How about some excerpts from the most wonderful and emotional phone call Shar¡ and I have ever had!!! It was so great as I later told Ashley because I essentially told and asked Shar¡ everything that has been building up in my head for the past three months and I felt so awesome and relieved after doing so:
Who was in the car?
Craig - {first time she has ever acknowledged him to me...}
I wasn't sure if it was him, just wondered...
I told him to go talk to you because you're still my friend and he pouted and wouldn't do it.
{laughed and made fun of him}
He bitched about the pictures, said he'd go home and throw away all of the ones of his ex-wife if she threw away these. She said a strong no! Why are you letting a guy take pictures of you naked anyway.
You weren't naked.
I just didn't have any clothes on.
Yeah, that one of you in a sheet was pretty revealing, my dad liked that one!
You let your dad see them!!!
Yes!
What about the one of me bending over?
I kind of edited that one.. I covered your ass, and the one with the flowers.
Craig: you should just go back out with him, he's a stud
I heard you live in a dump with cardboard windows!!! {laugh}
They're not cardboard... Aluminum foil!
My bad!!!!... My bad!!! {laughing hard}
It is a dump and I'm moving out after I get a job, with or without Craig. He's said that maybe I should find somebody else...
Are you still moving to Tampa anytime soon, or is that out of the picture.
I have no reason to move back anymore... you were the only reason I was going to come back. Now I don't have any reason
YEs you do.
What?
Id still like to see you every once in a while.You can see me when I come down every once in a while!
No.
You mean you won't see me?! NO I mean I want to see you more than that!
{Big smile} But it won't be like it was supposed to be.
Maybe not. I do want you to come back.
{suddenly...STRONG WILL!!!}
Are you pregnant?
No!!! Did I look it?
I didn't really look, but do you remember our last talk at Thanksgiving?
Yes... I went to the emergency room and they told me I had miscarried ............................................................
That's a shame....
....Would you have wanted it?
yes!
would you have taken me back even after what I did
What did you do?
Dumped you for no reason except that I was pregnant...
IS that the reason
Yes
I would take you back, I guess I'm dumb.
You're not dumb.
You made me happy for two months and I thank you for that! {pause}
you made me happy, too.
That was a cheap answer
cheap?! why?
It just sounded like you were saying it because you had to.
That's not true I really was happy.
Ted- I can cook really good
Ted can cook great, Craig can't cook anything but frozen food
He can cook, I need a roommate!
If you move up to Gainesville and go to college, Dan needs a roommate!
No, I mean if I come back out by USF.
Oh he says out by USF...
You're a trip! {Strong laugh}
Thank you, I think {laugh}
So are you, remember, an emotional roller coaster!
Yeah!
I joked with someone in Gainesville that my ride was over, and I have to wait in line again!
{She laughed and repeated it}
I told her about Leigh Anne, about how I dumped her after what she told me. I knew I didn't want to spend along time with her, didn't want to waste time anymore.
You caused me a lot of stress...
You actually can be funny sometimes!
I sure can!
It just depends on whether it's a bad funny or a good funny!
It's always a good funny!
I don't think so!!!
{both Laugh}
I beg to differ!!!! {laugh}
{laugh} You beg to differ....
So you are moving back to Tampa!!!
What?
So you are moving back?
Why?
You said you needed a roommate and all,
Maybe , should I?
I think you should.
Don't forget, I'll always take you back.
Softly... I miss being around you
You do?!? {Slight laugh}
If I didn't I wouldn't be calling you as much as I do
I'm really glad you called, do it again soon.
I will!
Wednesday, December 29, 1993
Tuesday, December 28, 1993
December 28, 1993 - Tuesday - Run in w/ Shar¡!, Laura!
Life is cool. Life sucks. And playing God is fun.
Heh heh, heh heh, heh heh!
Shar¡ called me last night at midnight just as I had settled down for a long winter's nap. Mother answered and came and got me. The voice was a little heavy and I was expecting Leigh Anne after an earlier call, but instead it was Shar¡! She was at a pool bar somewhere which is why she could call and we talked for just a few minutes. She asked when I would be going back to school and when I told her not until Sunday she got all happy that she still has a week to get together with me. She asked if I'd like to do something like come down and shoot pool, maybe on Friday night and I said yes, of course. She then told me that I'll be surprised when I see her because she looks a lot different, "as white as a ghost" as she put it. SHe said she' shave to talk to Christina about it but thinks she'll agree because she likes me, and we laughed.
I told her about the pictures I had developed and she said she'd really like to see them. She then told me how she visited the family for Christmas and got a bunch of toys and clothes for Cord and how her dad had given her fifty dollars. She asked about mine and I told her I worked and had just gotten home when she called the other night. She thought that sucked. She had to go before long and she said that she'd call me sometime soon, maybe today.
I had called Buffy earlier in the day and asked when a good time to come and pick up my ring would be. She agreed that this afternoon would be cool but to give her a call before I come over. We then talked about Shar¡ for a while. She said that she hasn't talked to her since I'd called last time but Chad, Shar¡'s brother, has. He said that Shar¡ looks like shit right now and her face is all broken out. He said that they live in a real shithole trailer with cardboard over the broken windows. She said he saw Cord running around in very few clothes in the freezing cold and that pissed Buffy off because she had given Shar¡ a bunch of stuff for him. I told her how Shar¡ has been trying to call me and we talked for a few minutes on Christmas and Buffy said that even though Shar¡ is supposedly "dedicated" to this guy, how come she keeps calling everybody else? She also told me that Shar¡ just got out of the hospital for both a liver and kidney infection. She also complained about how Ernie gave Shar¡ money for food and we both know where that's going to go... and she mentioned a desire to call HRS on Shar¡ as well which I fully support.
I talked to mother later and she told me that a liver infection usually means hepatitis!!! I also was talking with her about all of my girlfriends and why I liked Shar¡ so much. I realized that I am a creative person that likes to make things and Shar¡ was the perfect raw material after attempting suicide. I wanted to mold and influence her into the perfect girlfriend and was doing damn well until I left. I am always going to regret having to leave her. She was getting goals and actually was starting to carry them through. It was all so perfect for a while.
I arrived at Busch Gardens early this morning and waited a while to get a spot in the public parking lot. I was at the fountain by the main entrance a little before ten and waited for Laura. I even ran inside once and looked around in the shop before going back out. at 10:17 I saw her and was glad she wasn't very late, for she did tell me she probably would be but she impressed me. I very easily could have taken her not showing up after some of the abuse I've let myself go through in the past year. We headed in and then went straight for the rides.
I then headed over to Buffy's house to find this cute little note on the door.
I pulled away from the house pissed off and suddenly wondering how I was going to explain any of this to my parents. I was pissed at Shar¡ and figured she wouldn't call me anymore since she knew I was supposed to try and get my ring today and would find out, if she had indeed taken it. I got around the corner only to look into the passing car as I always do and saw Shar¡ wave at me. I had just been thinking earlier how I had never driven out to her house before without the full intentions of seeing her, and I also was wondering how I could find out where this guys trailer is and what car he drives. Well two wishes were suddenly fulfilled. He was in an old white Trans Am with a red stripe. I pulled around the corner and headed back to Buffy's house.
There were a lot of funny things, though. Buffy had said that Shar¡ hasn't talked to her since I last called her, so why the hell is Shar¡ all of the sudden stopping by to see her. I also had told Shar¡ last night that I was going over, but later on, and I was there kind of early. I wonder if she was trying to get there before me. It's also an amazing coincidence that I even saw her because it happened at the last second as they drove by and all I saw were the hands and then went on the hunch. The timing had to be perfect for us to run into each other like that. I also realized how close Shar¡ came to finding the note before I did, which might have been better now that I think about it. I also wonder now if the guy driving the car is just one of her roommates, as she calls them, or Craig. I also thought it might be her older brother for a second but I really don't think so.
I drove up behind them as she was trying to ring on the doorbell and I told her where Buffy was. She came and asked what's up and then said that they were going to get gas and come back. I left too and ran by Ashley's house but she wasn't home. I then went back and waited in the driveway and before long Shar¡ returned and the guy parked right behind me, blocking me in. That actually scared me a little bit and I got my knife ready and had a quick way out of the situation straight through the yard. After a little while, Shar¡ finally got out of her car and came up to my window again to start talking to me. I had just pulled out the pictures and was sorting through the ones she could see. She got excited when she saw that and wanted to look at them.
Shar¡ herself did look really bad. I have never seen her wear shitty clothes before but she was doing so. She was in these soft shorts that one would wear pregnant if her jean shorts didn't fit her anymore, but I couldn't really tell anything at all. Her face was all broken out, and my mother later told me your face breaks out and you lose some weight when you get pregnant! Great. But it happens by smoking pot every day, too. She had Cord come out too and he looked puny just because I haven't seen him in so long. I also noticed the necklace stilled tied around her neck that I gave her, and I think I remember the bracelet still being there as well. That was cool.
She looked at the pictures of her and laughed at some of them really hard. She wanted to see the ones of me as well and went through those. She pulled out this one of me lying in bed after I just woke up and told me that it looks really good. She realized what a fucking stupid face she was making in this one with the stickers on her nipples and also laughed about the one where she was running downstairs for a smoke break. She asked if there were any more and I showed her the two of us playing pool and she really liked the one of her in her black zipper outfit and thinks it was the best of them all. I agreed and said that I think the one of her in a sheet is really cute, too. She then said something about not being able to get the black shorts on anymore because she's getting too fat and we both looked at each other and laughed. That was really weird and I realized soon after that it might have been another pregnancy hint!!!
She took the pictures back to the guy in the car and told him in a somewhat singy voice to look at "me and Dan!" That kind of made me curious as well, and made me wonder if it was really Craig in the car. If I were a girls boyfriend and she did what I was doing right then, I would have kicked her ass. She's showing him pictures of her in her underwear, plus the ones of me. When she came back she asked if she gets too keep them and I asked if she wanted them all. She said yes, including the ones of me. I asked whys he wants them, and if she still has the others. She said definitely and that she still looks at them every once in a while. It might sound too overconfident but she might have said all of the time, I can't quite remember.
She then asked me if I was going to throw away the ones of her and I said no, that I always keep crap like that and smiled really big and she laughed and said, "Crap, huh?!" and smiled as she pretended to whap me with the pictures in her hand. I wish now that I would have told her that I always like to remember the things that make me happy... She then grabbed the two pool pictures from between my legs that I had taken out of my album for her.
