I think I'm going to fucking cry!!! That no good, worthless, stupid, cunt whore of a girlfriend I have still hasn't gotten a letter to me and I'm getting extremely frustrated and pissed off!!! My sorry little self actually waited at the mailboxes today as the sorted through all of the mail just to see if it had arrived. As the last of my lingering hopes were once again violently smashed, I picked up what was left of myself and managed to live for the rest of the day. No that's not suicidal... It's just a way to emphasize feelings that normally get lost when transferred to paper. My hopes had actually been a little higher today because she said she'd be mailing it back on Thursday. Bitch!!!!! This week had to have been the most wasted worthless one of my life... all because I'm waiting for something that might be gone for good, and not even worth waiting for in the first place. I just wanted a letter so I could carry on with my life. Now I must wait again for two more days until Monday.
My parents are supposed to come up tomorrow and maybe that will be the spark that I need to cause a good week to follow. that would break this seemingly endless rut I have found myself in. I hope tomorrow's a good day. The worse thing about it all, is that this to me is the most important letter because I still feel that it could very well be the make it or break it point in our relationship. Unless she is pregnant which I have exhausted so much in my mind that I am now sick of the very thought and consider the chances of such an event to be extremely minute. I plan on calling the bitch tomorrow morning before my parents get her for only a few minutes. Watch the cunt not be home...
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