Eddie and I competed in a pool tournament today that was a lot more legitimate that last years. There were about sixteen players initially and they were all pretty decent. Not the sorry little girls who played last year who has maybe touched a que stick twice. I had been downstairs working on my car for a little while and found a message from Roswitha when I got upstairs telling me to hurry and come down.
Ed had already one his first game and I got added in towards the middle of the first round. I was initially supposed to play the organizer of the event first but then the Eric that I have known for a while and saw at Mardi Gras signed up and we got paired off. Holly was there with him which was cool. He was an alright player and we remained evenly matched for a while until my newly acquired skills started kicking in and I finished up by beating him. That was fucking awesome because I beat him in front of Holly who had watched the entire match. Eric split after that and Holly talked to me for a minute later on while I was sitting with Roswitha which was cool and a good ice breaker I hope. Wouldn't Leigh Anne be pissed! Ha! Ha!
I went on to play this guy who was supposedly pretty good but he took a slop shot and I also let him recover from a table foul. The tide turned towards his favor and I started getting pissed that I had been so generous to him at the beginning of the game so I rallied. I didn't even need to finish my last easy shot because he scratched the eight ball. What was cool was my consistency which was better than I had ever been before. I sunk a ball on my first four shot although I scratched on each second one.
Ed lost the second round to some guy who I would be playing next. The guy hit the ball way too hard on a lot of occasions and wasn't really that consistent of a player. Lucky is a lot more like it. Lucky because it just happened that Ed was never given any easy shots and Lucky because he then played generous yet not very skilled me. Our game came down to the eight ball being left alone on the table. He even scratched while sinking his last ball giving an extremely easy shot that I rushed and missed. That was extremely stupid on my part because I should know better by now, but oh well. Ed and I lost to the same guy which is cool and keeps him in his place. I played extremely well against this guy to even tie him until the very end, but I played too nice. I gave over a slop shot that I could have easily lied about even though I think he hadn't earlier. Roswitha told me that I should have just taken it f the other wasn't going to object because I would have won. That only sucks because that was a semifinal game. Damn, but oh well. It was fun which is all that matters and I'm getting much much better.
I called Shar¡ and talked to her for a few minutes yesterday but she was stoned after already smoking five joints since she had waken up. That kind of sucked and I took things a little more negatively than I should have as usual just because she didn't seem too enthusiastic about me. She did ask when I am going to transfer and so forth. I'm just waiting to see what happens over spring break first.
Sunday, February 27, 1994
Friday, February 25, 1994
February 25, 1994 - Friday - An old letter arrives!!!
Shar¡'s letter that she keeps asking about finally arrived today. At first I wondered why she had said that she didn't write me a new one but then realized it was the really old one. She said she had given it to her grandmother to mail and said the other day she would call her to make sure she finally did. The thing is dated February first which is a week before she called me the first time. I was really curious as to what she said back then before everything that has happened to us over the phone since Valentine's Day.
Dan,
Feb. 1, 1994
Hey this is Shari, like you didn't know right. Well this is the first at 2:38 AM in the morning and I am realy wasted. Sorry it took me so long to write but alot of shit has happened since Christmas. Well first of all you know that Craig and I was on bad terms right. Anyway we ended up as friends and every now and then we associate or talk to each other. Well as of today I am moving in to a 2 bed room apt. with my cousin Jimmy and Cord will just share a room with me. The apt. complex has a weight room so I'll be in there everyday after work. I am planing on getting a job at T.G.I. Frydays or CDB's. "oops" "oops" {after two scribbled out mistakes} You can tell I am fucked up right??? My cigarett is burning away........ Anyway I am going to get a job and get my shit together, but um........... Oh!!! I'll get your ring next "oops" {another scribble} time I go over to my Dad's house, if that's all right to you??? If not you can get it next time you come into town. By the way when will that be??? We will be getting a phone soon so I'll write and give you the # when we do. I would have wrote you but a week after you left Craig and I broke up and I didn't know when or where I was going to move. I didn't want to write and then a week later leave, then he would have gotten the mail and not have given it to me. But at this address I will get it. So how is every thing up there and when are you going to transfer?????????????? That would be so cool if you moved to USF so I wouldn't have to look at the picture of you in bed to see you. That is my favorite picture because you look so cute in it. My big baby!!! When I get a job and a babysitter for the weekend I want to come and see ya before you transfer to USF. (right) Well all I can really do is wish¡ for that to come true....... Another cute one is when you are leaning on the cabnet in the kitchen looking at the paper. I'd like to do all this if it's cool with you, or if you want to tell me to get lost because of someone else or because what happened last time that's also cool with me. But hopefully you won't or atleast I can write sexy letters to you and be friends. Guess what???? The weather is so awesome down here, BEACH'N IT starting this Friday. I am going with my x roommate Rob and Cord and probly his roommate now Jason. We are going to have a house warming party, drink some, smoke some, and a little bit of what ever. When you come down for the weekend you can stay at my place one night or even the whole weekend. My cousin is way cool, the only thing you would have to sleep with me in my room on an awesome most comfortable couch. (ah darn) HA! HA! God I want to see you so bad!!!! I am tired of looking at pictures, I want to see the real thing. I want to touch and kiss the real thing. Baby I think about you all the time, and when I do I just go into my room and look at your cute face and fine body in a picture.
!!! Smoke break !!!
It's 2:15 AM now and I can't go to sleep, I wish I could hear your voice. I kinda wish that I wouldn't have lost our baby but then in a way I am glad I did because neither of us is ready for that big a step. Especially not me..... not right yet atleast, I shouldn't have fucked up and left instead of telling you what was realy up. I really didn't know what you would of said or did and I've already had one person left me stranded with a child. Don't get me wrong I love Cord with more than all my heart but also I wish I would have waited for him too. By the way Cord is doing good, I am very proud of him. He is 2 and 3 months old, potty trained, speaks full sentences, and feeds himself. Plus he's a bright intelligent little boy, I'd give the world to him if I could. Anyway it's six cigaretts and 1« hrs. later. I have to get some sleep to put up with the little monster. Please write back A.S.A.P. don't wait as long as I did. Once again I am sorry for waiting so long. Well sweet dreams and goodnight.
P.S. Cord says Hey!!!
Love Allways,
Shar¡ {heart accent}
On the outside of the envelope it said: Had any good choclate lately??? Sealed with a kiss cause a lick wouldn't stick. "Sorry so late," and had a face drawn on it.
Well, her letter ended up being everything I had hoped it would be. She practically was begging for me back and hadn't even talked to me yet.
Last night on the phone she she brought up that she had been thinking about what I had said about buying her a Christmas present. She said that we weren't really talking at Christmas, sure she called me a few times but it hadn't gotten serious. She said that she liked that I had been thinking about her enough even then to buy her something, although she doesn't yet know what it is. I explained how I had been really looking forward to Christmas for a long time to get stuff for her and Cord, but that never happened and then how I was helping everybody else pick out presents for their girlfriends and I felt really left out so I got something for her. I asked her what size she is and she either said six or seven. I asked what that was in words and she said medium. Cool! I guessed right. I kept giving her hints and finally said something like she could find it on page fourteen of the Victoria's Secret catalog. I then joked that she'd run out and look as soon as she could and she said that she definitely would. Of course that page number was arbitrary.