I then asked her if she has been in the hospital lately and she looked at me with a very surprised look and asked me how I knew! I smiled and wouldn't tell her but said that I knew it was for both kidney and liver infections. She agreed and then I asked her if she knew that a liver infection is just a nice name for hepatitis. She argued that it's not because hepatitis kills you and I used my dad as an example. She then admitted that she's supposed to go back in for blood tests really soon to see if it is either an early of late stage of hepatitis that she has. I then fed her some scary bull about it being a dangerous disease and how it can come back at any time once you have it. She believes me because I'm supposed to become a doctor and I love it. I then called her a walking venereal disease and she said that I'm probably glad that I'm rid of her now that I know this...
We talked a little while longer and she asked how I did in my classes and I told her how she made me fail biology by not letting me study that weekend. She said it wasn't really her fault but I told her that she makes a damn good excuse for my parents and anybody else who asks. She thought that was just great. We talked a little longer before I told her that I was going to split before long. She agreed and went back to her car about five minutes later. I wanted her to come back up for a second so I could tell her I work Friday night and also to write me if I don't see her again over the break, but oh well. I kind of chased them out of Bloomingdale West before we made our parting ways.
Shar¡ :
Are you pregnant?
Who was the guy in the car?
Heh heh, heh heh, heh heh!
Shar¡ called me last night at midnight just as I had settled down for a long winter's nap. Mother answered and came and got me. The voice was a little heavy and I was expecting Leigh Anne after an earlier call, but instead it was Shar¡! She was at a pool bar somewhere which is why she could call and we talked for just a few minutes. She asked when I would be going back to school and when I told her not until Sunday she got all happy that she still has a week to get together with me. She asked if I'd like to do something like come down and shoot pool, maybe on Friday night and I said yes, of course. She then told me that I'll be surprised when I see her because she looks a lot different, "as white as a ghost" as she put it. SHe said she' shave to talk to Christina about it but thinks she'll agree because she likes me, and we laughed.
I told her about the pictures I had developed and she said she'd really like to see them. She then told me how she visited the family for Christmas and got a bunch of toys and clothes for Cord and how her dad had given her fifty dollars. She asked about mine and I told her I worked and had just gotten home when she called the other night. She thought that sucked. She had to go before long and she said that she'd call me sometime soon, maybe today.
I had called Buffy earlier in the day and asked when a good time to come and pick up my ring would be. She agreed that this afternoon would be cool but to give her a call before I come over. We then talked about Shar¡ for a while. She said that she hasn't talked to her since I'd called last time but Chad, Shar¡'s brother, has. He said that Shar¡ looks like shit right now and her face is all broken out. He said that they live in a real shithole trailer with cardboard over the broken windows. She said he saw Cord running around in very few clothes in the freezing cold and that pissed Buffy off because she had given Shar¡ a bunch of stuff for him. I told her how Shar¡ has been trying to call me and we talked for a few minutes on Christmas and Buffy said that even though Shar¡ is supposedly "dedicated" to this guy, how come she keeps calling everybody else? She also told me that Shar¡ just got out of the hospital for both a liver and kidney infection. She also complained about how Ernie gave Shar¡ money for food and we both know where that's going to go... and she mentioned a desire to call HRS on Shar¡ as well which I fully support.
I talked to mother later and she told me that a liver infection usually means hepatitis!!! I also was talking with her about all of my girlfriends and why I liked Shar¡ so much. I realized that I am a creative person that likes to make things and Shar¡ was the perfect raw material after attempting suicide. I wanted to mold and influence her into the perfect girlfriend and was doing damn well until I left. I am always going to regret having to leave her. She was getting goals and actually was starting to carry them through. It was all so perfect for a while.
I arrived at Busch Gardens early this morning and waited a while to get a spot in the public parking lot. I was at the fountain by the main entrance a little before ten and waited for Laura. I even ran inside once and looked around in the shop before going back out. at 10:17 I saw her and was glad she wasn't very late, for she did tell me she probably would be but she impressed me. I very easily could have taken her not showing up after some of the abuse I've let myself go through in the past year. We headed in and then went straight for the rides.
I then headed over to Buffy's house to find this cute little note on the door.
I pulled away from the house pissed off and suddenly wondering how I was going to explain any of this to my parents. I was pissed at Shar¡ and figured she wouldn't call me anymore since she knew I was supposed to try and get my ring today and would find out, if she had indeed taken it. I got around the corner only to look into the passing car as I always do and saw Shar¡ wave at me. I had just been thinking earlier how I had never driven out to her house before without the full intentions of seeing her, and I also was wondering how I could find out where this guys trailer is and what car he drives. Well two wishes were suddenly fulfilled. He was in an old white Trans Am with a red stripe. I pulled around the corner and headed back to Buffy's house.
There were a lot of funny things, though. Buffy had said that Shar¡ hasn't talked to her since I last called her, so why the hell is Shar¡ all of the sudden stopping by to see her. I also had told Shar¡ last night that I was going over, but later on, and I was there kind of early. I wonder if she was trying to get there before me. It's also an amazing coincidence that I even saw her because it happened at the last second as they drove by and all I saw were the hands and then went on the hunch. The timing had to be perfect for us to run into each other like that. I also realized how close Shar¡ came to finding the note before I did, which might have been better now that I think about it. I also wonder now if the guy driving the car is just one of her roommates, as she calls them, or Craig. I also thought it might be her older brother for a second but I really don't think so.
I drove up behind them as she was trying to ring on the doorbell and I told her where Buffy was. She came and asked what's up and then said that they were going to get gas and come back. I left too and ran by Ashley's house but she wasn't home. I then went back and waited in the driveway and before long Shar¡ returned and the guy parked right behind me, blocking me in. That actually scared me a little bit and I got my knife ready and had a quick way out of the situation straight through the yard. After a little while, Shar¡ finally got out of her car and came up to my window again to start talking to me. I had just pulled out the pictures and was sorting through the ones she could see. She got excited when she saw that and wanted to look at them.
Shar¡ herself did look really bad. I have never seen her wear shitty clothes before but she was doing so. She was in these soft shorts that one would wear pregnant if her jean shorts didn't fit her anymore, but I couldn't really tell anything at all. Her face was all broken out, and my mother later told me your face breaks out and you lose some weight when you get pregnant! Great. But it happens by smoking pot every day, too. She had Cord come out too and he looked puny just because I haven't seen him in so long. I also noticed the necklace stilled tied around her neck that I gave her, and I think I remember the bracelet still being there as well. That was cool.
She looked at the pictures of her and laughed at some of them really hard. She wanted to see the ones of me as well and went through those. She pulled out this one of me lying in bed after I just woke up and told me that it looks really good. She realized what a fucking stupid face she was making in this one with the stickers on her nipples and also laughed about the one where she was running downstairs for a smoke break. She asked if there were any more and I showed her the two of us playing pool and she really liked the one of her in her black zipper outfit and thinks it was the best of them all. I agreed and said that I think the one of her in a sheet is really cute, too. She then said something about not being able to get the black shorts on anymore because she's getting too fat and we both looked at each other and laughed. That was really weird and I realized soon after that it might have been another pregnancy hint!!!
She took the pictures back to the guy in the car and told him in a somewhat singy voice to look at "me and Dan!" That kind of made me curious as well, and made me wonder if it was really Craig in the car. If I were a girls boyfriend and she did what I was doing right then, I would have kicked her ass. She's showing him pictures of her in her underwear, plus the ones of me. When she came back she asked if she gets too keep them and I asked if she wanted them all. She said yes, including the ones of me. I asked whys he wants them, and if she still has the others. She said definitely and that she still looks at them every once in a while. It might sound too overconfident but she might have said all of the time, I can't quite remember.
She then asked me if I was going to throw away the ones of her and I said no, that I always keep crap like that and smiled really big and she laughed and said, "Crap, huh?!" and smiled as she pretended to whap me with the pictures in her hand. I wish now that I would have told her that I always like to remember the things that make me happy... She then grabbed the two pool pictures from between my legs that I had taken out of my album for her.
I then asked her if she has been in the hospital lately and she looked at me with a very surprised look and asked me how I knew! I smiled and wouldn't tell her but said that I knew it was for both kidney and liver infections. She agreed and then I asked her if she knew that a liver infection is just a nice name for hepatitis. She argued that it's not because hepatitis kills you and I used my dad as an example. She then admitted that she's supposed to go back in for blood tests really soon to see if it is either an early of late stage of hepatitis that she has. I then fed her some scary bull about it being a dangerous disease and how it can come back at any time once you have it. She believes me because I'm supposed to become a doctor and I love it. I then called her a walking venereal disease and she said that I'm probably glad that I'm rid of her now that I know this...
We talked a little while longer and she asked how I did in my classes and I told her how she made me fail biology by not letting me study that weekend. She said it wasn't really her fault but I told her that she makes a damn good excuse for my parents and anybody else who asks. She thought that was just great. We talked a little longer before I told her that I was going to split before long. She agreed and went back to her car about five minutes later. I wanted her to come back up for a second so I could tell her I work Friday night and also to write me if I don't see her again over the break, but oh well. I kind of chased them out of Bloomingdale West before we made our parting ways.
Shar¡ :
Are you pregnant?
Who was the guy in the car?
Saturday, December 25, 1993
December 25, 1993 - Saturday - Shari's pictures, Shari!
Merry Christmas!!! Well, things worked out rather good today in the woman department. I had memorable rendezvous with at least four of the things throughout the day.
I woke up around eight thirty this morning and quickly helped the girls wake up mother so we could get things going. I didn't have all day because I had to be at work at noon. I took lots of pictures of Cathleen opening presents and soon ran out of film. That happened to be the same roll that Shar¡ and I used back in September when she came up for the weekend and I was kind of excited about finally being able to get them developed. I looked through last Sunday's newspaper to see if Eckerds was running a half price sale and indeed they were, and they were open today! So I ran over there at ten so I could pick them up an hour later before I went to work. I ended up dropping off copies of the Christmas pictures before heading off to Busch Gardens.
I spoke briefly with this food service girl named Kelly as I walked into Crown Colony. She's the one that Rich likes and whose house he was eating Christmas dinner at with an invitation from her parents. I soon found out that there had been some major call ins and started work early. Mark is this Italian guy who is really funny and I tried to match some of his joking today and was doing a pretty good job. There's this ugly girl in food service named Shari and it scared me a couple of times when people would say or call her name until I figured out what was going on. I thought I was going nuts for a second. Mark was joking with her that I like her and I was playing along that I like her right in front of the girl. I then was saying about all of the things I could do with the two gallon tubs of whipped cream they have in the back. It was funny and he and I joked around all day long.
