How the weather works in wonderful ways! Chris was talking to Jon about something and compared it to how miserable you would be if you woke up to a dull, dreary, gray wet day. I thought almost instantly that I really like those kinds of days and the clear crisp sunny days make me miserable. I love humidity... it's the most wonderful thing in the world. It started raining yesterday as I left my psychology exam and it felt really good walking through the rain again. My only concern was my leather bookbag. It made me remember how Shar¡ and I were talking about how we'll both walk comfortably in the rain without running and screaming for cover. I realized that I like wet women!
Well, it's been in between a constant drizzle and a pour all day long today. The Sandfords were up for the day to see a little performance Ed was putting on for an event called the Taste of Homecoming. It's a Greek run event where the major restaurants in Gainesville show off their food and allow you to sample it for a certain number of fifty cent tickets. Of course it was raining. I had gone to the library just to do some recreational reading and then said that I might meet them up there. I looked through an entire stack of Parents magazines and learned some really interesting stuff that would really benefit Shar¡ to know. I was looking at some of the books on the shelves and only wished I had all of the time in the world to read them all.
I then headed downtown to the little festival. By walking, I got to see so many awesome little specialty shops, restaurants, and all of the dance clubs on the way. I saw so many things that you would never notice if you were in a car, or walking at night with Ashley. Gainesville even has an awesome park and courthouse in the middle of town that was very impressive. When I arrived, I found Ed and his family rather quickly. I was talking to Roswitha alone for a few minutes and I noticed that she had yellow green eyes as soon as I saw her. I asked if they were contacts and she said yes. I told her that I hoped I hadn't been that out of it all of those times we've talked together before not to notice a color like that and we laughed. A few minutes later, Ed noticed for the first time and Roswitha piped up and told him that I already realized it really quickly. It was funny and I could imagine Ed wondering why she and I were talking about eye color. Poor Ed.
I was offered a shotgun seat ride home with the Sandfords and gladly accepted. I would have just as readily walked again because I wanted to go into some of those stores, but there will be plenty of days to come. I talked with the Sandfords constantly as usual on the way home and asked about the weather, and if it was like this over the entire state. Mrs. Sandford said that it definitely is and could last all day tomorrow as well. My weekend suddenly became beautiful!!! I hope it poured all over Livestock 4 and ruined the weekend!!! That's awesome. I told Ed about the reasons behind my excitement and he understood. I gloated to Jon about it, too, and found it a deserving punishment for the bitch for ditching her son on his second birthday. But, if she was only going to sit in the RV's and smoke pot and get laid, then, as Ed also pointed out, the rain might give her the advantage.
Chris recently told me that Salem sits around in his apartment always now and just smokes pot. He's become a total introvert and still hasn't gotten laid. I used to see how burned out he was and keep thinking that Shar¡ is going to do the same thing especially since she doesn't have a job and sits around on her ass all of the time.
I found out that Ashley called me not long after I left this morning. That sucked because we were thinking about going to the mall together either yesterday of today but I figured she wouldn't and didn't want to sit around waiting for her all day. there will be plenty of more time for us to hang out later.
I've been thinking a lot about my next response to Shar¡. I told her about the letter I wrote to her on my computer on October 2nd before on the phone. I then mentioned that I decided not to send it yet in my letter the other day. On the phone Thursday night, she asked me how come I didn't send what I had written before. I explained that I got the letter, went to class, and mailed the letter before ever coming home. I did come home for a stamp but that would just have complicated things. She accepted the explanation but still wants the letter. I'll decided after her next letter, or after I talk to her Monday night, whether or not I'll send it. I'll tell her that it's kind of about that weekend I went home and is also kind of deep. I plan on asking her if I'm still allowed to do that, be deep, and see what she says. I will of course mail a new letter, although in a separate envelope, on the same day.
I want to tell her this: I've been thinking a lot about you lately and trying to remember exactly what the attractions were that caused me to fall for you. I wanted to know what happened that made me tell you something that I had never told anybody, or felt about anybody before. I suddenly realized what it was as I was walking to the festival Saturday in the rain. I started remembering how happy I was towards the end of the summer. I was always happy when we were with each other and enjoyed every minute that we spent together. It didn't matter if we were going out at night, or just sitting at your house watching the kids play. Once I remembered that, everything I have been wondering about and questioning lately kind of fell back in to place, maybe not for you but at least for me it did.
Right now I am content. There's no better way for me to say how I feel from day to day about you. I could wait for ever if only I could see even the smallest piece of your heart waiting at the end for me. I really enjoy feeling this way because it seems to give me so much more leisure time and time to study when I'm not looking to hook up with every girl I talk to. I used to put far more work into my relationships with the girls in my classes than into the classes themselves. It's so much easier to get things done when I feel down deep that you are there for me... waiting.
The only thing bad about saying this... which is why I don't know right now whether you'll ever actually read this or not... is that I would hate for you to ever lead me on if your feelings change just to be nice for pathetic little me who is indeed "attached." I dare say too attached.
Well, I bet you didn't remember that we've been together(?) now for three months... Take care.
No comments:
Post a Comment