bunch of shit because they didn't like him. Poor babies... I really enjoyed his speech. When he arrived we gave him a standing ovation, and he joked that he had prepared a non-partisan speech, but guessed that he could just throw that away. He was pretty funny. I was extremely impressed. He spoke in my direction for a long time, and I'd swear that he looked at me. I was an obvious standout, right on the edge, with my really pretty dolphin shirt on.

We left before he started his proposed town meeting. There was a UF baseball game going on and we walked over to take a look. I could barely see the scoreboard, but it looked like eleven to zero! I was depressed because I didn't think our team was that bad! I then hoped that I just couldn't see right because I wasn't wearing glasses. We asked a group of security guards about the score, and he said that we were winning!!! I asked her if she wanted to go, and she said yes, because she's never been to a game before. There were so few people, that the security guard actually let us sit in the comfortable reserved section up front. We had a pretty cool time. We won 14-4. It was the most ridiculous baseball game I had ever seen!

We then walked back to get her car. We never did tell the family that we were parking there, and they didn't recognize her new car, thus they called the police!!! It was funny. It was funny to them afterwards, but she was really embarrassed that they would tell her parents. We drove around for a few minutes until we decided to eat at Steak and Shake. We had a really good meal, and each had a pretty big shake that was really good. We then went to Players, her little pool hall. I enjoyed myself and felt pretty confidant because she pretty much talked only with me even though she knew a lot of the people there. There was a really hot girl there, almost as tall as Emily, who would show off her awesome body by bending way over when she would shoot. I remarked about respecting her form, which got to Emily a little bit.

March 21, 1993 - Monday - Emily, The Crying Game

March 21, 1993 - Monday, Montag
I just got finished working on about ten pages of my term paper that's due on Thursday. The entire week in general really sucks. I've waited far too long to call Kimmeth, but will wait until Thursday evening after this so called hell week is gone. It will feel so good to relax, if even for a day.

Well, I've found an ever greater friend in Emily over the past few days. I called her Friday afternoon, just to say hello. She still wanted me to come along with her, but I held my ground, playing hard to get. She said again that Chris would be the only one that she would really know, and thus really wanted me to come be with her. She said that the group was supposed to be having dinner when I called, but obviously they weren't. We talked a little bit longer and I reconfirmed our date for Sunday.

Karen showed up for the weekend on Friday afternoon. She didn't bring her friend Kelly with her though. I was sad. I did get to talk on the phone with her again for a long time that evening. She needed some real convincing on whether to come up or not. She had a test on Tuesday, and just got back from Atlanta. She called and told me early Saturday that she couldn't make it but possibly will later. I told her that I was sad. Karen did tell Chris and I that Kelly is `bigger' than she is! Darn. We were openly guessing the size of her breasts. It was funny, and she seemed to enjoy having us look at her tits.

Chris found out on Thursday that his summer trip to Greece had been approved, so he took me out and bought me pizza. We ran into Cecil and Dave, and then went to Cecil's trailer to eat. Friday night, we rented Faces of Death and My Cousin Vinny, and ate a whole shitload of snacks from the GPA vending machines. Cecil and Dave came over with beer, and then ran off to a dance at the Orange & Brew. Jon took Karen to see The Crying Game that night. She really didn't like it, but Jon did.

Jon and Chris both took part in the VISA international talent show. Karen, Ed and I went and really enjoyed the show. I flirted as hard as possible with the few good looking girls there. There were a couple of extremely gorgeous exotic ones, and I was really impressed.

Emily called before one on Sunday. Said she was going to Church and then coming over, but came straight over instead. I had to hurry and get dressed while she sat in the living room watching TV. We ate the last of the Oreos and cool whip, and then went to Burger King to study. I just wanted to walk to GPA, but she wanted to drive. She almost forgot gas again, so we stopped on the way. We studied forever at Burger King, eating every once in a while. We then came back to the room at 6:30. She took a little nap on Chris' bed while I listened to music. Chris found her again and got pissed off. I teased him that he lets Cecil and Ed do it. He says that he doesn't like that either, and asked when did Ed sleep on his bed? We then went and saw The Crying Game. It really freaked me out again. I still think its a really good movie despite the perversion. We had a pretty good time.

March 18, 1993 - Thursday - Emily Elise Weber, EEW!