I then got the balls to go talk to this nice looking long haired girl in food service who was finally exposed out at the cash register. We started talking and she has an awesome country accent and I fell in love immediately. She was awesome until I saw the engagement and wedding rings!!! Shit! That really sucked and I went and pouted to everybody.
I then got a lovely little phone call at the bar from Sarah over in the Stanleyville train station. We talked for about fifteen minutes before I told her I had to go so I didn't look too bad in front of the guests or supervisors for that matter. I did get her number and promised to call her back. We ended up talking back and forth all day long and decided to meet up after work at a gift shop in the front. I walked around impatiently for her until she finally showed and she didn't look at all like I had remembered. She definitely looks a lot better with a tan and sun bleached hair but who cares about being choosy... We met up with this girl named Destiny that was taking her home and hugged before realizing we were walking the same way. I had also put my earring in to show off and she noticed. It seemed like an effective encounter, although really quick.
I came home to an empty house and called out to Mema's where they all were. I then waited for them to bring home the leftovers from Christmas dinner. I had my Christmas dinner at work today which consisted of a lot of fresh carved turkey, stuffing, yams, corn, a roll, a drink and carrot cake. It was just like the meal I had on Thanksgiving day except this time it was free for the employees! That was cool. Claus and I got our lunches at the same time so we could take the long walk to where they were serving it.
At about a quarter to ten I answered the telephone and we all figured it would be Mema checking to make sure they got home. There was the same pause that she always does but then a girls voice said hello. I instantly thought it was Sarah. It wasn't until almost a whole sentence later that I realized it was Shar¡!!!!! SHe joked that she was just trying to be nice and call to say Merry Christmas and stuff and I as mean and asked her if that's not very easy for her to do. She then said that she has tried to call me a couple of times but I was at work. We only talked for a second because I actually told her I was getting my food ready to eat and I actually didn't drop everything and talk to Shar¡!!! What the hell am I thinking??!??
After I put my food in to cook the phone rang again and father ran deviously to answer it and joked that she didn't give me very long to eat. It was Ashley!!!! I was rather surprised by the call on Christmas but was extremely glad. She was very hoarse and asked if I knew who it was even after I seemed to recognize her voice from the very first instance, which I did. We both seemed rather glad to be talking to each other and we both had a lot to say. She told me about her brief weekend with Daniel and I then let her know who I talked to for the first time just a few minutes before she called. It was funny.
She wants me to stop by and see her the day I go and get my ring which is really cool. I then told her that my only day off is Tuesday and I'm planning on going with Laura to Busch on that day, and told her how she came by to say hello the other day. Ashley thought that was sweet of hr and then confessed that she hasn't talked to Laura since she dropped her off Thursday afternoon even though she lives just two minutes away! I told her I need to call her soon and she said to tell her hello and that she loves her. I then said no and told her that I'll tell her that I... and then realized what the hell I was saying and Ashley caught on really well. It was funny and Ashley seemed to actually push the idea rather than criticize me. That was some nice encouragement in a meaningless way. Maybe Laura likes me because they had to have talked about the idea... everybody talks...
Well, if Shar¡ could see some of the pictures I have of her now, she would shit!!!!!
I woke up around eight thirty this morning and quickly helped the girls wake up mother so we could get things going. I didn't have all day because I had to be at work at noon. I took lots of pictures of Cathleen opening presents and soon ran out of film. That happened to be the same roll that Shar¡ and I used back in September when she came up for the weekend and I was kind of excited about finally being able to get them developed. I looked through last Sunday's newspaper to see if Eckerds was running a half price sale and indeed they were, and they were open today! So I ran over there at ten so I could pick them up an hour later before I went to work. I ended up dropping off copies of the Christmas pictures before heading off to Busch Gardens.
I spoke briefly with this food service girl named Kelly as I walked into Crown Colony. She's the one that Rich likes and whose house he was eating Christmas dinner at with an invitation from her parents. I soon found out that there had been some major call ins and started work early. Mark is this Italian guy who is really funny and I tried to match some of his joking today and was doing a pretty good job. There's this ugly girl in food service named Shari and it scared me a couple of times when people would say or call her name until I figured out what was going on. I thought I was going nuts for a second. Mark was joking with her that I like her and I was playing along that I like her right in front of the girl. I then was saying about all of the things I could do with the two gallon tubs of whipped cream they have in the back. It was funny and he and I joked around all day long.
I then got the balls to go talk to this nice looking long haired girl in food service who was finally exposed out at the cash register. We started talking and she has an awesome country accent and I fell in love immediately. She was awesome until I saw the engagement and wedding rings!!! Shit! That really sucked and I went and pouted to everybody.
I then got a lovely little phone call at the bar from Sarah over in the Stanleyville train station. We talked for about fifteen minutes before I told her I had to go so I didn't look too bad in front of the guests or supervisors for that matter. I did get her number and promised to call her back. We ended up talking back and forth all day long and decided to meet up after work at a gift shop in the front. I walked around impatiently for her until she finally showed and she didn't look at all like I had remembered. She definitely looks a lot better with a tan and sun bleached hair but who cares about being choosy... We met up with this girl named Destiny that was taking her home and hugged before realizing we were walking the same way. I had also put my earring in to show off and she noticed. It seemed like an effective encounter, although really quick.
I came home to an empty house and called out to Mema's where they all were. I then waited for them to bring home the leftovers from Christmas dinner. I had my Christmas dinner at work today which consisted of a lot of fresh carved turkey, stuffing, yams, corn, a roll, a drink and carrot cake. It was just like the meal I had on Thanksgiving day except this time it was free for the employees! That was cool. Claus and I got our lunches at the same time so we could take the long walk to where they were serving it.
At about a quarter to ten I answered the telephone and we all figured it would be Mema checking to make sure they got home. There was the same pause that she always does but then a girls voice said hello. I instantly thought it was Sarah. It wasn't until almost a whole sentence later that I realized it was Shar¡!!!!! SHe joked that she was just trying to be nice and call to say Merry Christmas and stuff and I as mean and asked her if that's not very easy for her to do. She then said that she has tried to call me a couple of times but I was at work. We only talked for a second because I actually told her I was getting my food ready to eat and I actually didn't drop everything and talk to Shar¡!!! What the hell am I thinking??!??
After I put my food in to cook the phone rang again and father ran deviously to answer it and joked that she didn't give me very long to eat. It was Ashley!!!! I was rather surprised by the call on Christmas but was extremely glad. She was very hoarse and asked if I knew who it was even after I seemed to recognize her voice from the very first instance, which I did. We both seemed rather glad to be talking to each other and we both had a lot to say. She told me about her brief weekend with Daniel and I then let her know who I talked to for the first time just a few minutes before she called. It was funny.
She wants me to stop by and see her the day I go and get my ring which is really cool. I then told her that my only day off is Tuesday and I'm planning on going with Laura to Busch on that day, and told her how she came by to say hello the other day. Ashley thought that was sweet of hr and then confessed that she hasn't talked to Laura since she dropped her off Thursday afternoon even though she lives just two minutes away! I told her I need to call her soon and she said to tell her hello and that she loves her. I then said no and told her that I'll tell her that I... and then realized what the hell I was saying and Ashley caught on really well. It was funny and Ashley seemed to actually push the idea rather than criticize me. That was some nice encouragement in a meaningless way. Maybe Laura likes me because they had to have talked about the idea... everybody talks...
Well, if Shar¡ could see some of the pictures I have of her now, she would shit!!!!!
Friday, December 24, 1993
December 24, 1993 - Friday - Kelly!, Kimmeth!, Sarah
Work is actually turning out to be pretty cool. It just seems to be getting better and better. I worked on the bar starting at noon and staying until closing. This guy named Matt was up there with me and he is the biggest faggot I have ever seen. He's pretty cool though and I've made it perfectly clear what my preferences are.
I was looking for attractive women all day long and actually saw a few today. I wore my glasses this time so I could get a clear view of the entire restaurant. There is this really cute tall and skinny girl with long straight auburn hair. I would normally call it light brown but I picked up the new color from the fag. I really like this girl and noticed her staring a lot at me from the gift shop where she works while I was walking around in grounds on Wednesday. I have been impressed ever since.
I bought a pizza later during a break and walked into the basement lounge and she and some hospitality guy were the only two people in the room. I sat facing away from her by the door so she couldn't watch me eat. I first ran off to the bathroom and started at her hard while I walked back in. The guy soon left and she then got up and washed her hands, arching her butt right at my face while doing so. She then ran off to the bathroom. I kind of wondered why she washed her hands in front of me if she was going to run off so quick to the restroom. She then came back and sat down. As soon as I was done, she got up and followed me out and headed towards the elevator until I turned for the stairs and along she came. I handed her the door and then held the door open for her upstairs and she and I both smiled and laughed as she told me she was still going up, but she did thank me. I walked into the office to sign back in from break only to see her walking back to her shop... why the fifteen second detour upstairs? Matt and I were talking about her later because he knows her. She walked by once and he called out to her and after a short exchange he called out something like, "I want you!" or something. I then said about half as loud, "I love you!" and he looked at me with a laugh. It was funny. He says she's really sweet. I'd really like to find out.
Later on there was a group of three really good looking girls that came and ate dinner at a table towards the far side of the bar and I kind of hung out there and stared for a long time. It wasn't crowded so it didn't matter. One girl was eating strawberry shortcake and I suddenly blurted out that there much better things to do with whipped cream than that. Matt looked at me really quick in surprise until he realized what I meant. I really think they could have heard me, and who cares because I kind of wanted them to! When it was time for me to go on break, I joked that I know exactly where I want to be on my break and hinted at that third empty chair. I then looked and flirted hard as I walked by their table repeatedly. It was fun.
I had quite a bit of fun with Kelly, too. We stop to talk to each other all of the time and we both seem to give each other these awesome love me puppy dog faces. Mine are perfect and it's kind of funny. We have a really good time talking, too. Yesterday we had a really good time because this forty year old guy just stayed and talked to her forever after she served him his beer. It was really obvious that he was in some perverted way trying to hit on her and I told her after he left. She thought that was really funny and said that she doesn't pick up on things like that and then I was mocking what he had said and we were laughing really hard.
