Eddie and I competed in a pool tournament today that was a lot more legitimate that last years. There were about sixteen players initially and they were all pretty decent. Not the sorry little girls who played last year who has maybe touched a que stick twice. I had been downstairs working on my car for a little while and found a message from Roswitha when I got upstairs telling me to hurry and come down.
Ed had already one his first game and I got added in towards the middle of the first round. I was initially supposed to play the organizer of the event first but then the Eric that I have known for a while and saw at Mardi Gras signed up and we got paired off. Holly was there with him which was cool. He was an alright player and we remained evenly matched for a while until my newly acquired skills started kicking in and I finished up by beating him. That was fucking awesome because I beat him in front of Holly who had watched the entire match. Eric split after that and Holly talked to me for a minute later on while I was sitting with Roswitha which was cool and a good ice breaker I hope. Wouldn't Leigh Anne be pissed! Ha! Ha!
I went on to play this guy who was supposedly pretty good but he took a slop shot and I also let him recover from a table foul. The tide turned towards his favor and I started getting pissed that I had been so generous to him at the beginning of the game so I rallied. I didn't even need to finish my last easy shot because he scratched the eight ball. What was cool was my consistency which was better than I had ever been before. I sunk a ball on my first four shot although I scratched on each second one.
Ed lost the second round to some guy who I would be playing next. The guy hit the ball way too hard on a lot of occasions and wasn't really that consistent of a player. Lucky is a lot more like it. Lucky because it just happened that Ed was never given any easy shots and Lucky because he then played generous yet not very skilled me. Our game came down to the eight ball being left alone on the table. He even scratched while sinking his last ball giving an extremely easy shot that I rushed and missed. That was extremely stupid on my part because I should know better by now, but oh well. Ed and I lost to the same guy which is cool and keeps him in his place. I played extremely well against this guy to even tie him until the very end, but I played too nice. I gave over a slop shot that I could have easily lied about even though I think he hadn't earlier. Roswitha told me that I should have just taken it f the other wasn't going to object because I would have won. That only sucks because that was a semifinal game. Damn, but oh well. It was fun which is all that matters and I'm getting much much better.
I called Shar¡ and talked to her for a few minutes yesterday but she was stoned after already smoking five joints since she had waken up. That kind of sucked and I took things a little more negatively than I should have as usual just because she didn't seem too enthusiastic about me. She did ask when I am going to transfer and so forth. I'm just waiting to see what happens over spring break first.
Showing posts with label Ed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ed. Show all posts
Sunday, February 27, 1994
Saturday, January 22, 1994
January 22, 1994 - Saturday - Mardi Gras Gator Style
I went to Mardi Gras Gator Style last night just to have a really good laugh at the dorm area governments' attempt to even begin to imitate one of the biggest sex parties in the United States. I also saw it as a good way to take Leigh Anne out and have some fun for free, since there was no admission and I later heard that the food was free as well. We then gathered up a group consisting of Aimee, Michelle, and Edward.
Everybody got ready in a decent amount of time except Leigh Anne. She was getting to the point where she was pissing both Ed and I off a lot. She started off by changing clothes a couple of times and then couldn't find this one pair of shoes and couldn't supplement one of the other fifty pairs she owns. It was getting kind of ridiculous. All I kept thinking was about how I am the type of person who likes to be on time, or better yet really early, and she is constantly taking forever to do things and I really hate that. That alone is almost enough reason for me to never go out with her again. The way I see it, if she doesn't care enough to keep our plans, then fuck her. I would have left her last night if she isn't as useful as she is in everyday life lately.
When we got to Mardi Gras it was funny how few people were there on the outside. It was freezing cold, however, because this crowd wasn't emitting the kind of heat the real Mardi Gras crowd does. They had a bunch of little game booths set up including, but not limited to (ha ha), toss a ring on a two liter bottle, football toss, a wedding booth, and face painting. They also had popcorn and cotton candy machines. We went inside where they had set up a fairly respectable dance floor with a decent sound system and a crappy disc jockey who went to high school with Leigh Anne and fucked up way too many times. Ed quickly saw the food line and we headed over there and were lucky enough to get one of the few tables to sit at.
I took one bite of the chili and almost burned my tongue off! It was really shitty, though, because all they did was take cheap chili and add a bunch of tabasco sauce to it. They had cookies and professionally made cake which was good. We ate and then headed upstairs to their so called casino. At the entrance they would draw a big permanent blue smile on your hand to signify that you've received your five hundred dollars worth of free poker chips and five free carnival tickets. that as awesome because I didn't realize this part would be free. It was a classier atmosphere upstairs with a snack buffet and a local "jazz" band. We walked around and looked at all of the betting tables which had blackjack, acey ducey, roulette with real roulette wheels!, and rooms where poker games were being played. Ed and I then took off to see what was up outside because it all seemed so much better since it was free!
Ed found the ring toss and thought since he was a good frisbee player that he could probably do it. He overshot almost every one of them and spent all of his tickets doing so. Retard. But hopefully he had fun which is all that matters. I, on the other hand, have always been really confidant that throwing bean bags at a pyramid of cans would be really easy. I used to see it all the time at Busch Gardens but never tried it. Each ticket got you two complete tries. There was suddenly a line of about five people and only one guy was good enough to knock all but two of the cans down once.
I stepped up and shifted the bean bag to contour it to my palm to get better aim. I knew that speed wasn't the goal, aim is. My first toss knocked down all but one of the cans!, and my second sent them all crashing down!!! That was awesome!!! Ed was with me to see it and we were joking about the carnie. He looked like Axl Rose which was funny. When Ed saw how good I did he joked that I must be in good with some carnies and I reminded him that I dated Shar¡ so I know how to win some of these games! I kicked ass. Some more people played and one guy knocked them down. On my third try I knocked down all but one and since I played three times he let the crowd vote and since I was the only one coming even close, they gave me another fifty dollar slip. these were to be used at the auction at the end of the night. I played and one again before heading back in.
As I walked by the cotton candy machine, I realized it was free and got me a nice big one that was delicious. The girl told me to come back for more when I was done and I did. I gave the first one too Leigh Anne when I walked in the door to make up since I left her for so long. I then got another for myself. I haven't had cotton candy in so long and it was wonderful. I ended up either eating four or five huge sticks of it even though Ed or Michelle would dome by and snag a small piece every once in a while. They all wanted popcorn at one point and a big black guy had taken over. He was filling one really full because nobody was there and as I threw away my stick, he offered me another. Yum yum!
I then offered to marry Leigh Anne and she used two of our tickets to do so. We each got a certificate and a ring. We then got to throw on a hat and hold a bouquet and have a Polaroid picture taken. I had everybody get in the picture with us and it turned out awesome. The vows were only for the night and consisted of stuff like not giving your beads to any other girl. Yeah right! The picture is great because we all look really happy and are crowded together and is the kind of picture that you look back at later in life and will have some really good memories about the time you spent imprisoned here. So I made sure I had it at the end of the night.
We then headed back inside and they wanted to dance. I didn't feel like it, nor did Aimee. I talked to her a little bit and am starting to really like her now that she and her boyfriend broke up. After a while I headed upstairs and stopped by the free tokens table again. I had conveniently used excessive amounts of saliva earlier to remove their smile off of my hand and doubled my cash. I then headed back out and played bean bag toss five more times and grabbed some more cotton candy. Leigh Anne came outside once and threw one of my bean bags and actually won. They all played a couple of times after seeing me win.