I ended up trying to explain it in a way that would still leave a little bit of mystery to it. I also asked her if she could see know why I didn't want to mail it to her, because I don't want her using lingerie from me with anybody else. She was kind of quiet for a second hopefully because she wouldn't want to use it with anybody else and was surprised I said that. She wanted to know if I was going to give it to her over spring break and I said definitely.
She also was telling me again but in moire detail how Craig had reacted that day when we were all at her dad's house. She said he is an asshole because she told him to get out and come talk to me but he wouldn't because he didn't walk to talk me because she had fucked me! That's pretty damn immature, we both agreed.
Kimmeth called me tonight and we had a great talk for almost two hours about all kinds of stuff.
Dan,
Feb. 1, 1994
Hey this is Shari, like you didn't know right. Well this is the first at 2:38 AM in the morning and I am realy wasted. Sorry it took me so long to write but alot of shit has happened since Christmas. Well first of all you know that Craig and I was on bad terms right. Anyway we ended up as friends and every now and then we associate or talk to each other. Well as of today I am moving in to a 2 bed room apt. with my cousin Jimmy and Cord will just share a room with me. The apt. complex has a weight room so I'll be in there everyday after work. I am planing on getting a job at T.G.I. Frydays or CDB's. "oops" "oops" {after two scribbled out mistakes} You can tell I am fucked up right??? My cigarett is burning away........ Anyway I am going to get a job and get my shit together, but um........... Oh!!! I'll get your ring next "oops" {another scribble} time I go over to my Dad's house, if that's all right to you??? If not you can get it next time you come into town. By the way when will that be??? We will be getting a phone soon so I'll write and give you the # when we do. I would have wrote you but a week after you left Craig and I broke up and I didn't know when or where I was going to move. I didn't want to write and then a week later leave, then he would have gotten the mail and not have given it to me. But at this address I will get it. So how is every thing up there and when are you going to transfer?????????????? That would be so cool if you moved to USF so I wouldn't have to look at the picture of you in bed to see you. That is my favorite picture because you look so cute in it. My big baby!!! When I get a job and a babysitter for the weekend I want to come and see ya before you transfer to USF. (right) Well all I can really do is wish¡ for that to come true....... Another cute one is when you are leaning on the cabnet in the kitchen looking at the paper. I'd like to do all this if it's cool with you, or if you want to tell me to get lost because of someone else or because what happened last time that's also cool with me. But hopefully you won't or atleast I can write sexy letters to you and be friends. Guess what???? The weather is so awesome down here, BEACH'N IT starting this Friday. I am going with my x roommate Rob and Cord and probly his roommate now Jason. We are going to have a house warming party, drink some, smoke some, and a little bit of what ever. When you come down for the weekend you can stay at my place one night or even the whole weekend. My cousin is way cool, the only thing you would have to sleep with me in my room on an awesome most comfortable couch. (ah darn) HA! HA! God I want to see you so bad!!!! I am tired of looking at pictures, I want to see the real thing. I want to touch and kiss the real thing. Baby I think about you all the time, and when I do I just go into my room and look at your cute face and fine body in a picture.
!!! Smoke break !!!
It's 2:15 AM now and I can't go to sleep, I wish I could hear your voice. I kinda wish that I wouldn't have lost our baby but then in a way I am glad I did because neither of us is ready for that big a step. Especially not me..... not right yet atleast, I shouldn't have fucked up and left instead of telling you what was realy up. I really didn't know what you would of said or did and I've already had one person left me stranded with a child. Don't get me wrong I love Cord with more than all my heart but also I wish I would have waited for him too. By the way Cord is doing good, I am very proud of him. He is 2 and 3 months old, potty trained, speaks full sentences, and feeds himself. Plus he's a bright intelligent little boy, I'd give the world to him if I could. Anyway it's six cigaretts and 1« hrs. later. I have to get some sleep to put up with the little monster. Please write back A.S.A.P. don't wait as long as I did. Once again I am sorry for waiting so long. Well sweet dreams and goodnight.
P.S. Cord says Hey!!!
Love Allways,
Shar¡ {heart accent}
On the outside of the envelope it said: Had any good choclate lately??? Sealed with a kiss cause a lick wouldn't stick. "Sorry so late," and had a face drawn on it.
Well, her letter ended up being everything I had hoped it would be. She practically was begging for me back and hadn't even talked to me yet.
Last night on the phone she she brought up that she had been thinking about what I had said about buying her a Christmas present. She said that we weren't really talking at Christmas, sure she called me a few times but it hadn't gotten serious. She said that she liked that I had been thinking about her enough even then to buy her something, although she doesn't yet know what it is. I explained how I had been really looking forward to Christmas for a long time to get stuff for her and Cord, but that never happened and then how I was helping everybody else pick out presents for their girlfriends and I felt really left out so I got something for her. I asked her what size she is and she either said six or seven. I asked what that was in words and she said medium. Cool! I guessed right. I kept giving her hints and finally said something like she could find it on page fourteen of the Victoria's Secret catalog. I then joked that she'd run out and look as soon as she could and she said that she definitely would. Of course that page number was arbitrary.
I ended up trying to explain it in a way that would still leave a little bit of mystery to it. I also asked her if she could see know why I didn't want to mail it to her, because I don't want her using lingerie from me with anybody else. She was kind of quiet for a second hopefully because she wouldn't want to use it with anybody else and was surprised I said that. She wanted to know if I was going to give it to her over spring break and I said definitely.
She also was telling me again but in moire detail how Craig had reacted that day when we were all at her dad's house. She said he is an asshole because she told him to get out and come talk to me but he wouldn't because he didn't walk to talk me because she had fucked me! That's pretty damn immature, we both agreed.
Kimmeth called me tonight and we had a great talk for almost two hours about all kinds of stuff.
Thursday, February 24, 1994
February 24, 1994 - Thursday - Mentally we're there!!!
Things are finalizing beautifully!!!!! Shar¡ is perfect! She is either a perfect bullshitter or the perfect woman. I prefer to think she is the latter. After I finished up my homework tonight at about 12:20 I gave her a call just to say hello and she had just gone downstairs for a minute and I left a message with James. That was perfect because I'd get to see if she'd actually call me back and that would mean she'd be paying for it. I couldn't help but feel anxious so I returned a call from Delisa next door who had called when Kostas was on the phone earlier. She wasn't there and of course Leigh Anne immediately recognized me. She wanted to know why Delisa had called me. Why the hell would I know?! The other line soon beeped and I told her that I had to go because Jon has a call. She asked if it was Shar¡ and I said yes and we got off the phone. Jon told me afterwards that he heard her bawling at about that time next door. Ha ha!