We also joke around with each other a lot and I'm always really talkative when she comes around. For some reason we were talking about dating and she told me that she hasn't been on a date since August. I acted surprised and told her that we'll have to go on one before I leave and she said that she'd really like to. I suggested dinner and she said that sounds good, she eats dinner! I then added my own sarcasm and said that's great because I like to eat dinner, too, and it's so hard to find people that do nowadays. I then asked what she likes better, Burger King of McDonalds, and then remembered she likes Kentucky Fried Chicken! It was funny but I would like to go out with her once and maybe write letters or something. Cool!
I called Sarah on my break for a few minutes and again later tonight but we only talked for a little while. It seems so much like she doesn't give half a shit most for the time but then she'll do something good like call me a bunch long distance or a bunch of times down here. I don't know.
Kimmeth called me last night!!! I'm kind of glad she put of coming home right now because I don't think I'm quite ready for her yet. We talked a long time about things and I let her in a little more on Shar¡ and she seemed very wise and picked up things about Shar¡ very intuitively which impressed me immensely, seriously. I was really glad to talk to her. Her psychic told her that she has a year before she'll want a definite commitment and I joked once again that she can date around for a year and then we'll have to get together. She laughed and then asked me what about myself, for she had a dream about Tobin screwing every girl in Fort LAuderdale and then remembered it stemmed from something I told her. I then said that I'll finish up everything between now and then and she liked that. She also got my Kim Exposed card from Spencers and said that she really liked it and it worked very effectively because the way she ripped it opened, the title was the first thing she saw and it scared her for a second. Cute.
I was looking for attractive women all day long and actually saw a few today. I wore my glasses this time so I could get a clear view of the entire restaurant. There is this really cute tall and skinny girl with long straight auburn hair. I would normally call it light brown but I picked up the new color from the fag. I really like this girl and noticed her staring a lot at me from the gift shop where she works while I was walking around in grounds on Wednesday. I have been impressed ever since.
I bought a pizza later during a break and walked into the basement lounge and she and some hospitality guy were the only two people in the room. I sat facing away from her by the door so she couldn't watch me eat. I first ran off to the bathroom and started at her hard while I walked back in. The guy soon left and she then got up and washed her hands, arching her butt right at my face while doing so. She then ran off to the bathroom. I kind of wondered why she washed her hands in front of me if she was going to run off so quick to the restroom. She then came back and sat down. As soon as I was done, she got up and followed me out and headed towards the elevator until I turned for the stairs and along she came. I handed her the door and then held the door open for her upstairs and she and I both smiled and laughed as she told me she was still going up, but she did thank me. I walked into the office to sign back in from break only to see her walking back to her shop... why the fifteen second detour upstairs? Matt and I were talking about her later because he knows her. She walked by once and he called out to her and after a short exchange he called out something like, "I want you!" or something. I then said about half as loud, "I love you!" and he looked at me with a laugh. It was funny. He says she's really sweet. I'd really like to find out.
Later on there was a group of three really good looking girls that came and ate dinner at a table towards the far side of the bar and I kind of hung out there and stared for a long time. It wasn't crowded so it didn't matter. One girl was eating strawberry shortcake and I suddenly blurted out that there much better things to do with whipped cream than that. Matt looked at me really quick in surprise until he realized what I meant. I really think they could have heard me, and who cares because I kind of wanted them to! When it was time for me to go on break, I joked that I know exactly where I want to be on my break and hinted at that third empty chair. I then looked and flirted hard as I walked by their table repeatedly. It was fun.
I had quite a bit of fun with Kelly, too. We stop to talk to each other all of the time and we both seem to give each other these awesome love me puppy dog faces. Mine are perfect and it's kind of funny. We have a really good time talking, too. Yesterday we had a really good time because this forty year old guy just stayed and talked to her forever after she served him his beer. It was really obvious that he was in some perverted way trying to hit on her and I told her after he left. She thought that was really funny and said that she doesn't pick up on things like that and then I was mocking what he had said and we were laughing really hard.
We also joke around with each other a lot and I'm always really talkative when she comes around. For some reason we were talking about dating and she told me that she hasn't been on a date since August. I acted surprised and told her that we'll have to go on one before I leave and she said that she'd really like to. I suggested dinner and she said that sounds good, she eats dinner! I then added my own sarcasm and said that's great because I like to eat dinner, too, and it's so hard to find people that do nowadays. I then asked what she likes better, Burger King of McDonalds, and then remembered she likes Kentucky Fried Chicken! It was funny but I would like to go out with her once and maybe write letters or something. Cool!
I called Sarah on my break for a few minutes and again later tonight but we only talked for a little while. It seems so much like she doesn't give half a shit most for the time but then she'll do something good like call me a bunch long distance or a bunch of times down here. I don't know.
Kimmeth called me last night!!! I'm kind of glad she put of coming home right now because I don't think I'm quite ready for her yet. We talked a long time about things and I let her in a little more on Shar¡ and she seemed very wise and picked up things about Shar¡ very intuitively which impressed me immensely, seriously. I was really glad to talk to her. Her psychic told her that she has a year before she'll want a definite commitment and I joked once again that she can date around for a year and then we'll have to get together. She laughed and then asked me what about myself, for she had a dream about Tobin screwing every girl in Fort LAuderdale and then remembered it stemmed from something I told her. I then said that I'll finish up everything between now and then and she liked that. She also got my Kim Exposed card from Spencers and said that she really liked it and it worked very effectively because the way she ripped it opened, the title was the first thing she saw and it scared her for a second. Cute.
Thursday, December 23, 1993
December 23, 1993 - Wednesday - Impressing Kelly Bo Peep
Well, work is cool. It's kind of an easy and very relaxed job and I'm not the least bit upset that I didn't get the rides or other grounds area. Actually I think this is probably the best place to work during the winter because it's mostly indoors. The only bad part is the fact that there aren't too many girls coming through to flirt with. On my first day I worked in grounds and met everybody. I worked along with this guy named Claus who is a Puerto Rican born German. He's just as tall as I am and we got a lot of attention because of that, much more than if we had come in by ourselves. It was funny. He's a pre dental student at the University of Tampa. We got along really well and were both looking for women and flirting with anything we could find.
One supervisor is named Kelly, a decent and very nice blonde, but I noticed an engagement ring right away. I then met this rather teacher looking girl and noticed no ring. I kind of gathered that she is pretty silly if she is old, but cool if she is young. Claus and I talked about her age for a second so I decided to go in and ask her while she was working at the bar. She looked up at me and to start conversation asked me how old I am!!! That scared me. It turns out that she is eighteen and I like that a lot. Her name is Kelly.
One part time supervisor is named Rich and he is pretty cool. He's a little guy from the deep swamp in Louisiana. We get along really well and talked all about Mardi Gras. He was there last year and I joked that I remembered seeing him there! Claus and I walked into the office once and Rich explained that they've been having Christmas parties in the Crown Colony after the park closes and asked either one of us if we wanted to work. I gladly volunteered for the hours and told them I wanted to work as much as possible since I'm only here for two weeks and this is my food money for next semester. They then explained that all we'll do is rearrange the tables and chairs and then hide for about five hours until the party is over when we have to put the furniture back in its proper place. There is a really nice VIP room where we get to hang out. Rich also said that the Crown Colony workers are probably the most pampered employees in the park with the exception of those in the Hospitality House. I now fully agree.
I started talking to Kelly a lot. Her nickname is Bo Peep. We started getting along really well and she latched onto me not after too long. Most of the girls in our area are goody goodies and she is no exception. We had a lot of fun running around, though.
We then had to actually do a little work in preparation for the party for about an hour. I used it as an opportunity to exercise and to show off a little. They have these curtains and poles that you have to assemble into a shadow box covering the food service. Rich, Kelly, some girl from grounds, and I all stayed. The little people usually have a hell of a time putting up the shadow box but I was able to reach it with ease and they were very impressed. By the end of the night I had impressed Kelly a hell of a lot and I really loved the attention.
We flipped tables and moved chairs. They all can only handle two at a time so I decided to test my strength and size by caring four at a time. I made sure to walk in front of them so they could both see. There were some security guards walking around that complimented me. The next day there was a big group of people in the office and we were talking about the night function and Rich told them that he wanted to keep me because I did a damn good job. He then actually bragged about me and how I carried four chairs at a time all night long!!!!! That was awesome and was exactly the attention I was out to get.
Early in the day I had joked with Kelly by asking her when she is going to take me to dinner. I picked up the line from Chris in Gainesville. Well, she went out and got Burger King for us to eat while we hung out in the VIP room. We then called people on the telephone and also watched the party. Kelly and I were leaning right on each other as we peeked around the shadow box. There were some awesome girls there that I was looking at rather intensely.
The next day I flirted a lot with Kelly again. We had to start preparing for another night function on Sunday night as well and they definitely wanted me to stay and help them. She kept running up to help me flip tables. When she told me that she wanted to help me, I acted all surprised and happy. She laughed and said that she is my Christmas present then and I smiled and said that she is what I always wanted. We then put our arms around each other for a second. That was great!
I was also trained on the bar that day. Rich was supposed to do it, but Kelly ran to take over. I impressed her once again by tapping perfect cupfuls of beer right from the start and by poring multiple beers without stopping the fountain. She really liked that. She also was amazed by the spiel I gave the first person I reminded that they are limited to two beers a day. I guess she forgot that I have worked at Busch before and now how to be courteous but get my point across. She said that I sounded exactly likes she would have done it. I like her.
I talked to Sarah on Monday and Tuesday repeatedly all day long both days.
Shar¡ called my house today while I was at work. At least she's making an effort...
One supervisor is named Kelly, a decent and very nice blonde, but I noticed an engagement ring right away. I then met this rather teacher looking girl and noticed no ring. I kind of gathered that she is pretty silly if she is old, but cool if she is young. Claus and I talked about her age for a second so I decided to go in and ask her while she was working at the bar. She looked up at me and to start conversation asked me how old I am!!! That scared me. It turns out that she is eighteen and I like that a lot. Her name is Kelly.
