Wednesday, September 15, 1993

September 15, 1993 - Wednesday - Anything for love!!!

Today has been a rather delinquently awesome day. I just really had the compulsive urges to make myself happy today. I snapped back into my flirtatious mode yesterday and was so glad when it struck me. It's like a powerful aura of confidence. I walk better, taller, and get this awesome glint in my eyes when I flirt with girls. I always get smiles back and I love it. I was just have been so worried about Shar¡ lately that my mind was ripped away from all of life's sensual pleasures around me. I haven't stopped thinking about Shar¡ at all, I just remembered that being down just isn't healthy.

I went with Ashley to biology this morning and was being my normal bubbly witty self again. She let me read her letter that she had written to Daniel. There were so many parallels to Shar¡ letter about how much she loves him even down to the examples that they both used. It was uncanny. The funniest part was that Ashley hadn't read Shar¡'s letter until after she had written hers. She wanted my reaction if I had received that letter. I told her that it would make me really happy but I can't say because I just don't know how Daniel feels. Ashley and I are both taking the same roles in each of our relationships as the person who wants it most. I just realized that in my case, Shar¡ is probably just as much in it as I am. We each made each other laugh today and feel deeply about our relationships. We walked together to work out afterwards and talked a lot about our relationships in there as well. I told her how Laura and Jana had been surprised that she didn't talk about Daniel to me all of the time and look at her now. She said that she knows and was trying to keep shut up about him this year and I am the only one she has been like this to. She asked me not to tell them that she is talking about him this much again. I said that it isn't good to keep it all shut up and as long as she'll listen to me talk about Shar¡, I'll be more than happy to listen to her. We then agreed that we'll always be there for each other when we need to get through something or just won't talk. It was pretty awesome!

We were joking around about how we keep holding hands. She said that if she gets pregnant she'll claim that it's Dan's. He's Puerto Rican and I laughed as I asked her how she is going to explain the blue eyes and she said that she didn't say which Dan so she wouldn't be lying!!! I left her at eleven when she had a consultation to go to about a fitness test she had last week. I went to Burger King and got a really good American chicken sandwich and an awesome CD. Shar¡ and were slow screwing when this song by Meat Loaf came on called `I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That).' We talked through the entire song and really couldn't figure out what the hell he wouldn't do and I kept laughing. it was an awesome song except for that mystery. Meanwhile she was still riding me the entire time. I later found out that he is saying he'll never let them fall apart by him sleeping around. I really love the song and have personally dubbed it our song. It has a really sentimental value to me because I remember how everything felt as the song played that night!

I waited for days to record it and finally did after requesting it on the radio. The recording was rather bad and disappointing. I came across the new CD today in a record store and had to have it. I have even dubbed the song over Shar¡'s video in her bathroom and it looks really awesome! When I listened to the Cd when I got home, it is a super extended mix that sounds fucking awesome!!!!! It's fucking twelve minutes long!!!!! I loved every second of it and it is worth every penny. the lyrics are also written out word for word and I love that, too! I was having an awesome day.

The only class I went to today was my German civilization and culture one. I really love that class. I was flirting with the girls and talking to Noel. There is this gorgeous one who I'll look at and smile at blatantly. She will almost so the same back. She is gorgeous and looks like she'd have sex with me in a second. I love that. Anyway, we got our exams back today from Friday. It had been an essay exam and seemed pretty hard because it was almost entirely identification and then a longer essay. I ended up scoring 105 percent!!! I was soaring!!! I walked around with Noel for a few minutes after that and we were being pretty perverted looking at all of the girls. What a day.

I just got back from laying out for two hours and now feel presentable if I get to go to Tampa this weekend.

Meanwhile, thoughts of Shar¡ and spending the rest of my life with her are screening constantly through my mind. It's unbelievable what she's done to me!

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