I woke up pretty early this morning to stand in line to sign up for a room next year. There wasn't ever a line, so Jon and I ended up going down at about 9:15, just a few minutes before third period. We picked room 904. It's a bit higher, which we feel is better, it's on a corner, and it should have a beautiful view of the girls in the field because it's on the other side of the building! There also is no RA on that floor. We were just glad that we are finally assured of a room in Beaty next year.

I then walked to chemistry, just a little late. I saw Emily locking up her bike, and I walked over to meet her. We joked around a little bit, and then we read the newspaper. Since it's taboo for us to converse about the weather, I opened to the weather page, and started acting all interesting. We both cracked up. We talk more about the weather nowadays than we ever would have if she hadn't of said that it's a sign of two people not having anything to talk about. After class, I walked her to Biology. which was her last class for the day. I hoped that she'd come by afterwards. She mentioned studying chemistry, and then said that she'll call me later, and I told her to just come over.

A little while later, just before sixth period, she hadn't showed up. I went walking with Chris and Ed to their classes because Chris wanted to treat me to lunch. I told Jon to tell Emily that I'd be right back if she showed up. He laughed and said that it's very unlike me to leave when I'm expecting a girl over. Yeah it is! I was back in fifteen minutes with my salad, cheeseburger, and Cokes. Jon told me that Emily called. I just sighed. She wouldn't have called if I had stayed. He said that she said that she'd call back. She did about fifteen minutes later. She wanted to know if I had ever picked up my notebook, and I said no. She said that she was just walking around in the bookstore waiting for me to get home, and would get my notebook and then come over. I was happy.

When she showed up, we watched some TV and ate Oreos covered with Cool Whip. It was really good. She had a big glass of milk. We joked around a lot. We then came into my room, and used my computer for a few minutes. She was really tired, and I told her to sit down on Chris' bed. I was looking at some of the songs she had recorded on her tapes last night, and a lot were off of old tapes that I have.I leant her George Michael, my older Garth Brooks CD, and a couple of other tapes. We listened to a lot of slow relaxing songs on the Cd player. She laid down on the bed, and I sat in the chair right next to her. We kept joking around. She started going to sleep. We talked softly for a long time before I let her rest for a little while. Chris came home and woke her up a little while later.

She kept mentioning roller skating, and how she invited Chris, but really wanted me to coma along as well. I didn't even want to pretend that I can still skate, so I declined. But we do have a date to see The Crying Game. We also had a nice little rag session on her friend Chris. I told her how much of a loser he is and all, and how much I dislike him. She also looked at my photo album while we listened to Garth Brooks. It was really interesting, and a lot of fun being there alone with her.

One other thing. I'm pretty pissed off about the GLSU (Gay and Lesbian Student Organization). I think it's very sexist. Gay stands for both male and female homosexuals. It used to only be called the GSU but those dirty nasty dike feminists had to add there name in as well. I think it should be changed to the FLSU. Faggots! Get it?

March 17, 1993 - Wednesday - Emily!, No gas!, Sugar!

Well, Emily and I have had our first real experience together. It was quite an adventure, to say the least.

She started out by pissing me off a little last night. She told me where she'd be studying, but then ended up studying with a nerdy little freak named Chris. I guess he was there solely to help her out, and the Calculus I needed to study was a bit further ahead than hers, so she was doing us both some good. I guess. I talked to her for a few minutes there. I mentioned some things called T's and B's, which are certain types of unit vectors in Calculus. He sort of snickered and said that he'd teach Emily about the birds and the bees! It took a few seconds for my mind to believe that he even said that! In the mental state I was in; stressed, tired, and dazed, he's very lucky that I didn't kick his ass right then!!! I couldn't help to think about how little he knows Emily.

Anyway, I went and studied in my little hole in the corner of the same floor by the stairs. I prolonged my studying until they left. She stopped by, whistling as she walked up. I kept a very casual attitude, not saying much except goodbye. I went home and had a long talk with Chris about her rejecting me, and about how much fun it would be to beat the shit out of something right now. It's been such a stressful time lately, despite Spring Break. We also were talking a little more seriously. We also joke about Ed being very young in his sexual experience. We then were reminiscing about the old days in our youth when just a brush against a girl's arm sent a chill down your spine, leaving you happy all day. About the days when you would make out in a movie theater, which was the `ultimate' place of passion. That kind of stuff. We were thinking that maybe we should just slow down and retry some of these old simple, yet wonderful things. I have always enjoyed this, but it was really fun convincing a person like Chris to agree with me.

