Shar¡'s letter that she keeps asking about finally arrived today. At first I wondered why she had said that she didn't write me a new one but then realized it was the really old one. She said she had given it to her grandmother to mail and said the other day she would call her to make sure she finally did. The thing is dated February first which is a week before she called me the first time. I was really curious as to what she said back then before everything that has happened to us over the phone since Valentine's Day.
Dan,
Feb. 1, 1994
Hey this is Shari, like you didn't know right. Well this is the first at 2:38 AM in the morning and I am realy wasted. Sorry it took me so long to write but alot of shit has happened since Christmas. Well first of all you know that Craig and I was on bad terms right. Anyway we ended up as friends and every now and then we associate or talk to each other. Well as of today I am moving in to a 2 bed room apt. with my cousin Jimmy and Cord will just share a room with me. The apt. complex has a weight room so I'll be in there everyday after work. I am planing on getting a job at T.G.I. Frydays or CDB's. "oops" "oops" {after two scribbled out mistakes} You can tell I am fucked up right??? My cigarett is burning away........ Anyway I am going to get a job and get my shit together, but um........... Oh!!! I'll get your ring next "oops" {another scribble} time I go over to my Dad's house, if that's all right to you??? If not you can get it next time you come into town. By the way when will that be??? We will be getting a phone soon so I'll write and give you the # when we do. I would have wrote you but a week after you left Craig and I broke up and I didn't know when or where I was going to move. I didn't want to write and then a week later leave, then he would have gotten the mail and not have given it to me. But at this address I will get it. So how is every thing up there and when are you going to transfer?????????????? That would be so cool if you moved to USF so I wouldn't have to look at the picture of you in bed to see you. That is my favorite picture because you look so cute in it. My big baby!!! When I get a job and a babysitter for the weekend I want to come and see ya before you transfer to USF. (right) Well all I can really do is wish¡ for that to come true....... Another cute one is when you are leaning on the cabnet in the kitchen looking at the paper. I'd like to do all this if it's cool with you, or if you want to tell me to get lost because of someone else or because what happened last time that's also cool with me. But hopefully you won't or atleast I can write sexy letters to you and be friends. Guess what???? The weather is so awesome down here, BEACH'N IT starting this Friday. I am going with my x roommate Rob and Cord and probly his roommate now Jason. We are going to have a house warming party, drink some, smoke some, and a little bit of what ever. When you come down for the weekend you can stay at my place one night or even the whole weekend. My cousin is way cool, the only thing you would have to sleep with me in my room on an awesome most comfortable couch. (ah darn) HA! HA! God I want to see you so bad!!!! I am tired of looking at pictures, I want to see the real thing. I want to touch and kiss the real thing. Baby I think about you all the time, and when I do I just go into my room and look at your cute face and fine body in a picture.
!!! Smoke break !!!
It's 2:15 AM now and I can't go to sleep, I wish I could hear your voice. I kinda wish that I wouldn't have lost our baby but then in a way I am glad I did because neither of us is ready for that big a step. Especially not me..... not right yet atleast, I shouldn't have fucked up and left instead of telling you what was realy up. I really didn't know what you would of said or did and I've already had one person left me stranded with a child. Don't get me wrong I love Cord with more than all my heart but also I wish I would have waited for him too. By the way Cord is doing good, I am very proud of him. He is 2 and 3 months old, potty trained, speaks full sentences, and feeds himself. Plus he's a bright intelligent little boy, I'd give the world to him if I could. Anyway it's six cigaretts and 1« hrs. later. I have to get some sleep to put up with the little monster. Please write back A.S.A.P. don't wait as long as I did. Once again I am sorry for waiting so long. Well sweet dreams and goodnight.
P.S. Cord says Hey!!!
Love Allways,
Shar¡ {heart accent}
On the outside of the envelope it said: Had any good choclate lately??? Sealed with a kiss cause a lick wouldn't stick. "Sorry so late," and had a face drawn on it.
Well, her letter ended up being everything I had hoped it would be. She practically was begging for me back and hadn't even talked to me yet.
Last night on the phone she she brought up that she had been thinking about what I had said about buying her a Christmas present. She said that we weren't really talking at Christmas, sure she called me a few times but it hadn't gotten serious. She said that she liked that I had been thinking about her enough even then to buy her something, although she doesn't yet know what it is. I explained how I had been really looking forward to Christmas for a long time to get stuff for her and Cord, but that never happened and then how I was helping everybody else pick out presents for their girlfriends and I felt really left out so I got something for her. I asked her what size she is and she either said six or seven. I asked what that was in words and she said medium. Cool! I guessed right. I kept giving her hints and finally said something like she could find it on page fourteen of the Victoria's Secret catalog. I then joked that she'd run out and look as soon as she could and she said that she definitely would. Of course that page number was arbitrary.
I ended up trying to explain it in a way that would still leave a little bit of mystery to it. I also asked her if she could see know why I didn't want to mail it to her, because I don't want her using lingerie from me with anybody else. She was kind of quiet for a second hopefully because she wouldn't want to use it with anybody else and was surprised I said that. She wanted to know if I was going to give it to her over spring break and I said definitely.
She also was telling me again but in moire detail how Craig had reacted that day when we were all at her dad's house. She said he is an asshole because she told him to get out and come talk to me but he wouldn't because he didn't walk to talk me because she had fucked me! That's pretty damn immature, we both agreed.
Kimmeth called me tonight and we had a great talk for almost two hours about all kinds of stuff.
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