Saturday, July 31, 1993

July 31, 1993 - Saturday - A distance to survive!

Christina called me last night right as I walked in the door and told me that Shar¡ hadn't called her all day, and she hadn't called me either. She knew that I worked until at least seven, though, so no big deal. We called the payphone that we had talked to her from the night before in the lobby. The receptionist said that she's probably already in the unit and gave us another phone number to call. It seemed like fifty people answered the phone before the finally got the right person on it. I didn't let Shar¡ know that I was on the phone at first because Christina was bitching at her for not calling her. I then piped up and asked her why she hadn't called me either. It was funny.

Shar¡ seemed really happy, far too happy. I asked her what's up and she kept saying that she was really glad to talk to us. They also put her on anti depressants which is a bunch of shit, but there's not much you can do about it. She told us all about the schedule that they have to go through from waking up at six in the morning to exercising and eating. She said that it reminds her too much of school. She had to go after a little while because she wanted to finish her cigarette before they closed them off form the outdoors. I was pissed at her for smoking again. I was going to eat and then they were going to call me back again later. Shar¡ and I decided that she'd call me back first so that we could talk alone for a few minutes. When she did, my supper was just finishing getting ready, so I couldn't talk long. Afterwards, I took a brief nap before they called me back.

I had said something to Shar¡ and Christina laughed and said, `This from a guy who was jealous about Scott!,' and then told Shar¡ about our conversation. Shar¡ thought it was really cute that I was worried and said that I had nothing at all to worry about. Christina said that she was the one that had to reassure me, and Shar¡ then told me that I should be entirely reinsured now. I told her that my mom just did that to my car, but I need assurance, not insurance. We all laughed about that. It was funny. We kept talking until their phone lines were cut off at eleven. Shar¡ kept saying that she really wants me to visit her today, and after saying I wanted to as well, she said she'd call me back first today. She just did and gave me the directions to the looney bin. Her visiting hours are from three to four and then from 6:30 to 7:30.

I also have been meeting a ton of girls at Busch Gardens lately. I was on break yesterday from Kumba and a bunch of people were in there. Ron was there and I kept thinking that he'll look at anything I do or say through filtered eyes since he knows about Shar¡. the gorgeous new girl named Stacy was there and she had fallen up at Python and banged her knee. She had gone to first aid and had a bandage put on the cut. I had been out at boardwalk all day long on purpose. The heat felt great and I was having fun talking to the guests and employees with no real responsibilities. I had sweated all over the front of my shirt and shorts. Ron called my name and asked if that was sweat. I said yes as everybody turned their heads and looked, including a cute girl sitting by herself. I thanked him for drawing everybody's attention to it. As I walked out Stacy joked that I smelled and I said, `Fuck you!,' and left. I knew that upset her.

She was supposed to sweep queue houses after her lunch and we met up on the boardwalk at Kumba and ended up walking around together for half an hour. I apologized for being so harsh and she complained that nobody felt bad for her because she got hurt. I told her that I did sympathize with her, but couldn't reveal my emotions in front of the guys. It was a really good excuse! We talked and were having a great time getting to know each other. We were talking about girlfriends and boyfriends and were joking about sex. A good situation arose for me to tell her that I was valedictorian. She already really likes me and sees that I am cute and far better than normal. To find out now that I'm smart just made everything more beautiful. She said that she was extremely proud of me and we continued to talk a lot. When it was time for us to part, she told me to have a good vacation and we hugged goodbye. That was awesome.

As I walked out through the Congo train Station to go home, I ran into this girl named Kristen who had pooled up at the Kumba once. I have also seen her in Vivi's and said hello to her. We always smile at each other and she is really cute. I stopped and talked to her for a few minutes and told her about having ten days off. She asked where I was going, and I told her about our cabin in the mountains, and the river and all. She said that the best vacation of her life was one in South Carolina where they went rafting. We soon said goodbye and I walked out with Sean.

As we got out to the guard station, Jennifer was walking back in. She told me that she forgot her purse and wanted me to walk back in with her. I walked with her to wardrobe in the morning because she needed a nametag and I had to turn one in. She's really cute and I like her a lot. She is a little flat chested and always jokes about it. She's really mean to herself and I don't really see that much of a problem. She said that her boyfriend was waiting to take her home in the truck right behind us and laughed as she told me not to put my arms around her. That gave me more of a reason to do so. It was fun. I told her that I will give her a ride home if he says anything and she admitted that he'll probably want to know why she was walking with that guy again. It's funny. She doesn't like the Kumba but said she would have gone on it with me right then if he wasn't waiting, but promised to go on it after I get back. She said that she would even come in on a day off if needs be.

