Tuesday, February 22, 1994

February 22, 1994 - Monday - Maybe things will work..

Once again I fucking gave in and called the stupid cunt. I don't know why I did but I just couldn't stand putting up with the hurt anymore and wanted to take care of things with her. I called her last night at eleven and she promised to call me back in a little while and she never did. That was an extremely long night that hurt very much.

She said today that she ended up going out at two and had lost her little phone book with the long distance code and couldn't call me and felt bad. She said that she was home all day long today and had hoped that I would call. I told her that I had talked to Chris and Leigh Anne and they all were ragging on me because she didn't call me back and were saying how she must hate me and so on. This was after I had stayed up until four waiting for her call. She sounded like she felt like shit but I told her that I hadn't been worried because she always comes up with a good excuse for everything. I made apparent a a couple of my bitches that I have about her and also collapsed as I told her quite a few of my weaknesses.

I told her how much of an effect she had on me after calling me again, how she made me forget all of the other girls up here. I later asked her what's going to happen over my spring break, whether I'm going to only see her once or twice or what. She first thought I was asking what will happen and she said she doesn't know in a voice hinting at sex. She then said that I'll definitely get to see her more than that. I ended up telling her that I'd be with her every day if it were up to me... but that'd be kind of greedy on my part to which she quickly agreed but then laughed it off as a joke. Cunt.

She still hasn't told me a thing and I made that clear as she said she has to go by saying that once again she is leaving me hanging on my questions to wonder for yet another day. She kept saying whatever but I was perfectly serious.

She was being rather serious about her lifestyle for a little while with me. She said that Cord is sick and has been throwing up everything she's tried giving him. I suggested Pedalyte and she knew what it was and then said that somebody told her Gatorade works the same. I agreed that it's just to keep them from getting dehydrated and for an older kid like Cord, Gatorade would probably be just fine, but there is too much sugar for a little kid. She took the advice well and complimented "Doctor Dan." I then told her how I didn't go today because I was upset over her.

She was talking about the cost of her pot and how she had done a hydroponic today which is twenty bucks a g(ram). I told her no wonder she has no money to call me nd she laughed that he doesn't pay for any of that, it all comes from her friends. Yeah but what does she have to do for it, I asked. She also said that she doesn't pay rent now either, just the food. I asked her how much she gets in food stamps - $203 a month, lucky bitch. I told her about what will happen to her money if Clinton's new welfare plan goes into effect. In two years, the benefits will stop! She asked about people already on it and I explained how they will continue for two years while the government helps you get educated and find a job.

She says that she's been thinking about letting her Aunt take care of Cord for a while as she gets a job and works full time for two months so she can go back to school. I was happy and told her that it's good that she has goals one again and she corrected me saying that she's always had them. Oh yeah... I guess her goals didn't get pushed aside just because I did, stupid me.

She told me at one point that she likes it when I call her because it makes her happy or cheers her up or something like that. That was good to hear and might have been bullshit but oh well.

I think I'll be sleeping a lot better tonight than I did last night at least!!!

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