One part time supervisor is named Rich and he is pretty cool. He's a little guy from the deep swamp in Louisiana. We get along really well and talked all about Mardi Gras. He was there last year and I joked that I remembered seeing him there! Claus and I walked into the office once and Rich explained that they've been having Christmas parties in the Crown Colony after the park closes and asked either one of us if we wanted to work. I gladly volunteered for the hours and told them I wanted to work as much as possible since I'm only here for two weeks and this is my food money for next semester. They then explained that all we'll do is rearrange the tables and chairs and then hide for about five hours until the party is over when we have to put the furniture back in its proper place. There is a really nice VIP room where we get to hang out. Rich also said that the Crown Colony workers are probably the most pampered employees in the park with the exception of those in the Hospitality House. I now fully agree.
I started talking to Kelly a lot. Her nickname is Bo Peep. We started getting along really well and she latched onto me not after too long. Most of the girls in our area are goody goodies and she is no exception. We had a lot of fun running around, though.
We then had to actually do a little work in preparation for the party for about an hour. I used it as an opportunity to exercise and to show off a little. They have these curtains and poles that you have to assemble into a shadow box covering the food service. Rich, Kelly, some girl from grounds, and I all stayed. The little people usually have a hell of a time putting up the shadow box but I was able to reach it with ease and they were very impressed. By the end of the night I had impressed Kelly a hell of a lot and I really loved the attention.
We flipped tables and moved chairs. They all can only handle two at a time so I decided to test my strength and size by caring four at a time. I made sure to walk in front of them so they could both see. There were some security guards walking around that complimented me. The next day there was a big group of people in the office and we were talking about the night function and Rich told them that he wanted to keep me because I did a damn good job. He then actually bragged about me and how I carried four chairs at a time all night long!!!!! That was awesome and was exactly the attention I was out to get.
Early in the day I had joked with Kelly by asking her when she is going to take me to dinner. I picked up the line from Chris in Gainesville. Well, she went out and got Burger King for us to eat while we hung out in the VIP room. We then called people on the telephone and also watched the party. Kelly and I were leaning right on each other as we peeked around the shadow box. There were some awesome girls there that I was looking at rather intensely.
The next day I flirted a lot with Kelly again. We had to start preparing for another night function on Sunday night as well and they definitely wanted me to stay and help them. She kept running up to help me flip tables. When she told me that she wanted to help me, I acted all surprised and happy. She laughed and said that she is my Christmas present then and I smiled and said that she is what I always wanted. We then put our arms around each other for a second. That was great!
I was also trained on the bar that day. Rich was supposed to do it, but Kelly ran to take over. I impressed her once again by tapping perfect cupfuls of beer right from the start and by poring multiple beers without stopping the fountain. She really liked that. She also was amazed by the spiel I gave the first person I reminded that they are limited to two beers a day. I guess she forgot that I have worked at Busch before and now how to be courteous but get my point across. She said that I sounded exactly likes she would have done it. I like her.
I talked to Sarah on Monday and Tuesday repeatedly all day long both days.
Shar¡ called my house today while I was at work. At least she's making an effort...
Friday, December 17, 1993
December 17, 1993 - Friday - Accepting Shari, Busch!
I just talked to Christina and learned a few things that aren't really new or important. She was worried that this guy, Josh, gave her a disease and just found out that he didn't after he visited the hospital. The guy who got her pregnant also is threatening that she will get an abortion, with or without violence so she's planning on staying with an Aunt in Daytona starting at the beginning of the new year. There goes my only connection with Shar¡. I changed the subject to Shar¡, and Christina complained that it seems like she keeps giving Josh these looks like she likes him. She also was joking about how much Shar¡ and I pissed her off back when we started going out. I joked about wanting to have sex with her now and she really liked that a lot. I told her that she didn't really miss anything but she said that she doesn't know that and I could be awesome in bed because Shar¡ never talked about us having sex to her. I really like that. I told her that either way I have been practicing a lot lately and we laughed.
Christina claims that Shar¡ definitely lost our baby. I tried to help her figure out why but she doesn't know. I asked about Livestock but she said that Shar¡ didn't go to Livestock because they were together that weekend...??????? I asked and she told me that Shar¡ has known for about two months and she was telling me again how much she thought Shar¡ should have told me from the beginning and how they used to talk about that. They are going out to Mulligans tonight and I asked her to please tell Shar¡ to call me and she said she would. I made a few cute jokes that will almost assure that she does.
What sucks is that my life suddenly feels so empty right now. I had a dream two nights ago about this confrontation between Shar¡ and I and she told me that she was having triplets!!! but then disappeared and didn't have much to do with me for the rest of the dream. It was my mind fearing that even if she does have my baby, that she'll stay with the other guy. I think triplets stemmed from my want of twins, plus Cord. I really feel that I was taken for a ride by Shar¡ and was meddling with something I wasn't ever meant to understand. I tried to change so much for her and that probably isn't right. That empty feeling inside just dreads having to start everything all over again.
It's weird I feel that way because I have Leigh Anne who wants to marry me and is pushing sex down my throat, Sarah seems pretty promising, Kimmeth is still a really good friend, Laura and I are on improving terms, and Ashley and I are better friends than ever. I've never had such an abundance of good women, and for so long it has been overshadowed by the love of the one bad one. Everything that could possibly be wrong was... love must be the strongest thing in the universe.
Ashley and I met downstairs at seven on Wednesday morning to walk to our Biology exam. She had stayed at her sorority house for the night to study. We went and took the test and I waited afterwards for her outside. I met up with Fran‡oise and we talked for a while. It turns out that she and Leigh Anne were next door neighbors last year. Anyway, Ashley and I cried about the exam afterwards on our trip home.
I took advantage of the little spare time I had to mail Christmas cards. I bought one for Granny, Kimmeth and Carey Ann before buying another much better one for Kim at the mall. The one I had originally picked out for her was really mushy and talked about how special our friendship is. I tried to rearrange the cards so that I could give them to four different people, not knowing how Kim would like two. It suddenly hit me how appropriate Ashley would be as a recipient of the friendship card. I filled it out and told her to give me a call in Tampa (that's another reason I gave it to her, to give myself an excuse to give her my home phone number!). It was really sweet. I only felt bad about not giving Laura anything. I then had the person downstairs put the card in Ashley's mailbox to formalize the whole thing.
I got a call from Ashley later on that night and she started off the conversation in a way that I wasn't sure if she had gotten the card. She finally thanked me for it and you could tell that he really liked it, a lot!!! She's the kind of girl that really appreciates sentimental things. I also had been worried about how I could keep our friendship going strong next semester and I think I did a damn good job of solidifying it. We talked for forty-five minutes until her phone battery started going dead.
She then invited me down and I stayed for over an hour. She gave me a Jolt cola and a bag full of candy. We talked a lot and a couple of times when I would say I was about ready to go just to make sure I wasn't imposing, she would whine and say that I have to stay to keep her company. Laura, Jessica and Rob showed up from seeing the movie, Jurassic Park and we all talked for a while longer. Jessica started an art collage due the next day that consisted of pictures from 1974. She kept holding up pictures and asking us who they were and I answered almost every one right and she was really impressed.
Laura and I were getting along really well, too. She kept cutting down Rob. One time I complained about the Muppet Christmas music, and he then agreed. Laura told him if he didn't like it he could leave and he jokingly complained that she was picking on him and not me. She then said that I am a real friend and came over and gave me a hug! I really liked that. We recommitted our engagement with a ring made out of a piece of Ashley's artificial Christmas tree. It was really cute. We also talked about our presumed date to Busch Gardens some more. Ashley and I have a little date planned for lunch when I come out to Brandon to pick up my ring as well.
Ashley then gave me a call last night from Tampa!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leigh Anne and my final words:
L - I'm tired of hearing about her, tell it to someone who cares...
D - I'm tired of hearing about us, tell it to someone who cares...
Christina claims that Shar¡ definitely lost our baby. I tried to help her figure out why but she doesn't know. I asked about Livestock but she said that Shar¡ didn't go to Livestock because they were together that weekend...??????? I asked and she told me that Shar¡ has known for about two months and she was telling me again how much she thought Shar¡ should have told me from the beginning and how they used to talk about that. They are going out to Mulligans tonight and I asked her to please tell Shar¡ to call me and she said she would. I made a few cute jokes that will almost assure that she does.
What sucks is that my life suddenly feels so empty right now. I had a dream two nights ago about this confrontation between Shar¡ and I and she told me that she was having triplets!!! but then disappeared and didn't have much to do with me for the rest of the dream. It was my mind fearing that even if she does have my baby, that she'll stay with the other guy. I think triplets stemmed from my want of twins, plus Cord. I really feel that I was taken for a ride by Shar¡ and was meddling with something I wasn't ever meant to understand. I tried to change so much for her and that probably isn't right. That empty feeling inside just dreads having to start everything all over again.
It's weird I feel that way because I have Leigh Anne who wants to marry me and is pushing sex down my throat, Sarah seems pretty promising, Kimmeth is still a really good friend, Laura and I are on improving terms, and Ashley and I are better friends than ever. I've never had such an abundance of good women, and for so long it has been overshadowed by the love of the one bad one. Everything that could possibly be wrong was... love must be the strongest thing in the universe.
Ashley and I met downstairs at seven on Wednesday morning to walk to our Biology exam. She had stayed at her sorority house for the night to study. We went and took the test and I waited afterwards for her outside. I met up with Fran‡oise and we talked for a while. It turns out that she and Leigh Anne were next door neighbors last year. Anyway, Ashley and I cried about the exam afterwards on our trip home.
I took advantage of the little spare time I had to mail Christmas cards. I bought one for Granny, Kimmeth and Carey Ann before buying another much better one for Kim at the mall. The one I had originally picked out for her was really mushy and talked about how special our friendship is. I tried to rearrange the cards so that I could give them to four different people, not knowing how Kim would like two. It suddenly hit me how appropriate Ashley would be as a recipient of the friendship card. I filled it out and told her to give me a call in Tampa (that's another reason I gave it to her, to give myself an excuse to give her my home phone number!). It was really sweet. I only felt bad about not giving Laura anything. I then had the person downstairs put the card in Ashley's mailbox to formalize the whole thing.
I got a call from Ashley later on that night and she started off the conversation in a way that I wasn't sure if she had gotten the card. She finally thanked me for it and you could tell that he really liked it, a lot!!! She's the kind of girl that really appreciates sentimental things. I also had been worried about how I could keep our friendship going strong next semester and I think I did a damn good job of solidifying it. We talked for forty-five minutes until her phone battery started going dead.