Shar¡ asked if I was talking to my girlfriend and I exclaimed that I don't have one. I also told her that I have been promoting the idea that Leigh Anne quickly get a new boyfriend to get her out of our hair. Shar¡ laughed and asked if we would look for her a boyfriend while we were at it. I told her that most of the people I know are dating someone so she'd just have to settle for me! She asked what I meant by just "settling" for me! I replied by saying that was my discreet way of suggesting myself and she said that she knew.
She told me that I must have ESP because she was just thinking about calling me when she went downstairs to check the mail. I was so fucking estatic because she was actually paying for the call and for me that finalized what she has been saying as true. Spending money for us poor people is a way of nonverbally speaking the truth. I never spent money on Leigh Anne, never called her at home, never would have even really cared for pictures of her. Shar¡ does all of those things which is why I'm really starting to believe her.
I asked her at the end if she had written me a Post It letter yet because that was the only paper she had in the house. She told me that she looked everywhere last night for something to write on but couldn't find anything but getting paper is one of her goals for tomorrow. I joked for her to write on napkins and she sounded perfectly serious when she asked me if I really wanted her to.
She mentioned that she will be going to the beach all next weekend so she will be a lot darker than me when I come down. She is talking about getting a new bathing suit and talked about how I bought the other one for her. Shar¡ likes it but it has a tacky white "belt" across the front. I said that it did at least get me some interesting pictures and she agreed that I did get to see her big white butt. she was talking about how big her butt is, and that it's the biggest part about her. I reassured her that everybody's butt is the biggest part about them and told her that I like hers. She mentioned something to Jimmy in the background once about being too lazy to do something. I said great, all she is is a stoned lazy fat ass!!!, but I quickly corrected myself.
She asked if I think she has gotten fat and I said that I don't know because I haven't seen her since Christmas and perhaps she's Christina's twin now. She laughed about that and said that he would never let herself get like that which pleases me just fine. She also told me how there is a gym downstairs at the complex where she works out. She told me that we can even go work out when I come down and stuff. I told her that we don't have to go down to the gym to work out. She agreed but said that kind of working out usually goes on at night. I added that it can happen in the morning and that it makes a good wake up call and she agreed adding herself that after lunch I sometimes cool, too. I laughed and said that it would be good then just to do it after every meal so the food doesn't turn to fat. She said,"Three times a day!" and I added that we might just brush our teeth every once in a while, too.
Well, for two people that would never talk about such things in the old days, perhaps it was good that our separation occurred thus giving us a way to reapproach our relationship. We already built a lot of the emotional stuff which is cool and probably a lot more long term than having to mix what we are doing now with the act of getting to know someone. I'm really glad of the way this all is turning out!
We were talking a little bit about what we'll be doing when I go down. I reminded her that this is assuming I will have a car. She mumbled something about maybe being able to get a hold of a car so we can do something. She also said if I'll still put up with Christina that she's a means of transportation. She also said that Christina will be expecting to take us out at least once and I said I thought she hated me to which Shar¡ said no. it's just kind of funny that Shar¡ said that because I thought there wasn't any question about it in the first place since it always happened before anyway.
I mentioned that I told my mom about us talking again and she said that she bets my family hates her. I told her not at all and she is actually glad that she doesn't live all the way out in Brandon anymore. She then said that she wants to meet my parents when I am home over my break. I got wide eyed and asked why. She said is just part of the things that need to be done, or something like that. It sounded like she is trying to work her way deep into my life hoping to make sure everything everywhere is as good as I say it is and to grasp onto me as tight as she can. If only she knew that I would be happy with he hr for the rest of my life. I have already reached that conclusion, and I can only hope she will be able to say the same thing.
I told her that she'd have to see my messy house and she said that she doesn't care and I realized that I don't live there anymore so I can't be blamed for it. I also was explaining to her that I never told my parents, or anybody for that matter, anything really bad about her. I did say the only problem was the fact that I could in no way explain to them why we broke up because I didn't want to tell them she had gotten pregnant if it wasn't going to happen any longer. So I kind of left my parents hanging in that respect but oh well.
She asked me once when I am going to send her more pictures. I asked of what and she said so elegantly, "of shit!" I explained that I haven't really taken many other pictures but I will show her the rest when I come down. I told her that a lot are of girls at Mardi Gras and she said that she doesn't have any interest in those. I said that I remember because of her reaction to Chris' pornographic lesbian cards and she laughed about that.
That spurred a memory of her trip up here and she was saying how funny it was when she first came in the room and how she saw the dozen roses taped up on the wall but it didn't really register that they were for her because she didn't see a card or anything. She said that she felt really embarrassed because she didn't catch on and I told her that she shouldn't have been. I then told her how I had gone to work out with Ashley that morning and thought long and hard about what to get her. She asked if she comes up again if she will get another dozen and I said no, what good is it to get repetitious and take the meaning out the others. She agreed and then I said that the surprise would have to be different, even better. She really agreed to that and I suddenly realized my error and told her not to because ill have to go through all of the stress of picking out something again.
She was talking about Cord and how big he is getting. We talked about that for a while and I asked if she has taken any pictures. That child would have hardly any if it weren't for me! She said no, that she needs to get film, and find her camera. I asked her if she wants me to bring mine down and she said of course. I asked why and she said so we can take pictures of us doing everything. I liked hearing her say "us". I then asked her why I would want new pictures of her because when I show them to everybody, they will ask me if that isn't the girl who dumped me. She told me that I can tell them that this is the girl who realized that she can't live without me and came begging back to me!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe my ears! Something like Leigh Anne so often would allege coming from the mouth of the only woman in the world I want to hear it from, Shar¡!!! Damn I'm happy!!!
I was so amazingly happy with our conversation. Ed called once while I was on the phone and asked if I'd like to come downstairs and play pool sometime. I said yes and told Shar¡ and we talked about pool for a while. I was just glad to make it sound like I am doing stuff. I played rather well against Ed and he made the comment that my strokes aren't smooth enough. I was in a really good mood and it suddenly dawned on me after I beat him three times that I hold the end of the stick to loosely. I practiced three games with a tighter grip and was kicking ass making shots I so often dream of making. It was beautiful!!! It will be awesome if I can hone this newfound ability before I challenge my Goddess.
Shar¡ asked if I was talking to my girlfriend and I exclaimed that I don't have one. I also told her that I have been promoting the idea that Leigh Anne quickly get a new boyfriend to get her out of our hair. Shar¡ laughed and asked if we would look for her a boyfriend while we were at it. I told her that most of the people I know are dating someone so she'd just have to settle for me! She asked what I meant by just "settling" for me! I replied by saying that was my discreet way of suggesting myself and she said that she knew.
She told me that I must have ESP because she was just thinking about calling me when she went downstairs to check the mail. I was so fucking estatic because she was actually paying for the call and for me that finalized what she has been saying as true. Spending money for us poor people is a way of nonverbally speaking the truth. I never spent money on Leigh Anne, never called her at home, never would have even really cared for pictures of her. Shar¡ does all of those things which is why I'm really starting to believe her.
