Shar¡,
Whew! That's a relief... I'd like to tell you someday what the other horrible truth was that I had thought you might tell me. I had a very strong reason to believe in it, too.
But anyway, I guessed right on your intentions a good three weeks ago and feel that it's the best thing for us to do. For us to even try to make it happen after only knowing each other for a couple of weeks was pretty naive itself, even though it was pretty cute.
After seeing what our nasty little misunderstanding did to us on my trip home, I kind of decided that there was no way we would be able to keep any kind of relationship while I am up here. I knew that probably the only way we'd ever have a chance is if we started everything over again someday down the road. There are definitely a lot of if's in that assumption and it's not something that I'll ever be looking for to happen. If it happens.... it happens, if not... then oh well. I just let things float along after that point and waited to see whether you'd come up with the same assumptions, which you did. I was going to wait to tell you face to face when I went home over Thanksgiving break, remembering you little promise that we would never break up over the phone or via letter.
It's my fault for not telling you the whole side of my story all along. The doubts were there all of the time just because it seemed like I barely knew you. I've always felt a little guilty because you would at least give me an idea about what wasn't working right in your mind between us and I didn't do the same. I always told you the truth, although everything I wrote was edited to be nice because I just didn't want to say anything that might piss you off.
One party... two days... and three shots later,
Only you know what's best for you and what you want out of life right now, and there's no way I can argue with you or hold any of that against you. Thinking back, I am disappointed about how things turned out but there is no real reason for me to hate you over something that couldn't be avoided. That would only show that I didn't ever really care about you, which isn't the case at all. I think I'll always enjoy hearing from you and knowing what's going on. So... I'd like to keep in touch with you and possibly continue to hang out every once in a while when I come around if you don't see any major problems with that.
Well, I'd like to hear from you soon if you can find the time. Cya!
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Actually the letter had a few minor improvements as I copied it off of the screen to as more personal piece of paper. I wrote, "That was a nice three months present!" across the back and sealed the envelope with a peace symbol.
As Jon puts it, "So ends another chapter in your book!" That was really funny and I liked it a lot. As I put it, "So ends my roller coaster ride!" Now I must decide whether to get back in line, or find another ride. Peace.
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