Anyway, I chatted quite a bit with Fran‡oise again today in German. It was funny how I was debating over whether to walk home with Fran‡oise, or Jennifer today. It turns out that the three of us walked after class together, which had never happened before. It had been raining all day, and continued throughout the evening. I had to walk through a lake to get to Calculus. I met up with a guy from Calculus and we talked about being ready for the exam.. I didn't finish the exam until three, right when lab started. I walked slowly through the rain, arriving late, but not really caring.

When I got there, Staci walked up and said, `Hi Dan!' with a really big smile. That cheered me up. I walked straight to my station, waiting the very few seconds that it took for Emily to say hello. We then started messing around. She was wearing a green shirt, St Patrick's Day, and soccer shorts. She had called me earlier today to ask a favor, but ended up having to go home anyway, where she changed into her wet weather clothes. She was also wearing these really awesome sport sandals that I was looking at in a sporting goods store once. They are really nice and I would love to get a pair. We built molecular models today in class, and then had to fill in information about them. It was easy enough that I had plenty of time to walk around and flirt. Staci kept pressing herself, especially her breasts against me. I guess that it's so noticeable because she is shorter and very perky, thus hitting me right on my arms and sides, right where I'd notice it the most.

There is a gorgeous Spanish girl in the lab section across form us. She is almost directly across from Staci. She reminds me of a shorter, yet much prettier Marcella, and sometimes I have to look twice to make sure it's not really her. I looked up once while sitting with Emily, and noticed her looking at me. We proceeded to flirt every once in a while throughout the rest of the class. Damn she was hot!

Emily did something wrong on one of the problems, and this guy named Matt called her stupid. He thought it was funny, but she frowned saying that she didn't like him anymore. I quickly seized the opportunity to be there for her. We put our arms around each other and I walked her back to her station. It was really sweet. We enjoyed ourselves a few more times throughout lab, although it did start getting rather tedious towards the end. We were pretty glad to get out of there. It was still raining when we left lab, so we had to pull out our rain gear. I had feared for a large part of the day that she would be doing something with freak, I mean Chris, after lab because the little shithead use to wait outside for her. I was ready to walk out of lab on her if she did say that she was doing something with him. A small bit of hope lurked in the back of my mind that she is only mainly using him to learn Calculus. Even though it's evil, I hope she did bad on it. Little did I know that we would be spending the evening together.

She realized that she had to go to the bank before going to her car so that she could pay the parking fee. I asked if she'd like to borrow five dollars, and she said yes, obviously glad that I had offered. I asked her if she was going to drive me home, and she said of course. We then went splashing through the puddles on the way to her car. It was better for her because of her sandals. We decided that we wanted to play some pool at my dorm, but then somehow decided to go to her house first. I think she wanted to pick up a dry and warm change of clothes.

She lives pretty far off of campus, but her house is really nice. I didn't realize that Gainesville had such a large area of nice houses. I guess I have only seen the poor side, and the country side. I was very impressed. Her brother was there, asleep. We didn't turn on any lights, walking around in the dark. It was very pretty on the inside though, with lots of large windows. They have a pool in the yard, and a cool sunroof in the living room that sounds awesome in the rain. She says that it's a pain in the ass when you're trying to watch TV, though. We played with her dog for a while. It's a big gray poodle. We were sitting on the kitchen floor, and she was hugging and kissing it. She said that she'll kiss that dog much more than she'll ever kiss any guy. I asked her if she ever eats after her dog, remembering Valerie eating after her cat. I view dogs as a bit cleaner than cats, but I still find it very disgusting. She said that she does. She tried to gross me out by telling me that her brother will collect a bunch of saliva in his mouth, and the dog will drink it out!!! It worked! I feel sick thinking about that right now! She said that the dog doesn't like her saliva, though! That's a gross relief!

We ate some tortilla chips in the car, and were going to stop at a bank to get money to go to dinner. All of the sudden, her gas hit empty and we were coasting along a pretty major highway. I told her to quickly pull into a Hardee's driveway to get out of the road before we lost momentum. She got a little giddy so I guided her through everything, like keeping her foot on the brake until she put the parking brake on to keep us out of the busy street. We tried recranking it a couple of times because there was a Mobile gas station down on the corner. She said that she has done this before, so I let her walk to the gas station, through the rain, to buy some gas. I met her on the road, giving her my umbrella, while I took the can. I took a lot of precautions not to get any water into the gas tank and stuff like that. It still wouldn't crank. She said that she had heard about pouring gas onto the carburetor to make it start. I told her that it would probably blow up on us, and we nixed that idea.