I later headed back upstairs and decided to start watching the Roulette wheel and after figuring out the rules, I started placing small bets. I then got carried away and went on a roller coaster ride with my money. I eventually blew it all but had an awesome time doing so. I also was glad to have the chance to publicly gamble without really spending any money. It was a good lesson. I then realized that those fifty dollar slips could be turned in for tokens and I had accumulated nine by that time which means I won that game seven times!!! out of ten rounds. I went back and lost all of my money and found it funny as I told Leigh Anne that I gambled away all of our honeymoon money!!! I had a great time, though, and am sure that she had more fun dancing.
There were some really awesome looking girls in the place and I walked by this one whose balloon had floated to the ceiling. This guy was desperately jumping to get it for her but it seemed hopeless. I offered to get it for her and he wanted to try again to not be shown up. I laughed as his attempt failed and jumped up and grabbed it in both hands on the first try. I handed it to her and after she thanked me, I walked away. It was really funny. There's this girl named Holly who everybody next door calls a whore and Hollywould because Holy would and so forth. She can dress up rather nicely and has a great body. It's just because she runs around talking to all the cute RA's all of the time. I also make an extra effort to flirt with her and she noticed me doing so last night. That was a lot of fun. There also was a really tall girl with gorgeous breasts that I flirted with for a while, all while Leigh Anne was dancing obliviously just in front of me.
I kept trying to protect Aimee form this guy who kept making passes at her all night long. That was ind of funny and I teased her about her new boyfriend later. I then slow danced for a very short time with Leigh Anne and at the end of the night and I included Aimee as a threesome once by putting my arm around her. I have started being increasingly liberal with them all and hope that things will work out to my advantage. Well, we all seemed to have had a pretty good time last night and now I have to go make a phone call and wake up Leigh Anne.
Everybody got ready in a decent amount of time except Leigh Anne. She was getting to the point where she was pissing both Ed and I off a lot. She started off by changing clothes a couple of times and then couldn't find this one pair of shoes and couldn't supplement one of the other fifty pairs she owns. It was getting kind of ridiculous. All I kept thinking was about how I am the type of person who likes to be on time, or better yet really early, and she is constantly taking forever to do things and I really hate that. That alone is almost enough reason for me to never go out with her again. The way I see it, if she doesn't care enough to keep our plans, then fuck her. I would have left her last night if she isn't as useful as she is in everyday life lately.
When we got to Mardi Gras it was funny how few people were there on the outside. It was freezing cold, however, because this crowd wasn't emitting the kind of heat the real Mardi Gras crowd does. They had a bunch of little game booths set up including, but not limited to (ha ha), toss a ring on a two liter bottle, football toss, a wedding booth, and face painting. They also had popcorn and cotton candy machines. We went inside where they had set up a fairly respectable dance floor with a decent sound system and a crappy disc jockey who went to high school with Leigh Anne and fucked up way too many times. Ed quickly saw the food line and we headed over there and were lucky enough to get one of the few tables to sit at.
I took one bite of the chili and almost burned my tongue off! It was really shitty, though, because all they did was take cheap chili and add a bunch of tabasco sauce to it. They had cookies and professionally made cake which was good. We ate and then headed upstairs to their so called casino. At the entrance they would draw a big permanent blue smile on your hand to signify that you've received your five hundred dollars worth of free poker chips and five free carnival tickets. that as awesome because I didn't realize this part would be free. It was a classier atmosphere upstairs with a snack buffet and a local "jazz" band. We walked around and looked at all of the betting tables which had blackjack, acey ducey, roulette with real roulette wheels!, and rooms where poker games were being played. Ed and I then took off to see what was up outside because it all seemed so much better since it was free!
Ed found the ring toss and thought since he was a good frisbee player that he could probably do it. He overshot almost every one of them and spent all of his tickets doing so. Retard. But hopefully he had fun which is all that matters. I, on the other hand, have always been really confidant that throwing bean bags at a pyramid of cans would be really easy. I used to see it all the time at Busch Gardens but never tried it. Each ticket got you two complete tries. There was suddenly a line of about five people and only one guy was good enough to knock all but two of the cans down once.
I stepped up and shifted the bean bag to contour it to my palm to get better aim. I knew that speed wasn't the goal, aim is. My first toss knocked down all but one of the cans!, and my second sent them all crashing down!!! That was awesome!!! Ed was with me to see it and we were joking about the carnie. He looked like Axl Rose which was funny. When Ed saw how good I did he joked that I must be in good with some carnies and I reminded him that I dated Shar¡ so I know how to win some of these games! I kicked ass. Some more people played and one guy knocked them down. On my third try I knocked down all but one and since I played three times he let the crowd vote and since I was the only one coming even close, they gave me another fifty dollar slip. these were to be used at the auction at the end of the night. I played and one again before heading back in.
As I walked by the cotton candy machine, I realized it was free and got me a nice big one that was delicious. The girl told me to come back for more when I was done and I did. I gave the first one too Leigh Anne when I walked in the door to make up since I left her for so long. I then got another for myself. I haven't had cotton candy in so long and it was wonderful. I ended up either eating four or five huge sticks of it even though Ed or Michelle would dome by and snag a small piece every once in a while. They all wanted popcorn at one point and a big black guy had taken over. He was filling one really full because nobody was there and as I threw away my stick, he offered me another. Yum yum!
I then offered to marry Leigh Anne and she used two of our tickets to do so. We each got a certificate and a ring. We then got to throw on a hat and hold a bouquet and have a Polaroid picture taken. I had everybody get in the picture with us and it turned out awesome. The vows were only for the night and consisted of stuff like not giving your beads to any other girl. Yeah right! The picture is great because we all look really happy and are crowded together and is the kind of picture that you look back at later in life and will have some really good memories about the time you spent imprisoned here. So I made sure I had it at the end of the night.
We then headed back inside and they wanted to dance. I didn't feel like it, nor did Aimee. I talked to her a little bit and am starting to really like her now that she and her boyfriend broke up. After a while I headed upstairs and stopped by the free tokens table again. I had conveniently used excessive amounts of saliva earlier to remove their smile off of my hand and doubled my cash. I then headed back out and played bean bag toss five more times and grabbed some more cotton candy. Leigh Anne came outside once and threw one of my bean bags and actually won. They all played a couple of times after seeing me win.
I later headed back upstairs and decided to start watching the Roulette wheel and after figuring out the rules, I started placing small bets. I then got carried away and went on a roller coaster ride with my money. I eventually blew it all but had an awesome time doing so. I also was glad to have the chance to publicly gamble without really spending any money. It was a good lesson. I then realized that those fifty dollar slips could be turned in for tokens and I had accumulated nine by that time which means I won that game seven times!!! out of ten rounds. I went back and lost all of my money and found it funny as I told Leigh Anne that I gambled away all of our honeymoon money!!! I had a great time, though, and am sure that she had more fun dancing.
There were some really awesome looking girls in the place and I walked by this one whose balloon had floated to the ceiling. This guy was desperately jumping to get it for her but it seemed hopeless. I offered to get it for her and he wanted to try again to not be shown up. I laughed as his attempt failed and jumped up and grabbed it in both hands on the first try. I handed it to her and after she thanked me, I walked away. It was really funny. There's this girl named Holly who everybody next door calls a whore and Hollywould because Holy would and so forth. She can dress up rather nicely and has a great body. It's just because she runs around talking to all the cute RA's all of the time. I also make an extra effort to flirt with her and she noticed me doing so last night. That was a lot of fun. There also was a really tall girl with gorgeous breasts that I flirted with for a while, all while Leigh Anne was dancing obliviously just in front of me.