I asked her at the end if she had written me a Post It letter yet because that was the only paper she had in the house. She told me that she looked everywhere last night for something to write on but couldn't find anything but getting paper is one of her goals for tomorrow. I joked for her to write on napkins and she sounded perfectly serious when she asked me if I really wanted her to.
She mentioned that she will be going to the beach all next weekend so she will be a lot darker than me when I come down. She is talking about getting a new bathing suit and talked about how I bought the other one for her. Shar¡ likes it but it has a tacky white "belt" across the front. I said that it did at least get me some interesting pictures and she agreed that I did get to see her big white butt. she was talking about how big her butt is, and that it's the biggest part about her. I reassured her that everybody's butt is the biggest part about them and told her that I like hers. She mentioned something to Jimmy in the background once about being too lazy to do something. I said great, all she is is a stoned lazy fat ass!!!, but I quickly corrected myself.
She asked if I think she has gotten fat and I said that I don't know because I haven't seen her since Christmas and perhaps she's Christina's twin now. She laughed about that and said that he would never let herself get like that which pleases me just fine. She also told me how there is a gym downstairs at the complex where she works out. She told me that we can even go work out when I come down and stuff. I told her that we don't have to go down to the gym to work out. She agreed but said that kind of working out usually goes on at night. I added that it can happen in the morning and that it makes a good wake up call and she agreed adding herself that after lunch I sometimes cool, too. I laughed and said that it would be good then just to do it after every meal so the food doesn't turn to fat. She said,"Three times a day!" and I added that we might just brush our teeth every once in a while, too.
Well, for two people that would never talk about such things in the old days, perhaps it was good that our separation occurred thus giving us a way to reapproach our relationship. We already built a lot of the emotional stuff which is cool and probably a lot more long term than having to mix what we are doing now with the act of getting to know someone. I'm really glad of the way this all is turning out!
We were talking a little bit about what we'll be doing when I go down. I reminded her that this is assuming I will have a car. She mumbled something about maybe being able to get a hold of a car so we can do something. She also said if I'll still put up with Christina that she's a means of transportation. She also said that Christina will be expecting to take us out at least once and I said I thought she hated me to which Shar¡ said no. it's just kind of funny that Shar¡ said that because I thought there wasn't any question about it in the first place since it always happened before anyway.
I mentioned that I told my mom about us talking again and she said that she bets my family hates her. I told her not at all and she is actually glad that she doesn't live all the way out in Brandon anymore. She then said that she wants to meet my parents when I am home over my break. I got wide eyed and asked why. She said is just part of the things that need to be done, or something like that. It sounded like she is trying to work her way deep into my life hoping to make sure everything everywhere is as good as I say it is and to grasp onto me as tight as she can. If only she knew that I would be happy with he hr for the rest of my life. I have already reached that conclusion, and I can only hope she will be able to say the same thing.
I told her that she'd have to see my messy house and she said that she doesn't care and I realized that I don't live there anymore so I can't be blamed for it. I also was explaining to her that I never told my parents, or anybody for that matter, anything really bad about her. I did say the only problem was the fact that I could in no way explain to them why we broke up because I didn't want to tell them she had gotten pregnant if it wasn't going to happen any longer. So I kind of left my parents hanging in that respect but oh well.
She asked me once when I am going to send her more pictures. I asked of what and she said so elegantly, "of shit!" I explained that I haven't really taken many other pictures but I will show her the rest when I come down. I told her that a lot are of girls at Mardi Gras and she said that she doesn't have any interest in those. I said that I remember because of her reaction to Chris' pornographic lesbian cards and she laughed about that.
That spurred a memory of her trip up here and she was saying how funny it was when she first came in the room and how she saw the dozen roses taped up on the wall but it didn't really register that they were for her because she didn't see a card or anything. She said that she felt really embarrassed because she didn't catch on and I told her that she shouldn't have been. I then told her how I had gone to work out with Ashley that morning and thought long and hard about what to get her. She asked if she comes up again if she will get another dozen and I said no, what good is it to get repetitious and take the meaning out the others. She agreed and then I said that the surprise would have to be different, even better. She really agreed to that and I suddenly realized my error and told her not to because ill have to go through all of the stress of picking out something again.
She was talking about Cord and how big he is getting. We talked about that for a while and I asked if she has taken any pictures. That child would have hardly any if it weren't for me! She said no, that she needs to get film, and find her camera. I asked her if she wants me to bring mine down and she said of course. I asked why and she said so we can take pictures of us doing everything. I liked hearing her say "us". I then asked her why I would want new pictures of her because when I show them to everybody, they will ask me if that isn't the girl who dumped me. She told me that I can tell them that this is the girl who realized that she can't live without me and came begging back to me!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe my ears! Something like Leigh Anne so often would allege coming from the mouth of the only woman in the world I want to hear it from, Shar¡!!! Damn I'm happy!!!
I was so amazingly happy with our conversation. Ed called once while I was on the phone and asked if I'd like to come downstairs and play pool sometime. I said yes and told Shar¡ and we talked about pool for a while. I was just glad to make it sound like I am doing stuff. I played rather well against Ed and he made the comment that my strokes aren't smooth enough. I was in a really good mood and it suddenly dawned on me after I beat him three times that I hold the end of the stick to loosely. I practiced three games with a tighter grip and was kicking ass making shots I so often dream of making. It was beautiful!!! It will be awesome if I can hone this newfound ability before I challenge my Goddess.
Wednesday, February 23, 1994
February 23, 1994 - Wednesday - Getting much closer!!!
Shar¡ and I had the phone call of the year last night. I had told Leigh Anne that I didn't want to do anything with her so she ran off to Jason's house like she always so readily does. Heaven forbid she miss a moment that something might be going on. I think she'd die if she weren't with a guy every night. What a whore, but I'll deal with that later if I get bored. She came over when she got home even though I had asked her not to. She wanted to show me some stuff she bought at this huge media store. One was a book about everything men know about women. I asked her if the pages were blank before she even opened it and kind of ruined the joke. She also bought some bullshit book with over two thousand date ideas so I can't use the excuse that I don't have any ideas of what to do. She never caught on that I didn't want to spend time with her, I always have ideas.
Chris was on the phone with Marty well after midnight and had sung to her because today is her birthday. Leigh Anne wished her well and then I wished her a VERY happy birthday. Marty said something that Chris wouldn't repeat so it definitely was a little more friendly than he would like her to be towards me. The other night when I was depressed, she asked to talk to me and told me not to worry because she'll be back soon to cheer me up! Chris freaked out but I told him all she meant was that the fact that she makes it back to Jacksonville safe and sound will cheer me up. Good cover up, huh?