She then invited me down and I stayed for over an hour. She gave me a Jolt cola and a bag full of candy. We talked a lot and a couple of times when I would say I was about ready to go just to make sure I wasn't imposing, she would whine and say that I have to stay to keep her company. Laura, Jessica and Rob showed up from seeing the movie, Jurassic Park and we all talked for a while longer. Jessica started an art collage due the next day that consisted of pictures from 1974. She kept holding up pictures and asking us who they were and I answered almost every one right and she was really impressed.
Laura and I were getting along really well, too. She kept cutting down Rob. One time I complained about the Muppet Christmas music, and he then agreed. Laura told him if he didn't like it he could leave and he jokingly complained that she was picking on him and not me. She then said that I am a real friend and came over and gave me a hug! I really liked that. We recommitted our engagement with a ring made out of a piece of Ashley's artificial Christmas tree. It was really cute. We also talked about our presumed date to Busch Gardens some more. Ashley and I have a little date planned for lunch when I come out to Brandon to pick up my ring as well.
Ashley then gave me a call last night from Tampa!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leigh Anne and my final words:
L - I'm tired of hearing about her, tell it to someone who cares...
D - I'm tired of hearing about us, tell it to someone who cares...
Monday, December 13, 1993
December 13, 1993 - Monday - Last fling w/ Leigh Anne
I've actually had a pretty eventful day, despite the disappointing setback of my car not working worth a shit. I slept over at Leigh Anne's last night and yes we had sex again. We had sex the night before as well for the first time since that Monday night when I dumped her. Marty was with with Chris for the weekend which is why I went with Leigh Anne, otherwise I would have been alone, like I will be tonight. Michelle walked in on us last night while we were having sex and Leigh Anne made a big deal out of it. I just rolled over since I was letting her do all of the work anyway and started to go to sleep. After Michelle settled in up on the top bunk, she went at it again. I decided to take advantage of the situation and asked her to finish a blow job she had started. I have never orgasmed into anyone's mouth before and have always really wanted to.
She was really unsure about being able to do so but I moved my hips to help myself out and after a while I did come inside her mouth and the feel of her sucking the come out of my dick was pure bliss!!! That felt awesome. It's a shame it had to be with her. Sometimes through the night I tried to picture that I was lying with Shar¡ but I just couldn't even though it was dark, there are just too many physical differences as well. It's weird, but it's almost as if Shar¡ is less dense than Leigh Anne, if that makes any sense. It's like Leigh Anne's aura is absorbing the life out of me while Shar¡ was filling me full.
I didn't wake up until 12:30 when I quickly split to run the day's errands. Jon wanted to come with Chris and I. Cecil was over and we dropped him off at an exam before heading over to check out my car. The problems seem to be deeper than just the battery now which sucks! We then headed to Wal Mart where I bought Christmas cards for Kimmeth, Carey Ann and Mema. I received two cards in the mail today before we left, one from Carey Ann and one from Mema with five dollars inside to buy snacks for exam week. I thought that was really funny because I complained sarcastically to my mom the other day that both Laura and Ashley's parents love them enough to send them baskets, but mine don't. I know that my mom ended up telling Mema that which is why she sent me money. I thought that was really sweet and my mom agreed tonight that it really happened that way and Mema didn't tell her that she sent the card until after she had already mailed it. carey Ann's card was really sweet and told me how she thinks constantly about our fun summer together and so forth.
We then went to Publix and bought a dozen glazed doughnuts. Chris and I picked out three additional fifty cent a piece doughnuts and she gave them to us for free. She was fat and we joked that she gave them to us because we flirted with her. The cashier was gorgeous, however, and I really enjoyed looking at her. We then headed home only to find a message on the answering machine! It was for me!!! It was my beautiful Sarah, and I thought she had forgotten about me! Thank God she hasn't! I didn't ever return her call today, though, but I will really soon. I also called Shands Hospital and made an interview appointment for the spring semester to be a cuddler for infants and small children. That should be fun.
Chris, Jon and I later headed out to the mall to do a little Christmas shopping and had a good time. I suggested that we stop by and pick up Cecil which we did. We ran all over the mall and had fun and found so much stuff to buy. I found this awesome semi-pornographic card that is personalized with Kim's name that she ought to love. I'll remind her of how much she bragged about going to the male strip club that time. I hope she likes it. I also bought a little black mouse.
I made spaghetti tonight and even gave some to Leigh Anne. It was delicious and we also made twisty bread sticks that came out really well. I ran downstairs with a small plate of hamburger after I browned it to give to Laura and they all thought that was pretty funny. I also had I called home to tell them about my car predicament and to brag about how good my spaghetti was. My mom told me that Shar¡ called the other day and Chrissy talked to her. She said that she wanted(or needs???) to talk to me! She thought that I would be home by then and my sister told her I'd be another week. That would explain why she didn't write to me... I'm really scared right now...
She was really unsure about being able to do so but I moved my hips to help myself out and after a while I did come inside her mouth and the feel of her sucking the come out of my dick was pure bliss!!! That felt awesome. It's a shame it had to be with her. Sometimes through the night I tried to picture that I was lying with Shar¡ but I just couldn't even though it was dark, there are just too many physical differences as well. It's weird, but it's almost as if Shar¡ is less dense than Leigh Anne, if that makes any sense. It's like Leigh Anne's aura is absorbing the life out of me while Shar¡ was filling me full.
I didn't wake up until 12:30 when I quickly split to run the day's errands. Jon wanted to come with Chris and I. Cecil was over and we dropped him off at an exam before heading over to check out my car. The problems seem to be deeper than just the battery now which sucks! We then headed to Wal Mart where I bought Christmas cards for Kimmeth, Carey Ann and Mema. I received two cards in the mail today before we left, one from Carey Ann and one from Mema with five dollars inside to buy snacks for exam week. I thought that was really funny because I complained sarcastically to my mom the other day that both Laura and Ashley's parents love them enough to send them baskets, but mine don't. I know that my mom ended up telling Mema that which is why she sent me money. I thought that was really sweet and my mom agreed tonight that it really happened that way and Mema didn't tell her that she sent the card until after she had already mailed it. carey Ann's card was really sweet and told me how she thinks constantly about our fun summer together and so forth.
We then went to Publix and bought a dozen glazed doughnuts. Chris and I picked out three additional fifty cent a piece doughnuts and she gave them to us for free. She was fat and we joked that she gave them to us because we flirted with her. The cashier was gorgeous, however, and I really enjoyed looking at her. We then headed home only to find a message on the answering machine! It was for me!!! It was my beautiful Sarah, and I thought she had forgotten about me! Thank God she hasn't! I didn't ever return her call today, though, but I will really soon. I also called Shands Hospital and made an interview appointment for the spring semester to be a cuddler for infants and small children. That should be fun.
Chris, Jon and I later headed out to the mall to do a little Christmas shopping and had a good time. I suggested that we stop by and pick up Cecil which we did. We ran all over the mall and had fun and found so much stuff to buy. I found this awesome semi-pornographic card that is personalized with Kim's name that she ought to love. I'll remind her of how much she bragged about going to the male strip club that time. I hope she likes it. I also bought a little black mouse.
I made spaghetti tonight and even gave some to Leigh Anne. It was delicious and we also made twisty bread sticks that came out really well. I ran downstairs with a small plate of hamburger after I browned it to give to Laura and they all thought that was pretty funny. I also had I called home to tell them about my car predicament and to brag about how good my spaghetti was. My mom told me that Shar¡ called the other day and Chrissy talked to her. She said that she wanted(or needs???) to talk to me! She thought that I would be home by then and my sister told her I'd be another week. That would explain why she didn't write to me... I'm really scared right now...
Sunday, December 5, 1993
December 5, 1993 - Sunday - What is it about Shari?!
D - So was Livestock worth it?
S - What do you mean?
D - That's when you killed my baby.
Why do you think I was so against you going to Livestock, I thought I had figured out that you were pregnant and knew what would happen! Remember how I kept saying you had to stay for Cord's birthday, yes that's important but obviously wasn't important enough for all of the time I spent trying to convince you not to go. I had other reasons that I was afraid to bring up. If I had "accused" you of being pregnant, and you weren't, I was afraid you'd get pissed at me for some reason and leave me.
When you did leave me on your own, I figured that your important news wasn't that you were pregnant, but that you had found somebody else. That's why it was so easy for me to let you go at the time. It's not until now, over an entire month later that missing you is tearing me to pieces!
The scary thing is, I still find myself forgiving you for everything you do (or everything I think you do) and that scares me. Why am I like that, why do I like you so damn much? I have a bad habit of convincing myself that everything that went wrong with us is entirely my fault. If only I hadn't kept shut up and had talked to you about being pregnant from the start, then everything might be fine... If only I didn't have to leave you in the first place...
Well, I've spent the past month improving my stamina and technique. I just wanted so much for you to be the one that showed me how, but now I ask you to judge me.... he he.
Leigh Anne is trying her hardest to get me back, and I'm accommodating her but I'm not telling her anything or doing anything that I feel is wrong. I constantly refuse to kiss her and deny her pleads for me to let her stay the night with me just to hold me and be there for me through all of my problems. She gave me a cassette of "I miss you" songs that she stayed up Friday night for eight hors making for me, and then gave me a pink rose and foil "I love you" balloon yesterday. I put it in my makeshift vase with the red rose she gave me Monday. She claims they were out of red roses this time around. She also was making a big deal out of things because yesterday would have been our one month anniversary and she was telling me that she had big plans for today back before Thanksgiving Break.
All I have to say is that if she thinks my attitude after only four days back in Tampa was bad, wait until I have to deal with two and a half weeks worth of the bliss. I hope.
Oh yeah, for statistic's purposes, she claims the count ended at 25/28/2. I think she included our final fuck, where I almost came two times before finally doing so as having sex three times. That's not the way I do things. Thus 23/26/2 is more accurate. Let me explain. 23 times I orgasmed / 26 times we had sex / 2 times we had anal sex. An even better one would be 23 times I orgasmed / 26 times we had sex / 1 time I orgasmed during anal sex / 2 times we had anal sex / lots of blow jobs, but 0 orgasms. 23/26/1/2/N/0. Shar¡ was 4/4, Abby was 1/2. Total score... 28/32/1/2/N/0.
So when Shar¡ got me, I was a completely unexperienced worthless piece of shit, and had only had sex six times in my life once she had gone. Now I've learned and practiced and could make her oh so happy! Nix the jinx... but I hope so much for just one chance to have sex with her again.............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it would matter!
S - What do you mean?
D - That's when you killed my baby.