I kept trying to protect Aimee form this guy who kept making passes at her all night long. That was ind of funny and I teased her about her new boyfriend later. I then slow danced for a very short time with Leigh Anne and at the end of the night and I included Aimee as a threesome once by putting my arm around her. I have started being increasingly liberal with them all and hope that things will work out to my advantage. Well, we all seemed to have had a pretty good time last night and now I have to go make a phone call and wake up Leigh Anne.
Sunday, November 14, 1993
November 14, 1993 - Sunday - Movie, I won war twice!
I did my part, to break her heart, but she walked out on me, and tore my world apart... Thanks Shar¡.
Well, Leigh Anne and I played war today, and I won twice!!! She decided to shuck our plans of watching Aladdin, eating Jello, and playing with Cool Whip and instead go see a movie with Ed and Roswitha. We decided to go see "My Life," a movie with really good advertising (including Enya music) and a really good review by Michelle. Stupid then let us know in the car that she forgot her wallet, her money and ATM card, in the rush to get ready. Bullshit! It then took us a really long time to get through the line at the theater but I was having a pretty good time flirting. There was a gorgeous girl behind us who looked so fucking sexy in the club clothes she was wearing. I also waved to this cute girl from my German class who was further back line.
It was cool that all four of us tend to get along rather well. Roswitha and Leigh Anne even ran off together to look at the movie times and I thought that was cute. We had to sit in the front row, but that didn't take away from the experience at all. It was a really sad movie that made both of the girls really cry. One of the most touching themes was about a father who doesn't spend enough time with his family and is always working. I figured that would get to Leigh Anne but I don't really have that problem because we did quite a bit with father. I also used to go to work with him a lot which kept us close.
Leigh Anne and I were doing a lot of public emotion tonight and she'll even hold my hand and kiss me every so often. When we got home she wanted to go straight to eating Jello and licking Cool Whip off of each other. I think it would have been much more seductive if we had stayed and watched Aladdin because I was no longer in the mood for licking. I thus didn't do her the favor (or flavor) back and she got upset. We thus played war, the card game, and I kicked her ass. She then undressed and hopped up into bed. I had just put in Enya and decided to just lay on the floor and meditate to her music. Of course this was somewhat intended to piss Leigh Anne off even more. I figured if she wa going to act that way, I might as well give her a real reason.
When I did get in bed, I didn't start anything, I started just to go to sleep. She got upset and wanted to talk so I spilled my guts a little bit but confused her. She got mad and said that we should just go to sleep. She then asked again if we could talk and I said, "Good night!" as I got out of bed to go pee. That pissed her off even more. I didn't hold her all night and didn't wait around for her to wake up in the morning either. I started writing letters to Carey Ann and Kimmeth and didn't even talk to Leigh Anne.
She ended up grabbing her blanket and clothes and went back to her room. She came back to get her Aladdin tape and brought me back my laundry basket and the clothes she was wearing of mine. I didn't pay much attention to her and was acting like I didn't care. I could tell that all she wanted me to do was to grab her and beg for her back.
Jon witnessed the whole thing and I decided that I have been doing the chasing all of my life and I am fucking tired of it. If she didn't care enough about us that she could just throw it away by leaving, then that is her decision and thus she is decided her fate. I would live with it either way. I am just so sick of not being chased and always seeming to be doing all of the work and changing to make people happy. I also KNEW that she'd come back on her own. When she was dating Jerry she forgave him far too many times for me to go chasing her now. Instead I cooked and ate lunch.
I had some sickening realizations about Shar¡ today as well. There are so many things that Leigh Anne does wrong that I took for granted with Shar¡. There are also certain things that I realize now were attempts by Shar¡ to make me happy in her own beautiful way. Things she said: like when she said that she loves me... I think I accept that now as the most important thing anybody has ever said to me. It was such a perfect moment and is something that was so hard for her to admit... and she did cry when I told her how much it meant to me. She also did lots of little things, like buying me that card which was the main focus of her day. I love her so much and would go back to her in a heartbeat. I was just so happy with her. I hope I can someday find a decent girl that I will feel the same way about...
I got this note from Leigh Anne under the door while I was eating:
I'm not sure how to explain what is going on. I know how I feel about you, but not knowing how you feel about me is too much for me to handle. You can SAY I love you, but meaning it is something else. I know I'm probably blowing this out of proportion but I tend to do that. You told me to tell you anything I wanted to, so I did. I told you how I needed certain things from you, but I guess that was too much to ask. I thought that of all people, YOU would know what I needed, but I guess I overestimated you, or us,whatever the case may be. The perfect example was last night/ this morning/ afternoon. You know I was upset, but your response did not help! All I wanted was for you to hold me + tell me not to give up. Or some crap like that. Ignoring me is NOT the answer. It only gets me more upset because then I think you don't give a shit which is EXACTLY the way I feel right now. You didn't even try to stop me from leaving nor did you come over here. I just don't know anything anymore, except that I love you + I wanted to thank you for the brief, but wonderful, time we spent together.
Love, Leigh Anne
However, I still knew she'd come back, and I didn't leave and wasn't moved by her letter. I did follow her over to her room once when she brought me my laundry basket and she left her door open for me to follow. Had she slammed it, she would have needed a lot of ass kissing to get me back. She still stomped into her room and sat on the floor. I was still pissed that she kept walking away so I just left again. Michelle looked at me funny when I walked in, and I said that it's just not worth it as I walked by her and left. I figured that would work rather nicely.
It wasn't long before she came back and I ended up telling her why she pissed me off and that she can't just think about herself. I also gave her a guilt trip for trying to change me. She broke down very easily and begged ME to forgive her and said that she was being stupid and didn't mean the letter at all. This has to be the first time anyone has ever openly worked to keep ME!!! Go ego! And things are back to normal now and she is learning that she should'nt make me upset, because she doesn't like it when she does. She's told me I no fun to be arguing with because I don't get violent and fight back. That would only give her a reason to be angry at me and hold a grudge. This way she can only feel guilty... Good!
She also knew how much I can't stand letters since I got Shar¡'s and I really didn't appreciate what Leigh Anne did. I also got up early today to take a shower and had a hallucination that Shar¡ was there waiting in bed for me. It's almost like my brain is trying to project Shar¡ onto Leigh Anne but Leigh Anne will never even come close. Even my brain can't compensate for that much error!
Well, Leigh Anne and I played war today, and I won twice!!! She decided to shuck our plans of watching Aladdin, eating Jello, and playing with Cool Whip and instead go see a movie with Ed and Roswitha. We decided to go see "My Life," a movie with really good advertising (including Enya music) and a really good review by Michelle. Stupid then let us know in the car that she forgot her wallet, her money and ATM card, in the rush to get ready. Bullshit! It then took us a really long time to get through the line at the theater but I was having a pretty good time flirting. There was a gorgeous girl behind us who looked so fucking sexy in the club clothes she was wearing. I also waved to this cute girl from my German class who was further back line.
It was cool that all four of us tend to get along rather well. Roswitha and Leigh Anne even ran off together to look at the movie times and I thought that was cute. We had to sit in the front row, but that didn't take away from the experience at all. It was a really sad movie that made both of the girls really cry. One of the most touching themes was about a father who doesn't spend enough time with his family and is always working. I figured that would get to Leigh Anne but I don't really have that problem because we did quite a bit with father. I also used to go to work with him a lot which kept us close.
Leigh Anne and I were doing a lot of public emotion tonight and she'll even hold my hand and kiss me every so often. When we got home she wanted to go straight to eating Jello and licking Cool Whip off of each other. I think it would have been much more seductive if we had stayed and watched Aladdin because I was no longer in the mood for licking. I thus didn't do her the favor (or flavor) back and she got upset. We thus played war, the card game, and I kicked her ass. She then undressed and hopped up into bed. I had just put in Enya and decided to just lay on the floor and meditate to her music. Of course this was somewhat intended to piss Leigh Anne off even more. I figured if she wa going to act that way, I might as well give her a real reason.
