Wednesday, February 16, 1994

February 16, 1994 - Wednesday - Please come back Shar¡!

One point of Shar¡ and my conversation before we really started getting emotional was about whether or not I still planned on coming home. I told her that I don't know and asked her what reasons I have to go down there like I did back at Christmas. She told me slyly that there are lots of reasons but it was too early in our conversation for her to say exactly what. I told her that I'm bored right now wherever I am so it doesn't really matter where I go. She said something about then I would be bored if I came down there and I said it depends on whether or not I have a good reason to move back. She knew what I was hinting at.

I also have optimistically (and naively) been wondering why she has even taken the time to try and come back to me. I wondered if she realized how well I treated her when we were together attention wise because I'm sure that boyfriend of hers couldn't compare. It's funny how I can't remember his name at all. She then realized that it's not my nature to treat everybody like that when she heard how I treat Leigh Anne and I hope she realized how special she is to me. That would be fucking awesome if that's the line of thought she's taken. Come on Shar¡..... I know you can do it!!!

There's a rock song with Shar¡'s name in it and I had heard it back over the summer. It was playing last time we were on the phone and I asked her this time who sings it. She says she doesn't know, maybe Foreigner. I had asked around at the record shops up here along time ago but nobody knew.

I spoke a long time last night with Roswitha about my previous relationship with Shar¡ and showed her some pictures. I also talked with her about Valerie and heard a few of Ed's stories about that big scandal between the three of us. I let her see the picture of Valerie in my lap in St. Augustine that Ed had to take and she laughed long and hard about that one. We talked a lot about relationships and so forth and she likes how we have a thirty day grace period before we can date a roommate's ex.

Leigh Anne has been a real bitch today and even scared me by her threats after I showed everybody the pictures of her from Mardi Gras exposing her tits. I walked past her, Aimee, and Dave on the way to my exam today and I said hi to both of them as they did to me but she was acting all fucked up. She came over just a little while ago and brought a piece offering of two cream filled doughnuts but I'm very afraid to eat them and even "jokingly" accused her of putting cyanide in them. She still keeps asking for another chance and promises I'll be the happiest person in the world. I will always tell her no this time. She even keeps asking for the second part of her birthday present slash Valentine's Day present. It's the magenta silk camisole that I bought for Shar¡ but have used as proof that I got Leigh Anne something. I told her that I'm not going to give it to her now for the same reason I'm not giving it to Shar¡, so they won't use it without me.

I talked with Jon early today about Shar¡ and Leigh Anne and wondered what it is about Shar¡ that makes me so attracted to her even after all that has happened and all of the time that has passed. Jon confirmed my beliefs that it's because of what I think I can offer her and so forth. About Leigh Anne, I told everybody last night that the only reason I ever dated Leigh Anne was to keep my mind of of Shar¡ after we broke up so I wouldn't get all depressed. I even told Shar¡ that last night.

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