Why do you think I was so against you going to Livestock, I thought I had figured out that you were pregnant and knew what would happen! Remember how I kept saying you had to stay for Cord's birthday, yes that's important but obviously wasn't important enough for all of the time I spent trying to convince you not to go. I had other reasons that I was afraid to bring up. If I had "accused" you of being pregnant, and you weren't, I was afraid you'd get pissed at me for some reason and leave me.
When you did leave me on your own, I figured that your important news wasn't that you were pregnant, but that you had found somebody else. That's why it was so easy for me to let you go at the time. It's not until now, over an entire month later that missing you is tearing me to pieces!
The scary thing is, I still find myself forgiving you for everything you do (or everything I think you do) and that scares me. Why am I like that, why do I like you so damn much? I have a bad habit of convincing myself that everything that went wrong with us is entirely my fault. If only I hadn't kept shut up and had talked to you about being pregnant from the start, then everything might be fine... If only I didn't have to leave you in the first place...
Well, I've spent the past month improving my stamina and technique. I just wanted so much for you to be the one that showed me how, but now I ask you to judge me.... he he.
Leigh Anne is trying her hardest to get me back, and I'm accommodating her but I'm not telling her anything or doing anything that I feel is wrong. I constantly refuse to kiss her and deny her pleads for me to let her stay the night with me just to hold me and be there for me through all of my problems. She gave me a cassette of "I miss you" songs that she stayed up Friday night for eight hors making for me, and then gave me a pink rose and foil "I love you" balloon yesterday. I put it in my makeshift vase with the red rose she gave me Monday. She claims they were out of red roses this time around. She also was making a big deal out of things because yesterday would have been our one month anniversary and she was telling me that she had big plans for today back before Thanksgiving Break.
All I have to say is that if she thinks my attitude after only four days back in Tampa was bad, wait until I have to deal with two and a half weeks worth of the bliss. I hope.
Oh yeah, for statistic's purposes, she claims the count ended at 25/28/2. I think she included our final fuck, where I almost came two times before finally doing so as having sex three times. That's not the way I do things. Thus 23/26/2 is more accurate. Let me explain. 23 times I orgasmed / 26 times we had sex / 2 times we had anal sex. An even better one would be 23 times I orgasmed / 26 times we had sex / 1 time I orgasmed during anal sex / 2 times we had anal sex / lots of blow jobs, but 0 orgasms. 23/26/1/2/N/0. Shar¡ was 4/4, Abby was 1/2. Total score... 28/32/1/2/N/0.
So when Shar¡ got me, I was a completely unexperienced worthless piece of shit, and had only had sex six times in my life once she had gone. Now I've learned and practiced and could make her oh so happy! Nix the jinx... but I hope so much for just one chance to have sex with her again.............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it would matter!
Thursday, December 2, 1993
December 2, 1993 - Thursday - Christina does it again
Damn I hate talking to that cunt!!! Every time I talk to Christina, she always fills my head with so much shit that really upsets and depresses me. Even though it's probably the truth and I probably need to start getting over Shar¡ really quick, I just don't want to until I know for sure. I also would like to think that there is a lot of better stuff that Christina doesn't ever tell me, but still.
Well she is sick and wasn't in a very good mood in the first place. She then asked if Shar¡ had written me yet, so I'd assume that she gave Shar¡ my zip code, although I would still very much doubt it. I said no and then started asking her what was up? She said that she doesn't really talk to Shar¡ much right now, and is pissed because Shar¡ always wants to bring Craig along with them when they go out nowadays. I told her that I remembered when she used to get pissed about me being there all of the time. She then was telling me that Shar¡ and Craig are thinking about having another baby... making a total of three in their family. That killed me... but my mind wants to believe that it is something she told Craig in case she has my baby, so he'll think it's his. She also asked me if I remembered how she and Shar¡ used to want to get an apartment together. I said yes, and she said that nowadays it's going to be her and Shar¡ AND Craig. I kind of wonder now if this is all stuff from before Thanksgiving weekend. I hope so.
I told her how I dumped my girlfriend when I got home but didn't fully explain that it was because of what Shar¡ told me. I then told her that I've started "dating" Clint's ex-girlfriend in the past few nights and told her a quick story of how I met Sarah at Busch Gardens just before I met Shar¡. I then said that I never pursued Sarah because I was dating Shar¡. Christina said that going out with Shar¡ was probably the biggest mistake of my life and I said it wasn't because I had fun and was actually happy for a while. I Then asked why I liked Shar¡ so much, and admitted that I still do... just hoping that any of this will get passed on to her.
Well, at least this current bit of horrible news was absorbed quite well by the hope of the possible relationship with Sarah. Without Sarah right now to overshadow Shar¡, I think I would be really depressed and I don't need that right now. Depressed as in upset. And not meaning to jinx anything, but now there's hope that Shar¡ really will send me a letter!!!
And a few final words from Leigh Anne: she gave me that rose on Monday to prove her love for me and how she will stick by my side through anything. Well, the significance of the rose is now this...
I found this alone in a stamped envelope in the mail this morning and it's unfortunate how it moved me not in the least, for it is a rather decent poem.
Well she is sick and wasn't in a very good mood in the first place. She then asked if Shar¡ had written me yet, so I'd assume that she gave Shar¡ my zip code, although I would still very much doubt it. I said no and then started asking her what was up? She said that she doesn't really talk to Shar¡ much right now, and is pissed because Shar¡ always wants to bring Craig along with them when they go out nowadays. I told her that I remembered when she used to get pissed about me being there all of the time. She then was telling me that Shar¡ and Craig are thinking about having another baby... making a total of three in their family. That killed me... but my mind wants to believe that it is something she told Craig in case she has my baby, so he'll think it's his. She also asked me if I remembered how she and Shar¡ used to want to get an apartment together. I said yes, and she said that nowadays it's going to be her and Shar¡ AND Craig. I kind of wonder now if this is all stuff from before Thanksgiving weekend. I hope so.
I told her how I dumped my girlfriend when I got home but didn't fully explain that it was because of what Shar¡ told me. I then told her that I've started "dating" Clint's ex-girlfriend in the past few nights and told her a quick story of how I met Sarah at Busch Gardens just before I met Shar¡. I then said that I never pursued Sarah because I was dating Shar¡. Christina said that going out with Shar¡ was probably the biggest mistake of my life and I said it wasn't because I had fun and was actually happy for a while. I Then asked why I liked Shar¡ so much, and admitted that I still do... just hoping that any of this will get passed on to her.
Well, at least this current bit of horrible news was absorbed quite well by the hope of the possible relationship with Sarah. Without Sarah right now to overshadow Shar¡, I think I would be really depressed and I don't need that right now. Depressed as in upset. And not meaning to jinx anything, but now there's hope that Shar¡ really will send me a letter!!!
And a few final words from Leigh Anne: she gave me that rose on Monday to prove her love for me and how she will stick by my side through anything. Well, the significance of the rose is now this...
The single rose before you,
Resembles what we shared,
So unique and beautiful,
Growing without a care.
Then one day the sun stopped shining,
Our relationship came to an end,
You left me out in the rain,
The rose will never bloom again.
Love hurts sometimes,
That's just how it goes,
But a tear will remain forever,
Upon the single rose.
I found this alone in a stamped envelope in the mail this morning and it's unfortunate how it moved me not in the least, for it is a rather decent poem.
Wednesday, December 1, 1993
December 1, 1993 - Wednesday - Sarah: twice in two!!!
I didn't bother to wake up for biology this morning because I was really tired. Ashley called early to tell me that she wasn't going either, but had to move her car again. She would have wanted me to go with her if I had actually gotten ready, but oh well. Speaking of Ashley, I remember the other night in her room, she finally admitted to everybody that she called me up here from a Seven Eleven down in Brandon one Saturday night. It was pretty funny. She was saying that she got a lot of answering machines before calling me back. I cried that she just picked me because nobody else was home and she said that, on the contrary, I was one of the first people she called but nobody answered! Boy did I feel special!
I dressed up kind of nicely today and donned my glasses as I entered my German class today. I said good morning to Noel who was sitting in the front and stopped to talk to him for a minute. I leant against the teacher's table without any fear of being in front of the class, actually I sometimes like that. There was this really attractive blonde in the back who isn't in the class, just visiting a friend. She asked the girl if I was her teacher and I just found it funny that someone would even mistake little just-turned-nineteen year old me as a teacher. I then enjoyed a really fun talk with Karen and was actually a little perverted with her. She was asking me what kind of doctor I want to be and I said that I'm not sure, maybe an obstetrician. She was surprised that she had wanted to do the same thing at one time until she found out that you must be a gynecologist as well for that field. I was surprised and told her I didn't mind.
We were also joking that someday she'll be the head of a group of doctors, and I'll just be the guy that pushes around the cardiopulmonary resuscitator machine. She laughed and joked at how she'll be the one slapping me around to work harder and faster. I then said that someday I'll advance to a surgeon in her group, and then one day she'll get sick and will be under my knife and I'll remember all of the abuse. We laughed a lot about that nd joked around quite a bit more. Afterwards I walked her to class and told her (bragged!) about the problems that accumulated over the weekend and she was one of the most receptive people that I have told it to. She had already told me in class about how she has a boyfriend and seems dedicated so I didn't mind if I killed any possible interest between us, since it's probably made up in my head. That will probably make our friendship better because she'll know that the interest in her isn't physical, necessarily.
I also told her how I just dumped my girlfriend and she exclaimed that she didn't know I had one!!! I explained to her how I've been dating my next door neighbor for a month since just after I got my letter from Shar¡. She asked if that's the girl she always sees me walking with and I said I don't think so, that's Ashley. She then said that she's just being nosy but I don;t care or mind at all, I actually invite her to be. Today was AIDS awareness day and they set up a tent with a lot of educational displays inside and were having a rally out on the Plaza where all of the alternative freaks hang out. A thought suddenly transgressed through my mind: AIDS ===> sex ===> safe sex ===> condoms ===> free condoms!!! So I headed over and sure enough there were baskets full of free condoms and I grabbed a handful of five and a little red ribbon, to safe face, which I threw away when I was out of eyesight of the ordeal.
I saw a rather attractive girl there and realized that a lot of those hippie freaks are rather attractive and carefree and it might possibly be easy to have sex with them. Hmmm. I want to tell Shar¡ someday that after she left me, I just started fucking for fun, and want to tell her that I don't like it much when I don't care about the person, which is why I want her back so bad. Well, the Plaza, might be a cool way to pick up some chicks. We'll see.