When I did get in bed, I didn't start anything, I started just to go to sleep. She got upset and wanted to talk so I spilled my guts a little bit but confused her. She got mad and said that we should just go to sleep. She then asked again if we could talk and I said, "Good night!" as I got out of bed to go pee. That pissed her off even more. I didn't hold her all night and didn't wait around for her to wake up in the morning either. I started writing letters to Carey Ann and Kimmeth and didn't even talk to Leigh Anne.
She ended up grabbing her blanket and clothes and went back to her room. She came back to get her Aladdin tape and brought me back my laundry basket and the clothes she was wearing of mine. I didn't pay much attention to her and was acting like I didn't care. I could tell that all she wanted me to do was to grab her and beg for her back.
Jon witnessed the whole thing and I decided that I have been doing the chasing all of my life and I am fucking tired of it. If she didn't care enough about us that she could just throw it away by leaving, then that is her decision and thus she is decided her fate. I would live with it either way. I am just so sick of not being chased and always seeming to be doing all of the work and changing to make people happy. I also KNEW that she'd come back on her own. When she was dating Jerry she forgave him far too many times for me to go chasing her now. Instead I cooked and ate lunch.
I had some sickening realizations about Shar¡ today as well. There are so many things that Leigh Anne does wrong that I took for granted with Shar¡. There are also certain things that I realize now were attempts by Shar¡ to make me happy in her own beautiful way. Things she said: like when she said that she loves me... I think I accept that now as the most important thing anybody has ever said to me. It was such a perfect moment and is something that was so hard for her to admit... and she did cry when I told her how much it meant to me. She also did lots of little things, like buying me that card which was the main focus of her day. I love her so much and would go back to her in a heartbeat. I was just so happy with her. I hope I can someday find a decent girl that I will feel the same way about...
I got this note from Leigh Anne under the door while I was eating:
I'm not sure how to explain what is going on. I know how I feel about you, but not knowing how you feel about me is too much for me to handle. You can SAY I love you, but meaning it is something else. I know I'm probably blowing this out of proportion but I tend to do that. You told me to tell you anything I wanted to, so I did. I told you how I needed certain things from you, but I guess that was too much to ask. I thought that of all people, YOU would know what I needed, but I guess I overestimated you, or us,whatever the case may be. The perfect example was last night/ this morning/ afternoon. You know I was upset, but your response did not help! All I wanted was for you to hold me + tell me not to give up. Or some crap like that. Ignoring me is NOT the answer. It only gets me more upset because then I think you don't give a shit which is EXACTLY the way I feel right now. You didn't even try to stop me from leaving nor did you come over here. I just don't know anything anymore, except that I love you + I wanted to thank you for the brief, but wonderful, time we spent together.
Love, Leigh Anne
However, I still knew she'd come back, and I didn't leave and wasn't moved by her letter. I did follow her over to her room once when she brought me my laundry basket and she left her door open for me to follow. Had she slammed it, she would have needed a lot of ass kissing to get me back. She still stomped into her room and sat on the floor. I was still pissed that she kept walking away so I just left again. Michelle looked at me funny when I walked in, and I said that it's just not worth it as I walked by her and left. I figured that would work rather nicely.
It wasn't long before she came back and I ended up telling her why she pissed me off and that she can't just think about herself. I also gave her a guilt trip for trying to change me. She broke down very easily and begged ME to forgive her and said that she was being stupid and didn't mean the letter at all. This has to be the first time anyone has ever openly worked to keep ME!!! Go ego! And things are back to normal now and she is learning that she should'nt make me upset, because she doesn't like it when she does. She's told me I no fun to be arguing with because I don't get violent and fight back. That would only give her a reason to be angry at me and hold a grudge. This way she can only feel guilty... Good!
She also knew how much I can't stand letters since I got Shar¡'s and I really didn't appreciate what Leigh Anne did. I also got up early today to take a shower and had a hallucination that Shar¡ was there waiting in bed for me. It's almost like my brain is trying to project Shar¡ onto Leigh Anne but Leigh Anne will never even come close. Even my brain can't compensate for that much error!
Wednesday, November 3, 1993
November 3, 1993 - Wednesday - Balloons for Leigh Anne!
Day three went rather well, I must say. After class yesterday, during which I talked to Katie quite a bit, I walked home and started to pee. I wasn't even half way done before somebody started knocking on the door, and of course it was Leigh Anne. She said that she was sorry for not getting up to walk to fifth period with me but she didn't even really wake up until she heard me talking to Michelle before I left. I said that it was fine and then walked her to her job at this little museum gallery in the Fine Arts Building. I carried her lunch for her and made sure to get as many of the doors as possible and she thought that was really sweet.
She showed up last night just after six and asked why I was here, since I told her I'd be at the bonfire. I told her it was because Chris is on the phone with Marty. I asked her if she wanted to walk down to see the fireworks but unfortunately she had people coming over to study for her botany exam which was today. I was writing my journal and she suddenly remembered that I keep one and asked what I had written about her. I joked that I had forgotten about her even coming over! We talked for a while and before long, Cecil, Ed and Roswitha showed up. Ed called out asking anybody if they wanted to go to the bonfire and Leigh Anne nudged me and I looked at her saying that of course I was going. Chris kind of forced us, along with the commanding intervention of Roswitha to watch Jeopardy before we left. I was impressed with the fact that Leigh Anne knew a lot and we all actually came up with quite a few answers.
Leigh Anne and I sat on opposite sides of the room and acted pretty much oblivious of each other the entire time which I didn't think looked that great, but oh well. Leigh Anne's guests finally arrived and all I saw was a guy going in as we all left for the bonfire. We walked all of the way there and were having a rather decent conversation. I always like talking to Roswitha because she's pretty versed on the stuff I like to talk about and we always seem to appreciate each others ideas. When we got there we just walked amidst all of the people and I was looking and flirting hard with all of the women there.
I just had a very strong conflict of mental interest. I used to always refer to the females on campus as girls, but it just sounded wrong to me when I wrote it in the last paragraph and had to change it to women. I think it has a lot to do with me growing up and realizing that I am an "adult" now and therefore my peers must be "adults" as well. There's still the slightest bit of doubt in my mind, but I think that the whole thing stems off of the added maturity I feel just from talking again with Kimmeth.
Anyway, Ed and I walked around for a little while by ourselves "looking for women" as Roswitha "looked for men!" That was kind of interesting hearing the two of them say that as I was personally missing the good old days when Ed and I used to go looking for women during the abundance of our spare time. This is when I told Ed all about what happened between Leigh Anne and I the night before. We then got ourselves a really good up front view of the bonfire and then walked over and sat in the band's bleacher to watch the firework show. I was extremely impressed by the size of the show considering that it was only for a small college homecoming group. It was nothing compared to Boomsday but I still thoroughly enjoyed it.
Our bleacher had a large clump of orange and blue balloons tied to both upper corners. I had the thieving idea that I was going to use my razor to cut one loose to take home with me. Thus we sat blocking off the corner so nobody else would get the same idea and get to them first. there was a lot of security people but they were all from fraternities and I figured if they really cared, I would just hand him the balloons and it wouldn't be any big deal. I told them to walk through the crowd however because a security person is less likely to be a dick around other people than alone in the outskirts. After the finale, which made a lot of noise which is a must I think for any good fireworks show, I stood up and cut my clump loose. A family of four went for the others after they saw me and the mom asked if I had a knife. I leant it to them and she said that they were trying to use toenail clippers, and explained that they really like balloons. We laughed as I said that I understand, hinting at my handful of almost fifteen big balloons.