I heard him click over to the other line at 12:30 since he was out talking in the hallway and he was kind of confused and seemed torn. I figured it was Karen or something for Jon but when out and checked anyway. It was Shar¡!!!!! She called after all and CHris was stumbling because he was in an important conversation with MArty but knew how much a phone call from Shar¡ would mean to me. He told her I'd call her back in a few minutes. Fool! He's supposed to tell her to call back, but oh well. I waited until 12:40. Leigh Anne was kind of pissed because I was calling Shar¡ but I don't care.
And then the beauty began... I had said most of the things that I had wanted to say to her all along over the past five months last week but last night we got to all of the obscure and more controversial ones. It was awesome how well things worked out!!! She was having a really good time talking to me and mentioned once how much she likes talking to me. We were talking once and she suddenly, exasperatedly, asked me how come I always know how to say the right things at the right times. I obviously was making a wonderful impression by some of the other compliments we exchanged and she once again was falling for my overpowering charm. I was the one that broke the ice by complimenting her through hints. She picked up on it the first time and asked what I meant just to be sure and I told her that was my little way of telling her (how wonderful she is) or something like that. She seemed to like it.
We then both got pathetic. She told me that she likes to look at my pictures a lot and even has one put up on her bedroom wall!!!!!!! She asked me if I remember which one she really liked of me. I asked if it was the one of me holding Cord's hand walking along the beach. She said that he really likes that one, too, but she's talking about a newer one. I kind of doubted it was the Mardi Gras picture and then remembered the one of me in bed from the time she was in Gainesville. She said that's the one and said that I look really cute in it. That is a damn good picture of me and now I'm so very glad she took it that morning. I confessed that I had blown up the pool picture of her like we had always talked about. When I told her when I did it she realized it was before she first called and said that I had been thinking about her before she called and I said yes. I think she liked that.
I brought up my ring at one point and finally told her how Buffy said she couldn't find it. This was after she said that she had visited her dad's house yesterday. She said that was bullshit because Buffy always said she had it in her jewelry box and said that she would find out for me. I was really glad to get that out in the open. SHe asked me again if I had ever gotten her letter that her Grandmother was supposed to mail for her. I said no and she said that sucks because she'll have to rewrite it. I wonder what it said that was that important.
We then started talking about her being pregnant. I had mentioned how it has been almost five months since I've seen her in a good capacity. She then said that I saw her at Christmas and I brought up my birthday. She kind of laughed and said that must have been quite a birthday present. She claims that she really didn't want me to leave that night. That's cool because it makes some of the responses I thought I saw at the end seem more believable. But Christina had wanted to go somewhere, I reminded her.
Our then conversation got cut off by another call from Leigh Anne I think. It had also gotten intermingled with what was going o happen to us now. She suddenly got serious and said that she should have told me what was going on when she called instead of stopping her calls to me. I swore she was talking about the past two weeks and was saying that we got out of hand and she's not looking for a relationship right now. My heart dropped into my stomach as I asked her if that's what happened, and that I thought so. I really thought she meant over the weekend when she didn't call me back like planned and I was hurt. It suddenly clicked that she was talking about how she stopped calling me when she found out she was pregnant. I told her my mistake and she and I both laughed (mine was a laugh of great relief)!!! Damn that was scary!
She then reconfirmed what she had said. She then was telling me how she then went back and read one of the letters I had written her about that weekend. She told me that I said something like how I realized the chances we were taking by having unprotected sex and was willing to take the risk with her. She said that after reading that, she felt like a total asshole for what she had done to me.....
September 7, 1993.... There's one thing I'm a little "curious" about. On Friday when we had first gone to bed I kept wondering if you were going to make me use a condom. I don't like to but I always have. That's why I waited letting you put me in you so that it would be your decision. I was willing to take any risk with you as long as you were doing the same. I guess "curious" wasn't really the word I was looking for, the whole thing was just a thought that had crossed my mind.
I think the original intentions were more stilted towards disease than pregnancy, but what the hell! I also used to think that paragraph was one of the more controversial that I sometimes regretted including in my letters, but now I'm so fucking glad I did!!!
I kind of admitted that I was more upset to find out that she had been pregnant and no longer was, than when I first thought I found out she was pregnant. I retold her the story of how I discovered that she was pregnant because I had remembered the day her period stopped on the phone and things matched up and put her most fertile day right in the middle of our weekend. I then told her the excuse I had wanted to say forever because she had one time asked me why I didn't say anything. I told her that's not the kind of thing the guy usually figures out first and brings up to the girl and we laughed kind of hard about that and she agreed that it's usually the girl.
She then repeated what I had said about being more upset that she had lost it and asked if I really would have wanted it. She said that she doesn't know because one is kind of enough right now. I lied as I agreed that it probably wouldn't have been good for us. I did say how I would have gotten out of school at the beginning of may just about the time it would be squirting out!!! She really liked the term "squirting" and we laughed about that.
Conversation turned to Cord. I asked her how he was doing at the very onset of the conversation and she told me that she ended up taking him to the emergency room today. They gave him a suppository and gave her one to put in today and she really wasn't looking forward to that. They said he has an ear infection and the common flu. They tested to see if he would throw up after being given the suppository and fortunately he didn't. If he had, they would have had to hook him up to an IV and she was very serious as she said it would be very hard to see Cord like that.
She also asked at the beginning if I could take her into the hospital where I volunteer if she came up to see me. I was kind of shocked and said that would actually involve her coming up and she said maybe so but it wouldn't be until after spring break. I said of course because I would probably be able to sneak her in without anyone noticing and if they did, so what, it probably wouldn't be a big deal at all. I could extremely easily bullshit my way out of it.
She then was telling me again how I had a different attitude about Cord than any other guy she had dated. She said they would all usually try to get her to dump Cord off on her mom or with a babysitter when they went out. She said that I never even asked that once and that really impressed her. She said that we did have our nights alone (except the big baby, Christina, was always there!) but I never complained about having to bring Cord along. I truthfully never thought of doing so any other way but I can see how Cord might be a burden for a guy just out to have sex... I just always hope that she doesn't come back to me more for Cord's benefit than hers, but I don't think she'd do that.
She asked me at one point what questions I was wondering about the other night. I was amazed that she had actually heard and remembered what I had said and I suddenly realized that she probably absorbs much more than I've given her credit for lately. For she has remembered a lot about our time together and she doesn't have a journal to remind her of us. I guess I forgot who I was dealing with. I just asked what will happen over the break again and she said that she figured we'd go to the beach like the old days and start as friends and go from there. I cringed as she said the "f" word and she laughed and said that we're definitely friends and I suddenly agreed that what she had said was hardly bad.
I was talking about moving back at one point and wa saying how much easier the decision would be if I had somebody there waiting for me. She cutely said that maybe I do and I acted all surprised and excited and asked if Christina really wants me! She laughed hard. I then asked if I know this person and she said that she kind of looks like her, but not really. She ended up sticking her foot in her mouth and digging a hole she couldn't climb out of because she's just not as talented as me in logical confusion and we had a good laugh about that. It was cute though that she was trying to play the game that I've pulled on her on various occasion.