I was sitting in the kitchen talking to Chris later on about girls and had brought up Sarah in our conversation and was telling him a lot of the promising things we told each other last night. He was kind of impressed and I can't wait to show him the pictures of her on Friday. While we were talking, she called!!!!! It took me a few seconds to figure out who it was because she was the last person I expected to call. It was awesome to get two long distance phone calls two days in a row!!!, when there wasn't really anything important to talk about! It was entirely social on her part and I loved that. I went into my room and we talked for forty-five minutes until her mom came home with groceries and she had to go help her. When she got back to the phone, she called me "Hon" and asked me if I'll call her Sunday night, and I said yes, of course.
She was packing for a leadership program in Orlando for HOSA during which she'll be running for state historian. She's local historian at her school. We were being really sweet to each other and were saying how much we like talking top each other. I told her that she made my day by calling and then we talked about each other's day. I told her about my little condom excursion and she laughed and called me a typical male. She has been sick recently and has only been to school about four days of the last three weeks and is really far behind. She said her day was really stressful and on top of that, she dropped her books in the hallway and was really embarrassed.
I was wondering today what her middle name is and I asked her tonight. She said that she isn't going to tell me because hardly anybody knows, not even her little brother. She says that the people who do know always make fun of her and I promised not to, asking when I ever make fun of her. She asked mine and I told her. She finally told me that it is Holm, and explained that it was the maiden name of one of her mother's best friends. Sarah was born on this woman's birthday as well. She is named after her grandmother on her mom's side as well. She then told me that she did mail me my pictures this morning but didn't get a chance to write anything on them!!! That's cool and I made a big deal out of it to her. It's funny how I can show my excitement so easily to her and actually tell her some of my ulterior motives in reference to her. I've never been able to tell a girl stuff like that before.
For example: we started talking about how we met on the first day. It had rained and she said that for the first time in her life, some drunk guy said, "Nice headlights!' and she actually thanked him!!! She didn't realize what he meant and had to ask Amanda and was really embarrassed when she found out the guy was talking about her nipples! I then brought up how I went and got her popcorn that day and she remembered that well and started laughing! She said that she thought I had gotten that for her friend, and I said no that I was actually trying to figure out how to try and hit on her, but I couldn't say that then because it might have gotten to Clint and come back to haunt me. She said that it was really good popcorn and I said that it was the best that I could do since I was working and didn't have many options available to me. It was a really cool conversation. I then told her how I didn't think she'd call back that first time when I gave her my phone number and so on.
At the beginning I exclaimed that I thought I was supposed to call her back, and she said that she wanted to do so first!!! That was cool, too. She also told me how she hasn't completely told this guy in the Navy that she's dumping him but she knows for sure that she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore, she doesn't write to him or call him. He can't call her because his superior officers won't let him. She just asked me what a good way would be to get rid of him for good, nicely. I told her to tell him that she's a lesbian and she joked that she is! I then told her to hurt him good because that will teach him to be a little more careful in future references. my advice ended up being really good I think.
Well, once again we had a beautiful talk over the phone and I'm convinced more than ever that the hopes for the two of us are very strong. My group of fab four from the summer seem to be jumping back into my life right now stronger than ever: Shar¡, Sarah, Carey Ann, and Laura!!! Those few days of work at Busch Gardens impacted my life so strongly that it often amazes me, even more the longer and stronger the relationships get!
Kostas called Dave a little while ago down in Tampa and told him that I'm working on girlfriend number three!!! and was bragging a lot about me. He was saying that I'm the man nowadays and am getting all of the women. He also told Dave how I viscously and ruthlessly destroyed the next door neighbor, despite the sex! He then told him that I told Leigh Anne that I never meant anything that I told her and that everything was physical, and I don't need her anymore. He was doing a lot to glamorize my situation and did a damn good job. I felt proud and was loving every second of the attention. Go me. At least now I can be happy again!!! Even without Shar¡, either Kimmeth or Sarah can make me so happy right now!!!
I dressed up kind of nicely today and donned my glasses as I entered my German class today. I said good morning to Noel who was sitting in the front and stopped to talk to him for a minute. I leant against the teacher's table without any fear of being in front of the class, actually I sometimes like that. There was this really attractive blonde in the back who isn't in the class, just visiting a friend. She asked the girl if I was her teacher and I just found it funny that someone would even mistake little just-turned-nineteen year old me as a teacher. I then enjoyed a really fun talk with Karen and was actually a little perverted with her. She was asking me what kind of doctor I want to be and I said that I'm not sure, maybe an obstetrician. She was surprised that she had wanted to do the same thing at one time until she found out that you must be a gynecologist as well for that field. I was surprised and told her I didn't mind.
We were also joking that someday she'll be the head of a group of doctors, and I'll just be the guy that pushes around the cardiopulmonary resuscitator machine. She laughed and joked at how she'll be the one slapping me around to work harder and faster. I then said that someday I'll advance to a surgeon in her group, and then one day she'll get sick and will be under my knife and I'll remember all of the abuse. We laughed a lot about that nd joked around quite a bit more. Afterwards I walked her to class and told her (bragged!) about the problems that accumulated over the weekend and she was one of the most receptive people that I have told it to. She had already told me in class about how she has a boyfriend and seems dedicated so I didn't mind if I killed any possible interest between us, since it's probably made up in my head. That will probably make our friendship better because she'll know that the interest in her isn't physical, necessarily.
I also told her how I just dumped my girlfriend and she exclaimed that she didn't know I had one!!! I explained to her how I've been dating my next door neighbor for a month since just after I got my letter from Shar¡. She asked if that's the girl she always sees me walking with and I said I don't think so, that's Ashley. She then said that she's just being nosy but I don;t care or mind at all, I actually invite her to be. Today was AIDS awareness day and they set up a tent with a lot of educational displays inside and were having a rally out on the Plaza where all of the alternative freaks hang out. A thought suddenly transgressed through my mind: AIDS ===> sex ===> safe sex ===> condoms ===> free condoms!!! So I headed over and sure enough there were baskets full of free condoms and I grabbed a handful of five and a little red ribbon, to safe face, which I threw away when I was out of eyesight of the ordeal.
I saw a rather attractive girl there and realized that a lot of those hippie freaks are rather attractive and carefree and it might possibly be easy to have sex with them. Hmmm. I want to tell Shar¡ someday that after she left me, I just started fucking for fun, and want to tell her that I don't like it much when I don't care about the person, which is why I want her back so bad. Well, the Plaza, might be a cool way to pick up some chicks. We'll see.
I was sitting in the kitchen talking to Chris later on about girls and had brought up Sarah in our conversation and was telling him a lot of the promising things we told each other last night. He was kind of impressed and I can't wait to show him the pictures of her on Friday. While we were talking, she called!!!!! It took me a few seconds to figure out who it was because she was the last person I expected to call. It was awesome to get two long distance phone calls two days in a row!!!, when there wasn't really anything important to talk about! It was entirely social on her part and I loved that. I went into my room and we talked for forty-five minutes until her mom came home with groceries and she had to go help her. When she got back to the phone, she called me "Hon" and asked me if I'll call her Sunday night, and I said yes, of course.
She was packing for a leadership program in Orlando for HOSA during which she'll be running for state historian. She's local historian at her school. We were being really sweet to each other and were saying how much we like talking top each other. I told her that she made my day by calling and then we talked about each other's day. I told her about my little condom excursion and she laughed and called me a typical male. She has been sick recently and has only been to school about four days of the last three weeks and is really far behind. She said her day was really stressful and on top of that, she dropped her books in the hallway and was really embarrassed.
I was wondering today what her middle name is and I asked her tonight. She said that she isn't going to tell me because hardly anybody knows, not even her little brother. She says that the people who do know always make fun of her and I promised not to, asking when I ever make fun of her. She asked mine and I told her. She finally told me that it is Holm, and explained that it was the maiden name of one of her mother's best friends. Sarah was born on this woman's birthday as well. She is named after her grandmother on her mom's side as well. She then told me that she did mail me my pictures this morning but didn't get a chance to write anything on them!!! That's cool and I made a big deal out of it to her. It's funny how I can show my excitement so easily to her and actually tell her some of my ulterior motives in reference to her. I've never been able to tell a girl stuff like that before.
For example: we started talking about how we met on the first day. It had rained and she said that for the first time in her life, some drunk guy said, "Nice headlights!' and she actually thanked him!!! She didn't realize what he meant and had to ask Amanda and was really embarrassed when she found out the guy was talking about her nipples! I then brought up how I went and got her popcorn that day and she remembered that well and started laughing! She said that she thought I had gotten that for her friend, and I said no that I was actually trying to figure out how to try and hit on her, but I couldn't say that then because it might have gotten to Clint and come back to haunt me. She said that it was really good popcorn and I said that it was the best that I could do since I was working and didn't have many options available to me. It was a really cool conversation. I then told her how I didn't think she'd call back that first time when I gave her my phone number and so on.
At the beginning I exclaimed that I thought I was supposed to call her back, and she said that she wanted to do so first!!! That was cool, too. She also told me how she hasn't completely told this guy in the Navy that she's dumping him but she knows for sure that she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore, she doesn't write to him or call him. He can't call her because his superior officers won't let him. She just asked me what a good way would be to get rid of him for good, nicely. I told her to tell him that she's a lesbian and she joked that she is! I then told her to hurt him good because that will teach him to be a little more careful in future references. my advice ended up being really good I think.
Well, once again we had a beautiful talk over the phone and I'm convinced more than ever that the hopes for the two of us are very strong. My group of fab four from the summer seem to be jumping back into my life right now stronger than ever: Shar¡, Sarah, Carey Ann, and Laura!!! Those few days of work at Busch Gardens impacted my life so strongly that it often amazes me, even more the longer and stronger the relationships get!
Kostas called Dave a little while ago down in Tampa and told him that I'm working on girlfriend number three!!! and was bragging a lot about me. He was saying that I'm the man nowadays and am getting all of the women. He also told Dave how I viscously and ruthlessly destroyed the next door neighbor, despite the sex! He then told him that I told Leigh Anne that I never meant anything that I told her and that everything was physical, and I don't need her anymore. He was doing a lot to glamorize my situation and did a damn good job. I felt proud and was loving every second of the attention. Go me. At least now I can be happy again!!! Even without Shar¡, either Kimmeth or Sarah can make me so happy right now!!!