As we neared the parking lot there were these two gorgeous girls walking behind the three of us. One whispered very quietly that I got THE balloons and that she wanted one. I am so use to eavesdropping that I quickly worked one loose from the bunch and turned around and walked over handing it to her with a big smile on my face. She was really happy, and embarrassed exclaiming that she didn't think I could hear her. It was really funny and it made me feel really good to do something that nice. I love making someone's day!!!
We then stuffed all of the balloons in the car as Ed drove, very slowly, back to Beaty. As we walked by Leigh Anne's room, Roswitha pretended she was going to knock on their door and smiled at me, but I really did knock but kept walking. I could hear them yelling for me to come in, and it took a long time for them to come to the door, but fortunately she did because I couldn't have planned the surprise better. I truly did intend to surprise Leigh Anne with a huge bouquet of balloons because I knew she'd like them plus they were costless. It doesn't get better than that. Anyway, she came to the door just as I stuffed all of the balloons into my room and was just standing there. She looked at me and called me a jerk because I didn't come in and then I told her I brought a surprise for her. She perked up and started coming towards me and I pulled them out.
I have never seen her more happy as she took them and showed them off to everybody in the room before tying them up in her room. She was REALLY happy, you could just tell in her eyes. I quickly left the room so that they all could get their questions answered by Leigh Anne and also because I was a little embarrassed. Leigh Anne told me later that as soon as I left, Delisa suddenly interrogated her since Leigh Anne had slept in my bed the night before and now this! It was really funny. She came over a little while later and watched Start Trek with Jon and I. She and I were both dead tired and it was a very quiet hour and I would have loved doing anything but what we were doing.
Things finally heated up after the show as we were talking about her test today. She told me that she wished she would have gone with me to the Bonfire, and would have if she knew only that one guy was going to show up to study. I told her that it would have only ruined my surprise and was pretty glad she didn't. She mentioned that they learned how to make beer in her botany class and I pulled out my Budweiser pamphlet from Busch Gardens that showed how beer is brewed. After looking at it she exclaimed that it was the exact thing that her teacher photocopied and gave to them and she had really wondered what the pictures were of that he blanked out. It was kind of funny.
We came into my room and she went to hop up into bed but I pulled her right back down because she was still in shoes. I showed her a coupon I had found for four dollars off admissions to Busch Gardens in case we decide to go. She started looking at an article on the Kumba and I pulled out the other information I have about it to show her. Fortunately a bunch of it is in my award book so she started looking at those. I pretended like I wanted her to stop but she told me that she wanted to see how much of a nerd I really am. She also asked me if I went to a school of retards and that was why I was valedictorian! She also read my conveniently placed psychological evaluation.
I climbed up with her soon afterwards and I told her she didn't get a real backrub tonight because I really needed to go to sleep soon. We messed around for a little while and she found out that I am ticklish and was taking advantage of that around my crotch. I tried to tickle her but she claimed that she's not ticklish at all and I asked why she was the night before. She claimed that she was very turned on the night before and if that doesn't make one feel special, then I don't know what will. She also likes to say everything she feels and tells me what she wants to do for me quite often. We joked about that later and she said that she gets embarrassed because sometimes the stuff she says is really corny, but it is almost always true. That conversation was really cute.
Every once in a while I would touch her or rub her in such a way that she would moan. She told me that she really likes the way I touch her, like I actually care... so gentle. I think that's one of my best talents and the girls I have dealt with are so used to bumbling idiots that I seem so much better to them.
She was wearing a tight white shirt and I asked her if it was a leotard. She said no and asked why. I told her that I didn't want to do this if it was as I pulled it out of her pants rather quickly. She thought about it for a second and then started laughing really hard after admitting that it would really have hurt if it was. She then thanked me for asking first and then said that she was impressed that I know the real word for a leotard, instead of a body suit. It was a pretty funny little incident.
We listened to the radio for a while as we fooled around and this time she was lying on top of me. She moved down and kissed my stomach as she slid her fingers up my shorts. She then was rubbing me with both hands through my shorts and that felt damn good. She looked so ready to give me a blow job and I think I'm finally going to get one!!! That's awesome. Leigh Anne also kept thanking me repeatedly for the balloons. I kept telling her that she didn't have to do that anymore but she said that it was probably the nicest thing anybody has ever done for her because it was a surprise. Of course it made me feel awesome once again to be able to make somebody else feel so good.
Amy came over into the room once and called out Leigh Anne's name. She leant up over the edge of the bed and opened the door to answer her. It was kind of funny. She eventually decided that she needed to go eat since her stomach was growling and she needed to study a little more. I kept expressing my desire to sleep so she figured it would be best for both of us. She got a long distance call as she was leaving and came over one last time to say goodnight after she was done. She snuck in a gave me a kiss and we hugged as she said goodbye.
Ashley and I didn't make it to class this morning because she woke up really late. Fortunately I was running late and hadn't gotten dressed when she called, so I went back to sleep. I seemed to pass so many people today that I know both on the way to class and on the way home. I was very impressed. I even stopped to talk to April for quite a while.
In psychology, Karen was being especially wonderful today. I really like being with her and joking around with her. She came bouncing up once again with a big smile on her face and we started joking around right from the start. I found out that she only made a twenty-two on our exam and she was kind of upset about that. All through class we kept talking to each other and would casually look at each other every once in a while in a somewhat sexual way. There are just certain things about our looks that are different and I really enjoy them. Griggs was commenting on disorders today and he exemplified socially unacceptable behavior by saying that nobody in the class seems to have a habit of picking their noses! We all laughed and I reached over pretending to hold her arm down and asked her if she'd been putting her finger in her nose again! It was funny. It was interesting, too, because she answered by saying, "Well Dan, you know..." So she does know my name!
We were talking about schizophrenia later and she said that she hears people calling her name all of the time at work. I told her that she has a pretty common name and does work at a grocery store where lots of people come through who are named that. I just wanted her to know that I know her name as well. It was kind of funny. We then walked together after class and she got some change to do laundry with later. I joked that I spent my last dollar on a loaf of bread yesterday, and it sucks because all of my underwear are dirty so I'll have to scrounge up some change. She then stopped to get a drink and we were still talking. She then asked me if I wanted a drink!!!, and I happily declined. I just felt so special that she would have been so nice as to buy me a drink!
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And as my four days of luck run out... (Actually I'd like to think there will be some tremendously residual effects, but we'll see.) I walked downstairs with Chris a few minutes ago to send him on his way to study. Michelle from next door came walking out of the downstairs library and I quickly latched onto her gaining a free ride into her room. When we got upstairs, to my delightful surprise, I found that Jerry had indeed returned to "be with" Leigh Anne. She has warned me that he is still a part of her life (for I did interject myself the same day he left) and told me last night that she had a really good idea that he would show up today.
Of course she ran out to save face as soon as I came in and I was quick to walk out of the room, saying goodbye to Michelle. Leigh Anne almost chased me down and came into my room with me. Shar¡ said that he might stick around for a while because he got a new job that is closer to here than his house, but plans on moving in with his cousin really shortly. We were standing there holding each other while we talked and she told me that things will settle down before long. I told her that I understand and really respect the fact that she is telling me the truth. I wanted to say that I have promoted many a break up for my own benefit, and I don't see it as that big a deal. Of course it upsets me somewhat but I told her that I've waited this long, so what's a little bit longer. I am fortunately not getting attached in this case for right now because this whole idea is a sex for convenience deal.