As it was nearing time for me to go neither one of us wanted to get off the phone, especially her. She told me that she has a really strong urge to be with me right now and we regretted not being able to arrange it. You could really tell as we tried to hang up because we always have a problem because neither of us ever want to be the one to hang up on the other. It's funny and I had almost forgotten how we used to do that until just the other night and again last night. It's actually kind of cute.
FUCK SHE'S AWESOME!!!!!
Chris was on the phone with Marty well after midnight and had sung to her because today is her birthday. Leigh Anne wished her well and then I wished her a VERY happy birthday. Marty said something that Chris wouldn't repeat so it definitely was a little more friendly than he would like her to be towards me. The other night when I was depressed, she asked to talk to me and told me not to worry because she'll be back soon to cheer me up! Chris freaked out but I told him all she meant was that the fact that she makes it back to Jacksonville safe and sound will cheer me up. Good cover up, huh?
I heard him click over to the other line at 12:30 since he was out talking in the hallway and he was kind of confused and seemed torn. I figured it was Karen or something for Jon but when out and checked anyway. It was Shar¡!!!!! She called after all and CHris was stumbling because he was in an important conversation with MArty but knew how much a phone call from Shar¡ would mean to me. He told her I'd call her back in a few minutes. Fool! He's supposed to tell her to call back, but oh well. I waited until 12:40. Leigh Anne was kind of pissed because I was calling Shar¡ but I don't care.
And then the beauty began... I had said most of the things that I had wanted to say to her all along over the past five months last week but last night we got to all of the obscure and more controversial ones. It was awesome how well things worked out!!! She was having a really good time talking to me and mentioned once how much she likes talking to me. We were talking once and she suddenly, exasperatedly, asked me how come I always know how to say the right things at the right times. I obviously was making a wonderful impression by some of the other compliments we exchanged and she once again was falling for my overpowering charm. I was the one that broke the ice by complimenting her through hints. She picked up on it the first time and asked what I meant just to be sure and I told her that was my little way of telling her (how wonderful she is) or something like that. She seemed to like it.
We then both got pathetic. She told me that she likes to look at my pictures a lot and even has one put up on her bedroom wall!!!!!!! She asked me if I remember which one she really liked of me. I asked if it was the one of me holding Cord's hand walking along the beach. She said that he really likes that one, too, but she's talking about a newer one. I kind of doubted it was the Mardi Gras picture and then remembered the one of me in bed from the time she was in Gainesville. She said that's the one and said that I look really cute in it. That is a damn good picture of me and now I'm so very glad she took it that morning. I confessed that I had blown up the pool picture of her like we had always talked about. When I told her when I did it she realized it was before she first called and said that I had been thinking about her before she called and I said yes. I think she liked that.
I brought up my ring at one point and finally told her how Buffy said she couldn't find it. This was after she said that she had visited her dad's house yesterday. She said that was bullshit because Buffy always said she had it in her jewelry box and said that she would find out for me. I was really glad to get that out in the open. SHe asked me again if I had ever gotten her letter that her Grandmother was supposed to mail for her. I said no and she said that sucks because she'll have to rewrite it. I wonder what it said that was that important.
We then started talking about her being pregnant. I had mentioned how it has been almost five months since I've seen her in a good capacity. She then said that I saw her at Christmas and I brought up my birthday. She kind of laughed and said that must have been quite a birthday present. She claims that she really didn't want me to leave that night. That's cool because it makes some of the responses I thought I saw at the end seem more believable. But Christina had wanted to go somewhere, I reminded her.
Our then conversation got cut off by another call from Leigh Anne I think. It had also gotten intermingled with what was going o happen to us now. She suddenly got serious and said that she should have told me what was going on when she called instead of stopping her calls to me. I swore she was talking about the past two weeks and was saying that we got out of hand and she's not looking for a relationship right now. My heart dropped into my stomach as I asked her if that's what happened, and that I thought so. I really thought she meant over the weekend when she didn't call me back like planned and I was hurt. It suddenly clicked that she was talking about how she stopped calling me when she found out she was pregnant. I told her my mistake and she and I both laughed (mine was a laugh of great relief)!!! Damn that was scary!
She then reconfirmed what she had said. She then was telling me how she then went back and read one of the letters I had written her about that weekend. She told me that I said something like how I realized the chances we were taking by having unprotected sex and was willing to take the risk with her. She said that after reading that, she felt like a total asshole for what she had done to me.....
September 7, 1993.... There's one thing I'm a little "curious" about. On Friday when we had first gone to bed I kept wondering if you were going to make me use a condom. I don't like to but I always have. That's why I waited letting you put me in you so that it would be your decision. I was willing to take any risk with you as long as you were doing the same. I guess "curious" wasn't really the word I was looking for, the whole thing was just a thought that had crossed my mind.
I think the original intentions were more stilted towards disease than pregnancy, but what the hell! I also used to think that paragraph was one of the more controversial that I sometimes regretted including in my letters, but now I'm so fucking glad I did!!!
I kind of admitted that I was more upset to find out that she had been pregnant and no longer was, than when I first thought I found out she was pregnant. I retold her the story of how I discovered that she was pregnant because I had remembered the day her period stopped on the phone and things matched up and put her most fertile day right in the middle of our weekend. I then told her the excuse I had wanted to say forever because she had one time asked me why I didn't say anything. I told her that's not the kind of thing the guy usually figures out first and brings up to the girl and we laughed kind of hard about that and she agreed that it's usually the girl.
She then repeated what I had said about being more upset that she had lost it and asked if I really would have wanted it. She said that she doesn't know because one is kind of enough right now. I lied as I agreed that it probably wouldn't have been good for us. I did say how I would have gotten out of school at the beginning of may just about the time it would be squirting out!!! She really liked the term "squirting" and we laughed about that.
Conversation turned to Cord. I asked her how he was doing at the very onset of the conversation and she told me that she ended up taking him to the emergency room today. They gave him a suppository and gave her one to put in today and she really wasn't looking forward to that. They said he has an ear infection and the common flu. They tested to see if he would throw up after being given the suppository and fortunately he didn't. If he had, they would have had to hook him up to an IV and she was very serious as she said it would be very hard to see Cord like that.
She also asked at the beginning if I could take her into the hospital where I volunteer if she came up to see me. I was kind of shocked and said that would actually involve her coming up and she said maybe so but it wouldn't be until after spring break. I said of course because I would probably be able to sneak her in without anyone noticing and if they did, so what, it probably wouldn't be a big deal at all. I could extremely easily bullshit my way out of it.
She then was telling me again how I had a different attitude about Cord than any other guy she had dated. She said they would all usually try to get her to dump Cord off on her mom or with a babysitter when they went out. She said that I never even asked that once and that really impressed her. She said that we did have our nights alone (except the big baby, Christina, was always there!) but I never complained about having to bring Cord along. I truthfully never thought of doing so any other way but I can see how Cord might be a burden for a guy just out to have sex... I just always hope that she doesn't come back to me more for Cord's benefit than hers, but I don't think she'd do that.