She had a really weird gas door that opened upwards. You couldn't poor very much of the gas from the can into the tank because of the weird angle. After a while, we backed it into the street, to see if it would crank on level ground. We then pushed it up the road a block onto a flat driveway. We sat in the car for a while talking and joking around. We thought it was funny that, despite the situation, we were still having fun. I admitted that we do seem to have a lot of fun together in normally depressing situations, including chemistry lab.

We decided to get something to eat at this restaurant that we were parked at. I had $2.50 and she had $2.00. We walked up towards the restaurant, and for some reason put our arms around each other for a second, saying that it would be all right. We kept them there while we walked for a surprisingly long time. It was longer than I would have expected us to do it. When we saw the restaurant, I was immediately disgusted. We were standing there joking about everything wrong with the place. When they asked if they could help us, we started laughing. I quickly suggested that she ask for a phone, and she called AAA.

We then decided to walk back to Hardee's instead. They had these value meals for about four dollars. There was a black guy taking orders, and two younger cute girls just cleaning things up. It was funny when Emily asked them if they could cut the sandwich in half, and then had to pool our money together to pay for it. We were cracking up at the absurdity of the whole evening, and the girls were looking at us pretty funny. Emily went to the bathroom. As I sat the tray down, I noticed the tow truck go by, and we then ran to the car. He sprayed lubricant into the carburetor, sort of like the stuff I keep in my car. It cranked right up. We laughed and then drove to the gas station to return their can. She, wanting to prove me wrong, asked the old man behind the counter if you could indeed poor gasoline onto the carburetor. He said yes, and she was all happy, giving me a slight punch in the arm. The younger mechanic who had overheard the conversation then cut in saying, `Yeah, but it might blow up in your face!' We started laughing and I rubbed in the fact that I was right, too. It was pretty funny.

We then drove back to Hardee's and ate our meal. We talked and joked around for a while. We stopped by the bank afterwards, and then headed over to Chili's for a big dessert. When we got there, it was unexpectedly crowded, and we were way underdressed. We checked out this little movie theater, but nothing good was showing. We proceeded to drive through the Wal Mart parking lot. I joked about running in, only because father and I had gone in the other day. She actually agreed. We were going to go in to buy some sweets, and then go back to our room to eat, have beer, and then play pool. We went in and looked around for a little while. We were having lots of fun. She said that she felt young again, and was having a lot of fun. I seem to have to have a talent for bringing out youthfulness in women. It was pretty neat. We talked a few minutes about how sometimes simple pleasures are the best.

We decided to have milk and Oreos, and pudding. I figured that since we needed milk, I should make fresh pudding, so we went to the grocery store. We bought double stuff Oreos, a gallon of milk, a large tub of cool whip, and a container each of pistachio and chocolate pudding. She said that she felt like a little girl again coming to the store with her grandmother who would buy her sweets that she wouldn't normally get. She also says that her family usually drinks powdered milk, making fresh milk a treat. It was fun.

We came back to my room really hoping that nobody else was there. Unfortunately Chris was there, and I introduced them. We got there just in time for a little pizza party Mia was throwing in her room. We walked over and got a few pieces. There were a lot of cute girls there, but I went back to Emily. It was funny because I kept hinting for Chris to go study somewhere, but he wouldn't. We wanted to watch a movie, and chose My Girl. I had seen it, but said that I hadn't. We had milk and cookies first. I then made the pistachio pudding, serving a big bowl full to each of us, topped with cool whip. We then each had a Moosehead, thanks Melissa! Chris finally went and studied in his room, but would come out for long periods of time and watch the movie from one of the stools. It would have been a lot more fun alone!

My eyes started watering a tiny bit, as did hers. Her face then became red and she did let out a few tears. I kept smiling and she would blush even worse, telling me not to look. It was really cute. I admitted a little while later that it moved me, too. Ed came in as we were leaving to go downstairs and play pool. I made a couple of good successive shots, but played rather badly. Chris even wandered down a while later and played table tennis. This really annoying guy that likes Ed kept talking to us, but I wouldn't have much to do with him. After about five games, she decided that it was finally time to end our experience, and I walked her to her car. It was a rather interesting evening.