She kissed me and kept doing so and was rubbing her hands on my lower extremities. I find it funny that she thinks every guy is so hung up on sex that she must reassure me in that manner. I do like it, but I am extremely forgiving and don't really need it. She told me that she thinks things will be a lot better once we get to sleep together and I asked her if she really thinks so. She said that I'm supposed to say how wonderful that sounds... yeah right. I did say something sweet at the end and sent her on her merry way.
Of course I'll whine to Ashley that I fucked up again by getting involved with a girl with a boyfriend. He he. I also keep thinking in patterns which are a major pattern in my life, but I have yet to figure out a relationship pattern. Someone I'd marry and really enjoyed (Nicole), sex for convenience with a girl with a boyfriend that I wouldn't stay with in a million years and actually was embarrassed to be seen with (Abby), someone I'd marry and really enjoyed (Shar¡)..... sex for convenience (Leigh Anne)????? Who knows. Or perhaps actual intercourse will come into play and like Nicole, Leigh Anne and I will fool around but never get that far. I was teased with hopes of a blow job with Nicole, like I am now with Leigh Ann... so who knows? Of course in all cases there is an underlying deep friendship persisting (Kimmeth to Ashley).
Maybe I shouldn't be so analytical but my mind is truly overactive and sometimes I can't help it. The way it looks, since Leigh Anne and I will be so physically unavoidably close for so long, it almost (hopefully) seems inevitable...
She showed up last night just after six and asked why I was here, since I told her I'd be at the bonfire. I told her it was because Chris is on the phone with Marty. I asked her if she wanted to walk down to see the fireworks but unfortunately she had people coming over to study for her botany exam which was today. I was writing my journal and she suddenly remembered that I keep one and asked what I had written about her. I joked that I had forgotten about her even coming over! We talked for a while and before long, Cecil, Ed and Roswitha showed up. Ed called out asking anybody if they wanted to go to the bonfire and Leigh Anne nudged me and I looked at her saying that of course I was going. Chris kind of forced us, along with the commanding intervention of Roswitha to watch Jeopardy before we left. I was impressed with the fact that Leigh Anne knew a lot and we all actually came up with quite a few answers.
Leigh Anne and I sat on opposite sides of the room and acted pretty much oblivious of each other the entire time which I didn't think looked that great, but oh well. Leigh Anne's guests finally arrived and all I saw was a guy going in as we all left for the bonfire. We walked all of the way there and were having a rather decent conversation. I always like talking to Roswitha because she's pretty versed on the stuff I like to talk about and we always seem to appreciate each others ideas. When we got there we just walked amidst all of the people and I was looking and flirting hard with all of the women there.
I just had a very strong conflict of mental interest. I used to always refer to the females on campus as girls, but it just sounded wrong to me when I wrote it in the last paragraph and had to change it to women. I think it has a lot to do with me growing up and realizing that I am an "adult" now and therefore my peers must be "adults" as well. There's still the slightest bit of doubt in my mind, but I think that the whole thing stems off of the added maturity I feel just from talking again with Kimmeth.
Anyway, Ed and I walked around for a little while by ourselves "looking for women" as Roswitha "looked for men!" That was kind of interesting hearing the two of them say that as I was personally missing the good old days when Ed and I used to go looking for women during the abundance of our spare time. This is when I told Ed all about what happened between Leigh Anne and I the night before. We then got ourselves a really good up front view of the bonfire and then walked over and sat in the band's bleacher to watch the firework show. I was extremely impressed by the size of the show considering that it was only for a small college homecoming group. It was nothing compared to Boomsday but I still thoroughly enjoyed it.
Our bleacher had a large clump of orange and blue balloons tied to both upper corners. I had the thieving idea that I was going to use my razor to cut one loose to take home with me. Thus we sat blocking off the corner so nobody else would get the same idea and get to them first. there was a lot of security people but they were all from fraternities and I figured if they really cared, I would just hand him the balloons and it wouldn't be any big deal. I told them to walk through the crowd however because a security person is less likely to be a dick around other people than alone in the outskirts. After the finale, which made a lot of noise which is a must I think for any good fireworks show, I stood up and cut my clump loose. A family of four went for the others after they saw me and the mom asked if I had a knife. I leant it to them and she said that they were trying to use toenail clippers, and explained that they really like balloons. We laughed as I said that I understand, hinting at my handful of almost fifteen big balloons.
As we neared the parking lot there were these two gorgeous girls walking behind the three of us. One whispered very quietly that I got THE balloons and that she wanted one. I am so use to eavesdropping that I quickly worked one loose from the bunch and turned around and walked over handing it to her with a big smile on my face. She was really happy, and embarrassed exclaiming that she didn't think I could hear her. It was really funny and it made me feel really good to do something that nice. I love making someone's day!!!
We then stuffed all of the balloons in the car as Ed drove, very slowly, back to Beaty. As we walked by Leigh Anne's room, Roswitha pretended she was going to knock on their door and smiled at me, but I really did knock but kept walking. I could hear them yelling for me to come in, and it took a long time for them to come to the door, but fortunately she did because I couldn't have planned the surprise better. I truly did intend to surprise Leigh Anne with a huge bouquet of balloons because I knew she'd like them plus they were costless. It doesn't get better than that. Anyway, she came to the door just as I stuffed all of the balloons into my room and was just standing there. She looked at me and called me a jerk because I didn't come in and then I told her I brought a surprise for her. She perked up and started coming towards me and I pulled them out.
I have never seen her more happy as she took them and showed them off to everybody in the room before tying them up in her room. She was REALLY happy, you could just tell in her eyes. I quickly left the room so that they all could get their questions answered by Leigh Anne and also because I was a little embarrassed. Leigh Anne told me later that as soon as I left, Delisa suddenly interrogated her since Leigh Anne had slept in my bed the night before and now this! It was really funny. She came over a little while later and watched Start Trek with Jon and I. She and I were both dead tired and it was a very quiet hour and I would have loved doing anything but what we were doing.
Things finally heated up after the show as we were talking about her test today. She told me that she wished she would have gone with me to the Bonfire, and would have if she knew only that one guy was going to show up to study. I told her that it would have only ruined my surprise and was pretty glad she didn't. She mentioned that they learned how to make beer in her botany class and I pulled out my Budweiser pamphlet from Busch Gardens that showed how beer is brewed. After looking at it she exclaimed that it was the exact thing that her teacher photocopied and gave to them and she had really wondered what the pictures were of that he blanked out. It was kind of funny.
We came into my room and she went to hop up into bed but I pulled her right back down because she was still in shoes. I showed her a coupon I had found for four dollars off admissions to Busch Gardens in case we decide to go. She started looking at an article on the Kumba and I pulled out the other information I have about it to show her. Fortunately a bunch of it is in my award book so she started looking at those. I pretended like I wanted her to stop but she told me that she wanted to see how much of a nerd I really am. She also asked me if I went to a school of retards and that was why I was valedictorian! She also read my conveniently placed psychological evaluation.
I climbed up with her soon afterwards and I told her she didn't get a real backrub tonight because I really needed to go to sleep soon. We messed around for a little while and she found out that I am ticklish and was taking advantage of that around my crotch. I tried to tickle her but she claimed that she's not ticklish at all and I asked why she was the night before. She claimed that she was very turned on the night before and if that doesn't make one feel special, then I don't know what will. She also likes to say everything she feels and tells me what she wants to do for me quite often. We joked about that later and she said that she gets embarrassed because sometimes the stuff she says is really corny, but it is almost always true. That conversation was really cute.