She asked me at one point what questions I was wondering about the other night. I was amazed that she had actually heard and remembered what I had said and I suddenly realized that she probably absorbs much more than I've given her credit for lately. For she has remembered a lot about our time together and she doesn't have a journal to remind her of us. I guess I forgot who I was dealing with. I just asked what will happen over the break again and she said that she figured we'd go to the beach like the old days and start as friends and go from there. I cringed as she said the "f" word and she laughed and said that we're definitely friends and I suddenly agreed that what she had said was hardly bad.
I was talking about moving back at one point and wa saying how much easier the decision would be if I had somebody there waiting for me. She cutely said that maybe I do and I acted all surprised and excited and asked if Christina really wants me! She laughed hard. I then asked if I know this person and she said that she kind of looks like her, but not really. She ended up sticking her foot in her mouth and digging a hole she couldn't climb out of because she's just not as talented as me in logical confusion and we had a good laugh about that. It was cute though that she was trying to play the game that I've pulled on her on various occasion.
As it was nearing time for me to go neither one of us wanted to get off the phone, especially her. She told me that she has a really strong urge to be with me right now and we regretted not being able to arrange it. You could really tell as we tried to hang up because we always have a problem because neither of us ever want to be the one to hang up on the other. It's funny and I had almost forgotten how we used to do that until just the other night and again last night. It's actually kind of cute.
FUCK SHE'S AWESOME!!!!!
Tuesday, February 22, 1994
February 22, 1994 - Monday - Maybe things will work..
Once again I fucking gave in and called the stupid cunt. I don't know why I did but I just couldn't stand putting up with the hurt anymore and wanted to take care of things with her. I called her last night at eleven and she promised to call me back in a little while and she never did. That was an extremely long night that hurt very much.
She said today that she ended up going out at two and had lost her little phone book with the long distance code and couldn't call me and felt bad. She said that she was home all day long today and had hoped that I would call. I told her that I had talked to Chris and Leigh Anne and they all were ragging on me because she didn't call me back and were saying how she must hate me and so on. This was after I had stayed up until four waiting for her call. She sounded like she felt like shit but I told her that I hadn't been worried because she always comes up with a good excuse for everything. I made apparent a a couple of my bitches that I have about her and also collapsed as I told her quite a few of my weaknesses.
I told her how much of an effect she had on me after calling me again, how she made me forget all of the other girls up here. I later asked her what's going to happen over my spring break, whether I'm going to only see her once or twice or what. She first thought I was asking what will happen and she said she doesn't know in a voice hinting at sex. She then said that I'll definitely get to see her more than that. I ended up telling her that I'd be with her every day if it were up to me... but that'd be kind of greedy on my part to which she quickly agreed but then laughed it off as a joke. Cunt.
She still hasn't told me a thing and I made that clear as she said she has to go by saying that once again she is leaving me hanging on my questions to wonder for yet another day. She kept saying whatever but I was perfectly serious.
She was being rather serious about her lifestyle for a little while with me. She said that Cord is sick and has been throwing up everything she's tried giving him. I suggested Pedalyte and she knew what it was and then said that somebody told her Gatorade works the same. I agreed that it's just to keep them from getting dehydrated and for an older kid like Cord, Gatorade would probably be just fine, but there is too much sugar for a little kid. She took the advice well and complimented "Doctor Dan." I then told her how I didn't go today because I was upset over her.
She was talking about the cost of her pot and how she had done a hydroponic today which is twenty bucks a g(ram). I told her no wonder she has no money to call me nd she laughed that he doesn't pay for any of that, it all comes from her friends. Yeah but what does she have to do for it, I asked. She also said that she doesn't pay rent now either, just the food. I asked her how much she gets in food stamps - $203 a month, lucky bitch. I told her about what will happen to her money if Clinton's new welfare plan goes into effect. In two years, the benefits will stop! She asked about people already on it and I explained how they will continue for two years while the government helps you get educated and find a job.
She says that she's been thinking about letting her Aunt take care of Cord for a while as she gets a job and works full time for two months so she can go back to school. I was happy and told her that it's good that she has goals one again and she corrected me saying that she's always had them. Oh yeah... I guess her goals didn't get pushed aside just because I did, stupid me.
She told me at one point that she likes it when I call her because it makes her happy or cheers her up or something like that. That was good to hear and might have been bullshit but oh well.
I think I'll be sleeping a lot better tonight than I did last night at least!!!
She said today that she ended up going out at two and had lost her little phone book with the long distance code and couldn't call me and felt bad. She said that she was home all day long today and had hoped that I would call. I told her that I had talked to Chris and Leigh Anne and they all were ragging on me because she didn't call me back and were saying how she must hate me and so on. This was after I had stayed up until four waiting for her call. She sounded like she felt like shit but I told her that I hadn't been worried because she always comes up with a good excuse for everything. I made apparent a a couple of my bitches that I have about her and also collapsed as I told her quite a few of my weaknesses.
I told her how much of an effect she had on me after calling me again, how she made me forget all of the other girls up here. I later asked her what's going to happen over my spring break, whether I'm going to only see her once or twice or what. She first thought I was asking what will happen and she said she doesn't know in a voice hinting at sex. She then said that I'll definitely get to see her more than that. I ended up telling her that I'd be with her every day if it were up to me... but that'd be kind of greedy on my part to which she quickly agreed but then laughed it off as a joke. Cunt.
She still hasn't told me a thing and I made that clear as she said she has to go by saying that once again she is leaving me hanging on my questions to wonder for yet another day. She kept saying whatever but I was perfectly serious.
She was being rather serious about her lifestyle for a little while with me. She said that Cord is sick and has been throwing up everything she's tried giving him. I suggested Pedalyte and she knew what it was and then said that somebody told her Gatorade works the same. I agreed that it's just to keep them from getting dehydrated and for an older kid like Cord, Gatorade would probably be just fine, but there is too much sugar for a little kid. She took the advice well and complimented "Doctor Dan." I then told her how I didn't go today because I was upset over her.
She was talking about the cost of her pot and how she had done a hydroponic today which is twenty bucks a g(ram). I told her no wonder she has no money to call me nd she laughed that he doesn't pay for any of that, it all comes from her friends. Yeah but what does she have to do for it, I asked. She also said that she doesn't pay rent now either, just the food. I asked her how much she gets in food stamps - $203 a month, lucky bitch. I told her about what will happen to her money if Clinton's new welfare plan goes into effect. In two years, the benefits will stop! She asked about people already on it and I explained how they will continue for two years while the government helps you get educated and find a job.
She says that she's been thinking about letting her Aunt take care of Cord for a while as she gets a job and works full time for two months so she can go back to school. I was happy and told her that it's good that she has goals one again and she corrected me saying that she's always had them. Oh yeah... I guess her goals didn't get pushed aside just because I did, stupid me.