March 15, 1993 - Monday - Emily, Fran‡oice, Kim

March 15, 1993 - Monday, Montag
I talked about everything to do about Spring Break today with Jennifer and Fran‡oise before German class began today. Fran‡oise was almost as dark as me. We were also talking about the test that we took before the break. David was also there. Jennifer said that she could feel the flames all around her while she took that test, referring to how hard it was. I told her to stop making fun of David!, that he's not a flamer. It was funny, and he luckily didn't hear me. Jennifer is a real homophobic, good girl. Fran‡oise was later talking about how she stayed at the beaches during the daytime, and then went clubbing in Tampa at night. I was about ready to jokingly ask her if they went to Tracks, the gay bar that Kimmeth has been to. I thought it might be inappropriate, so I didn't say anything, and I also figured she wouldn't know what I was talking about and I didn't want to explain it. It turns out that she did go to Tracks!!! She claims that they went to straight night, but still! David, Pong, and I all caught on instantly and started ragging on her. It was pretty funny.

She mentioned that this Sunday is her birthday, again. I agreed, and said that it's on the twenty-first. She was saying that we should all sing and talk about her birthday all day next Monday like we did mine last semester. I walked with her and Pong after class. Jennifer had something else to do, and Christina didn't show up today. Steve looked like a fool because he moved across the room, and saved a seat for her. He ended up all by himself and I silently laughed.

I ended up doing a little worse on my test than I had hoped, because I only studied that morning due to my Chemistry test the night before. Actually, it was because I was playing pool with Emily afterwards. I got an 86%, which is still pretty good compared to some of my tests last semester and I still made an A. I'm doing very good in there this time around. I really thought that Noel and I fucked up on the orals. I was really scared when Derek only got an 86.5%, because I thought that he and Jennifer had done a pretty damn good job. I ended up with a 91.5%!!! I was pretty happy to get an A, my highest oral grade so far! It's funny how things work, and how a little personal conversation can seemingly help one's grade out a bit. I later found out that I only got an 82% on the Chemistry test, compared to Emily's 70%. I'm so very happy to have that one hundred to fall back on!

Emily came over at about 8:30. She always walks in with a bag of food from Burger King. She bought me a little hamburger, and I graciously thanked her. I had a Pepsi along with it, and gave her some lemonade. We had planned on studying Calculus, but we ended up watching TV and fooling around instead. Stacy called me right after she came over, but we got off of the phone pretty quick. He said that he'd call me back tomorrow. Emily kept saying that I really do look black! Ed had compared Chris and I earlier, and although Chris came back pretty dark, Ed said that I still edged him out!!! Emily kept playfully beating on me, and ended up finding out that I am ticklish. Instead of hitting her back, like I would my lovely sisters, I would wrestle with her leg until I could untie her shoes, or something silly like that.

Somebody on TV was talking about not having his own doctor. I looked at Emily and said that she does, referring to her daddy, and she smiled proudly and agreed. I then muttered that it's a shame he's not a plastic surgeon! It was mean and she really beat me for that one, but I told her that's why I said it in the first place, to get back at her for hitting me. She was talking about wanting to have some red highlights put in her hair. She has really nice light brown hair with blonde highlights already. I complimented her on it, and on the fact that it's gotten much longer since the beginning of the semester. I told her that I really like it and she shouldn't change it. She said that she saw a show where some women were getting it done, and also had a dream about it. I also pulled the little saying that she has something really nice about her, and she wants to go and change it. It was pretty much the same argument I used to talk Kim ut of cutting her hair way back at Busch Gardens. It worked, she said that she wouldn't get it done now, just for me...

We kept joking around about a lot of stuff we say on TV. I expressed my liking of Niki Taylor who was in this commercial. She hit me and said that I'm not aloud to be so open about it. I told her that she does the same thing with guys, and we `argued' about it for a few minutes. I also had her looking at my new pictures. We also were comparing tans. She went to Crescent Beach one day, and got the tiniest bit darker. She didn't even want to compare our arms, but we did anyway. We were talking about her tummy being burnt again, but she said that it's better. We kept joking that we really should be studying, but we never got around to it. She still has no electricity or water in her home, so she had to be at the place where she is spending the night be eleven. It's the family's house that she babysits for. I walked her down to her newer station wagon, and we said goodbye. It was a fun little relaxing evening.

Speaking of dreams, Kim and I have been joking a lot about rejection lately. She said that she had a dream after we were first talking about it on Sunday. She was back working at the florist shop, and was flirting with some guys that came into the shop. They came out and told her that they were more interested in this other girl, and she told them to fuck off. It was pretty funny. She said that as soon as she woke up, she thought of me. We talked a lot about that, and found a lot of ways to joke about people's fear of rejection over Spring Break. It was an interesting topic. She was also talking about wanting to get a dog, because they are loyal...