Every once in a while I would touch her or rub her in such a way that she would moan. She told me that she really likes the way I touch her, like I actually care... so gentle. I think that's one of my best talents and the girls I have dealt with are so used to bumbling idiots that I seem so much better to them.
She was wearing a tight white shirt and I asked her if it was a leotard. She said no and asked why. I told her that I didn't want to do this if it was as I pulled it out of her pants rather quickly. She thought about it for a second and then started laughing really hard after admitting that it would really have hurt if it was. She then thanked me for asking first and then said that she was impressed that I know the real word for a leotard, instead of a body suit. It was a pretty funny little incident.
We listened to the radio for a while as we fooled around and this time she was lying on top of me. She moved down and kissed my stomach as she slid her fingers up my shorts. She then was rubbing me with both hands through my shorts and that felt damn good. She looked so ready to give me a blow job and I think I'm finally going to get one!!! That's awesome. Leigh Anne also kept thanking me repeatedly for the balloons. I kept telling her that she didn't have to do that anymore but she said that it was probably the nicest thing anybody has ever done for her because it was a surprise. Of course it made me feel awesome once again to be able to make somebody else feel so good.
Amy came over into the room once and called out Leigh Anne's name. She leant up over the edge of the bed and opened the door to answer her. It was kind of funny. She eventually decided that she needed to go eat since her stomach was growling and she needed to study a little more. I kept expressing my desire to sleep so she figured it would be best for both of us. She got a long distance call as she was leaving and came over one last time to say goodnight after she was done. She snuck in a gave me a kiss and we hugged as she said goodbye.
Ashley and I didn't make it to class this morning because she woke up really late. Fortunately I was running late and hadn't gotten dressed when she called, so I went back to sleep. I seemed to pass so many people today that I know both on the way to class and on the way home. I was very impressed. I even stopped to talk to April for quite a while.
In psychology, Karen was being especially wonderful today. I really like being with her and joking around with her. She came bouncing up once again with a big smile on her face and we started joking around right from the start. I found out that she only made a twenty-two on our exam and she was kind of upset about that. All through class we kept talking to each other and would casually look at each other every once in a while in a somewhat sexual way. There are just certain things about our looks that are different and I really enjoy them. Griggs was commenting on disorders today and he exemplified socially unacceptable behavior by saying that nobody in the class seems to have a habit of picking their noses! We all laughed and I reached over pretending to hold her arm down and asked her if she'd been putting her finger in her nose again! It was funny. It was interesting, too, because she answered by saying, "Well Dan, you know..." So she does know my name!
We were talking about schizophrenia later and she said that she hears people calling her name all of the time at work. I told her that she has a pretty common name and does work at a grocery store where lots of people come through who are named that. I just wanted her to know that I know her name as well. It was kind of funny. We then walked together after class and she got some change to do laundry with later. I joked that I spent my last dollar on a loaf of bread yesterday, and it sucks because all of my underwear are dirty so I'll have to scrounge up some change. She then stopped to get a drink and we were still talking. She then asked me if I wanted a drink!!!, and I happily declined. I just felt so special that she would have been so nice as to buy me a drink!
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And as my four days of luck run out... (Actually I'd like to think there will be some tremendously residual effects, but we'll see.) I walked downstairs with Chris a few minutes ago to send him on his way to study. Michelle from next door came walking out of the downstairs library and I quickly latched onto her gaining a free ride into her room. When we got upstairs, to my delightful surprise, I found that Jerry had indeed returned to "be with" Leigh Anne. She has warned me that he is still a part of her life (for I did interject myself the same day he left) and told me last night that she had a really good idea that he would show up today.
Of course she ran out to save face as soon as I came in and I was quick to walk out of the room, saying goodbye to Michelle. Leigh Anne almost chased me down and came into my room with me. Shar¡ said that he might stick around for a while because he got a new job that is closer to here than his house, but plans on moving in with his cousin really shortly. We were standing there holding each other while we talked and she told me that things will settle down before long. I told her that I understand and really respect the fact that she is telling me the truth. I wanted to say that I have promoted many a break up for my own benefit, and I don't see it as that big a deal. Of course it upsets me somewhat but I told her that I've waited this long, so what's a little bit longer. I am fortunately not getting attached in this case for right now because this whole idea is a sex for convenience deal.
She kissed me and kept doing so and was rubbing her hands on my lower extremities. I find it funny that she thinks every guy is so hung up on sex that she must reassure me in that manner. I do like it, but I am extremely forgiving and don't really need it. She told me that she thinks things will be a lot better once we get to sleep together and I asked her if she really thinks so. She said that I'm supposed to say how wonderful that sounds... yeah right. I did say something sweet at the end and sent her on her merry way.
Of course I'll whine to Ashley that I fucked up again by getting involved with a girl with a boyfriend. He he. I also keep thinking in patterns which are a major pattern in my life, but I have yet to figure out a relationship pattern. Someone I'd marry and really enjoyed (Nicole), sex for convenience with a girl with a boyfriend that I wouldn't stay with in a million years and actually was embarrassed to be seen with (Abby), someone I'd marry and really enjoyed (Shar¡)..... sex for convenience (Leigh Anne)????? Who knows. Or perhaps actual intercourse will come into play and like Nicole, Leigh Anne and I will fool around but never get that far. I was teased with hopes of a blow job with Nicole, like I am now with Leigh Ann... so who knows? Of course in all cases there is an underlying deep friendship persisting (Kimmeth to Ashley).
Maybe I shouldn't be so analytical but my mind is truly overactive and sometimes I can't help it. The way it looks, since Leigh Anne and I will be so physically unavoidably close for so long, it almost (hopefully) seems inevitable...
Saturday, October 16, 1993
October 16, 1993 - Saturday - It's raining, pouring!!!
How the weather works in wonderful ways! Chris was talking to Jon about something and compared it to how miserable you would be if you woke up to a dull, dreary, gray wet day. I thought almost instantly that I really like those kinds of days and the clear crisp sunny days make me miserable. I love humidity... it's the most wonderful thing in the world. It started raining yesterday as I left my psychology exam and it felt really good walking through the rain again. My only concern was my leather bookbag. It made me remember how Shar¡ and I were talking about how we'll both walk comfortably in the rain without running and screaming for cover. I realized that I like wet women!
Well, it's been in between a constant drizzle and a pour all day long today. The Sandfords were up for the day to see a little performance Ed was putting on for an event called the Taste of Homecoming. It's a Greek run event where the major restaurants in Gainesville show off their food and allow you to sample it for a certain number of fifty cent tickets. Of course it was raining. I had gone to the library just to do some recreational reading and then said that I might meet them up there. I looked through an entire stack of Parents magazines and learned some really interesting stuff that would really benefit Shar¡ to know. I was looking at some of the books on the shelves and only wished I had all of the time in the world to read them all.
I then headed downtown to the little festival. By walking, I got to see so many awesome little specialty shops, restaurants, and all of the dance clubs on the way. I saw so many things that you would never notice if you were in a car, or walking at night with Ashley. Gainesville even has an awesome park and courthouse in the middle of town that was very impressive. When I arrived, I found Ed and his family rather quickly. I was talking to Roswitha alone for a few minutes and I noticed that she had yellow green eyes as soon as I saw her. I asked if they were contacts and she said yes. I told her that I hoped I hadn't been that out of it all of those times we've talked together before not to notice a color like that and we laughed. A few minutes later, Ed noticed for the first time and Roswitha piped up and told him that I already realized it really quickly. It was funny and I could imagine Ed wondering why she and I were talking about eye color. Poor Ed.