Shar¡ called me back and we talked for another fifteen minutes a little while ago. I told her that I've decided to possibly come back home that tuesday I take all of my stuff to Gainesville and stay in Tampa as long as possible to see her. She was happy but then we were commenting about the parties and girls I'll be missing out on. I told her that I'd much rather be spending time with her than going to a bunch of stupid parties that I can go to all year long. We were talking about long distance relationships and about what will happen if I meet a girl in Gainesville. I told her that I'll make an extra effort not to meet any girls up there. I then told her that one of my roommates had a girlfriend all year down here at USF and I'll be able to take training and support from him. She liked that.

She called once more at two before I headed over to see her. She was afraid that it would take a long time for me to get there even though it's just a straight shot down Hillsborough Avenue. I left early for her to make sure that I'd get to spend the entire visiting time with her. I was half an hour early so I drove around a little bit and also stopped into Checkers and bought her a champ burger and small fries. I figured I probably wouldn't be able to sneak it in, but I wanted to give it a try.

They ended up taking the bag from me up front. They then took us through a series of locked doors and a metal detector. She had asked me to bring her a book and we decided on Cujo by Stephen King. When we finally made it in they asked us each who we were here to see. I told them Sharice Brown and then looked up to see her standing right there in the visiting room doorway. She looked really good. We went inside and sat down and did some quick catching up. I told her about the Checkers food and she was glad that I at least tried. She told me that she is supposed to get out on Monday and we joked that I could leave the food at the front desk for her until then!

She hadn't been able to shave since she first entered the hospital and her legs are getting rather stubbly. We were joking around about that. She was telling me that even though she wasn't nuts going in, she thinks she'll go insane if she has to be in there much longer. She says it's so boring and weird being around the true crazies. She said once to those baby blue puppy eyes, referring to mine. I made true puppy eyes and actually made her blush. It was really cute and she said that she's going to start calling me Puppy Eyes when she calls!

We held hands as we sat there together. She expressed some of her concerns a little bit trying to find out if I truly am going to stay true to her. Christina was talking before about how Shar¡ won't be ready for another serious relationship for a long time, and she said something to the same effect once a long ways back. I think that the responsibility that she is learning at Baylife and is taking from her father is going to cause a change in that. It seems, hopefully, that she's going to figure out that a commitment, however small, will be the best thing for both her and Cord. I'll just have to wait and see.

We were joking around again about her working for me in my own practice later on in life. She said that it'd be really cool to be so close to me all of the time! We were joking that Christina can be our paramedic and we made up a situation where we'll send her on a call two hundred miles away to get her out of our hair. It was funny.

She adjusted her rings and I jokingly adjusted mine drawing her attention to it. She was pretending that she was going to take it off, but I wouldn't let her. She commented that I'm really attached to the thing and I agreed. She told me that she wants to wear it to make sure that I'll come back to her after my vacation. I told her that I couldn't do that because I want o prove to her that I want to come back to be with her, not just to get back my ring!!! She was very impressed with my point and she laughed that I have a talent for getting out of anything by saying the right things. A few minutes later she tried to be witty, too, and told me that she wants to wear the ring so that she'll think of me every time she sees it. I gave her puppy dog eyes and asked her if that meant that she wouldn't think of me if Shar¡ I don't give her the ring! She laughed as she quickly realized her implications and once again I slipped right by her. It was quite funny. I asked her later about her true feelings on me coming back and she said that she has faith that I will.

We talked quite a bit more and the time just flew by. She said that it seemed to drag on when her dad was there and was amazed at how quickly the time went by. She was stealing me one time about their hectic schedule in the morning. After a while she said that they get to take their first smoking break. I said that must be the highlight of her morning, but she said no. She told me that comes later when she finally gets to call my phone number. That was sweet and she knows how to kiss ass, too! Before long, they kicked all of us visitors out as Shar¡ and I hugged and kissed goodbye. I walked out backwards keeping eye contact with her the whole way until I finally motioned for her to go and she smiled and turned away.

She called me back at 8:30 and we talked for a while. She told me that she's already read about twenty-five pages of Cujo and thinks it's a really good book. She forgot to ask for Puppy Eyes when she called so she made me hang up and let my sister answer the phone again! When I answered I told her that he wasn't here. She laughed and asked if he's not, and I said no, that my eyes have faded since I won't be seeing her for a week. It was sweet. She told me that there is a guy there who I saw who swears he is buying a car and then going swimming tomorrow. He keeps asking Shar¡ if she wants to come along and she just laughs. He asked her today if I am her boyfriend and she told him that you could say that. She then said that it'll get him out of her hair. I pouted and asked if she just said that to get rid of him, and she said not necessarily...

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