She told me at one point that she likes it when I call her because it makes her happy or cheers her up or something like that. That was good to hear and might have been bullshit but oh well.
I think I'll be sleeping a lot better tonight than I did last night at least!!!
Friday, February 18, 1994
February 18, 1994 - Friday - Just waiting and waiting
I can't help myself!!! I don't know what it is about Shar¡ but she drives me fucking insane!!! Just hearing her voice again after all this time and then the confirmations that we gave each other has completely turned me into a madman. I have waited ever so impatiently since our talk on Tuesday with the faintest hope that she would call me eventually. I knew it would take a bit of time for my letter to get there if she had indeed given me the right address and her response would probably come after that.
I tried to lie down tonight after Chris and I had just been talking about Marty and Shar¡. He told me how they seem to have ESP and always call each other at perfect moments and often say the same things. I recalled instantly how Shar¡ and I used to always do that as well and it made memories of her start gushing out. Chris then left to do his laundry and I tried to lie down. I was extremely restless. I suddenly gave in and ran into the other room and called. She answered. I told her it was me and she said that he knows in an extremely cute voice. She said that she got my letter today and it was sweet but she had just ripped out a coupon and was going to pick up a pizza for dinner and had to go. We agreed to call one another sometime tomorrow.....
I tried to lie down tonight after Chris and I had just been talking about Marty and Shar¡. He told me how they seem to have ESP and always call each other at perfect moments and often say the same things. I recalled instantly how Shar¡ and I used to always do that as well and it made memories of her start gushing out. Chris then left to do his laundry and I tried to lie down. I was extremely restless. I suddenly gave in and ran into the other room and called. She answered. I told her it was me and she said that he knows in an extremely cute voice. She said that she got my letter today and it was sweet but she had just ripped out a coupon and was going to pick up a pizza for dinner and had to go. We agreed to call one another sometime tomorrow.....
Wednesday, February 16, 1994
February 16, 1994 - Wednesday - Please come back Shar¡!
One point of Shar¡ and my conversation before we really started getting emotional was about whether or not I still planned on coming home. I told her that I don't know and asked her what reasons I have to go down there like I did back at Christmas. She told me slyly that there are lots of reasons but it was too early in our conversation for her to say exactly what. I told her that I'm bored right now wherever I am so it doesn't really matter where I go. She said something about then I would be bored if I came down there and I said it depends on whether or not I have a good reason to move back. She knew what I was hinting at.
I also have optimistically (and naively) been wondering why she has even taken the time to try and come back to me. I wondered if she realized how well I treated her when we were together attention wise because I'm sure that boyfriend of hers couldn't compare. It's funny how I can't remember his name at all. She then realized that it's not my nature to treat everybody like that when she heard how I treat Leigh Anne and I hope she realized how special she is to me. That would be fucking awesome if that's the line of thought she's taken. Come on Shar¡..... I know you can do it!!!
There's a rock song with Shar¡'s name in it and I had heard it back over the summer. It was playing last time we were on the phone and I asked her this time who sings it. She says she doesn't know, maybe Foreigner. I had asked around at the record shops up here along time ago but nobody knew.
I spoke a long time last night with Roswitha about my previous relationship with Shar¡ and showed her some pictures. I also talked with her about Valerie and heard a few of Ed's stories about that big scandal between the three of us. I let her see the picture of Valerie in my lap in St. Augustine that Ed had to take and she laughed long and hard about that one. We talked a lot about relationships and so forth and she likes how we have a thirty day grace period before we can date a roommate's ex.
Leigh Anne has been a real bitch today and even scared me by her threats after I showed everybody the pictures of her from Mardi Gras exposing her tits. I walked past her, Aimee, and Dave on the way to my exam today and I said hi to both of them as they did to me but she was acting all fucked up. She came over just a little while ago and brought a piece offering of two cream filled doughnuts but I'm very afraid to eat them and even "jokingly" accused her of putting cyanide in them. She still keeps asking for another chance and promises I'll be the happiest person in the world. I will always tell her no this time. She even keeps asking for the second part of her birthday present slash Valentine's Day present. It's the magenta silk camisole that I bought for Shar¡ but have used as proof that I got Leigh Anne something. I told her that I'm not going to give it to her now for the same reason I'm not giving it to Shar¡, so they won't use it without me.
I talked with Jon early today about Shar¡ and Leigh Anne and wondered what it is about Shar¡ that makes me so attracted to her even after all that has happened and all of the time that has passed. Jon confirmed my beliefs that it's because of what I think I can offer her and so forth. About Leigh Anne, I told everybody last night that the only reason I ever dated Leigh Anne was to keep my mind of of Shar¡ after we broke up so I wouldn't get all depressed. I even told Shar¡ that last night.
I also have optimistically (and naively) been wondering why she has even taken the time to try and come back to me. I wondered if she realized how well I treated her when we were together attention wise because I'm sure that boyfriend of hers couldn't compare. It's funny how I can't remember his name at all. She then realized that it's not my nature to treat everybody like that when she heard how I treat Leigh Anne and I hope she realized how special she is to me. That would be fucking awesome if that's the line of thought she's taken. Come on Shar¡..... I know you can do it!!!
There's a rock song with Shar¡'s name in it and I had heard it back over the summer. It was playing last time we were on the phone and I asked her this time who sings it. She says she doesn't know, maybe Foreigner. I had asked around at the record shops up here along time ago but nobody knew.
I spoke a long time last night with Roswitha about my previous relationship with Shar¡ and showed her some pictures. I also talked with her about Valerie and heard a few of Ed's stories about that big scandal between the three of us. I let her see the picture of Valerie in my lap in St. Augustine that Ed had to take and she laughed long and hard about that one. We talked a lot about relationships and so forth and she likes how we have a thirty day grace period before we can date a roommate's ex.
Leigh Anne has been a real bitch today and even scared me by her threats after I showed everybody the pictures of her from Mardi Gras exposing her tits. I walked past her, Aimee, and Dave on the way to my exam today and I said hi to both of them as they did to me but she was acting all fucked up. She came over just a little while ago and brought a piece offering of two cream filled doughnuts but I'm very afraid to eat them and even "jokingly" accused her of putting cyanide in them. She still keeps asking for another chance and promises I'll be the happiest person in the world. I will always tell her no this time. She even keeps asking for the second part of her birthday present slash Valentine's Day present. It's the magenta silk camisole that I bought for Shar¡ but have used as proof that I got Leigh Anne something. I told her that I'm not going to give it to her now for the same reason I'm not giving it to Shar¡, so they won't use it without me.
I talked with Jon early today about Shar¡ and Leigh Anne and wondered what it is about Shar¡ that makes me so attracted to her even after all that has happened and all of the time that has passed. Jon confirmed my beliefs that it's because of what I think I can offer her and so forth. About Leigh Anne, I told everybody last night that the only reason I ever dated Leigh Anne was to keep my mind of of Shar¡ after we broke up so I wouldn't get all depressed. I even told Shar¡ that last night.