I was offered a shotgun seat ride home with the Sandfords and gladly accepted. I would have just as readily walked again because I wanted to go into some of those stores, but there will be plenty of days to come. I talked with the Sandfords constantly as usual on the way home and asked about the weather, and if it was like this over the entire state. Mrs. Sandford said that it definitely is and could last all day tomorrow as well. My weekend suddenly became beautiful!!! I hope it poured all over Livestock 4 and ruined the weekend!!! That's awesome. I told Ed about the reasons behind my excitement and he understood. I gloated to Jon about it, too, and found it a deserving punishment for the bitch for ditching her son on his second birthday. But, if she was only going to sit in the RV's and smoke pot and get laid, then, as Ed also pointed out, the rain might give her the advantage.
Chris recently told me that Salem sits around in his apartment always now and just smokes pot. He's become a total introvert and still hasn't gotten laid. I used to see how burned out he was and keep thinking that Shar¡ is going to do the same thing especially since she doesn't have a job and sits around on her ass all of the time.
I found out that Ashley called me not long after I left this morning. That sucked because we were thinking about going to the mall together either yesterday of today but I figured she wouldn't and didn't want to sit around waiting for her all day. there will be plenty of more time for us to hang out later.
I've been thinking a lot about my next response to Shar¡. I told her about the letter I wrote to her on my computer on October 2nd before on the phone. I then mentioned that I decided not to send it yet in my letter the other day. On the phone Thursday night, she asked me how come I didn't send what I had written before. I explained that I got the letter, went to class, and mailed the letter before ever coming home. I did come home for a stamp but that would just have complicated things. She accepted the explanation but still wants the letter. I'll decided after her next letter, or after I talk to her Monday night, whether or not I'll send it. I'll tell her that it's kind of about that weekend I went home and is also kind of deep. I plan on asking her if I'm still allowed to do that, be deep, and see what she says. I will of course mail a new letter, although in a separate envelope, on the same day.
I want to tell her this: I've been thinking a lot about you lately and trying to remember exactly what the attractions were that caused me to fall for you. I wanted to know what happened that made me tell you something that I had never told anybody, or felt about anybody before. I suddenly realized what it was as I was walking to the festival Saturday in the rain. I started remembering how happy I was towards the end of the summer. I was always happy when we were with each other and enjoyed every minute that we spent together. It didn't matter if we were going out at night, or just sitting at your house watching the kids play. Once I remembered that, everything I have been wondering about and questioning lately kind of fell back in to place, maybe not for you but at least for me it did.
Right now I am content. There's no better way for me to say how I feel from day to day about you. I could wait for ever if only I could see even the smallest piece of your heart waiting at the end for me. I really enjoy feeling this way because it seems to give me so much more leisure time and time to study when I'm not looking to hook up with every girl I talk to. I used to put far more work into my relationships with the girls in my classes than into the classes themselves. It's so much easier to get things done when I feel down deep that you are there for me... waiting.
The only thing bad about saying this... which is why I don't know right now whether you'll ever actually read this or not... is that I would hate for you to ever lead me on if your feelings change just to be nice for pathetic little me who is indeed "attached." I dare say too attached.
Well, I bet you didn't remember that we've been together(?) now for three months... Take care.
Well, it's been in between a constant drizzle and a pour all day long today. The Sandfords were up for the day to see a little performance Ed was putting on for an event called the Taste of Homecoming. It's a Greek run event where the major restaurants in Gainesville show off their food and allow you to sample it for a certain number of fifty cent tickets. Of course it was raining. I had gone to the library just to do some recreational reading and then said that I might meet them up there. I looked through an entire stack of Parents magazines and learned some really interesting stuff that would really benefit Shar¡ to know. I was looking at some of the books on the shelves and only wished I had all of the time in the world to read them all.
I then headed downtown to the little festival. By walking, I got to see so many awesome little specialty shops, restaurants, and all of the dance clubs on the way. I saw so many things that you would never notice if you were in a car, or walking at night with Ashley. Gainesville even has an awesome park and courthouse in the middle of town that was very impressive. When I arrived, I found Ed and his family rather quickly. I was talking to Roswitha alone for a few minutes and I noticed that she had yellow green eyes as soon as I saw her. I asked if they were contacts and she said yes. I told her that I hoped I hadn't been that out of it all of those times we've talked together before not to notice a color like that and we laughed. A few minutes later, Ed noticed for the first time and Roswitha piped up and told him that I already realized it really quickly. It was funny and I could imagine Ed wondering why she and I were talking about eye color. Poor Ed.
I was offered a shotgun seat ride home with the Sandfords and gladly accepted. I would have just as readily walked again because I wanted to go into some of those stores, but there will be plenty of days to come. I talked with the Sandfords constantly as usual on the way home and asked about the weather, and if it was like this over the entire state. Mrs. Sandford said that it definitely is and could last all day tomorrow as well. My weekend suddenly became beautiful!!! I hope it poured all over Livestock 4 and ruined the weekend!!! That's awesome. I told Ed about the reasons behind my excitement and he understood. I gloated to Jon about it, too, and found it a deserving punishment for the bitch for ditching her son on his second birthday. But, if she was only going to sit in the RV's and smoke pot and get laid, then, as Ed also pointed out, the rain might give her the advantage.
Chris recently told me that Salem sits around in his apartment always now and just smokes pot. He's become a total introvert and still hasn't gotten laid. I used to see how burned out he was and keep thinking that Shar¡ is going to do the same thing especially since she doesn't have a job and sits around on her ass all of the time.
I found out that Ashley called me not long after I left this morning. That sucked because we were thinking about going to the mall together either yesterday of today but I figured she wouldn't and didn't want to sit around waiting for her all day. there will be plenty of more time for us to hang out later.
I've been thinking a lot about my next response to Shar¡. I told her about the letter I wrote to her on my computer on October 2nd before on the phone. I then mentioned that I decided not to send it yet in my letter the other day. On the phone Thursday night, she asked me how come I didn't send what I had written before. I explained that I got the letter, went to class, and mailed the letter before ever coming home. I did come home for a stamp but that would just have complicated things. She accepted the explanation but still wants the letter. I'll decided after her next letter, or after I talk to her Monday night, whether or not I'll send it. I'll tell her that it's kind of about that weekend I went home and is also kind of deep. I plan on asking her if I'm still allowed to do that, be deep, and see what she says. I will of course mail a new letter, although in a separate envelope, on the same day.
I want to tell her this: I've been thinking a lot about you lately and trying to remember exactly what the attractions were that caused me to fall for you. I wanted to know what happened that made me tell you something that I had never told anybody, or felt about anybody before. I suddenly realized what it was as I was walking to the festival Saturday in the rain. I started remembering how happy I was towards the end of the summer. I was always happy when we were with each other and enjoyed every minute that we spent together. It didn't matter if we were going out at night, or just sitting at your house watching the kids play. Once I remembered that, everything I have been wondering about and questioning lately kind of fell back in to place, maybe not for you but at least for me it did.
Right now I am content. There's no better way for me to say how I feel from day to day about you. I could wait for ever if only I could see even the smallest piece of your heart waiting at the end for me. I really enjoy feeling this way because it seems to give me so much more leisure time and time to study when I'm not looking to hook up with every girl I talk to. I used to put far more work into my relationships with the girls in my classes than into the classes themselves. It's so much easier to get things done when I feel down deep that you are there for me... waiting.
The only thing bad about saying this... which is why I don't know right now whether you'll ever actually read this or not... is that I would hate for you to ever lead me on if your feelings change just to be nice for pathetic little me who is indeed "attached." I dare say too attached.
Well, I bet you didn't remember that we've been together(?) now for three months... Take care.